The Unforeseen Heir
by Viraqua
Summary: An incident at birth leaves Naruto's real parents to believe he's dead until events start popping up that make it obvious he is more than he seems. Slow yet psychotic. Mokuton/Naruto, Naru/Ino/Tema/Ten. M for language, kinkyness, and gore.
1. Death, Birth, Hair and Heir

The unforseen Heir

Like everybody else here I don't own Naruto. If I did I would cast fire and lightning bolts on the authors of some of the crappy horrible stories I've made the mistake of taking time to read.

This is my first fanfic. Might even be a one hit wonder. All I know is I want to see how well I can cut my teeth into it. I might read reviews, might not. No voting, I've already mapped out the story. SO! First chapter of the Unforseen Heir. Death, Birth, and Hair

What you won't see in this fic

-Female sob story Kyuubi

-The overuse of the numerical word SEVERAL. This is not fucking Halo and only Halo can pull it off cause Halo rocks.

-Happy go lucky fun time story. I'm not a 14 year old fangirl, this story's gonna have swearing, kink, lewd comedy, and overall insanity.

-Morality. HAHAHA! They're fucking ninja. Ninja don't have many of those. Might be underage drinking, smoking, sex and possibly lolicon

-Over-the-top bashing. There will be no overly stupid bashiness (charachters getting bashed and comming back like nothing happened).

-Whatever else I think of while writing this thing

So sit down, shut up, and ride the crazy train that is whatever I write

October 10th The Night of the Kyuubi Attack

-Konoha Hospital-

As the Kyuubi bared down on the hidden village of Konoha, a young redheaded kunoichi was in the throes of labor." AAAAHHH! ITAI! SONOFABITCH! Where the hell is my husband when I need him?" the irate women roared as another contraction wracked her body.

Dr. Yamagawa, the doctor in charge of the delivery, found it prudent to speak up, " Gomen Uzumaki-san, but Yondaime-sama is preparing for the attack of the Kyuubi. Said beast was responsible for the pickle Kushina was in right now. The Kyuubi's aura has caused Kushina to go into premature labor, more than a month before she was actually due.

The aura and the rough labor were also causing complications to pop up. Kushina started to internally bleed. Assistant doctor Tomodachi, in charge of trying to keep Kushina amongst the living, couldn't stop the bleeding. They would be nothing for the Legendary Slug Sanin to heal...

So where was she?

Seven doors down in the same maternity ward..."GYAAAAAHH! I swear to Kami you got me intentionally drunk so you could DO THIS TO ME!", She screamed through a contraction as she had the hand of the father in a death grip. Luckily Tsunade was in too much pain to use chakra to enhance her strength, so he only had a couple broken knuckles instead of pulp for a hand...so far,

" You know that's not true Tsunade-hime, but given the chance to change it, I'd do it all over again", he chimed in with a hint of pride as her contraction started to fade.

Tsunade calmed her breathing and looked into his eyes before speaking with nothing but seriousness written across her face," This is it Jiraiya. No more peeping. No more women. No more gallivanting all across the elemental nations for your spy network or whatever. Just you, me, and the baby", she stated with finality.

The white haired sage cracked a smile while looking back into her eyes," Yup, this IS it Tsunade. No more binge drinking. No more gambling, and definitely no more running. Just you, me and the baby. Promise".

She managed to smile as well," Promise...ugh! As soon as this kid stops TEARING UP MY INSIDES!", she managed to say through clenched teeth as another contraction wracked through her body.

Albeit that Tsunade's labor was premature, it was only by a couple weeks, and the battle hardened kunoichi was doing much better than her fellow mother-to-be.

Tsunade's assistant Sizune popped up from her position at the end of the birthing table and reassured her master," This last set of contractions should be it Tsunade-sama. Please bare through the pain", and went back to her previous position.

Jiraiya, seeing this, pouted," Why does Shizune get the really good job of staring at you pussy while I get YEOWCH!", he hollered as a crack announced another broken knuckle.

Tsunade Glared at him," Dammit, I forgot to add your over the top perversion to the deal!", she growled as the contraction lessened, just for another to follow, making for a horrible time for a comback.

"Yeah? And I forgot physical abuse, but you don't hear me bitchi-YEOW! That was my last good knuckle!" Jiraya cried out as Tsunade broke his last knuckle in the hand she was gripping, confirmed by the dull crunch.

"Just be glad IT WASN'T SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT I WAS SQUEEZING!", Tsunade howled as she started pushing and breathing Le Mans style.

Shizune watched from below as a blood covered bulb started pushing through," I can see the head crowning Tsunade-sama! These last few pushes should do it!", Shizune prompted the mother to be. With her apprentices encouragement, Tsunade screamed through her last few pushes whilst Jiraiya started going cross-eyed as the vice like for that was Tsunade's grip started mashing the bits and pieces in his hand together. Finally, the baby was born. While it was a couple weeks premature, it was still as lively and vocal as it started crying.

Shizune placed the infant in his mother's arms, whilst she cut the umbilical cord and cleaned up the "remains". Tsunade looked at her crying son, while Jiraiya shook off the paon of his broken hand while doing the same. "He's beautiful" Tsunade spoke through her fatigue.

"He definitely is Hime. Looks like he got your cute nose outta the deal too.", Jiraiya agreed with his partner in parenthood.

Tsunade looked at her son's nose. "That does not look like my no-" she cut off her declaration as the baby made a face while scrunching his nose up. Tsunade sweatdropped as Jiraiya grinned in victory.

The parents looked at the rest of the features on the baby. The writhing bundle sported bright yellow hair and bright blue eyes. Tsunade decided to speak up, " He almost could pass for a miniature Minato. I know he got the hair from my mother but where the heck did he get such bright blue eyes?", Tsunade pondered.

"Who knows, I don't have a very good memory of my parents so he could have gotten them from my side. Though his hair consistency is definitely from me. Once he hits his teens I'm sure he'll sport his old man's impressive mane!" Jiraya finished as Tsunade narrowed her eyes at the Sage.

" No way in hell I'm letting my son grow that hedgehog you call a hairstyle!"

Jiraiya looked shocked at this," But it's key in doing Needle Jizo when he becomes as good as his old man!".

Tsunade countered his statement," Bullshit! Sensei can use it too and he has short hair!".

Jiraiya crossed his arms as he pouted," You're just jealous of my awesome hair."

Before Tsunade could retort, Shizune decided to break into the debate," A-ano, If you don't mind, I'd like to take the baby to the nursery to get him cleaned up and do a diagnostic". The parents turned to the forgotten assistant and looked at her before looking at the baby still covered in "Tsunade". Tsunade gave the baby over to her apprentice with a bashful look on her face.

The two new parents were left in the silent room, listening to the now audible sounds of the fight against the king of bijuu little more than two miles away from the village.

Tsunade looked to Jiraiya with concern," Is it safe to be here with the Kyuubi looming closer to Konoha? I can feel it's rank chakra from here and it's not even close to the village yet.".

Jiraiya put a reassuring hand on her shoulder as he tried to quell her worries," Don't worry Hime,. Minato said he thought of a way to stop it. Apparently he's been holed up in his office for the last hour working on it".

She gave him a questioning look," Shouldn't you be helping him?".

Jiraiya smiled and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze," I have faith in the gaki. He HAS surpassed me after all. If he needed help from me, he wouldn't hesitate to ask. Besides, what kind of father would I be if I didn't help see my son into the world?", Jiraiya beamed during the last part.

Hearing this Tsunade couldn't help but be reminded..."Speaking of fathers, I wonder how Kushina is holding up considering what she went through. I'm surprised she survived what happened at all."

Jiraiya gave a thoughtful look," Don't know. She's a strong girl, but I'll check up on her once we're..." "TSUNADE-SAMA!" Jiraiya was cut off by the desperate scream of Shizune.

Kushina Uzumaki's Room: Earlier:

Kushina was not doing too well. Actually, she was pretty much critical. Complications due to basically dragging herself out of hell, and the Kyuubi's chakra bearing down on her meant her life was fading. But if Kushina was one thing, it was stubborn. Damn stubborn. She was determined to deliver this baby whether it meant her life was forfeit or not. With every little bit of strength she could muster, she battled on through her las few pushes and finally brought her child into the world...stillborn.

Kushina's look of accomplishment turned to one of worry as she heard no crying. Dr. Yamagawa worked frantically to try and revive the baby, making sure nothing was blocking it's air passageway to chakra stimulation of the heart, yet it was all for not.

"Doctor? Doctor what's wrong? Why...why can't I hear my baby?" a fading Kushina asked, fearing the worst.

The doctor looked sadly at the would be mother and confirmed her fears. " I'm sorry Kushina-san...he didn't make it",

Kushina's will to live shattered as she started crying, the last vestiges of life leaving her,"n-no...my baby, no...It wasn't s-supposed to...be like this...Mi..na...to", her eyelids grew heavy as she uttered her last words.

Dr. Tomodachi saw her dropping vitals and immediately tried to stabilize her," Shit! We're losing her!" he yelled to the other doctor as her heart monitor flatlined. He immediately started resuscitation but Dr. Yamagawa knew it was hopeless with the Kyuubi so close.

He pulled her heart monitor and motioned for the assistant to stop," It's hopeless, there's no way to revive her in this situation". Tomodachi looked at him and knew as well.

They wrote down the times of death and Yamagawa left with Kushina's stillborn son to clean up the body for the coroner when they called him. He took the infant body to a room across from the nusery/viewing room and cleaned it up as best he could, when all of a sudden Dr. Tomodachi, who was supposed to do the same for Kushina's body, burst into the room and immediately blurted out," We need another baby!", his face had of look of absolute fear on it.

Dr. Yamagawa looked at him dumbfounded, " Wh-what the hell are you talking about?".

Tomodachi, still frantic, continued his hurried explanation," Yondaime-sama came into Kushina-san's room to see how the delivery went so I had to break the bad news about her. He looked ready to kill right before he asked for his son, so I told him I would get him.".

Yamagawa looked horrified at Tomodachi, " You idiot! His son is dead! Why didn't you tell him?".

Tomodachi immediately retorted, " Then you go tell him!"

"Hell no!"

"Then we need another baby!"

Yamagawa looked at him with doubt," Where the hell are we going to get another baby? It's not like we're delivering many of them at the hospital right now, most of the other pregnant women were moved ot the Hokage monument after Kushina's problems. Not only that it would have to LOOK like Kushina or the Yondaime. So considering how rare redheads are around here, where the hell do we find a just born...blond...baby...boy."

Tomodachi noticed Yamagawa's line of sight and turned to see what caught his attention. Across from the room, in the windowed nursery of the maternity ward, was a raven haired woman carrying a newborn, BLONDE, baby and setting it ino one of the cribs after washing it. She looked through the cabinets, trying to find something, before muttering someting with an annoyed look and walking off to another part of the hospital wing to find what she was looking for. Tomodachi turned back to look at Yamagawa the same time Yamagawa did the same. Both of them stared at eachother for only a second before bolting for the nursery with the stillborn Namikaze under arm.


	2. Switching Out The Lightbulbs

Chapter 2 Switching out the lightbulbs

Shizune couldn't believe she had to go on a scavenger hunt just to find the baby something to wear. "You would think the best hospital in the shinobi world would be better stocked", she grumbled to herself until she heard the distant rumbles and roars of the heated battle with the Kyuubi,

" On the other hand, considering current events, I should be grateful the hospital is even here.", she mused about the giant fox demon being held off by the brave men and women of the Konoha shinobi forces. She had no illusion as to why the hospital was pretty much deserted.

With all the medic nins close to the front lines to tend to the injured ( how few the bijuu would leave), and a majority of the civilian doctors with the civilians in the depths of the Hokage Monument, only a few straggler civilian doctors were tending the hospital and even fewer with the use of medical jutsu. Which is why Tsunade's group delivered the baby by themselves, not that Tsunade would trust her baby to anyone else besides her own apprentice.

Coming out of her thoughts, Shizune finally located a supply closet in the maternity ward with what she was looking for. Grabbing up the blankets and pajamas in one arm, she shut the door and walked back to the nursery while her thoughts changed to her current situation.

With Tsunade's & Jiraiya's new son, they would both finally settle down. She hated to think this way but she was happy that Jiraiya got her master pregnant. 'No more running around Fire Country, evading debts collectors!' Shizune thought to herself as she opened the doors to the nursery.

' I might even be able to get a job here and start my own...' Shizune's thought process ceased immediately as she looked upon the pale, unmoving form of the baby. Instantly knowing something was horribly wrong, she dropped the bundle she was carrying and ran over to the crib. Seeing the baby wasn't breathing, she quickly activated the **Mystic Palm Justsu** to begin diagnosis and resuscitation. Confirming cardiac arrest as well, she quickly tried to resuscitate the baby. Panic and frustration built up at the failing attempt to revive the baby until Shizune could only think of one option

" TSUNADE-SAMA!"

The fact that she had just been through 4 hours of labor was lost on Tsunade after hearing her apprentice scream. She bolted straight out of the bed and raced to the nursery with Jiraiya close on her tails.

What she was met with when she got there made her heart drop like a stone as she heard, " Oh Kami no" from Jiraya behind her. Her face turned from worried to horrified.

Shizune was still trying frantically to resuscitate the baby. Her baby!

Shizune's head shot up, " The baby stopped breathing and went into cardiac arrest! I need help!", she screamed in panic.

Tsunade shot over to the baby faster than a Hiraishin and took over for the faltering apprentice. " What happened?¡ You were only gone for a few minutes!", the Sanin shouted in frustration and dread.

" I don't know! I was gone for less than two minutes trying to find something for him to wear, and by the time I got back he was like this! It doesn't make any sense! I've never seen an infant's well being go from lively to this that fast!", Shizune replied, looking on helplessly along with Jiraiya.

It was then the worried Toad Sage paled upon coming up with the most possible, yet horrifying explanation," The Kyuubi's chakra. If it can make a woman go into premature labor..." he let the sentence hang. The two medics were wide eyed with despair. If it was the Kyuubi's chakra...then there was no way to possibly...

Tsunade clenched her teeth so hard, they felt as if they would break, and her face contorted into pure anger and determination,

" No! Dammit no! I'm not giving up yet! I already lost two of my loved ones, I'm not going to lose a third!", and with that the healing chakra she had positioned over the baby surged to twice what it was originally as Tsunade put her all into it." Jiraiya, grab a defibrillator!"

Jiraiya flew back to the delivery room and yanked the defib unit from the corner of the room. He then rushed back, the wheels on the machine hardly touching the floor. Handing it off to Shizune, she prepped the machine and pressed the child sized paddles the the chest of the baby.

"Clear!", the baby's body jumped from the shock. Tsunade checked for a heartbeat. Nothing!

"Again!", she hollered as she kept the green chakra flowing into the baby, oxygenating the blood and flowing it through the body. Shizune charged it again and reset the paddles,

"Clear!". The baby jumped again but still nothing was gained. Shizune charged the machine a third time, needing no prompting from her master, " Clear!". The body jerked again but there was no response.

By this time Tsunade was running on fumes from overpowering the **Mystic Palm Jutsu**, her hands trembling and sweat running profusely down her face along with tear tracks. As the jutsu sputtered and died from loss of control and lack of chakra, Tsunade stared past the silent form of what was to be her son, reliving the horrible memories of how she couldn't save Dan either.

Jiraya silently walked over to her and softly put her hands on her shoulders. They trembled before she slowly turned her body to look at Jiraiya's tear stained face.

"Tsunade, I'm sorry. There's...nothing left you can do". In her mind, she knew he was right. The present caught up with her. Her knees buckled as she fell to the floor, Jiraiya coming right down with her to comfort her ash she finally let loos her anguish. Shizune silently cried to herself as she looked down onto the lifeless form she was supposed to take care of.

'I-It wasn't s-supposed to be like this. This wasn't supposed to happen.' she thought as she listened to her master's heart wrenching cries.

[With the Yondaime, a little earlier]

Minato sat at the side of his late lover's bed, waiting for the doctor to bring his son. Tears ran down the face of the young Hokage as he talked to his deceased beloved.

" Kushina, my love. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. Maybe things would have turned out different. M-maybe...", Minato had to recollect himself, " I hope you can forgive me for that, but mostly, for what I'm about to set upon the shoulders of our child. How could I ask any other parent to give up their child for something I'm not willing to risk our own? I can only hope that the village treats him as the here that he will become for holding the Kyuubi at bay. Rest eternal my love, I hope the Shinigami shows mercy and let's me see you someday on the other side.". With that, the Yondaime kissed his lover for the last time, tears running off his face and onto Kushina's as he did.

He straightened himself as he heard footsteps approaching the room. The door opened and the doctor he ordered earlier, brought in his son. "H-hear you are Y-Yondaime-sama" Tomodachi stuttered, still intimidated by the earlier meeting...and hoping he didn't notice anything strange about the baby. Luckily, the baby had a stunning similarity with the Yondaime so Tomodachi was pretty sure he could get away with it.

Tomodachi watched on as the Yondaime smiled sadly at the infanft in his arms," Hey Naruto. I'm me, your dad", The newborn slowly cracked it's eyes open to look at the man holding him while he continued on," I'm sorry little guy, but I need you to help me save the village. I hope you can forgive us for not being around to watch you grow up, but I'll make sure everybody knows you're a true hero for what we're about to do", the Yondaime stated as fresh tears ran down from his eyes. With one last look at Kushina's body, he poofed out of the room to leave his final instructions to the Sandaime.

With the Yondaime gone, Tomodachi let loose the breath he was holding and slumped to the floor. Yamagawa poked his head into the room to make sure the Hokage was gone before coming into the room and speaking up,

" Did he notice?".

Tomodachi turned to him with a look of relief on his face," Not in the least bit".

Yamagawa sighed with relief," Good, now that our lives aren't in immediate danger anymore, we can get back to work". Tomodachi nodded before gaining a thoughtful expression," Whose baby do you think that was?".

Yamagawa quirked his eyebrow before he waved off his colleague," Who care? The body looked almost exactly like that baby, so there's no point in worrying". With that, the two doctors left to find the coroner for Kushina's body. Had they stayed and paid more attention, they would have noticed the small, shallow breaths coming from Kushina.

?

What happens next? Who the fuck knows? I sure as hell don't! Or do I? BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

UPDATE!¡!¡ It's easier to read! MAGIC! EVIL!


	3. The Fields of Love and Happiness

Chapter 3:

I don't own Naruto, otherwise Hinata would be a closet dominatrix

The Sandaime was enjoying his retirement with the Yondaime in power. He hoped from then on he could rest easy that the village was in safe hands and live the rest of his life knowing he did his duty for Konoha.

With the pregnancy of Minato's lover, and the shocking discovery of his two students "accidentally" creating a long thought lost Senju heir, it was to be a Golden Age for Konoha not seen since before the Second Great Shinobi War. But it was not to be. Hiruzen knew he would take up the seat once again after the Yondaime told him of his plan.

" Are you sure of this Minato? Is there no other way? Kushina is gone and with what you're proposing...he wouldn't have anybody to help him through this burden.".

The Yondaime looked down sadly at the sleeping infant, " I know Sandaime-dono, but Naruto is the best choice. Not only could I not ask a parent for another child, but my son may be the strongest child to bare the seal. I only ask that you see to his wellbeing and honor my last request.".

The Sandaime nodded solemnly," Alright Minato, I'll do what I can for your son. But I suggest he go under his mothers family name to keep Iwa and your enemies away from him". he recommended.

The Yondaime nodded," A good decision, but, tell him when he's older will you? And tell Ero-sensei I'm sorry I couldn't be there for him and Tsunade".

The Sandaime smiled sadly, " That I will. Good luck Yondaime-dono. I hope your sacrifice will bring peace to Konoha once again.". With that, the Yondaime disappeared in a yellow flash, and the toad boss Gamabunta could be seen summoned outside of the village as the Yondaime went to meet the Kyuubi on the battlefield.

{Back at the hospital]

Tsunade's tears finally stopped, leaving the empty shell of a defeated woman on the floor in the arms of the equally forlorn father. She stared blankly at the tiled floor as she tried to form sentences, " Jiraiya. I...I can't...I need to...it's just".

Jiraiya knew what she was trying to say and he couldn't blame her in the least bit, " I know Hime. The promise...I guess it just wasn't meant to be.". he agreed with her sadly.

She looked into his eyes with ones that looked thirty years older than her even without the genjutsu, " What will you do?".

Jiraiya sighed, feeling older than he should be, " Probably leave too. The network is still there and with nothing holding me here..." he left the sentence unfinished as sadness washed over his face again, before he spoke up again, " I'll go talk to sensei before I leave to see how things turn out." the Toad Sage finished.

Then he kissed Tsunade on the forehead, " Take care of yourself Hime, your luck...our luck won't always be this horrible.", and with that, Jiraiya left Tsunade to see to things.

Tsunade rose up and gathered her deceased child. She would bury him in Tanzaku Gai, away from Konoha.

As she started to leave, she noticed her apprentices lack of movement, " Aren't you coming Shizune?".

The raven haired woman looked at her with fear and doubt in her eyes, " B-but I...I-I should have...I failed...how could you-",

"-Shizune!", the older woman shouted.

Shizune jerked back as her eyes met her master's.

" It wasn't your fault! It was the furball's. We should have stayed out of the village...or we could have...GRRR should have, could have, would have, but we didn't!" she yelled mostly at herself as angry tears went down her eyes.

Shizune looked shocked at her master, " Ts-tsunade-sama...".

Tsunade looked back to her apprentice and sighed, " Let's go. I need to get out of this cursed village as soon as possible.". Shizune nodded solemnly, " Hai Tsunade-sama". With that, both women left the hospital to disappear in the chaos.

[ On the battlefield]

Things were not looking good for Konoha's shinobi. Especially for one of the Anbu med nins just off the front lines. She was frantically trying to stabilize as many wounded as she could.

Luckily for her, yet unluckily for others, the Fox didn't leave many survivors, so the number of wounded was manageable. Though whatever advantage of numbers she had was taken away by the severity of the wounds and trying to stabilize the patient with demonic chakra as thick as fog impeding any progress she made.

She popped another food pill as her reserves started to get low, the sweat rolling down her purple tattooed cheeks behind her Anbu mask. All the other medics were either stationed on other parts of the battlefield or suffering chakra exhaustion, leaving Rin the only one in their sector to treat the wounded.

Her old teammate Kakashi disappeared to somewhere on the front line leaving her with only two fresh genin to help her drag the wounded an dying back. She finally managed to stabilize her current patient, but noticed two others die from their wounds during her treatment of the third. She quickly got up and looked for the next one to work on, the triage marks on their head telling which one was more likely to survive with or without medical intervention. The cries and groans from the wounded mixed in with the sounds of the battle with the fox as she picked another patient.

" Tanuki-san!", she heard from one of the genins in charge of pulling back the wounded.

She looked up to see her two genin charges, Nanami and Hiroshi, dragging a chuunin kunoichi back from the battlefield by her arms, to big for the children to even carry. She waved briefly to indicate where she was on the darkened, hellish battlefield, before paling and screaming, " LOOK OUT!".

The two genins looked over their shoulder and went wide eyed. They both jumped forward to dodge the demon tail that crashed no 2 feet away from them and swung back around to smash some other poor bastard who wasn't quick enough. The two genin quickly got back up and dragged the kunoichi by the arms again to the relieved Anbu medic.

Rin sighed in relief that they escaped but she started paling again as they got closer, " Put her down and come to me!", she yelled.

The two genins looked at her like she was insane, " But she's wounded Tanuki-san!", Nanami yelled as she started turning around to look at the kunoichi.

"No! Don't look!", Rin tried to tell the genins but it was too late.

They both found out they were carrying only half of what they started out with, everything below the ribcage was mashed down in the earth 200 feet back. They both went wide eyed and froze completely, Hiroshi shaking like a leaf and Nanami starting to hyperventilate as they dropped the upper torso, the chunins head moving to stare lifelessly towards them.

Rin started running towards them, fearing they went into shock. Unfortunately she wasn't the only one to notice the two horrified genin. The Demon Fox set it's eyes right upon them. Rin ran faster hoping to get them out of the way as the Kyuubi started lunging towards them.

She got up to them and quickly wrapped her arms around their midsections and jumped as hard as she could to the right as the kyuubi's fangs claimed what was left of the other kunoichi and 30 cubit feet of the soild underneath it. Rin and the two genin were thrown 50 feet away from the impending doom only for it to reset it's sights on the three.

Rin got up with the genin still in her arms, ready to dodge again. But before the beast could attempt another attack, a flurry of sharp wooden tentacles shot out from the treetops and speared the Kyuubi in the right side of it's face.

Rin looked to see Dragon trying to divert it's attention from her and the two genin, who were now completely in shock and needing medical attention as well. Fortunately it was working. The Kyuubi set it's hateful glare on the Anbu that just tried to gouge it's face and attacked him as he retreated back into the woods, luring the Kyuubi away to another front of the battleground.

Rin breathed a sigh of relief, again, and then went wide eyed when Dragon appeared right next to her. " Weren't you luring it away?" she asked wondering if she had to start running again.

Dragon pointed to where "he" was earlier," Wood clone. Should keep it busy for a while." Dragon stated before looking around like he was trying to find something.

He turned back to her, " Where the hell is Inu? I thought he was looking out for you and your squad?".

Rin slumped her shoulders afer setting down the two genin to start treating them, " I don't know. The chunin we were with, were crushed under a tree, and after that, he just charged in. I found these two separated from their genin squad and put them to work dragging wounded away from the front lines.".

Suddenly they caught the sound of Inu's voice calling out a jutsu before a bolt of lightning hit the side of the bijuu, causing it to turn it's sights right back from the way it came and let out a monstrous roar..

Tanuki and Dragon saw this immediately, " What the hell is he doing? He's leading it right back here! Tanuki, get your team outta here before it's too late!" Dragon yelled, already getting to start diversionary tactics again.

Rin grabbed up the unconscious genin and started to run just as the Kyuubi did the same towards their direction. Thankfully before she had to start doging again, something big started..."hopping" towards them, ultimately diverting it's attention again.

Rin looked up to see a sight she couldn't be happier to have laid eyes upon. " It's Gamabunta! Minato-sensei is here!" She got out as both Tanuki and Dragon watched the two mountain sized animals start fighting.

It proved not to be a great place to rest as the fight was happening only a hundred or so yards away. Sounds like a good distance but in a battle like this it's like being 2 feet away from a jutsu fight.

Both Tanuki and Dragon pulled back farther as the Yondaime and his summon fought the King of the bijuu. Suddenly, Gamabunta grabbed onto the fox demon, but not without getting a gash across his eye in retun. Rin looked up to see her sensei put down a bundle and start going through hand seals on top of the gigantic toads head.

" **Hurry up gaki! I can't keep him still for much longer**!" She heard the Toad Boss say to Minato up top. Moments after, a bright light shone from the top of the toads head and spread throughout the ruined forest.

[With Inu]

Kakashi didn't know what to think. One minute he was fighting off the demon, the next his sensei came to the battlefield and started to fight it with his massive summon, forcing Kakashi to withdraw. Then another minute, there was a bright light and when it faded, the demon was gone. Kakashi watched as the gian summons laid his prone sensei's figure on the ground before bursting into smoke. Kakashi's stupor ended there as he rushed to investigate.

[With Tanuki]

Rin's eyes refocused as the bright light disappeared...along with the Kyuubi? She stared for a few seconds before cheering.

" He did it! He got rid of the bijuu! He-", her next words died in her throat as she saw the giant summon set down the prone form of her teacher and Hokage before disappearing back to his realm.

Rin quickly barked out, " Dragon! Stay here with the genin! I'm going to find out if he needs medical help or not!" She finished as she lept away towards where the Toad Boss stood. She hoped it was just chakra exhaustion, but with how today was going, she knew to expect the worse by now. One thing that she did wonder though, was what that small bundle was in sensei's arms before the light.

[With the quickly fading Yondaime]

Minato laid there as his body shut down, content in knowing the village was out of danger. He turned to the crying form of the baby, the seal on it's stomach clearly visible. " Thanks little guy, you're...you're a hero now.", he strained to say. The baby stopped it's crying to look at the man next to it.

The dying hokage smiled at the staring infant before noticing a funny similarity, " I..I gotta say little guy, you're gonna...grow up to look alot like you're old man...but I can't for the ...life of me..figure out where you got that nose...it's almost looks...exactly...like" the baby scrunched it's nose at Minato making his eyes widen.

'Tsunade's! They didn't!', the hokage thought as things started to darken. Remembering the events at the hospital, he came to his final conclusion, " oh...ff-fffuck" and with that, the hokage finally closed his eyes and passed on.

[With Inu]

Kakashi went wide eyed as he saw his sensei lying lifelessly on the ground. He ran up to his sensei's body and confirmed the worst. He was dead. Whatever he did must have cost him his life. He then noticed the wiggling bundle next to the man and the seal on it's stomach that drew his attention. His sadness turned to rage as he pulled a kunai and got ready to kill the baby.

[With Tanuki]

She went wide eyed when she reached the clearing, seeing Inu ready to plunge a kunai through what she could se now as a baby. 'Sensei's son!' she thought as she immediately ran towards them with speeds she didn't think she was capable of. She jumped the last few feet, her arm outstretched hoping to make it in time as he started the downstroke.

[General view]

A kunai through an outstretched hand. That's what Kakashi saw instead of a dead demon. He turned towards the owner and instantly got decked in the side of his head by his former teammate.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?¡" Rin screamed at Kakashi.

He regained his wits after the punch and immediately shot back, " Killing a demon. A demon that killed sensei! So why the hell are your protecting it?".

Rin looked taken aback, " What the hell Kakashi? This is sensei's son! Not the damn demon!" she retorted while scooping the infant up to keep him from any new attacks.

Kakashi jumped up to his feet, " It stopped being sensei's son when it was put into him! There's no way anything could hold that thing!".

This was the scene Tenzou found when he reached the clearing as well with the two genin under arm. " Tanuki! Take him to the Sandaime and see what he wants done. Inu, I need help getting the wounded back to the hospital".

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at Tenzou, " Since when the hell are you the squad leader Dragon?", he spit at the Anbu.

Tenzou's whole demeanor changed, " When you decided to break off of Tanuki's group to fight a demon instead Inu!. Now help me and I MIGHT just forget to file that little stunt you pulled!".

Kakashi flinched, before giving the infant one last venomous glare behind his mask before jumping towards Rin's patients. Rin tucked the infant under one arm and lifted the Yondaime's body over her shoulder.

Dragon gave her a questioning look, from what she could tell from around his mask anyways, and she shrugged her shoulder.

" I...I might as well move them both. No reason to keep his body out here". With that explanation, Tenzou nodded and she started her trek towards the Hokage tower, albeit slower than possible due to the extra weight. It was a sad day for Rin indeed.

[Back with Jiraiya]

The Toad Sage leapt across the buildings at a slow pace towards the Hokage Tower, listening to the sounds of the horrible battle going on less than a mile away. Suddenly, a bright light spread across the town, coming from where the Kyuubi was, and then everything went silent.

He looked towards where the battle was supposed to be and saw a large red lump burst into smoke.

' That couldn't have been...Gamabunta?' the Sanin thought, then quickened his pace towards the Hokage Tower. He made one last jump and landed on the roof, only to see his old sensei there as well, looking out on the battlefield.

The Sandaime turned to see his student looking at him, wondering what was happening. He said only two words to Jiraya and it was all explained, "Shiki Fūjin", the old Hokage said as he puffed on his pipe. Jiraiya went wide eyed.

" He didn't! THAT was his plan?¡", he yelled out frustratingly. He knew the implications of such a seal. It mean that his student was dead.

And then another thought came to him, " What about his son? And Kushina?", he asked hesitantly.

The Sandaime turned to look at him sadly," He told me Kushina died during childbirth, and his son...he used to seal the demon away.".

Jiraiya looked like a defeated man. Everything was wrong before and it just got worse now. His son was dead, Tsunade left again, another of his best students was dead along with his lover, and his student's child was now a Jinchuuriki. Jiraiya slumped to the ground.

The Sandaime looked at his student with worry," What about your's and Tsunad-"

"-He didn't make it. The beast's chakra was too much for him.", Jiraiya answered him, knowing what he was going to ask.

The Sandaime cringed with this new bout of bad news, " I'm sorry to hear that Jiraiya. I was really hoping something went right today amongst this horrible tragedy. What are you and Tsunade going to do?", the wizened leader asked.

Jiraiya recollected himself and stood back up, " Tsunade already left the village with Shizune. I...don't think she will ever be coming back", he stated.

Hiruzen nodded solemnly towards his students answer, " I wouldn't expect her to. Not after all that's happened.", he said as Jiraiya nodded in agreement before staring off at the forest.

" As for me, the spy network still needs me so I guess I'll be doing the same. I'll keep you updated", he finished as he turned around to leave.

Hiruzen looked at his students retreating form," Jiraiya. What about your godson?". The Toad Sage stopped in his tracks.

" Gomen sensei...but...I just can't right now. I...I might come back to train him when he gets older. I'll keep Minato's enemies from finding out about him as well. Please take care of him for me will you sensei?".

The Sandaime nodded solemnly," I'll do what I can for the boy.". With that, Jiraiya Shunshined off the roof, not to be seen in Konoha for over a decade.

[Back at the hospital]

The Coroner and his assistant nurse rolled the gurney into Kushina's room, getting ready to put her body in the morgue. They got ready to transfer her to the gurney when the nurse noticed immediately that something was wrong.

" Doctor. Why is she still warm? They called us 15 minutes ago." she asked.

The Coroner took off his rubber glove and put it up to her mouth. It was faint, but he felt warm breath. " For Kami's sake, she's still alive! Get a medic in here on the double. Preferably not those two idiots who can't tell the difference between a corpse and a patient!", he ordered the assistant nurse as she rushed to the Emergency ward to do just that.

?

Well, I think I'll leave it there for now. I'm surprised at myself, I didn't even need to write that down on paper.

Buuut, I did need to come back and make it readable a couple years later. You can sue me, but all you'd get is a lousy t-shirt.


	4. The Joys of Surogate Motherhood

I don't own Naruto. If I did, I'd be rich and wouldn't have to write fanfics for a hobby.

After 2 blackouts and loss of internet, I finally bring you chapter 4 The joys of surrogate motherhood.

The Sandaime was not a happy man as he sat in, what was once again, his chair. Earlier, his chosen successor, Minato Namikaze, used a kinjutsu to seal away the Kyuubi into his own son, which was brought back to him from the battlefield by one of Minato's students. With Tanuki and the child in tow, the Sandaime went to the council chambers to address the current situation, only to find part of the council trying to use emergency powers to pass laws that would have usurped much of the Hokage's powers over his military.

Fortunately, with a demonstration of his "emergency powers", he managed to beat the council back into submission and halt the process in it's tracks. Unfortunately for the councilor who had said "emergency powers" demonstrated upon him, it would take multiple surgeries to reconstruct his ribcage.

THEN he had to announce the sealing of the Kyuubi into's Minato's son. Most of the civilian council wanted to " finish the job", but were alot less vocal than before. Danzo, predictably, wanted to turn him into a weapon, and Sarutobi's teammates/advisers wanted him under lock and key. Hiruzen, of course, put his foot down on this.

Furashubacku no Justu

" Enough! I only came you to inform you of his status and the Yondaime's last request. But since many of you here do not wish to honor that request, I am given little choice. His status as the holder of the Kyuubi and the sealing are now an S class one who doesn't know already will not be told by those who do under pain of death, especially to his generation. With that said, he will be cared for by a person of my choosing until a time that he will be able to be moved to the orphanage for adoption", Sarutobi stated with finality.

Most of the shinobi side agreed with this wholeheartedly, but the civilian side was seething. Had they gotten their laws through, they might have had more say in what happened to the Kyuubi brat, but until he was out of the Sandaime's care, they couldn't touch him.

The Nara clan head Shikaku decided to speak up about a thought, " Hokage-sama, what are you going to do about his lineage? If Iwa get's a sniff of a Namikaze heir in Konoha with no parents, things could get very troublesome", he addressed the issue in his usual lazy manner.

Sarutobi had thought of that beforehand, " It means he will have to take on his mother's name for the time being, to protect him from his father's enemies, until such a time he is able to defend himself under his true name. Therefore, he will be known and Uzumaki Naruto and his heritage will become a SS class secret. Break this law, and you're whole family will be killed" he stated darkly as his gaze wandered upon the paling faces of the council.

He then sighed and wrapped up the meeting, " With that all said, until a time when all casualties and damages have been accounted, this meeting is adjourned.". Wth that he walked out of the council chambers, Tanuki and child following right behind him.

Furashubacku no Jutsu enduru

' Yes, that meeting could have been better' the Hokage thought as he watched Tanuki rock the baby back asleep. Which reminded him of his last painful event. The death of Jiraiya and Tsunade's son. As hard as it was for him. He knew it was ten times harder on them.

As much as Tsunade harped at Jiraiya for, in her words," Using her womb to spawn another super pervert into the world", you could see the life and fire slowly returning to her eyes with each passing day.

And why wouldn't it? She was going to have a child she had long since given up on. To lose her child, essentially, to the village must have shattered her. As much as it pained Hiruzen to think about, he didn't expect Tsunade to ever come back.

Even Jiraiya was jumping with glee at having a son. He had even bought a house a fixed up one of the rooms for the baby. Now...both his child AND his student were dead. Jiraiya was always better at holding his emotions in than others, so for him to have actually shown sorrow that night...the old Hokage couldn't even imagine if or when Jiraya would come back to the village. He could only hope he did for his godson's sake at least. Things couldn't get any worse could they?

That's when Dragon decided to pop in to give the Sandaime his status report, " Hokage-sama, all casualties and wounded have been accounted for and taken to the proper facilities". he stated.

Sarutobi braced himself as he chewed on the end of his pipe, " All right, give it to me".

With that, Dragon continued on, " 276 dead, 96 wounded" Dragon told him grimly. Sarutobi sighed wearily and slumped into his chair,

" Almost half of our current shinobi forces" They were already short before from the war...now.."...how many of the wounded will be able to go back to active duty?" he asked.

Dragon wasn't able to give a positive answer, " only 42 Hokage-sama. The rest will be crippled for the rest of their lives.

Tanuki remembered her two charges and asked, " What about the two genin that were with me, Nanami and Hiroshi?". Dragon nodded, " They made it. I think they'll need a psych evaluation though...like alot of others".

The Hokage, curious about her question, decided to speak up, " Tanuki, why were two genin with an Anbu squad?".

Tanuki took her attention off of Dragon to look at the Hokage, " The chunin medic I was with was killed and Dragon was running diversions to keep the fox away from the wounded. I found them separated from the rest of their genin squad so I conscripted them into pulling wounded to me". she answered.

The Hokage had to wonder how chaotic the battlefield was for them. He nodded at the answer and turned his attention back to Dragon. " Is that all to report?".

Dragon shook his head, " No Hokage-sama. The Coroner wished me to tell you that Kushina Uzumaki is alive".

Sarutobi's eyebrows threatened to shoot off the top of his head, " What?¡ Minato told me she was dead! How is this possible?¡" the Hokage barked in frustration, causing Naruto to wake up and start fussing.

Dragon had the decency to look startled, " H-he said that Kushina-san's life signs were so faint that the doctors in charge of her must not have been able to detect them. The Coroner called one of the lead medics once they left the shelter. He said her heartbeat and breathing have steadily increased after receiving medical care, unfortunately she slipped into a coma from prior negligence. He doesn't know when or if Kushina-san will wake." he finished.

Sarutobi smacked his head against the top of the desk in defeat, causing Naruto to giggle.

The Hokage chuckled humorlessly, " Well at least someone's cheerful around here." 'Even though he might never know his mother.' he ended in thought.

' I still need to assign someone to care for him in his first year of life. The question is who?' he countinued his thoughts as he looked on the giggling baby getting tickled by Tanuki as she made baby noises at him.

He looked up at Tanuki, and then back down at Naruto, then back to Tanuki as a girn spread across his face. Dragon sweatdropped that his colleague set herself up like that. Tanuki remained blissfully unaware until she spoke up, " You're just a bright ball of sunshine aren't you? Don't you agree Hokage-...sa...maaaaaaa. W-wait! I can't-".

" Tanuki-chan, I have an long term B-ranked mission just for you!" the Hokage cut her off as he grinned deceivingly at her. Tanuki tried to argue the decision, " B-but Hokage-sama! I've never-",

"-Then it will be good experience for you. Think of it as learning firsthand about parenthood, without the stretch marks." he cut her off again.

Tanuki looked shocked at his statement, " H-hokage-sama!".

He waved off her argument before it started, " The fact is Tanuki, that he needs someone to care for him until he gets on his feet, literally. You, being one of the Yondaime's students, are the perfect choice. Not only that, it seems little Naruto has already grown a bond with you" he gestured towards the infant that was currently trying to take her mask off her face.

Dragon, who was snickering in his corner, decided to pipe in, " Tanuki-san, it's an easy, good paying mission, and sure to beat some of the ones we'll be given in the future. With half of the shinobi forces gone, we'll have to send undermanned squads on missions that would clearly call for twice as big of squad. This keeps you in the village for a year or more, and by then the situation might settle down more".

Tanuki slumped her shoulders in defeat, and looked at the infant who was still trying to pull off her mask, " I guess you're with me for a while little guy". The Hokage smiled now that Naruto's situation was taken care of, " Then you might as well take you're mask off Rin, before he does it for you",

With the Sandaime's prompting, Rin pulled off her mask, much to the amazement of Naruto, who looked like she just grew a second face, until she stuck her tongue out at him, then he just went back to giggling a clapping. It felt good to get that stuffy mask off her face, though to say she looked like crap from the long day would be an understatement. Dust lines mixed with sweat tracks across her face and tired, baggy eyes looked back at the Hokage.

" Umm, what should I do about things for the baby Hokage-sama? I'm sure there's no stores open right now, and my apartment isn't what you would call baby friendly." She asked as she watched Naruto start falling asleep again.

The Hokage already thought about this, and while he felt guilty about enterprising on his students' loss, he couldn't think of a better place. " My two students set up a house for their child. Unfortunately they lost him in the Kyuubi attack. I don't believe they will be comming back any time soon, so you may use it for the duration of your mission". The Hokage said as he scribbled down the address and grabbed up the extra set of keys Jiraiya had given him.

Dragon realized what the Hokage's words meant, " So. We lost the Senju heir Hokage-sama?" he asked quietly. He was hoping the Mokuton bloodline would be reawakened in that child so he could possibly teach him what he knew. He felt he owed an obligation to the Senju for his "gift", but could never find an opportunity to pay it.

The Hokage nodded sadly, " And most likely Tsunade will never come back, not that I would blame her after how many loved ones she's lost. But it would be a waste to let the room and the house go unused. Minato never really had a chance to get ready for Naruto and planned to move into the Hokage Mansion. Obviously that can't happen now so there's nowhere else to put him.".

Rin nodded solemnly as she took the keys and address and then bowed to the Hokage, " I'll do my best to care for him and keep him safe Hokage-sama". The Hokage nodded to her and she left the room with a sleeping Naruto in her arms.

With Rin out of the room, Dragon looked back to the aged leader," What about Kushina-san Hokage-sama?" he ask.

Sarutobi thought long and hard as he puffed on his pipe about what to do with Kushina until he reached the best decision. He looked at Dragon straight in the eyes, " Have her transferred to the medical facilities inside the Hokage Monument, until she wakes up she is to be declared dead. Not only will it keep any enemy away from her that might want to use Kushina to control or kill Naruto, but it will be best that Naruto doesn't know about her until she's awake, to keep him from grieving over her until she does. See to it personally Dragon, and keep as many people out of the loop as possible." he ordered him.

With his orders, Dragon bowed to the Hokage and Shunshined out of the room. With the last Anbu gone, Sarutobi decided to retire. He knew that later today it would become a shitstorm of meetings and dreaded paperwork. Best to get as much sleep beforehand as possible. ' I get out, AND THEY PULL ME BACK IN. If I'm around to see the next Hokage, I'm stapling his ass to the chair' Hiruzen thought sourly as he locked up his office. He may love the village, but this "till death do we part" crap was not what he had in mind when he signed up.

{With Rin}

Rin walked down the dark streets, with Naruto in hand, towards the address the Sandaime gave her, Naruto still sleeping quietly in her arms. Many people were still out, cleaning up the mess after the threat was gone.

Rin couldn't help but notice some people were glaring at the baby in her arms, much like Kakashi and the civilian council did. ' Do they know? But how' Rin thought to herself as she became uncomfortable under their glares.

Did Kakashi tell them, or did more shinobi see the sealing than just her Anbu squad? Worrying that someone might "attempt" to do more than just glare at him, she took too the rooftops. It would also keep them from knowing where he was living. Whoever told them, must have did so before the Sandaime's law went into affect.

Hopefully the law would be known before too many people found out about Naruto.

' Leave it to civilian gossip to blacklist someone who's only a day old' Rin thought humorlessly as she reached the address.

She jumped down in front of the house and looked at it up close. It was a two story cottage on the outskirts of the town with white siding and a fenced in yard. The ideal place to start a family.

' A family that would never be around to use it' Rin thought sadly. Not only a family, but two people she knew personally.

She started walking down the stone path towards the door as she thought of the two would-be parents. Jiraiya was Minato-sensei's mentor, so she had met him on many occasions, the latest ones of him gloating to Minato about how much of a ladykiller his son would be with his father's devilishly good looks, and then Minato-sensei reminding him that he had to get Tsunade wasted, knocked up, and kicked from one border of Fire Country to the opposite the next morning to "sweep a girl off her feet", and Jiraiya firing back saying he liked the hard to get ones.

Hard to get indeed.

Then there was Tsunade.

Rin would see her when she came into the hospital every so often to get a checkup on her pregnancy. As much as she harped about Jiraiya and all of his faults, you could tell she was just putting on a tough act and knew how much he cared for her. This was only proven when Tsunade started feeling completely drained everyday.

Jiraiya carried Tsunade bridal style into the hospital. Tsunade was red with embarrassment and complaining the whole time that she could walk, but did nothing to change the situation.

It was found out after a series of tests, that the baby wasn't just pulling nutrients from Tsunade's body, but chakra as well. His chakra network was already developing, something that wasn't seen in normal situation until 4 to 5 years old.

Both parents gawked at Rin as they processed what that meant. He was going to be a powerhouse, and most likely specialize in ninjutsu. To say Jiraiya was grinning like a madman would be an understatement. To say he was thinking of his son's possibilities a little too far would be a big understatement.

Tsunade humored him as he started talking about training him early, lightly cautioned him not to when he thought about raiding the Hokage Archives for more jutsu to teach him, and just whacked him over the head when he suggested putting a speaker to her womb and piping audio instructions for jutsu,

" That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" growled Tsunade, " I'm not going to have my stomach blow up from a fire jutsu just because you wanted to start him off early!".

Rin sweatdropped/

' She totally missed the fact he wouldn't understand what was being piped into the womb anyways' she thought, but knew better than to get into the argument.

Unfortunately, they never got to find out how their son would have grown up, and now they were both gone.

Minato-sensei was gone,

Kushina-chan was in a coma, and she didn't even want to see Kakashi after what he tried to do last night.

It was then she realized, she was alone right now.

With that reeling in her mind, she unlocked the front door.

" Ojama shimasu", she whispered to herself as she opened the door. What she found inside was a bit sad. New furniture, new carpets, new paint, and new appliances. The house looked hardly lived in. She supposed that was the case.

She knew Jiraiya bought the house only about a month and a half ago and only got done renovating a few weeks ago. She went into the kitchen and checked the refrigerator and cupboards. Only some old takeout and a few instant noodle cups were found until she opened the last cupboard. Baby formula and bottles. At least she wouldn't have to shop for the baby any time soon, just for her.

Apparently, Naruto must have woken up sometime during their exploration of the first floor. Unfortunately for Rin, her first indication was when a baby mouth clamped onto her breast, " Gyaah!" she shrieked and pulled him away causing him to start crying.

She sweatdropped and mentally berated herself ' Of course he's hungry ding dong. He hasn't eaten since he was born'.

She grabbed up some of the formula and a bottle and went to work. A little mess later and Naruto was happily suckling on a bottle. The lack of activity made Rin aware of how exhausted and dirty she felt. Once Naruto finish he started fussing again.

"Crap, what am I supposed to do now? Think, think, oh! I have to burp him." she said to herself and then lifting Naruto onto her shoulder. She started patting his back until she heard a little belch...and something sliding down the back of her shirt. " Definitely bed time" she deadpanned.

After trying to clumsily wipe the puke off her back, she grabbed up Naruto and headed for upstairs.

After looking through a few rooms, she found the baby's room. The room reflected the owners very well. The walls were blue, with imprints of happy looking slugs and frogs bordering the middle. Baby books were stacked on a shelf and baby toys were piled in a toy chest. She walked over to the crib to see it occupied by a large stuffed frog and a stuffed slug.

Where Tsunade found a plushy slug, Rin couldn't imagine. She set Naruto into the crib, who was too interested in the stuffed animals than going to sleep.

She figured he would go to sleep eventually and went to find the bathroom. A shower and a bed sounded really good right now.

When she opened the door for what she assumed was the bathroom, one thing went through her mind, 'Jackpot'.

The master bathroom was a sight for sore eyes. A tiled shower stall was sunken into the right wall along with the vanity, and along the left wall was a jacuzzi tub. Probably not fit for a lord but a major upgrade from the half bath back at her apartment.

She couldn't peel her clothes off fast enough.

She got both the tub and shower ready and jumped in to clean herself off. Blood, sweat, and dirt ran down the drain as she washed herself, Done, with the shower, she quickly jumped into the tub and practically melted as the hot water jets loosened the knotted muscles in her body.

As she relaxed in the tub, previous thoughts came back to her. With almost everyone she knew gone, she felt alone. She had never been able to make many friends being in Anbu for the last two of her 16 year old life. It didn't help that after Obito's death, she didn't socialize much. Maybe she could fix that now that she wasn't too busy with missions. This might actually be good for her.

With that in mind she rose out of the tub, to her body's protests, and dried herself off. Now that she didn't smell like death on a warm day anymore, she went to find the bedroom, not bothering to wear a towel.

What she found in the bedroom was a definite Jiraiya. A heart shaped bed with red satin sheets. She sweatdropped,

Did he really think Tsunade would have slept in this thing?

She shrugged it off and pulled back the sheets. Getting in, she found it really comfortable actually, alot better than her real bed.

' This mission is going to be nice and easy' she thought as she started to drift off, the same time as she started hearing Naruto wailing.

She cracked her eyes open ' Did I just jinx it?' she thought as she wearily got back out of the bed to check on him.

Entering his room and smelling something nasty, she came to a conclusion

' Yeah I jinxed it' as she picked him up to change him, putting him in range for him to grab one of her exposed breasts, " Ah".

?

This wasn't originally part of my mapped out story, but I figure it will make it a little thicker down the line.

Okay...ALOT thicker.


	5. We Three Genin

I don't own Naruto. Neither should it's current owner. Cause I'd do a better job.

October, 25th

[Three weeks into Rin's mission]

[Rin's assigned residence ( 10:34 a.m.)]

Rin looked at the infant in her arms, her eyes half lidded and ringed with dark circles from exhaustion. He was a demon! No, not that one...cause the Kyuubi's got nothing on this brat. The Kyuubi would just kill you. Naruto wasn't as merciful. This kid SLOWLY killed you by denying you sleep and stressing you out. When he wasn't hungry (which was almost never), he needed to be changed, when he didn't need to be changed, he was crying of fussing about something else. The house was a mess of scattered clothes, dishwear, blankets and food packages. The lawn looked like shit and was growing weeds that would make training ground 44 look like a garden patch. 'Kushina never would have survived this kid' Rin thought darkly.

Naruto woke up and clamped onto her cloth covered nipple...again. By now it was such a common occurrence that Rin put up with it for the simple reason that it kept him quiet for a while. That is until he found out, again, that he wasn't going to get anything out of it. He unlatched and started to cry. Her face sagged more, ' Just how much can this kid eat? I just fed him two hours ago!' she thought intensely as she struggled to get up from the living room couch and make her way to the kitchen. Before she could move too far though, she heard a knock on the door.

She looked at the door, more annoyed than curious , ' who would intentionally visit the "Demon Lair"' she thought dryly as she seethed at the name the villagers gave the house she and Naruto were staying in. She opened the door and was shocked at who was on the other side, " Inuzuka Rin! You move out of the compound not even a year ago and look at you now! A single mother after some one night fling you met in a two bit bar somewhere! What next, working at a strip club for drug money?" the person cried before bursting out in laughter. Rin was surprised, " Tsume! How did you know I was here?" she asked the Inuzuka Matriarch. Tsume crossed her arms and mock sobbed, " What? Was my adopted little sister trying to hide from me? I know I don't take many showers but I don't stink that bad do I? " she cried teasingly.

That's right. Rin was adopted by the Inuzuka clan when she was a child, by Tsume's father and the previous clan leader. He and Rin's father were teammates. Her mother died of pneumonia a year after her birth and when her father died during a border skirmish with Iwa, the Inuzuka leader took her in. Her cheek markings signified her as extended family not originally of the clan, but they would still stick by her as if she was blood kin. Though, even if she was adopted, the Inuzuka were surprised at how gentle and...well...gullible she could be at times, showing she hadn't picked up any Inuzuka traits...or picked up the worst of them, they couldn't figure out.

Rin smiled as best as she could at Tsume's antics. Seeing her little sister's exhaustion and the wiggling blond form in her arms, she decided to lay off the sibling talk, " I bugged the Hokage until he told me where you were. Wasn't too hard considering how much paperwork he's had to do in the last few weeks." she explained as Rin lead her into the house and both had a seat back in the living room. Tsume continued, " So, you're the one the Hokage suckered into raising the little Devil spawn huh?".

Rin peered at Tsume, " You're not agreeing with those moronic villagers are you?' she asked irritably. Tsume just waved her off nonchalantly, " Hell no, I don't think he's the Kyuubi Demon in baby form. BUT. I do know Kushina, and that that's her brat. And if he becomes anything like her when she was young... Oooh, add to that the fact that he has a giant chakra battery to suck off of, and you're going to have a real "malestrom" on your hands in a few months. Pun intended", she grinned at her little joke. Rin paled almost pure white, " A...few months?" she asked horrified. He was already one!

Tsume nodded knowingly, " Oh yeah, it's when they learn to crawl and explore that they run you rampant. Hana started by 5 months, and Kiba...Kiba's already looking at his crib bars funny at three months" Tsume said conspiratorially and then continued, " Right now, you only have to worry about crying for food and stuff". Rin was about ready to cry, " But he's does it almost constantly! Hell, a S class mission has never denied me of so much sleep. I haven't even gotten to keep the house up since I got here!", she whined, upsetting the baby.

Tsume picked him up off her lap and held him as she continued to talk to Rin, " Yeah, I kinda noticed when your lawn tried to attack me. This IS a B class mission right?", Tsume asked Rin. Rin quirked an eyebrow at Tsume, " Yes it is. Why?" she asked, sensing a solution comming up. " You get paid on a regular basis right?", Tsume asked another question, which Rin just nodded,

" So, hire a genin team to help around the house every now and then. Rin eyes widened and then narrowed a bit, " I thought they were all being sent on higher class missions?", she asked, not sure if D rank missions were even possible for the village right now.

Tsume's face softened a little bit. A little bit mind you, " A few of the teams were so malffed up from the Kyuubi attack, that they're in the village for now. Either their jonin instructors are dead or they're missing teammates. They managed to cannibalize some of the teams and make out three patchwork ones but with no senseis to lead them and alot of them still traumatized by the Kyuubi attack, the Hokage didn't want to risk sending them out of the village for a while. I'm sure the Hokage wouldAAH!" She yelped in surpise when she felt something bite her nipple and looked down to see Naruto lactched on.

Rin waved it off, " He does that all the time when he's hungry. Damn, that's right, I was about to feed him before you came", she said as Tsume gently pulled him off, making him fuss again, " Let me guess, sucks on the spigot but the tanks are dry eh Nee-chan?", Tsume poked fun at her sister.

Rin almost face faulted at the analogy, " Well sorry I didn't have a kid a few months ago!" She huffed at the snickering Tsume. " Well he's in luck today isn't he?", she said pulling up her shirt and bra. Naruto immediately snatched back on, knowing what to do, which caught Tsume by surprise, " Geez, either this kid is hungry as hell or he's a natural born pervert", she snickered and looked back at Rin, "Well here's your chance. Go get your cleaning team while I keep him busy.". Rin nodded and jumped on the chance to get out of the house for a while. She got out the door, fought off the yard, and made her way to the Hokage Tower.

[The Hokage Tower! 20 minutes later.]

The Hokage was sitting in the missions office...after a meeting...after another meeting...after two piles of paperwork were battled...after a bitchy council meeting. So in short, the missions office was quiet and less stressful than the rest of his duties. It's seems to be the closest thing to sleep he can remember getting in the last few days, he thought as he puffed on his pipe. The teams coming in for mission was expectedly limited. With most of them out of the village already, there were too few to take the missions that came in. And some weren't fit to leave the village.

His mind churned at what to do with the ragtag genin teams. D-rank missions were halted so they had no missions to do inside the village unless it was an insiede C-rank, which were a rarity. And with noone to train them, they were pretty much on standby with nothing to do. Hardly a healthy way to cope with post traumatic stress.

That was when Rin dragged herself into the missions office, looking like she just got into a fight with an ugly stick, and lost. Her hair was a mess, she had bags under her eyes which were bloodshot, and she held herself like she had been hit with a tranquilizer dart. The Hokage could only imagine that caring for Naruto must be a full time job, and that he probably looked the same way she did. " Rin-san. Good to see you out and about. How goes the mission?", he asked, knowing it was why she was here.

She sat down in a chair across the table from the Hokage and looked him in they eyes, then banged her head against the table, " The thrid shinobi war was easier Hokage-sama.", the Hokage cringed at the comparison. How hard could it be to take care of a baby? Rin carried on like she read his mind, " He has an inhuman appetite, bordering on that of a bottomless pit. Yet he has the energy of a 6 year old on a sugar high, and a set of lungs that are worse than any alarm clock I've ever heard. He's a full time job. Tsume's watching him right now, which brings me to why I'm here Hokage-sama", she said as she lifted her head and put on the most pleading face she could manage at the moment.

The Hokage was curious about what she was going to request. Someone else to take Naruto was his first guess. So he was relieved when she stated simply,"I need backup. I can't maintain the house and him. Both are a job and a half themselves. Is there anyway for me to get one of the genin teams to help me?" she asked pladingly. Sarutobi looked at her as the gears started turning in his head, formulating a solution to a thrid of a problem, " Ouch. Unfortunately, D-rank missions aren't being accepted at the moment Rin, all of our complete genin teams are taking up C-class and B-class missions." he stated,

Rin looked at him undefeated, " I heard that there are a couple teams that are on standby." She stated. The Hokage nodded, " There are, but most of them are still traumatized by the incident and are off the roster. To give them a mission I would have to put them back on and then they would have to fall under the guidelines of the current affairs, meaning they would be sent on C-ranks instead of D-ranks. Which they are not ready for.", he stated, lining her up for it. Rin look downcast at the idea of not getting any help, then the Hokage spoke up once again, " But, if you were to take responsibility for their recovery from their trauma, you could use the help you need as "therapy" for them.".

Rin perked up at that. ' Help them recover? And use the work around the house as therapy?' she thought as the Hokage continued. " It would also help them bond as a team since they are not the original. You would also have to help them physically train bacause after they've recovered, they'll be sent on C-ranks. I'm sure with three other sets of hands, it will be easier to care for Naruto as well while you do this. So to sum it up, you get the help you need, and they start to get back on their feet.". Rin nodded eagerly at the oportunity. It was a fair trade all in all.

Without much thought she agreed easily, " Alright Hokage-sama, I'll have them ready for C-ranked missions and them some. You can count on me", she proclaimed, almost bouncing with happiness...almost. She was still wiped. The Hokage had Rin sign the forms to release the team to her for recovery. The forms looked familiar, but then all forms looked familiar she guessed. Bureaucracy was never her forte. With the last form signed, the Hokage nodded to her, " I'll send them over tomorrow morning then. Good luck on your task Rin. Keep him safe.".

Rin bowed to the Hokage and left happily as she walked back to the house. Once Rin left, the Sandaime started to chuckle, which turned into maniacal laughter after a while " Damn, I am a genius!". Just then, the Anbu codenamed Inu came in, " Hokage-sama, the council is waiting for you". The Sandaime stopped mid laugh, "FAIL!" ha shouted as he threw one of the mission stamps at the Anbu, which slammed at increadible speed into he head, knocking him unconscious. " Never interupt me in my genious moments!" He groweled at the unconcious man with the word "FAILURE" imprinted in his forehead. He readjusted the collar of his Hokage robes, relit his pipe and walked over the man and out the door, ready to bust some heads.

[Rin's House 45 minutes later]

Rin returned to the house to see Tsume scrunching her nose at Naruto, and him scrunching his right back at her. It could be said that Tsume had a face that only a masochist could love, and going by some of the things Rin walked in on while she lived with Tsume back at the clan compound, that would be a very accurate description. She tried to mentally block off those memories again as she spoke up," What the heck are you doing Nee-san?". Tsume sheepishly scrathced her cheek after she set Naruto back in her lap, " It's just too cute when he does it. Isn't that right Naru-chan?" she asked as she picked him up and put his face in front of her, an opportunity he used to grab her nose ," Yeesh, gids godda grip ohn im doo" she stated in surprise as she pulled him off her nose. She looked back to Rin who was sweatdropping at the two, " So? How'd it go with the Hokage?".

Rin perked up a bit, " I got one of the ones that were on standby, but I couldn't do it as a mission. Instead, the Hokage wanted me to help with their mental rehabilitation and physical training so they're ready for C-ranked missions when they're done. He signed their recovery over to me so they can help with the house" she said happily. Tsume looked at her with the straightest face she could manage with all the willpower she could muster, " Oh, good to hear. Now you won't have to worry about keeping both the house, and Naruto in check. Well, I better get going back to the compound, y-you know how those idiots are if I'm not around to lead them. They might b-blow the whole thing up while I'm gone. Take care Nee-chan, d-don't get yourself into anymore trouble". With that Tsume got up and handed Naruto to Rin and waved to both of them as she closed the door behind her. Rin was too caught up in wondering why Tsume was stuttering to hear the faint sound of uncontrolable laughter comming from down the street.

She looked at Naruto who was looking right back at her as she held him in her arms, " Well, now that your fed and have been up for a while, how bout we take a nap?". He answered her by grabbing her nipple in his hand. She sweatdropped, " Ah".

[ Rin's House. Next Morning 9:03 a.m.]

Another restless night for poor Rin unfortunately. She was currently in the kitchen chugging as much coffee down as possible before the genin team showed up. Naruto kept himself occupied by staring at Rin, much to Rin's relief as much as her breasts. She stared at him in the baby basket as she mused if he was doing it for food, or if it was the beginnings of another pervert. She truly hoped for the prior. She didn't want to help grow another super pervert in Konoha. Jiraya was enough and he was hardly in the village.

As her thought process finished, she heard a faint knock on the door. 'Must be them' she figured as she walked towards the door. She opened it to see a sight she hoped she didn't see again. Three depressed looking genins looked back at her, their eyes almost lifeless. What hurt more was she knew two of them. Nanami and Hiroshi were there. It was the first time Rin had seen them in the light. Nanami was a short girl yet obviously athletic with a dark, healthy tan. She had brown eyes and unruly, shoulder legnth brown hair that she managed to tied back into two pigtails. She wore a tight black sleeveless vest that narrowed to her throat and wrapped around her her shoulders and arms to be covered by fishnet from her wrist to below her armpit. The same fishnet adorned her knees with a pair of biker shorts and close toed knee high boots to finish off her clothing.

Hiroshi was dressed more conservatively with just a grey jacket with numerous pockets and blue shinobi pants with blue sandals. Brown hair and bespectacled grey eyes were all that were visible.r

The last girl Rin had never seen before. She had long, curly black hair and very strange red eyes which would probably look exotic if it weren't for the lifeless hue at the moment. She wore a strange red and white dress that looked like it was made of bandages. Just a pair of blue sandals and the headband on her head finished off her ensemble. The one thing that had Rin concerned the most were the bags she spied all the genin carrying.

Nanami and Hiroshi were staring at Rin until it clicked where they had seen her before. They both lunged at the unsuspecting Jounin, wrapping their arms around her as she fell to the floor. "Arigatou Tanuki-san!" They both cried. Rin sweatdropped, ' They know who I am without my mask? How much does my cover suck?' she thought morbidly. " Nanami, Hiroshi! My name is Rin, so don't call me that when I'm not in Anbu uniform alright?", she whispered heatedly at them. They both looked up at her and nodded before getting off.

Rin lifted herself to a sitting position," You're welcome, by the way. So you guys are part of the genin team that I need to help, huh? And what's you're name?" she asked the unfamiliar genin. The girl crimson eyes moved to the ground as she fidgeted meekly. Hiroshi decided to cut in, " The Hokage told us her name is Kurenai, Rin-san". Rin looked over to Hiroshi," Can't she tell me that?". Hiroshi just shrugged, " She hasn't talked since we met her Rin-san. Hokage-sama said that's part of her problem.". Rin raised an eyebrow to this, ' Traumatized to the point of muteness? She must have seen something pretty horrible.' she thought grimly. " Well anyways, welcome to my house for now".

They all nodded and picked up their bags making Rin curious," Um, what are the bags for?", she asked the genin. Nanami decided to speak up this time, " Hokage-sama said we were to live here through the period Rin-san" she stated. Rin eyebrows shot up, "...eh? You are? But what about your families? Won't they miss you?".

Hiroshi and Nanami looked even more downtrodden, " Neither of us have families. Hiroshi and I came from the same orphanage, and joined the academy at the same time.

From what we can guess, Kurenai-san doesn't have any parents either.", Nanami told Rin in a depressed voice. Rin felt guilty for bringing it up, " O-oh. Gomen", she apologized softly, causing Hiroshi and Nanami to shake their heads, " No worries, it's not like we knew them anyways.", Hiroshi stated simply. Rin nodded and finally got back up and brushed herself off, " Well, I should invite you to your new home I guess. It's kind of a sty right now, which is what I was hoping you guys could help me with", Rin told the genin as they walked into the house.

Nanami found this odd to say the least, " How hard can it be to maintain a house Rin-san?", she asked. Rin turned around to regard her new charge, " Didn't the Hokage tell you the details of my mission?", she asked. All three genin shook their heads, " We didn't even know you were on a mission Rin-san", Hiroshi spoke up. 'Oh fucking great' Rin thought crassly, " Well I am, and now you are too. I'll show him to you", she said as she lead them to the kitchen. Nanami quirked her eyebrow, " Him?" she asked but got no response from Rin, who was paying attention to what looked like a baby basket on the table.

Rin turned around to face the genin with the basket next to her on the table. She pointed to it, " HE, is my mission", she stated. The genin came up to the table and craned their necks to look in the basket, turning white as they saw the whiskered blonde baby with his blue eyes staring at them. "GYAAAH!"," HOLY SHIT!, " GASP!", Nanami, Hiroshi, and Kurenai reacted as they found their way against the counter cabinets on the other side of the kitchen in the blink of an eye. Hiroshi pointed a shaky finger at the basket where Naruto was giggling happily at the funny new people," Th-th-that's the Kyuubi baby!", he shouted with a horrified look on his face.

Rin quirked an eyebrow at the genin, still next to the baby basket looking at the genin, 'Well, at least it's fear instead of hate. I can work with fear' she thought as she addressed the genin, " This is Uzumaki Naruto, the baby the Yondaime used to seal the Kyuubi, and my mission is to take care of him for the first year or so", she stated. Nanami was the next to speak," B-but he'll kill us!" she said, still looking fearfully at the basket, even as Rin picked up the wiggling infant," Oh? I've been taking care of him for three weeks and he hasn't killed me." she retorted. "B-but the villagers said-",

"The villagers? Since when did the villagers become so know knowledgable in the shinobi arts? Especially high level fuinjutsu. Don't believe the villagers, they're just a bunch of ignorant morons looking to put the blame on something." Rin cut Nanami off. " Do you know how it works?", Hiroshi asked skeptically. Rin shrugged, " A little bit. I'm not as much of a seal expert as Minato-sensei was but he did manage to cram a good amount of knowledge into me", she stated.

It was then Naruto got hungry and decided to clamp down onto Rin's breast, causing the genin to smash up against the cabinets again and point at Naruto with faces of terror, " Rin-san! He's trying to eat you!", Nanami and Hiroshi screamed, Kurenai just stood there looking back at the genin. RIn facepalmed," Bakas! Babies feed off of milk from the mother's breasts. How did you get through sex ed at the academy without knowing that?". Hiroshi sheepishly scratched his temple, " Um, I wasn't really listening, I...was...staring at the breasts in the picture and made a comment to Nanami and she got us in trouble".

Nanami, who was busy squeezing her small breasts, wondering how milk got out of them, finished what he left out, " You said I should take my top off so you could compare notes! The gut punch was worth sitting in the hall!" she stated heatedly, which started them bickering back and forth. Rin decided to wrap it up, " ANYWAYS, now that you know Naruto isn't going to kill you, posses you, or eat you, I'm going to feed him and then get you situated in.", she told the genin as she set Naruto back in the basket and went to make a bottle. As she was, the genin crept back up to the basket to look at Naruto.

He laid in his basket flailing his arms around and making usual baby noises until he made a particularly loud one that made the genin flinch. " Oh, for Kami's sake guys, he's not gonna lunge out at you", Rin said behind them, scaring them more than the baby did. Rin picked Naruto up and shoved him into Nanami's arms as she tried to stutter out a protest. Rin then handed her the bottle, " You guys are going to help feed him every now and then so you might as well start now..

Nanami, reluctantly, fed Naruto as the others watched on. Starting to accept the fact that he wasn't going to steal their souls any time soon, they visibly relaxed around the young blond infant. Nanami finished feeding Naruto and started to panic as he started fussing again, " Umm what do I do?". "You have to burp him. Put him against your shoulder and pat his back.", Rin supplied helpfully. Nanami put the baby to her shoulder and patted him, finally hearing a little burp...and something running down her shoulder! " What is that? getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!".

Rin who was chuckling at the familiar predicament, grabbed up some paper towels and walked over to the genin to wipe off the baby spitup," Relax, it's just milk and baby bile. Nothing serious. Alright. Now that that's taken care of, Iet's put him up for a nap and assign rooms.", Rin said as she took Naruto from the still green looking Nanami. With Naruto in tow, she led them up to the baby room and told them about the baby duties they would have to split between them.

With Naruto taking a nap, Rin addressed the genin as she walked into the bedroom she had been using, "There's only two rooms, so we'll have to split up the boys and girls. Umm, this is the room I've been using so I guess it will be the girl's room.", Rin stated sheepishly as the genin gawked incredulously at the heart shaped bed with red satin sheets. Kurenai flipped a switch to turn on the lights and, instead, romantic music started playing from hidden speakers and red discolight engulfed the room. Sweatdropping, Rin quickly shut the switch back off, " Yeah, the lights are this switch here", she stated embarrassingly as she switched on the lights, only to illuminate Hiroshi who was digging through the closet, " Hey guys, look!", he came out of the closet with a black leather hood on his head, " I'm a Mexican wrestler!", he stated as he struck a wrestler pose.

The two genin kunoichi turned their heads to peer at Rin as she was waving her arms at Hiroshi, " Take that off and put it back! You shouldn't be in other peoples stuff", she scolded none too effectively considering the full face blush she was wearing. Nanami pointed at Rin, " Hentai!" she proclaimed and Kurenai nodded. Rin sweatdropped and defended herself, " This isn't my house guys! I'm only using it for the mission! That stuff was here before I got here!", she tried reasoning with the two kunoichi. Nanami put her hands on her hips, " Oh really. Who owns it then?", she asked skeptically. " Jiraiya", Rin stated simply. Blinking a couple times, Nanami let out, " Oh" while Kurenai nodded with the same look of understanding. Rin sweatdropped again, ' Really? Even the genin know how perverted he is?' she thought before clearing her throat, " Anyways, since the bed is...well...big enough for three people, we can sleep here and Hiroshi get's the smaller bedroom".

Nanami spoke up again, " Actually Rin-san, I can sleep in Hiroshi's room and you and Kurenai can sleep in this room", she stated without so much as a blush. Rin eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, " Wh-what? You guys can't do that! You're too young!" she stated incredulously. Hiroshi who had finally gotten out of the closet, shrugged at Rin, " We've been sharing a room since the orphanage, so I don't see what's wrong with it.", he replied like it was no big deal. " But you're a boy and a girl! There's definitely something wrong with it!", Rin fired back, not convinced.

Nanami shook her head, " Rin-san, we've been changing in front of eachother since we were 6. It's nothing we haven't seen before", she replied casually. Hiroshi decided to add his two cents in with a devious smirk and a wag of his eyebrows, " Or mind seeing again!", he prodded fun at Nanami, earning him an elbow in the gut, which he took and kept laughing. Rin shook her head at their argument ' a childhood couple huh? Oh well'

" Alright fine. I won't separate you two lovebirds. If you want to share a room it's fine by me", she conceded, teasing them at the same time, which caused both genin to choke and blush. " Alright. Now that that's settled, grab your stuff and put it in your rooms, then meet me back downstairs. We have some cleanup to do.", Rin stated with a smirk.

A few minutes later, the genin were lined up in front of Rin. "Alright guys, as you can see, this place is a mess." Rin started taking her eyes off the genin and used her hand to direct their attention to the dirty house. She closed her eyes, imagining taking a nap, " I will be taking a nap as I haven't had much sleep the last three weeks. Before I give you guys your jobs, are there any questions?". " I have one sensei" Hiroshi spoke up. Rin came out of her little dreamworld and turned to the shinobi, " What is it Hiro..." her mind froze and she turned white as she looked at the genin.

" Why are there eyepatches on the floor?" He asked, a black lacy patch of material over his eye. " Hiroshi! That's my dirty underwear!" Rin screamed at the genin after her brain unfroze. Hiroshi's eye widened, " Really? It's just a patch of cloth and alot of string!", he said incredulously, pulling it off his head and looking at it. He then turned to Nanami, " Why don't you wear these?", he pouted, causing Nanami to turn beat red and stutter.

" Give me those!" Rin yelled snatching her dirty thong out of his hands. Hey, she may be a 17 year old, but she was a 17 year old dammit! She stared intensly at the cause of her headache," Hiroshi! Your job is to tame the yard!" she barked pointing at the door. Hiroshi saluted and got the hell outta there fast. " Nanami!" Rin started, throwing the thong in her hands at the girl who caught them with a horrified look, " You do laundry! Go!" Rin barked, causing Nanami to forget about the pair of underwear in her hands, " Hai! Gah!" she screamed after she saluted, flapping the thong right into her face. She ran off and started collecting the dirty laundry strewn out on the floor. Rin turned her attention to the last genin, " Kurenai. Clean the kitchen up." she told the genin more softly than the other two. Kurenai nodded and left to do the job.

With all the genin at work, Rin finally let out a sigh of relief and dropped onto the couch like a stone anchor. ' Time for a nap' she thought before hearing how Hiroshi was doing outside. "Good lawn. Nice lawn. Happy lawn. No wait bad lawn, bad bad lawn, stay away, GET AWAY FROM ME GAAAAAAHHH!". 'Definitely time for a nap' Rin thougt as she dozed off.

3 hours had passed since Rin had dozed off. It had to be the longest amount of time Rin had ever been able to sleep in the last month. She woke up to the sounds of a body hitting the floor in front of her. She cracked her eyes to see Hiroshi laying face first on the floor in front of her. "Lawn's dead" he said flattly to Rin as she moved off the couch. She cracked open the front door and looked outside to see the lawn with big bare patches scattered all around. " What the hell happened? Why are there bare spots everywhere?" she asked the half dead genin. He turned his head in her general direction, " That's because I had to deroot those monsters that were disguised as weeds. Grass seed would be a good purchase." he stated. A second later Rin was holding out ryo notes at the prostrate boy. He looked at her warily, " Now?". Rin just nodded.

Sighing, he tiredly drug himself back up. Grabbing the ryo notes, he headed out the door. Rin figured it would be a good time to see how the other genin were doing. She found the kitchen absolutely spotless, which astounded her. She would have complimented the girl, had Kurenai not been sitting at the table, staring at the empty middle of it with a clouded expression. ' She may be way outta my league. Shouldn't a therapist be helping her?' Rin thought as she looked at the girl. " Good job Kurenai-chan." she said aloud, shocking the girl out of her thoughts. " When Hiroshi comes back from the store, would you mind helping him with sowing the lawn?'. Kurenai just looked at her for a few moments before nodding and leaving to meet him when he got back. Rin sighed. Two down, one to go. She walked to the laundry room.

When she got there she found stacks of clean clothes...and Nanami sitting on top of the washing machine, during a spin cycle, with a glazed expression. Finally noticing Rin was in the room, she eeped and jumped off the washing machine with a furious blush, " U-um this i-is the last l-load...soI'mgonnahelpHiroshyBye!" Nanami jumbled while racing out of the laundry room. Rin was still staring at the washer. Finally curiosity got the best of her and she got on. Not feeling anything for a while until " Woah!" she quickly jumped off the machine. " Um, uh. Heh heh", she stuttered to herself before leaving the laundry room with flushed cheeks.

Rin, after readjusting her pants, figured she'd check to see how Naruto was doing before the genin got done. Going up to the the baby room, she did just that.

After she had changed out the massive load that Naruto had made, she went back downstairs with Naruto in tow, to find the genin, done with resowing and waiting for her. " Alright you guys, who knows how to cook?'. Only Hiroshi raised his hand, " I can Rin-san" he spouted. Nanami stared at him disbelievingly, " No you can't! The only thing you made in the orphanage kitchen was a fire!".

He shrugged like it was nothing, " I put it out". Now she looked at him dumbfounded, " YOU MADE IT WORSE!". To this Hiroshi just polished his fingernails while looking at her with smugness, " Worse? Or Better?". Nanami couldn't help but slap her forehead. Rin immediately came to a decision and pointed at Hiroshi, " You will not ever cook", causing his shoulders to slump. Rin sighed, " I guess I'll be the cook then. Nanami, Kruenai, you help me. Hiroshi, you set the table. Let's make some lunch" she said to them. All three nodded and got to work.

A while later, they were sitting down to Yakitori and Tsukemono on the side with green tea, while Naruto got baby formula. Everybody dove in after a hearty "Itadakimasu!". The genin were pleasantly surprised. Rin-san could cook! " Sugoi! This is better than anything I've ever had!" Nanami proclaimed, Hiroshin nodding in agreement as he shoveled the food into his mouth as fast as he could, while Kurenai just gave a nod and ate at a sedate pace. Rin smiled at the compliments. It wasn't everyday she got to cook for more than herself.

After the main meal was done, Rin decided to get to know her charges a little better. " Well guys, now that we have eaten, how about we fill eachother in more about ourselves." She suggested to the genin. Nanami aked, " Rin-san. Could you be more specific about what you want us to tell you?". Rin took on a thoughtful pose before speaking up again, " Well, your likes, dislikes, hobbies, goals. Also, considering I need to help you guys get back on your feet, your shinobi skills, what you need to work on, and more importantly, what the hell happened?", she described rather bluntly.

Hiroshi and Nanami slumped, knowing exactly what the last of her summary meant, while Kurenai seemed to shink in on herself. " I...guess I'll start then", Hiroshi volunteered reluctantly, " Well I'm Hiroshi. No last name. I like puzzles, geography, Tonkatsu, and my best friend Nanami-chan. I dislike Sashimi, prudes, and people who are full of themselves. My goal is to become an elite jounin. My skills are in strategy, kenjutsu, and traps. I don't know many ninjutsu, my taijutsu is average, and my genjutsu is next to none. Um...well...the reason Nanami-chan and I are here is...because our jonin sensei and third teammate were killed when a bunch of trees went down that night...and...we kinda have a few...problems...left over from that incident that happened". He dropped down to a mumble by the end but Rin knew exactly what incident they were talking about. Having a giant demon fox bear down on you like that would deffinitely leave you with problems. Rin looked to Nanami who was staring solemnly at the table. " Nanami, how about you next?", Rin asked gently.

Nanami looked up at her and nodded reluctantly, " My names just Nanami. I like exercise, swimming, Sukiyaki, and my best friend Hiroshi-kun. I dislike fangirls, people who are full of themselves and sushi. My goal is to become an expert in taijutsu and a jounin. My skills are taijutsu, short range ninjutsu, and a little genjutsu. I could use work on more genjutsu, some longer range ninjutsu, and I can always work on my taijutsu. I'm here because of the same reason as Hiroshi-kun.", she finished sedatedly.

Rin just nodded and looked to Kurenai. " Can you speak to us Kurenai-chan? Or don't you feel up to it?" she asked the red eyed genin. She just seemed to sink into her chair as she shook her head no. Hiroshi seemed to become thoughful before he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and hand it to Rin, ' Sandaime-sama said this was her basic information Rin-san". Rin unfolded it and read aloud, " Yuuhi Kurenai. Age 14. No living relatives. Specialty in genjutsu and tracking. weaknesses in taijutsu and ninjutsu. Sole surviving member of Team Himiko. Is all that correct Kurenai-chan?", she asked the teen.

Kurenai just nodded, her eyes staring past them all as if she was reliving the events in her mind. Rin nodded back and decided letting them know a little about her wouldn't hurt. " Well, I guess I should tell you about me as well. My names Inuzuka Rin. I'm not an Inuzuka by birth. You two already know I'm in Anbu as a medic-nin and used to be a part of Team Minato. I like reading, gardening and herbology, and Yakizakana. I don't like people who doubt Minato-sensei's work, arrogance, prejudism, and I'm not a big fan of beauracracy. I specialize in medical jutsu, and have have skills in taijutsu and defensive genjutsu. My real weak point is ninjutsu. Now aside from the mission, I have to get you back to snuff while you guys help me with watching the house and Naruto. Not only will I be helping you recover mentally, I will be physically preparing you for C-rank mission after your psych eval is clear, so I hope you brought your shinobi gear with you.", Rin finished, getting an unsure look from the genin towards the end of her rant.

"What wrong?" she asked the genin, looking at the hesitance in their expressions. Nanami decided to speak for them, " Um, they tooke away all our kunai and shuriken for standard suicide prevention", she stated glumly. Rin's frowned as she stated her thoughts on the idea, " That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You're shinobi for Kami's sake... If you really wanted to kill yourself you could just snap your own neck! Hell, they didn't even take your trap wire did they? It would be child's play to loop it around your neck and jump off of something, severing your he-"

" Rin-san! Arigatou, but please stop!" Nanami shouted at the morbidly rambling jounin while waving her hands in front of her to get her attention. Rin refocused on the genin to see them as white as ghosts. She sheepishly scatched her cheek, " Gomen guys. Sometimes I do that. Anyway we'll have to get you more shuriken and kunai now won't we? You obviously don't look suicidal to me so that ends now. We'll worry about that tomorrow. For now, let's get a few more parts of the house done before dinner. I'll keep Naruto in check and fix dinner. Hiroshi, I want you to work on the living room. Nanami, do the bathroom. Kurenai-chan, clean the halls and the bedrooms.", she ordered the genin, getting a nod from them before they moved out.

Rin sighed in contentment, before cleaning off the table. She stopped to look at Naruto who was just observing everything from his basket," What do you think of them Naru-chan?", she asked the lively infant. He just scrunched his face at her getting a chuckle from Rin, " True, to early to tell. Though I can already see some of their personality quirks.", she said to Naruto, more for herself than the infant.

[A few hours later]

Rin couldn't believe it. The house looked clean again. No dirt, no used diapers, no dirty clothes, no overflowing garbages. Clean! She could dance, but she was getting dinner on the table. The genin, finished with their duties, looked at the food like wolves. Hiroshi was looking at the food like a desert victim looked at water, " Is...is that Shabu-Shabu?", he asked, starting to tear up. Rin sweatdropped, " Uh, yeah it is GAH!", she yelped as both Nanami and Hiroshi latched on spouting praises. Rin always had a knack for cooking, but never really got to do alot of it when she was in Anbu.

Not to mention cooking for yourself was sort of depressing. So as much as the attention of the genins freaked her out, she deffinitely liked knowing people appreciated her cooking. " Um, your welcome. Sit down and eat guys cause this is all the beef I bought.", they didn't even wait for Rin to finish before divng in. Kurenai and Rin sat down and started eating at a more sedated pace, which didn't last for long trying to battle Nanami and Hiroshi for their share of the pot.

With bellies full, Rin spent the rest of the evening trying to appease the force that was Naruto, while the genin opted to watch...meaning they were forced to watch so they could do it later. Quicker than they thought possible, it was time for bed. Turns were taken in the two bathrooms and night time rituals were practiced before Nanami and Hiroshi went into one bedroom, while Rin and Kurenai went into the other.

Getting into a heart shaped bed with a 13 year old kunoichi proved to be extremely awkward, especially after turning off the lights and hearing a buzzing sound coming from the closet, which turned out to Rin's embarrassment to be a...female personal massaging device that Hiroshi must have accidentally turned on in his search. After that little bit of blushing, the two were finally able to settle in on the large bed, which let Rin think of the new twist in her situation.

She was now in charge of three traumatized genin and a baby with the most powerful bijuu in it's gut. Though, now that she thought of it, she hadn't seen much in the way of trauma in the genin. She figured she should just count herself lucky that they weren't as traumatized as it was made to look like they were.

[Nanami and Hiroshi's room]

Nanami was very comfortable, Hiroshi sleeping just inches away. They had been sharing the same bed since they were 8 so by now it was a norm for them. Hiroshi fell asleep like a log while Nanami listened to the crickets chirping outside on the summer night. Suddenly, they all seemed to stop chirping, and then the light from the window seemed to darken. Nanami grew stiff and started to turn towards the window. Her fear only worsened as she faced the window to see a giant demonic red eye staring back at her, whatever it belonged to starting to growl. Nanami's breath hitched in her throat before the creature let out a vicious roar, followed by the room bursting into flames.

[Rin and Kurenai's room]

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!", Rin heard a blood curdling scream from Nanami and Hiroshi's room. She shot out of bed and darted towards the room. When she opened the door, she found Nanami bawling her eyes out in Hiroshi's arms as he tried to comfort her. " What the hell happened?", Rin asked the only composed genin in the room. Hiroshi just said it straight, " Another nightmare. She's been having them for a few weeks now. She'll calm down after a while". Rin just nodded as her shoulders slumped ' Nightmares. So much for being lucky' she thought, wondering how she was going to fix this. Nanami just kept sobbing and mumbling incoherently. Rin also heard Naruto crying, meaning the scream must have woken him up.

She went to check on the infant, only pondering about why Nanami and Hiroshi were sleeping in one bed, a while after. The sobs seemed to die down and Naruto was back asleep so Rin went back to her room. She was met with the trembling Kurenai, and the occaisonal sniffle, meaning she must be crying as well. Rin't last thought was, ' This may be harder than I thought' she mused sadly. With that she got into bed next to Kurenai and tried to get her to sleep.

?

I haven't updated in a while. Why? Main computer decided to have a critical system error and I don't have the money to fix it. What am I writing on then? An Asus Netbook with a 13" monitor, usb receiver for a wireless keyboard and mouse, and a 1TB external hard drive. To say it looke like a person who has been " tied" into a machine would be an accurate description. Not to mention I kinda stumped myself near the end so it took a while to chisel it out. This one was a hell of alot bigger than previous chapters as well.

Anyways, I'll keep updating so don't get your panties in a twist. It might just take some time.


	6. Compensating for Shortcomings

I do not own Naruto. NARUTO OWNS YOU!

Another one churned out. Don't be surprised if they're a week or more between.

[Next day 8:00 am]

Rin let out a prolonged yawn as she sat at the kitchen table, looking at the still sleeping infant in his basket. Three yawns came from the other side of the tale. Rin lazily brought her sights onto the genin who got as much sleep as her. Last night was not the most peacful of sleep any of them have gotten. Nanami woke up screaming two more times, leaving Hiroshi to calm her down, Naruto woken up and crying, and Rin wide awake in her room. Kurenai didn't wake up screaming, but had just as many nightmares and expressed them physically with tossing and turning.

Rin dropped her head to the table ' I ask for help, and I get more problems' she thought darkly. Nanami spoke up, feeling she was the cause for all of their problems, " I-I'm really sorry guys. I...I know that thing is locked up but I keep having those nightmares.", spoke as she slowly shunk in on herself. Rin raised her head to look at the ashamed kunoichi before sighing, " I guess that's what I signed up to fix, so I should have known what I was getting myself into. Well gradually work on trying to get over your issues. In the meantime we'll also be doing physical training. Ah, that's right, first we need to go shopping for weapon replacements. We'll do that after breakfast.". Hiroshi perked up, " What's for breakfast Rin-san?", he asked excitedly. If yesterday's meals were anything to go by, it would be a dream come true.

Rin smirked, then got up and walked to a cupboard. She grabbed a box of cereal, walked back and set it firmly on the table in front of the wilting genin. Hiroshi pouted, " You want me to eat this peasant food after eating food made by a godess?" he asked incredulously. Rin chuckled, " You keep talking like that gaki, and I'll start thinking you're flirting with me". Hiroshi expression turned into a sly smirk, " If it gets me a better breakfast, I'll say anything you want". Rin rolled her eyes, " The day I start cooking breakfast is the day you three stop waking me up in the middle of the night and I finally get a full eight hours of sleep. Until then, you're eating peasant food in the morning. Now eat up, we have crap to do today" she left no room for argument.

An hour later, Rin had Naruto tucked into the basket and was walking through town with the three genin walking behind her. She had gotten out of her casual clothes and now wore her old jounin uniform. Not the baggy pieces of cloth she wore when she was a chunin. She wore a a black tubetop under a short sleeve mesh shirt and an olive green jacket over all of that. She wore light brown shorts that went to just above her knees, and sandal boots that ended half way up her shin.

In other words, Rin looked alot like an Inuzuka, yet with not as intimidating scowls. As the group progressed down the road, they quickly noticed the glares the small blond haired bundle in the basket was getting from the civilians around them, and knew why. The genins tried hiding themselves when they started hearing whispers of " demon lovers" and the like from the people around them. Rin, seeing the uneasiness in the genin and the whispers coming from the villagers, started leaking killing intent at the stupid morons. An unexpected person reacted to the killer intent and investigated, making himself visible to the group. " Rin? Why the hell are you venting so much KI at civilians?" the Dragon masked Anbu asked in a confused tone. Rin just put on a very ominously sweet smile, " Just preventing any incidents from a group of foolish people. What about you? They only put you on village patrol?".

Dragon chuckled humorlessly, " No. I'm just on the mandatory three day space between S-ranked missions. Pretty much a working holiday before getting thrown back into the viper pit...um" he notice the three genin poking their heads out from behind Rin, " I thought you were only looking over one kid. How'd you end up with three brats and a baby?", he asked the sweatdropping Jounin. A vein bulged on Nanami's head, " Oi! Who are you calling a brat?". Rin quickly nabbed the back of the girl's shirt as she lunged at the amused Anbu. As she was still swinging, Dragon walked up to the restrained genin and poked her nose, " Seems you got a yamaneko among them as wellWOAH!", he barely managed to remove his finger before she tried to bite it. " Don't you have anything better to do than harass my charges Dragon?", Rin asked flatly. Dragon just waved it off, " Not really. My shift is pretty much over so I was-"

Rin shoved the basket into his arms, " Good, you can accompany us and watch over Naruto for a bit". Dragon looked like he wanted to protest, but one look at Rin's disheveled state told him it would be like poking a beehive. His shoulders slumped and he started walking with the group whilst looking at the baby, " Doesn't look like the " evil creature" the rest of the village makes him out to be.". Rin snorted, " I'll let you change his diaper someti...wait, the whole village knows?" she asked with a shocked look. Dragon looked back to her, " Yeah, one of the civilian council members blabbed and got his head chopped off, but the damage was already done. Though, from what I've heard, one of the shinobi off the battlefield spread the news around before the Sandaime even made it law.", he told her. Rin brows furrowed in contemplation, " You don't think...Inu?", she asked as her expression darkened.

Dragon's seemed to as well, even with the mask, " Honestly Rin, with how he was acting, I wouldn't put it past him.". Rin could only shiver in disgust towards the thought of her ex teammate. Dragon was busy looking at the still simmering Nanami and the other two genin blatantly staring at them. He smirked under his mask, grabbed it, and took it off to flash his **Scary Face no Jutsu **at them. They all gasped in fear and put Rin between him and them as he put his mask back down. Rin chuckled, " You aren't supposed to show you face Dragon". He just replied in mirth, " I don't care, it was worth it. And if anybody wants to put that face in their bingo books more power to them". He then returned to paying attention to the baby basket he was holding.

10 minutes later they were at a weapons shop that Rin frequented. Before entering, she turned to Dragon, " Do you want to wait out here? I'm sure you don't want to argue with the owner about Naruto" she asked humbly. Dragon waved her off, " I haven't slept since yesterday" he stated. Rin looked at him puzzlingly, " Uh, what?" but he already walked into the store. Rin just shrugged it off and waved the genin into the store. She found Dragon in the store setting the baby basket on the counter in front of the store clerk. " Clerk-san. Look at this!" he ordered the confused clerk. The clerk paled when he saw what was in the basket and pointed, but was cut off before he could say a word, " Now look at me!" Dragon ordered.

The pale clerk looked back at the ominous looking Anbu, " Now look back at the baby!". The clerk looked back at the baby that was looking around and wriggling in the basket. " Now look at me" Dragon ordered again. The clerk looked back at the Anbu only to find his masked face four inches away from his own. Dragon quirked his head to the side, elliciting a stray crack from his neck, " Now, who seems more life threatening? Be honest now!" the seemingly psychotic Anbu asked.

The clerk pointed a shaky finger at the Anbu, " Y-you?". The Anbu went silent for what seemed like minutes, staring at the clerk, then threw his head back and laughed heartily before ruffling the clerks hair, " You're a smart guy. I like smart guys", he said before taking the basket and going back to the dumbfounded group, " Weren't you going to shop?".

Rin shook off her stupor, " Uh, yeah.", she turned to the still gawking genin and pulled out the stipened she generously got from the Hokage for training expenses and split it in three, " Alright guys, kunai and shuriken, at least three sets of each. Don't go blowing the rest on explosive tags". Hiroshi snapped out of his trance and nabbed his cut and darted off to look around at the rows of weapons. Nanami took hers and went off to keep an eye on Hiroshi.

Kurenai quietly took hers and went directly to where the kunai and shuriken sets were. Rin and Dragon just browsed the isles, " Maybe you should consider a weapon Rin.", Dragon said offhandedly while looking at a naginata. Rin just shook her head, " Don't need one. When you're a medic-nin like me, your hands are just as deadly as any weapon" she said back as she held her hand in front of her face in a karate chop form. Dragon looked thoughtful before nodding in understanding, " That huh? Nasty little technique I've had the fortune of NOT coming up against yet".

As they kept talking, another person strolled into the store casually before setting eyes on the two Anbu members walking out of an isle with a basket. Rin and Dragon stopped equally as fast, staring at their squad member Kakashi, the tension between the three was thick as fog. Kakashi turned his eyes to the basket and his gaze turned to ice. Rin's brow creased and her eyes narrowed, " You have something to say Kakashi?", she asked in a threatening tone.

He just shrugged off the threat with a condescending look, " No, I don't. In fact, I was just leaving." he spitefully replied before turning around and walking back out of the store. In their standoff, the two adults didn't noticed the genin came back when they felt the KI leaking from their caretaker, " Um, Rin-san, who was that?" Nanami asked cautiously. Rin realized how she looked to the genin and set them straight, " That was someone you shouldn't trust. If you see him anywhere by the house, or if he tries talking to you, tell me alright?". The genin noticed the seriousness in Rin's voice and nodded.

Rin nodded back in satisfaction and let loose a breath before eying Hiroshi's items. "What are those?" she asked pointing to two small rods with what appeared to be rubber grips. Hiroshi seemed to perk up " These?" he asked putting down his other items and holding one in each hand. With downward swings with both arms, the rods telescoped and tripled in length. Hiroshi grinned, " They're telescoping batons. Nice and heavy and a hell of alot cooler than those used tonfa I was using. I can even make hidden pockets in my sleeves to conceal them!", he shouted excitedly. ' Strange weapons for a shinobi' Rin thought, " I thought you said you were a kenjutsu user?". Hiroshi shrugged, " What else was I supposed to call it? Donkijutsu?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm. Rin sheepishly scratched her cheek while Dragon snatched on of the batons away from Hiroshi and tested it out. " It's not a clean kill weapon, but with it's weight, it would sure put someone in a world of hurt" he described to the genin as he handed it back.

Rin shrugged, " Well, it's not explosive tags, so I guess it works. Alright, pay for your stuff and meet me outside". Rin said as she took the basket from Dragon and both left the store, Dragon waving at the wary clerk. The genin came out of the store a few minutes later and the group made their way back to an unoccupied training ground, and Dragon left to finally sleep.

[Training Ground 16]

Rin set Naruto's basket under the shade of a tree and stretched to warm up. " All right guys, we'll start with a warm up. 5 laps around the field, then 50 jumping jacks, 50 pushups, 100 situps, and 100 crunches. Then after that, I wanna see what you guys can do" she stated plainly. Nanami nodded enthusiastically while Hiroshi and Kurenai paled.

An hour later, Nanami panted, content that she was finally able to exercise again, while Hiroshi and Kurenai gasped for air. Rin shook her head at the half dead genin, " Well shit guys, this was just a warmup. I don't know what your routine was before but it obviously sucked." she chided as she cooled down. After the genin caught their breath, Rin stood in front of them, " Alright guys, I want a grasp on your Genjutsu and Ninjutsu arsenal. Let's start with you Hiroshi", she said as she looked to the boy. Said boy scratched his nose as he replied embarrassingly, " I only know the mandatory 5 basics from the academy". Rin's eyebrows rose, " 5? I thought there was still 6 mandatory? Which ones do you know?". Hiroshi listed them off with his fingers, " **Shunshin no Jutsu **(Body Flicker),** Kawarimi no Jutsu **(Body Replacement),

**Nawanuke no Jutsu **( Rope Escape),** Bunshin no Jutsu **(Clone), and** Henge no Jutsu **(Transformation)". Rin could only pinch her nose in disappointment, " They removed the mandate from **Karuremino no Jutsu** ( Cloak of Invisibility)? What the hell is wrong with them? Lowering the standards in the academy will lead to canon fodder getting through and genin not being ready for their first C-rank.". Nanami decided to put in her own two cents, " At least it's still keeping out all the fan girls", she said with a shiver, which the rest of her team shared.

They all knew what fangirls equaled. Fangirls equaled very weak and useless kunoichi, which equaled dead fangirls, rape victims, or even dead squads. Rin hoped she'd never see the day fangirls started pouring into the ranks. Rin cleared her throat, " Anyways, how about you Nanami?" she asked looking at said girl. " Nanami seemed to cheer up from their earlier contemplations, " I know the basic academy 5, plus **Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu** ( Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique), plus **Doton: Doryuheki no Jutsu **( Earth Style: Earth Style Wall), and **Doton: Iwagakure no Jutsu **( Earth Style: Hidden among Rocks)" she finished with pride. Rin was surprised at the genin. She had a B rank defensive jutsu in her arsonal? " Can you show me the last two?", she asked the genin. Nanami nodded before going through three handsigns ending on dog, " **Doton: Doryuheki!"** She proclaimed before her cheeks bulged and she started spitting out large amounts of mud that turned into a large rock wall in front of her. Once it had totally solidified she clamped her hands into another sign before stading with her back against the stone wall and sinking/melding into it.

She then reappeared on the other side of the wall. Rin was impressed. For a taijutsu fighter, she had a solid grasp on Doton techniques and used a precise amount of chakra to boot. Rin figured her chakra control was precise since the girl had low reserves, which was confirmed as Nanami walked away from the wall and dropped to a sitting position while catching her breath. " I have to say Nanami. I'm impressed. Where did you learn those?" she asked the tired girl.

Nanami gave off a prideful smile which faltered a bit when asked where she got them, " Um, our old sensei figured I could incorporate them into my taijutsu and also play a defensive role for the group", she explained. Rin nodded approvingly, " Doton is one of the most deffensive affinities and can be a blessing when fighting particularly dangerous fighters. Me for example", she stated as the genin looked at her puzzlingly.

She lifted one hand in front of her and it stated emanating a bluish white aura around her hand, " This is called the **Chakra Scalpel**. It's a very useful technique for a medic nin like me because it allows me to do surgeries without even breaking the skin. It takes alot of practice but it can also be used for combat. Just by touching a certain part of the body, I can sever muscles, nerves, blood vessels, and damage internal organs without even leaving a scratch on your skin. Having a doton technique take a blow for you instead of blocking a strike, can mean the difference between life and death", she explained to the girl, who was now looking at her with awe. " That's as deadly as the Hyuuga clan's Juken! Can you teach me that Rin-san?", the young kunoichi asked with hope in her voice.

Rin sweatdropped from the intense admiration the girl was giving off, " Um, eheh. Only someone with medic training could use the technique correctly." she gently broke to the genin. Nanami deflated a little bit before a new determination entered her eyes, " Then I can become the squad's medic! Since I'm mainly a taijutsu fighter and the defensive position of the group, I could learn medical jutsu to fill another role!" the genin stated excitedly. Rin quirked an eyebrow at this. Usually medic-nins were dedicated healers and frowned upon filling multiple roles, since they were supposed to heal, not fight. Rin didn't want to shoot down the girl's enthusiasm but she had to know what she was getting into, " Being a medic takes alot of hard work and knowledge. Plus you may have excellent chakra control, but you have a low reserve, trying to fulfill three roles would be hell. Not to mention medic-nins are usually dedicated in their field." she explained to the kunoichi.

Nanami's determination never faltered as she smiled smugly, " Well that's what we're training for isn't it Rin-san? I just have to build my reserves along with my taijutsu. I can be...ummmmmm..AH...the team's multi-role field medic!" she stated like it was simple. Rin wanted to refuse but took a moment to think. ' I've never seen that much vigor in the girl. Maybe it will help her get over her problems, even if she doesn't make it all the way. And even if she didn't she would still be able to treat wounds. Konoha could always use more medically trained nins as well' Rin played the advantages through her head before nodding, " All right, but I want you to be able to name off every part of the body and be able to heal a person before I even teach you how to use the chakra scalpel. And I want your reserves tripled by that time as well, understood?" she commanded.

Nanami snapped to attention and slauted Rin, the excitement still in her eyes, " Hai Rin-sensei!". This caught Rin by surprise. She guessed she shouldn't be. She WAS teaching and training them, as temporary as it may be. " Anyways, now our unique situation", she said as she turned to Kurenai, who was looking particularly downtrodden. "Kurenai-chan, I want you to use the genjutsu that you know on me.", Rin said. Kurenai turned ashen at the thought of using genjutsu against her own sensei before Rin reassured her, " I'm a jounin Kurenai-chan, I WILL be able to get out of anything you can throw at me". Kurenai seemed to pout at Rin's " reassurances" before going through hand signs and glaring at Rin. The wind picked up for a second before Rin found herself in the training field alone.

Rin nodded to herself " **Magen: Nakoni Arazu no Jutsu** ( Demonic Illusion: False Surroundings Technique). A good foundation for a Genjutsu user. KAI!" She yelled, dispelling the genjutsu. Kurenai was a little surprised. Not that Rin got out of it, but that she could identify the genjutsu she used so easily. Feeling a little miffed, she immediately went through the handsigns for her other genjutsu. Ending on Ox, she burst into flower petals which attacked Rin. As Rin flailed around, the flower petals reformed into Kurenai, who had her arms wrapped around the waist of Rin-sen...a tanuki statue?

Her confusion faded when saw a flash come from beside her and looked to see Rin holding a camera with a toothy grin on her face, " That has to be the cutest thing I've ever seen Kure-chan!" the Jonin cooed, this time snapping a picture of the raven haired girl with clenched teeth, balled fists, and fire burning in her eyes. Of course Rin was trying to see if anger could get the kunoichi out of her impression of a monk. Apparently it didn't work as Kurenai stomped back over to the other two genin, who quickly stifled their giggles, and sat down in a huff.

Rin ceased her laughter, " Aww, don't be that way Kurenai-chan. I'm actually very impressed. I haven't seen that Genjutsu used in a while. **Genjutsu: Hanachiri Nuko **( Genjutsu: Flower Petal Escape) am I correct?" she asked the cooling genin. With a cute little pout she nodded her head. " You know Kurenai, it would have been stronger if you would have been able to proclaim the jutsu" Rin stated, hoping the genin would try quicker to talk. Hiroshi looked thoughtful at Rin's last words, " Rin-sensei, why is it that some jutsus require handseals and announcements and some don't?" he asked curiously.

Rin happily answered the question, " That is a very good question Hiroshi-kun. And the answer is chakra memory." she said to the still puzzled genin. Rin went into lecture mode, " Chakra is made of physical and mental energies, as everybody knows. What many younger ninja don't know, is that their chakra networks and the chakra within retains physical and mental traits. In layman's terms, your chakra can remember a jutsu if you use it enough making you able to shorten the sign sequence, forgoe the pronunciations, or possibly both" she stated, looking at the awed genin, " BUT. This depends on how MUCH chakra, or precision the jutsu takes. Smaller jutsus like the Shunshin can be done without any signs or announcements, depending on the length of distance, in a matter of months. Bigger jutsus, like Nanami's Doryuheki, can take years of use before you can start shortening the sequences, but it just depends on how much you do, or are able to, use it. Genjutsu don't require alot of chakra, but alot more precision than ninjutsu. The chakra memory has to be near perfect before the genjutsu can be unannounced and still stick, and absolutely perfect before you can use one hand sign and no announcement and have it work flawlessly. Kurenai could use it with no announcement, but had to use all the hand signs, and still it was not in tip-top form. She has only been working on it for a year, year and a half now. Forgoing the verbal announcements is one of the harder ways to shorten and conceal a jutsu after all.".

Nanami looked puzzled, " If we have hand signs, why do we need the announcement?" she asked Rin. " Hand signs and announcements are one in the same, they are both physical and mental expressions. You use your brain and hands to make the signs, and you use your brain and mouth to say the words, appealing to both natures of your chakra to mold it into the jutsu you are thinking and expressing. The reason both are needed at first is because one action, handsigns, primes the jutsu, and the other action, announcement, discharges the jutsu. Gaining experience, causes chakra memory to come into play, making less physical expression needed and just the mental aspect, meaning fewer handsigns will prime the jutsu, and thinking the name of the jutsu will discharge it. This kinda stuff takes lots of experience as said before". Hiroshi looked like a lightbulb went off in his head, " Which is why Nanami can use **Iwagakure no Jutsu** without announcing it. Because she uses it alot, and it doesn't take alot of chakra?". Rin nodded to the boy before quirking an eyeborw suddenly, " She uses it alot?", she asked curiously. Hiroshi nodded vigorously, " Yup. Heck, the day she finally got it down, we had to watch her at a quarry pop into one rock and out another at a quarry for 4 hours before sensei finally caught her and dragged her back to practiceITAI!" he yelped as Nanami swatted him in the back of the head while sporting an embarrassed blush. Nanami seemed to have another question as well.

"Wh-what about the Hyuuga clan's Kaiten, and the Yondaime's Rasengan? They didn't need seals but they still announce them. Rin was ready to answer the question right after the genin finished, " Those techniques are all chakra control and chakra manipulation. They're just taking raw chakra and forming it into a jutsu. Since it's just chakra, they don't need seals to turn it into a fire jutsu or something like that, and I don't think they really need to announce them either. I think they announce it as a sort of pride or respect for it considering it takes alot of hard work for a pure chakra manipulation jutsu. And since it's already formed, there's no harm in shouting it out I guess." Rin said as she shrugged. The genin seemed satisfied with the answer, " So now what Rin-sensei?" asked Nanami. " Now, taijutsu practice" she said with a crooked smirk. Nanami perked up...while Hiroshi and Kurenai slumped down.

An hour and three bruised genin later, she had a good grasp on their taijutsu. Nanami's was surprisingly good for a rookie genin, while Hiroshi and Kurenai were so average, they got the average looking award for being so fucking average. 'It was to be expected' Rin thought as she fed Naruto under a tree. One was a...donkijutsu...user, and the other was an aspiring genjutsu mistress. Taijutsu wouldn't be among their stong points or their biggest concerns. Hiroshi would only have to worry about taijutsu if the enemy got his weapons out of his hands, which was why weapon users are told to NEVER EVER let go of their weapons. It was the key rule of a weapon user, with the second being, " When in doubt, aim for the crotch". She still didn't know why the hell that was a rule at all, let alone being the SECOND one. Nandemo

Kurenai would only have to worry about taijutsu if her genjutsu failed her, and even then would probably retreat instead of fight hand to hand. Genjutsu users tend to be lightweights on the field and not the most physical of people, so no surprise that Kurenai would fall in with the category. While the average taijutsu could be overlooked, it presented Rin with clear problems. While she had one or two genjutsu she could teach Kurenai, and possibly help her with stealth, she had nothing else that she could think of to teach her. Possibly some first aid jutsu? She did have the chakra control for it.

Nanami would be the easiest to train because she was adamant about learning medic jutsu and the chakra scalpel, meaning Rin could reform her taijutsu to compliment the technique like hers did. So all in all she had her whole library of medical knowledge and combat form she could teach the girl.

But

Then there was Hiroshi. Rin had no experience with kenjutsu or donkijutsu or whatever the hell it was. He was a trap user, a strategist, and a baton twirler. None of them Rin could give any advice or training on. It showed how narrow her expertise and skills actually were. She'd would make a horrible jounin sensei if she ever lead a genin team. She only had a few ninjutsu outside of what USED to be the basics, a couple genjutsu, specialized taijutsu, and just enough of the rest to get to jounin and Anbu.

Rin seemed to reflect on herself and her career option in a not so majestic light.

As a medic nin, she was always told that you were a medic first and foremost and to leave the fighting to your teammates so you have chakra to heal them. Dodge, defend yourself, and heal. That was your job. Rin was quickly deciding it had to be the worst idea anybody thought of. Rin thought she could finally see the flaw the Sandaime saw decades ago in Tsunade's idea of having a dedicated medic nin on every four person cell, in the regards that, while the medic nin may be able to heal his or her teammates, and be able to deffend themselves, it would cut the attacking force down to three, or even two. It creates a weak link in the team, someone not trained to their full potential. Like what happened the day... Obito died...maybe if she had been a combatant first, and a medic nin second...

She looked at Nanami, who had just got done thoroughly handing Hiroshi his ass ' Not a medic nin, a "multi role field medic"? Huh. Maybe the genin aren't the only people that need training' she mused deeply before setting her attention back on the genin, putting a smile on her face " Good work guys. Now I have a good grasp of your skills. In the next few days, I'll be setting up your individual training. Until then, we'll work on general physical training, chakra control, and teamwork building. Can you all do tree climbing?" Rin asked, eliciting a nod from all the genin. " Good. We're going to play treetop tag...(grumble)...eheh...after we have lunch" she finished in mild embarrassment to her own stomach grumbling. With that, the group got up and went to look for a restaurant

[The next day, 11am]

Rin was heading towards the Hokage Tower. She needed to see the Hokage about getting into the archives, and finding someone to help her train them. Fortunately or unfortunately, Tsume came over to visit so she left Naruto and the genin in her care. She reached the tower and anounced her wish to see the Hokage to the receptionist. Anbu and jounins usually got right in but he was already in a meeting. Rin nodded and sat down to wait, reflecting on her findings yesterday afternoon. They were a good team. Their teamwork and coordination could use a little tuning, but considering it was their first exercise as a team was surprising. Hiroshi's boasts about being a strategist and a trap user were not overzealous

. The kid had a good grasp on churning out plans, setting traps to capture or drive an opponent, and use of the terrain to get the team advantage. He had spent most of his childhood with Nanami, and easily incorporated Kurenai into his plans. Nanami's use of Iwagakure no Jutsu had almost caught Rin a couple times, and the girl's physical stamina was nothing to scoff at either. Kurenai may not have the physical advantage of Nanami, or the strategic mind of Hiroshi, but she was clever, tenacious, and resourceful. She used her genjutsu, ones that Rin identified easily only hours before, and used them in ways that made them not so easily seen or evaded for that matter. Layering a genjutsu over herself in a trap laden area was one trick. Hiding regular clones under genjutsu and popping out of branch of leaves close to it was another.

Those first few rounds were a bit catchy for Rin, the next few were very close calls, and she was using HALF of her actual abilities. HALF! While Rin could surely say if she were to take on a genin team full time, she'd want a team just like them, it showed glaring problems in her own training. Half her abilities should keep a squad of chunin on their toes, not genin. Her attention went to previous thoughts about being a medic-nin and she decided that she needed to build up her skills along with her three charges.

The secretary brought Rin out of her thoughts, " Rin-san. The Hokage will see you now". Rin nodded to the secretary and made her way towards the Hokage office, accidentally bumping into a chunin that easily a head taller than her. " Ah, gomen. I wasn't watching where I was going Miss..."

Rin collected herself and looked at the familiar looking chunin with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, " Uh, Rin. Inuzuka Rin. And you are?". The chunin smirked, "Sarutobi Asuma. Well Rin-san, I guess you're here to see pops, so I won't keep you...for now", he replied with a chuckle and went through the secretary office doors. Rin stared at the doors with a dumbfounded expression. ' Did he just hit on me?' Rin asked herself. That hasn't happened since Obito. Rin shook off her stupor and made her way to the Hokage.

Hiruzen had just gotten done with a meeting with his son Asuma. Well, it was less of a meeting and more of the same arguing they have done since he became a chunin. Differences in opinions, his role as shinobi, and more lately, the "pain in the ass" missions he was receiving. " What the hell happened to the little kid that used to jump around asking for a new jutsu?" he asked retrospectively. Sensing his next question of the day approaching his door he reschooled his features. When the door opened, he was surprised to see Rin there.

He had only seen her a few days ago, so what could have happened in that time? Had she stumbled upon his genious? " Rin-chan. I'm surprised to see you this quickly. Is there something wrong?", he asked as she sat in the chair across from his desk. Rin looked nervous, " Umm, no and yes Hokage-sama. It seems like their emotional problems can be overcome given time, even if they are keeping me up at night right now, and they're a great help around the house. It's their training that has me worried".

The Sandaime quirked an eyebrow, " Anything I can help with?," he asked cautiously. " Well, I need someone to train Hiroshi, Um, he uses batons as a weapon, and is the strategist of the group. I could also use four pieces of chakra paper and, access to the tower archives", she stated. Hiruzen saw a puzzle in the requests, " Why do you need access to the archives? And you said four pieces of chakra paper. Who's the other one for?" he asked. Rin scrated her cheek, " Um, the other piece...is...for me, so I can find some jutsus and techniques to learn". Now the Professor was intrigued, " If I remember correctly Rin, you're a medic-nin. Why would you need to learn ninjutsu?", he asked, genuinely interested in her explanation. Rin's expression seemed to project recent revalations, " Um first, could you answer a question for me Hokage-sama?".

"I'll try if I'm able" the wizened leader answered. Rin seemed to take a few moments to form her question, " During...during the Third Shinobi War, when Tsunade-sama proposed putting a medic-nin on every team. What was your reason for turning down the idea?", she asked, looking like she already knew the real answer. Sarutobi sighed as he picked up his packed pipe and lit it, puffing it before answering, " Tsunade was still emotionally devastated from her brother's death when she brought up that proposal, and would not listen to reason. Having a dedicated medic-nin on each team would bring the fighting force down to three, against a full four man combat force, it potentially could lead to more fatalities than could be saved, had we implemented that proposal. And I have a feeling you already knew that, and plays a role in why you are here now.", the Sandaime stated to the sheepish jounin.

" M-mana. I've found out how narrow my skills are when trying to train my charges. Hiroshi I can't help with any of his skills, and Kurenai I can only teach a few genjutsu and that's about it. Nanami is really the only one I can really give thorough instruction to, and that's because she wants to learn medical jutsu and pick up my chakra scalpel, and the taijutsu for it. She already plays the role of defense on the team and she figures she can be the team's " multi-role field medic". I think she can do it. But it still leaves the other two". she replied, feeling a little frustration. Hiruzen grinned, " So you want someone to help teach the other two. And you want to train yourself to be more than just a medic-nin because your skills are limited and want to fill a bigger role." he summarized her explanation.

" That about sums it up Hokage-sama" she agreed with her leader's summary. Hiruzen nodded before thinking deeply, " Batons and strategy...". A devious smirk grew on his face, " I may be able to help you Rin-chan. He might not be available all the time, but I'm sure you could scrounge up some other people to help you as well" he said with what sounded like a hint in his voice. " You might want to try teaching other things that compliment their specialties as well. After all, not all training is physical" he stated as he grabbed four pieces of paper out of his desk. Rin looked incredulous, " You have chakra paper in your desk? What else do you have in there?". The old Hokage's eyes went wide as he slowly waved his hands in front of himself, " It would boggle your mind... Anyways, I'll call ahead to the archive room and tell them that you're coming. Keep anything you copy safe. Good luck" he said as Rin got up to leave. She bowed, " Thank you Hokage-sama, it means alot to me" she said as she rose and left.

After she did, the Sandaime's attitude did a 180 as he rubbed his hands together deviously. " Yes, I have the perfect gaki to help. Payback's a bitch Musuko" .

A few blocks away, a cigarette smoking chunin felt like he should argue with his father over something, but he didn't know what. He shrugged and walked off.

?

Jesus, this was a boring chapter even to type. But I felt it integral to the story. Speaking of the story. This fucker is going to be HUGE. I won't lie to you, these first chapters are a story within a story. It will start jumping months though, just give it time. Oh, and if you're wondering, yes, the timeline is going to skew. Couples, events, and people will be affected.


	7. Smoking Monkeys and Plotting Mummies

[Hokage Tower Archives]

Rin sighed as she looked at the charred piece of paper between her fingers. ' Katon huh? Once of the most offensive elements out there. Not very appealing for a defensive position in a squad...well...maybe not totally unappealing' she continued to think to herself as she sat in the archives. Katon was the second most enduring nature to throw at someone, the first being Doton. While wind, lightning, and water dispersed, fire tends to stay around until the chakra is depleted, or even cause secondary fires. Enemies aren't very willing to walk through a wall of fire to attack a retreating squad. Maybe it was a good thing after all.

She got up and started browsing the sections for fire jutsu. Considering this was the country of fire, there weren't as many in the archives as one would think. This was due to the fact that most of the more exotic and high power ones belonged solely to the Uchiha, and considering their attitudes towards the rest of the village, it was obvious they weren't keen on sharing anytime soon. This left only the very common ones and the ones that people like The Professor himself have invented, to be in the archive. She came upon **G****ōkakyū no Jutsu****, **' Way to common, to slow, and not large enough".

**H****ōsenka no Jutsu****, **" Just takes the grand fireball and makes it alot of weaker versions. Though, it would be good as a distraction...' she thought compromisingly as she continued on. She came across 4 other jutsus that were even lower in rank and usefulness, causing her to grind her teeth in frustration until she came across two scrolls that made her stop dead in her tracks. " **Katon: Tepp****ō****mizu** (Fire Release: Flash Flood)**? Katon: Kary****ū Endan**( Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Missile)**?**" she asked herself.

She took them over to a desk and started reading. A grin formed on her face. They were both B ranked techniques, fast, and a wide area of effect. They were perfect. She started copying the instructions into another scroll. Once she finished, she started searching for more things that could help her. After all, she wanted to at least try to play a part in some of their development.

[ Next Morning October 29th: Near Rin's Temporary Residence]

Asuma trodded down the street towards the destination his father gave him after the two argued for a half an hour. Apparently, his father's idea of a joke was to take him off missions completely and tell him to help a Jounin train some genin. ' Why the hell can't they train their team themself? This is why I could never see myself taking on a genin squad. Too much damn work.' thought the blunt chunin as he stuck a cigarette between his teeth and fumbled around for his lighter. Before he could even light it, he found himself at the address he was told. He looked at the homey little two story house and had one thought, '...what the hell is a genin team doing here?' as he walked up to the door and knocked. The door opened and an intimidating woman with a baby attached to her exposed breast. The obviously Inuzuka woman looked him up and down with a predatory grin, " And what can I do for you?". Asuma was a little uncomfortable under her gaze, " Uh, Hokage-sama sent me" he responded.

Tsume grinned at the ammo he just gave her, " Bout damn time he sent the stripper, well get in her and start shaking that chiseled ass" she said happily. Asuma sweatdropped.

" Um, no, I'm here to help train the genin" he stated. Tsume put on a shocked face, " Train them to be strippers? They're a little young don't you think?" she asked incredulously. Asuma was starting to get annoyed

" No. To train them in combat" he replied. Tsume put on an incredulous look, " Combat? Just what kind of strip club are you sending them to?". A vein popped up on Asuma's head as he hissed through his teeth, " I'm not sending them to a strip club!". This just fueled Tsume to go on.

" So you're sending them to a bordello? I'd think combat would be one of the lesser things to teach them in that case!" she stated exasperatingly. Asuma just slapped his hand to his forhead in frustration. " No! I'm not sending them to a bordello!". Tsume's face lit up in mock realization, " Then it must be an S&M club! Now I can see where the combat training comes in handy!", shej said with a sagelike nod of understanding.

Asuma gritted his teeth just a little too hard, and the cigarette filter between his teeth was cut in half, " No! I. am. training .them. in. combat. for. missions!", he hissed through clenched teeth. Tsume put her free arm on his shoulder, " You looked stressed Stripper-san. How about I lay down and you give me a massage to make the tension go away. But I should warn you, no happy ending. I'm a married woman after all" she harassed the chunin. By this time Asuma looked ready to blow a gasket. Then Rin's voice came from the kitchen.

" Who are you talking to Nee-san?" she hollered to the front door. Tsume turned around to answer her, " Some hunk of a stripper came to conscript your genin into his S&M escort service!". She smiled sadistically as she heard crashes from the kitchen, and behind her. " What?" both Asuma and Rin shouted. Rin marched to the door when she started hearing Tsume laughing her head off and saw the chuunin that was hitting on her yesterday as well. " Tsume! That was horrible! You knocked all three of them out cold!" she scolded. Asuma started calming down, " So I take it YOUR their sensei?" he stated more than asked.

Rin nodded, " Temporary sensei anyways. I take it you're the one Hokage-sama sent to help?" she asked, getting a nod from the visibly relaxed chunin, who then looked from the revealed clan head Tsume, to Rin, than back to Tsume. He opened his mouth but Rin cut him to the chase, " Adopted" she stated simply, gaining a nod of deep understanding from the young Sarutobi. Tsume pouted, " You both act like that's a good thing" she huffed. Rin and Asuma sweatdropped.

" Anyways, now that you're here, I guess I should rouse the genin-"

"Ooh baby!"

"Tsume!" Rin snapped

Tsume waved it off, " Alright alright. I see you want to have some fun with your gigolo, so..." She pulled Naruto off of her nipple with an audible pop, leaving her breast exposed "..here you go Nee-chan" she said handing off Naruto to Rin, " I have to get going anyw...are you getting a good view?" she asked the chuunin who got caught gawking, who immediately turned his head with a blush, " Sheesh kid, you act just like your old man. You're lucky, next time I'm gonna charge ya to see 'em" she harassed Asuma before tucking her breast back in and waving to her sister as she left, " Don't do anything I wouldn't do Sis". A vein popped on Rin's head, " That's an awfully short list!" she shouted at the retreating woman, who was now laughing her head off.

Asuma finally came out of his prior stupor, " You're sister is really..."

"Yeah" She replied before he finished.

" Are all the Inuzu.."

" Pretty much"

"...When she said charge me, did she really..."

" You have no idea" She replied with a slump of her shoulders. Asuma just stood there frozen in his thoughts before shaking his head and bringing his attention back to Rin and the...Kyuubi vessel? " So you're the kunoichi Pops suckered into raising him." he stated with a look of understanding, until he took on a puzzled look, " Then what the hell are you doing with a genin team?" he asked.

Rin breathed a deep sigh, " A story worth sitting down for. C'mon, I have to bring the genin back to consciousness" she said as she waved him in with her free hand.

[Half an hour later]

Asuma couldn't help but chuckle at the predicament Rin was in. First, raising a controversial baby, then rehabbing a genin team for the free labor. " I have to ask Rin-san, what are you going to get stuck with next?" he asked humorously while sticking a cigarette in his mouth which was quickly nabbed out by Rin, " Obviously a chain smoking, perverted chunin." she fired back at a sheepish Sarutobi before crushing the cigarette, " These things will kill you." she chided. Asuma chuckled, " If I'm lucky. What's the average lifespan of a shinobi again?" he asked. Rin slightly grimaced before answering, " 21" .

Asuma nodded, " If it get's to 40, I'll think about giving it up. Anyways, the genin?" he directed towards the now fully conscious trio picking themselves up from around the kitchen table. " Right..." she started as she pointed at the two girls, " Nanami I will be teaching the most. She's taking a path right down my avenue of expertise. Kurenai is..."

" A genjutsu specialist" Asuma supplied as he finally fixated a look at Kurenai. Rin gave him a raised eyebrow, which caused him to supply an answer, " Same crop of graduates". Rin nodded, " Saves me the trouble. I can teach her a few things, I was hoping you could help with her physical attributes a bit. Hiroshi..." she started, pointing at the male member of the team, "...is the one I need help with the most. He's a strategist, trap user, and..." she looked back at the genin, who was concentrating hard on what she said next, before continuing, " *sigh*... donkijutsu user" she finished, Hiroshi smiling like a cheshire cat. Asuma quirked an eyebrow, " Blunt weapons?".

Rin nodded, " Batons, to be more precise" she said as she nodded to Hiroshi, who was more than happy to show him. He dropped his arms to his sides and pulled two strings that were hanging out of the oversized sleeves of his coat. Two snaps could be heard and then to falling items could be seen falling down the sleeves until they rested in Hiroshi's hands which he then brought his hands in front of himself and swung out, telescoping the batons.

Asuma chuckled, " I'll give you a ten for the bitchin' draw, but it's going to take some definite jury rigging work to try and make a style for them. It's not exactly a tonfa and it's not a knife, but it would take moves and strikes from both. Traps is all experience, physics, and creativity. And strategy, well, could always do what Pops did and teach him shogi or chinese checkers, depending on what type of strategist he is. Does he have a Fuuton affinity?" Asuma asked.

Rin blinked before remembering the chakra paper. She went to the bag she used at the Archives and pulled out the three sheets beofre giving them to the genin. " Channel your chakra into those". Nanami started first. The paper dried up an crumpled. " Doton. Pretty obvious considering your knack for Doton jutsus" Rin stated to Nanami.

She then smelled something burning. She looked to Kurenai, who's paper was on fire. Kurenai quickly flipped the piece of paper until it was out as Rin spoke, " Katon...Are you sure you're not a relative of the Uchiha?" she asked, taking the girl into perspective. Kurenai just shrugged and Rin shook her head. " Um, Rin-sensei. What does this mean?" asked Hiroshi. Rin looked to him just to slump her shoulders at the crinkled piece of paper, " Raiton. It means you have the rarest affinity in Konoha Hiroshi, and the direct opposite of the one Asuma was hoping for" she stated disappointingly.

By this time Asuma had walked up to the genin, " Yeah, I don't have a clue about that element. I don't even know if Pops has enough knowledge on it to help. Do you know any Rin-san?' he asked the cringing Jounin. " Only one. My old teammate, and I don't want any of my group within a city block of him for the moment". Asuma looked surprised, " You mean Kakashi right? Something happen?".

Rin pointed to Naruto who she had put back in his basket," He tried to kill him, and we think he's responsible for spilling the beans to most of the village." she stated with anger in her voice. "Ah... Yeah, doesn't sound like an ideal solution. It looks like we either skip it, or try to find enough materials to let himself learn it. If he did, then he could apply it to his batons during a fight" he finished as he turned to Hiroshi, who was wide eyed and contemplating. " Shock batons?" Hiroshi asked Asuma, who nodded. Hiroshi was rubbing his hands together and chukling darkly, much to the dismay of the females in the room. "Boys and toys" Rin sighed out in annoyance.

Asuma cleared his throat, " Anyways, we should probably continue this out in the training fields. Some more sun could do you guys some good. Especially you Rin-san You're starting to look like a Geisha, and you're not even wearing the makeup" he prodded fun at the annoyed Jounin. " That's Rin-sempai to you Chunin Asuma." She huffed. Asuma waved it off as he lit a cigarette and made his way outside, " Hai, hai, Rin-chan" he replied back at the slightly smoldering Rin and three genin who seemed to have moved a few feet away from her. " Damn flirt" she grumbled as she picked up the basket and motioned for the genin to follow her.

[ Undisclosed location underneath Konoha at an undisclosed time]

A bandaged man was wracking his brain. Over a month ago, his plan of securing a piece of leverage against Sharingan no Kakashi was foiled. He had everything set up to send Kakashi's surviving teammate on a false mission so as to capture and indoctrinate her into his organization. Then the Kyuubi came. The plan was ruined. He thought he could compromise by kidnapping Uzumaki Kushina and faking her death during the chaos of the event. But no, she actually died in childbirth! And any leverage against the Hokage was lost when the Yondaime sacrificed himself. Then, he thought he could go back to the plan of capturing Rin. But no! The Sandaime had her inside the village, watching a baby he would love to get his hands on. The Kyuubi vessel.

He was only guarded by a Jounin Medic-nin, and three genin from the reports. It was a big risk to try and kidnap him nonetheless, but one that held too big of a benefit not to take. With his list of tools short, and his orphanage only in the beginning stages of being built, he needed strength. Something he could get out of a jinchuruki, possibly as early as the age of 6. With his mind made up, he called forth his best tool, " Noboru". An intimidating looking black clad man appeared before Danzo in a kneeling position, " Yes Danzo-sama".

A file was thrown onto the floor in front of him. " I want you to apprehend the Kyuubi Vessel. Inside the folder you will find it's most current picture, it's location, and a list of the shinobi caring for it. No fatalities would be preferable, but if you have to kill one of the genin to capture it, make it look like Iwa was behind it." the old war hawk finished, throwing an Iwas headband on top of the folder. " As you command, Danzo-sama" the shinobi responded before picking up the items and fading back into the darkness. Danzo picked his tea up and took a sip, imagining the powerful tool he would have in a short while.

[ November 15th, 1 hour before sunset]

The crisp autumn night air was rolling into the fields as Rin's little group wrapped up training. It had almost been three weeks since she and the genin had started training and she could definitely see results. Nanami kept her determination since that day, and has been studying the medical books whenever she had a free moment. Rin had been helping her revamp her taijutsu into one more suited for the Chakra Scalpel, and she was taking to it like a fish to water. Rin figured in a few more days she would teach the girl the technique, along with Mystic Palm and start with live training and endurance.

It was one thing to be able to do the chakra scalpel, it was another to use it as a weapon. It took high amounts of concentration and experience to make the chakra scalpel stable enough for the stresses of combat. But with the vigor the girl was showing, Rin put her money on the girl learning it in a month. Not that it was the only thing Rin was teaching the girl.

Rin had managed to kidnap Dragon for a few hours and sweet talk him into teaching Nanami **Doton: Dory****ūsō** ( Earth Release: Rising Stone Spears). It wasn't exactly a totally defensive jutsu, but it was short range so she could use it to deter pursuit by the enemy. After Dragon had shown her the jutsu, Nanami had decided to practice it to the point of exhaustion, much to the dismay of everybody else. Thankfully she had only doubled her reserves by that time and was only able to make a small mountain range of spikes, but sometime during the chaos, Dragon had escap...errr left.

Kurenai was not as much as a leap in progress as Nanami was. Rin was able to teach her **Magen: Nij****ū Kokoni Arazu no Jutsu** ( Demonic Illusion: Double False Surroundings Technique) and some tips on how to make her own genjutsus and that was about it besides chakra control, building up reserves, and physical fitness (which the girl sorely hated apparently). Kurenai was in the process of creating her own genjutsu, so Rin didn't feel completely useless to the girl. She could always teach her the jutsus she aquired from the Archives, but right now the chakra requirements would flatline the girl, so it was something for the future.

Rin had learned all three of the Katon jutsus she copied from the archives, and had them down pat. She could only manage two dragons with the **Karyu Endan**, but for a recently medic-nin only kunoichi, that was pretty good. She didn't even faint from chakra exhaustion anymore from attempting it. **Katon: Tepp****ō****mizu** (Fire Release: Flash Flood) was truly amazing, and had definitely earned it's namesake. White hot fire flowing like liquid, filling cracks, following corners...finding it's way into almost any defense. Rin was never really a jutsu fanatic, but even she had to admit that her panties were a little moist after seeing what it could do.

The Uchiha would rape their own mothers for a jutsu like that. Oh, and of course, she learned **H****ōsenka no Jutsu****. **But it paled in comparison with the first two. She had also taken up the tanto. She figured she wore the damn thing in Anbu for the last year and had no idea how to use it. True she used the chakra scalpel as her weapon, but it would be foolish to rely on something that takes chakra. She might run out, or she might get in a fight with someone who could hinder her chakra flow. A fight with a Hyuuga would be a clear example. So she would have a backup in case. It never hurt to learn something new anyways. But as much as she had started rounding herself out, none of it helped with the last genin. Hiroshi.

Hiroshi was a sore spot for Rin. She had nothing she could teach him besides the basics. A monkey could teach him that! " ACHOO!". Rin looked up to see Hiroshi frantically wiping his face off with the sleeves of his coat and Asuma rubbing his nose. " Aww kami Asuma-sensei! That's disgusting! Cover next time will you?" Hiroshi complained. Asuma sheepishly scratched his cheek, " Gomen Hiroshi. Some cute girl must be talking about me".

'Asuma' Rin thought with a bit of resentment. Since the first day, Asuma had grown on Hiroshi like a fungus, and vise versa. Putting herself in Hiroshi's shoes, she could understand why though. Being in a house with three girls, and the only other boy being not even two months old would be kind of a downer, even if Nanami was closer to him than Rin had seen any sort of " friends" be. So she couldn't fault him for wanting to have another male to talk to. It was what Asuma was for Hiroshi that irked Rin.

That being the perfect teacher. Asuma was a godsend for Hiroshi's choice in weapons, to the point the two of them already had a rudimentary style for fighting with batons. In strategy, Asuma was teaching him Go, Chinese Chekers, and Shogi, but that was just the cake, not the icing. The icing was he had learned of Hiroshi's love for geography and swung him into a whole new category of strategy. Asuma would bring over topographical maps and simulate mock battles on them, making Hiroshi use geography in his strategy. Blow this bridge, ambush this supply line, dig in here, reinforce this front, and so on. He also used Hiroshi's trap skills with this in hot exercises. Where to put up traps, what kind, and how many. Then they would see if the plan's worked. As much as Rin loved to see a paint covered Asuma, she realised she felt something she hadn't in a while. Jealousy. Inuzuka Rin was jealous.

She could do nothing for Hiroshi, while he could do everything. She knew she shouldn't feel like this, considering it was her who asked for the help, but right now he was definitely the better teacher at the moment. Nanami was Rin's best student only because she took and interest in what Rin knew. Asuma's specialties were close enough to Hiroshi's that the chunin could teach him on a detailed level. He was also a fire user, so technically he could teach Kurenai a few things as well. He also had a very agressive taijutsu style that Rin was sure Nanami...'GRRRRR. I feel like pulling my hair out! I should look at the positive things! Like the fact that at least Asuma isn't teaching Hiroshi his Sarutobi style perversion. Despite his inexpertise at the hands of Nee-san, he's definitely a close second in the arts of flirting and teasing.", she thought.

" ACHOOO!".

" ITAIII! THAT WAS A LIT CIGARETTE!", Hiroshi screamed. Asuma was now trying to calm down a genin with a red mark in the middle of his forehead. " Gomen Hiroshi. I'll say this, whoever this girl is needs a spanking" Asuma joked. " OI!", Rin sprang up with a furious blush before realizing what she just set her up for. Asuma turned to her while Hiroshi left over to Nanami, still nursing his head, " Oh, so it was you Rin-chan. But you already get spankings considering it's your birthday today" he teased the dumbfounded kunoichi. " Y-you read my file? How the hell did you even get it?", she shrieked.

Asuma put on a knowing smile, " The Sandaime's my dad of course. So I know when he leaves his office, his passwords, and blood seals are useless" he stated matter of factly. Rin tried to play it off, " Alright, so you found out my birthday. I'm three years older than you, so stop flirting gaki!" she growled at him. It only egged him on, " Aww, don't be that way Rin-chan. I don't mind if you're older than me. Plus, while you may be 18, you still blush like a schoolgirl", he teased the jounin, who started sputtering, trying to come up with a retort, but just ended up blushing like a schoolgirl. Asuma kept on though, " Besides, birthday's mean free drinks at the bars, so why don't we hit the town tonight?".

Rin was incredulous, " Me, go drinking with you?". Asuma jumped on it, " I'l take that as a yes. Pick you up at 8:30. Ja!", he blurted out before going up in a swirl of leaves. Rin's mouth was agape as she stared at where he was. The genin walked up, looking at her, before Hiroshi spoke up, " So you're going on a date with Asuma-sensei, Rin-sensei?". She just turned to the genin with the same look on her face, " I am?".

" That's what it sounded like Rin-sensei. You have to admit, he is pretty cute" Nanami piped in with a small blush. " He is?" she got back in stereo from both Rin and Hiroshi. Nanami just shrugged her shoulders with a nervous chuckle.

Rin shook her head, ' I guess I should get out of the house more. And the gakis have proven to be trustworthy around Naruto...ah, what the hell, why not?'. "Anyways, let's get home. Unless we're eating ration bars for diner?", she asked jokingly. Their response was to pick her up and carry her off back to the house. "O-oi! I can walk by myself you know!". Indeed, they were progressing nicely.

[[ OMAKE]]

'I'm going to kill her! It had to be her!' thought Rin dangerously, while sporting a cherry red blush as she laid in her bed TRYING to sleep. Muffled moans, grunts, and whimpers could be heard coming from Nanami and Hiroshi's room. Ever since Rin had left the genin with Tsume that day, the very same night, Rin started hearing the two...experiment. Kurenai seemed to sleep right through it, but Rin couldn't for the life of her for one simple reason.

Hearing AND smelling it was frustrating HER to no end. For lack of a better word, Rin was a virgin, meaning only she never had a man's...thing...in her. Her hymen was long gone, as any virgin kunoichi past chunin could tell you...well...if she didn't kill you first, so the goings on deffinitely made her...well...damn curious.

She folded her pillows over her ears and tried to ignore the smoldering itch that had seemed to have crept up between her legs.

[ Next day, Noon]

Rin was upstairs, simmering as she folded her laundry. She had been doing laundry all day and, frustratingly, it still didn't seem to do the trick. Maybe she had picked up some of the less desirable Inuzuka traits, because she could surely say she felt like she was in heat. Nanami's glowing cheerfulness that morning hadn't helped, neither had Hiroshi's limp.

Her thoughts were cut short as she caught herself subconciously pushing herself into the edge of the dresser. " AAAARRGH!" she growled in frustration with herself. she stared at the wall for a moment before shifting her gaze to..._that_ closet. She hesitated before her itch told her otherwise. ' It abandoned property right? So...what's the harm in looking through it?' she convinced herself. She slowly made her way over to the door of the closet, and then put her hand on the knob.

She took a breath and turned the knob. What greeted her looked like a miniature adult toy shop. Lingerie of every kind, condoms, bedroom bondage gear, aphrodisiacs, lotions, things she couldn't describe, and of course...vibrators. Heat radiated off of Rin from a full body blush as she forced herself to look through the vibrators, still in their boxes. She mechanically turned her head to one called The Rabbit. With a shaky hand, she picked up the box and clumsily opened it, pulling out the alien looking device. Butterflies churned in her stomach as she studied it, ' These beads must be for...and this extension must be to stimulate my...hhaaa'. Before she knew it, she was already walking over to the bed with it. With a newfound curiosity, she dropped her pair of shorts and peeled her already damp thong away from her hairless crotch (thong or pubic hair, never both afterall), leaving her in a black t-shirt. She laid on the bed and studied it closer before flipping the switch.

The vibrator sprung to life with buzzing and shaking. Rin bit her lip, before parting her legs a bit and moving the shaking hand holding the buzzing wand to the entrance of her womanhood. With only a simple prod of the end of the vibrator onto her pussy, sparks ignited on every part of her lower body. She gasped at the sensation running through her. She had never felt like this before and became more courageous. She slowly teased the entrance of her tunnel with the rabbit, taking in the slowly intensifying throbbing sensation comming from her moist crotch. Her legs became restless and she could feel a twinge growing hin her lower abdomen. A simple demand had slowly made it's presence know, ' More'.

By now her juices were flowing from her pussy, and down her ass to the bed. With a look of wanton lust, she positoned the dildo, and spread her legs even more. With a deep breath, she pushed the vibrating wand past the lips of her womanhood and all the way in until the extension rested against her newely exposed clitoris. Rin's gasped at the sensation of her pussy stretching to accomodate the intruder, her stomach muscles binding up as well Rin took a second to get used to the stretch. She may not have a hymen, but she was still virgin tight.

The stimulation to her clitoris helped alot because a dozen seconds later, she was slowly pumping the plastic phallus in and out of her tunnel, whimpering every now and then from a jolt of teasing pleasure, just making her want more. Rin's other hand busied itself with stimulating her breasts through her clothing and roaming the rest of her body, before it joined the other hand on the vibrator and pumping the full length in and out of her at a faster and harder pace. Lewd smacking sounds came from her cunt as she pumped the vibrator harder and faster, her legs becoming restless again, seeming to want to find purchase around someone that wasn't there. Rin could feel her muscles tightening, warning that she was close as her whimpers became desperate. Her legs now flopping, bent in the air, she pumped hard and fast until her whole body stiffened and her vision went pure white, her body spasming with every massive explosion of pure pleasure.

Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to enjoy the afterglow, because her vision returned to the image of Kurenai standing in the doorway with a blush that matched her eyes, and a horrified look on her face. Rin shot straight up in the bed with a sheet over her faster than the Sharingan could see. Unfortunately for Kurenai, she knocked almost everything off the bod in the process, including Kurenai's pillow.

THUNK! BZZZZZZZ!

Kurenai when from red to white so fast that Rin was amazed she didn't lose consciousness. Kurenai bolted over to the pillow, pulled out a vibrating...sock? and ran out of the room. Rin had a pretty good idea what it was. ' Definitely going to kill Nee-chan...ggghh!'. She reached down and turned off the vibrator, then pulled it out of her aching cunt and looking at the sticky instrument. With a light blush, she stuck it into her mouth and licked her juices off before concluding, ' Mmm. I tase pretty good'. With that Rin got herself dressed and went to the bathroom to clean herself up, taking her new toy with her.

?

Very late popping this one out, but the reason being that I was basically typing this part up, and writing the next chapter part down. I was going to integrate it together into one mega chapter, but I figured I'd give you something to read while I type the next part up.

Oh, and enjoy the omake. I figured I'd get used to writing lemon material considering there will be lots later.


	8. Birthdays, Bandages, and Burnt Chicken

I don't own Naruto...I pwn Anonymous reviewer trolls

It's like I said to...some guy I can't remember...The story is Star Wars Episode 1 right now, so Naruto and Ino come later. And I'm gonna be damn evil about because I intend to intertwine the story so you have to read the whole damn thing MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

And since I'm evil, "paragraph monsters" for everyone!

[ November 15th, 6:30 pm, Outside Rin's House]

Noboru had waited all day for Rin to be away from the target, and he finally found his opportunity as she had just put Naruto to sleep in his room and left back downstairs. He revealed himself from his hiding spot across the street from the house and made a beeline towards it while staying as quiet as possible. After getting tangled by a few nasty weeds, he finally made it through the yard and scales the wall to the second story.

[Downstairs]

Rin was cooking while contemplating the date she had been shoved into. Sometimes she felt as if she was gullible or something. ' Oh well, it's not like it's a romantic meeting or anything' she thought before she spied the baby bottle sitting on the counter, ' Shit, I forgot to feed him'. She picked it up and called out, " Kurenai-chan, could you go and feed Naruto quick? He'll just wake up fussing in ten minutes if he isn't and I can't leave the kitchen" she asked the genin who was sitting at the table. Kurenai nodded, took the bottle, and made her way to Naruto's room.

[Upstairs]

Noboru finally cracked the seal Rin put up to keep villagers, and the like, out of Naruto's room. Quietly, he opened the window and slipped through. He made his way towards the crib and brought out the picture. 'That's him alright' he thought. He went to pick up the infant, when the door opened and a young girl entered the room carrying a baby bottle.

When she saw the unfamiliar shinobi looming over Naruto's crib, her eyes widened and she dropped the bottle to start going through hand signs. Noboru, seeing that she was going through handsigns for a jutsu, quickly went for his tanto and made a thrust for her heart. Kurenai immediately stopped the sequence and, acting on instinct, put her hand in front of the incoming weapon. It traveled right through her left hand and inter her shoulder instead of her heart. Well into the throes of the effect of adrenalin running through her, she quickly grabbed the wrist of the hand holding the tanto, holding her enemy in place as she did the only thing she could think of given the situation. She cocked her leg back and let it fly as hard as she could right between his legs.

Had he not been so preoccupied with trying to pull his arm away from the genin, he might have been able to block the overly simple attack. But as it stood, he was clutching himself, trying to will away the pain, which was where his ROOT training came in handy. Kurenai took the window of opportunity to run over to the now crying infant and snatch him up with her good arm and attempted to make a dash for it. Attempted. Norboru was blocking her path and quickly recovering. She was trapped, she couldn't do a jutsu with no hands, and she needed help.

With all her will and the fear of what might happen, she forced herself to remember the gift of speech and screamed, " R-RIN-SENSEI!", right before taking a sandaled foot right into her face, sending her into the adjacent wall as she held tightly onto Naruto to protect him from the impact.

[Downstairs]

Rin was busying herself with dinner. Some jounin might have complained about being made to cook in this situation, but for Rin it was quickly turning into a hobby. She had never gotten many compliments about her cooking, mostly because serving food to the Inuzukas was like serving imported water to a dehydrated Suna nin. And after she moved out, she only really cooked for herself, if even. But now, she had two genin sitting at the table with sparkling eyes and drooling mouths, starting at her in admiration as she prepared tempura chicken.

Being only five years older than the two, she could only wonder if this is what being the mother of a family felt like.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Nanami, who looked up to the ceiling," Odd, it sounds like two people moving around upstairs", she voiced right before they could hear Naruto start crying and then a scream that turned Rin's blood to ice, " R-RIN-SENSEI!". Rin darted for the steps faster than anyone had thought her capable of, which incredibly doubled when she heard something heavy hit a wall upstairs, and Naruto crying harder.

[Naruto's Room]

Noboru was in a rage. This little bitch had the tenacity to kick him in the nuts, and now she was clutching the demon vessel like a vise. He quickly kicked her in the side of the head for good measure before wrenching her arm away, dislocating it in the process, and nabbing up the Kyuubi child. Right before he turned to the window, he noticed...well he didn't notice anything because the cognitive part of his brain was liquefied and leaking out of his nose and open mouth, a bluish white chakra covered hand palming the back of his head until he fell to the side, Rin snatching up Naruto before he fell. She looked from the wailing infant to Kurenai and looked horrified.

Kurenai was a total mess and barely conscious, her eyes threatening to roll up into her head. Rin could hear the other two genin had caught up. "Nanami!" she barked at the shocked genin, " Take Naruto and follow me to the hospital!" she ordered as she thrust the wailing infant into Nanami's arms. She checked over Kurenai to see whether she should treat her here or at the hospital. Unfortunately, she had too many injuries and Rin was still low on chakra from training. She picked up the blood covered genin bridal style and turned to Hiroshi, " You go to the Hokage and tell him what happened!" she barked at the still frozen genin.

He snapped out of it, " H-hai!", he replied before shunshinning out of the house. Rin and Nanami did the same, putting as much of their chakra into the jutsu as they could to get to the hospital faster. Rin reappeared a block away while Nanami was three blocks behind. As much as Rin wanted to run for the hospital right there and then, Nanami was carrying the reason for the intrusion in her arms and Rin knew she wouldn't stand a change in hell if the kidnapper had a partner.

When Nanami finally caught up, they both ran the rest of the distance to the hospital. Running through the hospital doors, she made her way to the reception desk, " I need a room and a second medic-nin immediately!" she yelled to the nurse. The nurse's shock turned into a hateful glare when she noticed the infant in the genin's arms, " Get out! We don't want you demon love-", she was cut off as Rin grabbed the nurse's collar and brought her and inch from her murderous face, " I said **NOW**!", she hollered with enough KI to cause the nurse to wet her pants.

"R-room th-322" she choked out before Rin threw her back into her chair behind the desk. She charged towards the room, grabbing a confused medic-nin and dragging him with her. Nanami followed quickly behind and shut the door of the room. The still visibly shaking nurse turned to the other nurse on duty who had seen the whole thing, " Umm, take over, I-I need to clean up", the wet nurse requested. The other could only nod dumbly.

[ With Hiroshi]

After his shunshin from the house, Hiroshi ran as fast as he could towards the Hokage Tower. Bursting through the double doors, he ignores the shrieking secretary whilst running towards the Hokage's office. He reached the office and burst through the doors, " Hokage-sama!", he shouted. Three and a half sets of eyes shifted to him, as the boy had interrupted a meeting between the Hokage, the advisers, and Danzo.

Hiruzen's annoyance towards the disturbance quickly turned into concern," You're one of Inuzuka Rin's charges are you not?", he asked authoritatively. The panting genin nodded, " Yeah. Some strange Anbu looking guy tried to kidnap Naruto. Rin-sensei killed him, but not before he seriously injured Kurenai-chan! Rin-sensei told me to tell you while they went to the hospital Hokage-sama." the genin blurted out.

Hiruzen noticed small amounts of tension in Danzo after hearing about the failed abduction. ' So Danzou, you still hold resources that should have been dissolved decades ago? You better hope I don't catch you red handed.' he thought before speaking again. " I see. It looks like this meeting will have to be finished another time. Anbu!" he called. Two Anbu, Ox and Weasle, appeared behind the startled genin. " Recover the body from the house" the Sandaime ordered the two, who then bowed and disappeared to complete their task.

Hiruzen leaped over his desk, picked up the genin under one arm, and shunshined all the way to the hospital, leaving two confused advisors shaking their heads, and one internally fuming Danzo, ' One of my best men...defeated... BY THREE BRATS AND A CANDYSTRIPER!' he bellowed in his mind before walking out of the room.

[Hospital]

Hiruzen and his load appeared right in front of the reception desk and a startled nurse, " Where can I find a woman with brown hair and purple face markings?", the Hokage asked the strangely attentive woman. The nurse, hearing the description of the woman who quickly downed her coworker, quickly spoke up, " Room 332 Hokage-sama", she supplied. With his answer, he nodded to the nurse, let go of Hiroshi, and went to find the room, Hiroshi right behind him rubbing his elbows mumbling something.

Finding the room, he opened the door to find Rin and another medic-nin, pulling a tanto out of a young Kurenai's shoulder and hand. Said girl had fallen unconscious due to the blood loss, and head trauma. Sarutobi couldn't help but cringe at the genin's condition. Seeing it wasn't a good idea to interrupt the treatment, he found a seat next to an exhausted Nanami holding a squirming baby Naruto, Hiroshi sitting in the seat on the other side of her. The observing crowd watched as Rin and the shanghaied medic mended Kurenai's hand and shoulder back together, flinched greatly when they relocated her shoulder, and nearly fainted/puked as they realligned Kurenais nose and mended her head and facial injuries.

An hour had passed by the time Rin was done and the other medic left. Kurenai's left side was swathed in bandages, her blooded dress discarded, with her head wrapped in gauze too. The bandages were more to keep the closed wounds safe and sterile until they strengthened to avoid reopening the wounds. The Hokage rose from his chair with Naruto, wisely snatching him up a half an hour earlier as Nanami nodded off and slumped forward.

The Anbu he sent to retrieve the body had reported to him 20 minutes ago that it appeared to be an Iwa shinobi, which made him grow concerned that maybe he was wrong about his insinuations, and more importantly, that Iwa knew about Naruto. When Hiruzen asked why it took so long to recover the body, the Anbu replied that it took a while to clean up the man's liquefied brains all over the floor.

"So, Rin-san, is she alright?", the Hokage asked the Kunoichi. Rin looked absolutely exhausted and knees looked ready to buckle. While she may have been training in the past three weeks, and her chakra reserves have gone up considerably, today's events were a little too much. She flopped into a bedside chair before replying, " No permanent injuries, but she's going to be in pain for the next few days...Do you know who Hokage-sama?", she asked the wizened leader.

" Anbu said he was an Iwa shinobi. Do you have reason to believe otherwise?", he asked, hoping to gain insight. Rin nodded, " He had a red headband. Only elite jounins and the Tsuchikage's personal guard wear that color, meaning he should have been able to put up more of a fight than he did. His clothes didn't match that standing either. Also, the plate was almost unscathed, probably taken off a dead genin. Lastly, the tanto", she picked up the tanto covered in Kurenai's blood. It was basically a black, straight piece of metal with a leather grip wrapped around the steel handle," This is a fire country design. An Iwa shinobi wouldn't be caught...well...dead using it. Whoever he was, he didn't fight the third shinobi war, I'll tell you that much. So...who would it be?", she asked again.

Hiruzen had to sigh, more in relief than anything, ' at least Iwa hasn't found out' he thought before replying," I have a suspicion, but without hard evidence, it would be impossible to connect him to it, and considering his stature within the village at the moment, I can't do anything against him", the aged Hokage stated frustratingly. Rin furrowed her brows angrily, " Does this suspicion at least have a name so I can prepare and avoid in the future?". The Hokage nodded. After all, it's not like he was one to protect the crinkled old warhawk.

" I believe you already know him. Shimura Danzo", he replied bluntly. Indeed Rin knew who he was, she was there when he made his interest known in turning Naruto into a living weapon. She had heard from her old sensei about his Root program as well, which was supposed to be disbanded years ago because of the inhumane results, and more importantly...the very lopsided failure to success ratio of the group's mission list. So Rin couldn't say she was surprised he'd want to get his hands on a jinchuruki by any means possible. " I'll tell the genin to avoid the old mummy later" Rin stated her mind as she looked at the snoring genin leaning against eachother in their seats.

Their conversation was interrupted as the form of Kurenai started to awaken. She cracked her puffy eyes, which were black not two hours ago, and looked at her sensei. The thing Kurenai did next surprised Rin since she didn't think about the prior incident yet. " I-is N-nar-rruto al-rrrrright?" she asked the surprised Jounin and smiling Hokage in a croaky and stuttering voice.

Rin got over her surprise and smiled at the bandaged girl, " He's fine thanks to you Kurenai-chan. If you hadn't protected him the way you did, he would e gone", Rin praised the girl. Kurenai smiled before noticing the tanto that was previously lodged in her shoulder, sitting on a cart of dirty gauze and used medical instruments. Without a further thought, she grabbed it up.

Rin looked at the genin questioningly. Kurenai managed to smirk through the soreness in her face, " I-I thhink I-I've eeearned it", she answered humorously. Rin chuckled, " I think you've earned more than that", she retorted. The Hokage nodded at this, " Indeed you have Kurenai. I never intended for you or your teammates to take such an active part in Rin's mission, so I think some A-rank hazard pay is in order for your bravery", the Hokage stated.

Kurenai blushed before her expression turned glum. " What's wrong Kurenai-chan?" Rin asked in concern. The girl sighed, " I-I was aaalmostt u-useless in ttthat fight. I-I ccouldnn't even c-casst a g-genjjjutsu before hhhe attttacked-d me. Th-the onl-ly thing I-I-I could-d-d d-dooo was k-k-kick him innn thththe groin a-and ssssssc-cream like a-a cc-civiliiian-n" Kurenai replied , downtrodden at her weakness.

The Hokage put his free hand on the girl's good shoulder, " You have to remember Kurenai, he was most likely a jonin, and you are a genin. Also, if I remember correctly, you are aspiring to become a genjutsu specialist. Most genjutsu based ninja are long range fighters for exactly the situation you were in. You were almost powerless in the fight because it was close range, and tight quarters at that.", the Hokage assured her, and Rin joined in as well, " Being a genjutsu specialist is a good goal, but even I've found that overspecializing can leave you blindsided Kurenai-chan. I have a few things I could teach you to shore up your mid range problems, and..." Rin tapped Kurenai's tanto, " your new toy could be an excellent solution for close range".

Kurenai seemed to cheer up a bit after that. Rin hadn't taught her that much before due to her concentration on Genjutsu. Sometimes she felt jealous that both Nanami and Hiroshi synced with their respective teacher while Kurenai was sort of the odd genin out. Now, after the attack, Kurenai could honestly say if Rin could teach her something that would make her a stronger kunoichi, who was she to pass it up because it wasn't her specialty? She smiled at the jounin, " H-hai Rin-s-sssensei!" she replied back as cheerful as a trauma patient could be.

Rin, happy that everything was well again, wanted to wrap things up, " Well, I'm sure dinner is a little overcooked-"

" Ah yes, the Anbu said whatever they put out in your kitchen smelled delicious" the Hokage interupted, earning a sweatdrop from Rin, "...sooo I guess we're gonna have to find alternate sustenance...Oi! Nanami! Hiroshi! Wake up already!", she hollered at the two genin, still sleeping in the chairs. They stretched and yawned before noticing Kurenai sitting up in bed.

"Kurenai! You're awake! Are you alright?" they shouted in unison. Kurenai tried to reply but Rin cut her off, " She's fine. Now let's go get something to eat before I resort to cannibalism. Hiroshi, go get a wheelchair for Kurneai" she ordered, causing the startled boy to snap at attention before flying out of the room. " Why not leave her here for monitoring?" the Hokage asked. He watched as Rin put on a scowl before replying, " I'd rather not leave her care to some of the people around this hospital. I'm a fully trained medic anyways so I can do as much for her at home, as can be done for her here." she stated cooly.

The Hokage decided it had something to do with Naruto and left it at that, " Well, I think I'll join you then, seeing as I haven't eaten since lunch. I would suggest a little ramen stand that your sensei frequented with his girlfriend", the old Hokage replied, changing the subject. Rin was about to reply when she heard something coming down the halls. squeak squeak squeak squEAK sqUEAK sQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!

The bristles on the back of Rin's head stood on end as she heard it come closer to the door, then her eye twitched and a vein popped up on her forehead, " HIROSHI! I SWEAR TO KAMI IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA LISTEN TO THAT ALL THE WAY HOME...FIND ANOTHER ONE! The squeaking stopped abruptly before starting up again, , it faded quickly into the distance before CRASH. They could hear a nurse hollering at what they guessed was Hiroshi. The Hokage and Nanami sweatdropped before the grumbling jounin turned to the Hokage, " Ramen it is", she replied bluntly as she helped dress Kurneai in her slightly tattered and stained dress.

A while later Hiroshi came back with a sheepish look and a non squeaking wheelchair. After helping Kurenai into the wheelchair, she stood back, " Alright, is everybody ready? She got two resounding and one stuttering " Hai", the last causing the first two to look shocked, " Holy shit! She can talk again!", Hiroshi stated the obvious in a less than tactful manner. Rin waved the two genin off as she got behind Kurenai's wheelchair, " Hai Hai. Worry about it later. Food time is now!" she stated. She was tired, hungry, and an Inuzuka by name, and she made it known.

[Streets of Konoha]

The strange procession made their way towards the small ramen shack, allowing the Hokage time with Naruto. Rin didn't think it was humanly possible to pull off some of the wierd faces he was making at Naruto, the infant giggling louder with each one. Rin had to smirk," You know Hokage-sama, I don't see why you didn't just take him into the Sarutobi clan", she pondered.

The Hokage seemed to sadden at the question before he spoke up, " I would have if it would have been beneficial to him. After my wife's death, there's been animosity between my sons and I. Put that with my duties and you have a clan compound with hardly anyone there at any given time. Then there's the problem with association. Why would the Hokage adopt a random orphan? Foreign powers would catch on, combined with the previous problem, and it would put him in even more danger than he is in right now. Iwa finding out would be a prime example", he stated solemly. Rin could only nod somewhat disappointingly.

The Hokage smiled at the jounin, " Don't worry Rin. If the assailant truly wasn't from Iwa, as you believe, then the secret is safe, and the mastermind has just lost a precious "tool" as he would say. He didn't have many when he was ordered to disband his organization, and I'm sure his numbers haven't increased significantly since then, so I doubt a second attempt would be too soon in the making", he stated. Rin perked up upon realizing something, she looked to the genin, " Should you be discussing this in front-". " Don't worry, they know. I've sworn them to secrecy about it before they even came to your house", the wizened leader assured Rin as they reached the flaps of none other than the Ichiraku ramen stand.

"Welcome!" they heard from a small brown lump of hair hovering from behind the counter. The group craned their necks to see a brown eyed little girl smiling up at them. "Hello little girl, is the owner of this place around?", the Sandaime asked. The girl gave off a cute pout, " I'm not liddle!. I'm aulready this many!", she protested, holding up four fingers.

" Already four. You ARE a big girl. So can you call the owner here?" Sarutobi asked the child again, this time getting a vigorous nod. The girl turned away from them and called, " TOU-SAN! SOME OLD BEARDY-FACE MAN WITH A FUNNY HAT WANTS FOOD!", causing the Hokage to facefault and the rest of the group to try and stifle their snickering. A man could be heard walking to the front, " Ayame-chan, what did I say about being polite to the custo...Hokage-sama!", he gasped when he saw the " beardy-face man" before quickly bowing to the Sandaime, " Forgive my daughter for her rudeness Hokage-sama".

After picking himself up, the Sandaime just waved it off, " Quite alright for a child and, sadly, quite accurate. So this is Ayame. How she's grown since the last time I've seen her", the Hokage reminisced whilst looking at the child bent sideways and staring at her father while he bowed. Teuchi straightened back, " Anyways, I'm sure you and your group are all hungry, so what can I get for you?", Teuchi asked the group.

After getting their orders, Teuchi went back to start cooking, dragging his daughter with him so she wouldn't cause more trouble. The group was left to sip their drinks and converse. Nanami and Hiroshi were bombarding Kurnenai with questions, and Rin and the Sandaime were fiddling over Naruto and conversing about the incident. As the conversation went on, the Hokage remembered something, " Ah, before I forget. I'll send Kurenai's payment tomorrow morning along with your weekly payment Rin", the Hokage informed the jounin, who nodded in response as she helped Kurenai reach her drink.

Hiroshi perked up upon hearing this, " She's getting paid? So what do we get?", he asked hopefully. Nanami decided to deflate his hopes, " You get dinner Baka!", she growled at him. Her attempt backfired. Unperturbed, Hiroshi put on a contemplative pose, " Hmm, a hard bargain. Throw in some "dessert" later and it's a deal!", he proclaimed at Nanami suggestively, wagging his eyebrows, and causing Nanami to blush a new shade of red before dumping the ice water pitcher over Hiroshi's head.

The Hokage just shook his head, " I can tell who Asuma has been teaching, " They're almost identical in their flirting" he stated. Rin couldn't help but laugh, " Couldn't be more true Hokage-sama. I swear, when he's not flirting, he's trying to swindle me into a da...date. Oh fff-".

"Found you!", Asuma cut her off as his head burst through the tent flaps. "Thought you could get out of a night of drinki...", he paused, and his victorious smirk disappeared as he set eyes on his father and a heavily bandaged Kurneai. He lef out a resounding sigh before speaking up again, " What happened?", he asked simply. Rin told him the story as their food was served and Asuma ordered, figuring he would be there for a while.

By the time Rin finished, Asuma looked a little disgusted and alot more pissed. He looked over to his old man, " Honestly pops, why do you even keep that gimp of a mummy around? All he seems to do is contradict everything you do and try to stab you in the back when that doesn't work. Just take him out behind a shed and slap an eploding tag on his back", he suggested bluntly. His father was imagining doing just that, and chuckled darkly, but shook it out of his head, " As much as I'd love to do that...heh...I don't have the evidence or the support. Until then, as the saying goes. " Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer"", Hiruzen proclaimed.

Asuma shook his head, " There's also the saying, " Kill the snake before it bites you". And this particular one is aimed for your ass pops", Asuma retorted, pointing at the mentioned posterior. Hiruzen harrumphed, " You think a half bandaged mummy is going to get the best of me? You're a thousand years too early to be lecturing ME boy", the Sandaime fired back, fueling the argument. The two stubbornly bickered back and forth, Naruto just watching the funny men, for 5 more minutes until Asuma's food came, prompting the chunin to sit down and eat.

This was Asuma's first time here, so he was pleasantly surprised as the genin had been with the taste of the ramen, " Damn, this beats free birthday bar drinks any day! Which reminds me...", he remembered. Quickly finishing his food, he pulled out a cheap sealing scroll and unrolled it across an empty part of the counter. With a push of chakra, a cake came out. "...I...didn't have enough money for a present, but I at least had enough for a cake", he stated with a nervous smile, AFTER looking at the cake. Everybody else was too busy staring at the cake with a mix of blushes, bloody noses, drool, and an look of pure shock and horror on Rin's face, " Wh-why...WHY IS THERE A NAKED PICTURE OF ME ON THIS CAKE?", she hollered in anger.

True to her observations, there was an expertly made, icing scribed, picture of her naked form on the cake, obscenely straddling the cadle in the middle of it. Asuma nervously scratched his cheek, " Uh...yeah. The only bakery open at this time of night was an erotic cake store in the Yamanaka district. I...kinda pulled a prank on the owner back in my genin days. Looks like she got me back hahahaha!", he chuckled in a cold sweat.

Rin slammed her head into the counter eliciting a happy giggle from Naruto. She was too tired to chase him down and kill him. And really, it was kind of poetic in her exhausted state of mind, a birthday cake with a picture of her in her birthday suit. Sighing, she resigned herself to the awkward situation, " Just light the fucking candle so we can get it over with", she groaned. Asuma let out a breath of relief before smiling, " That's the spirit!", he exclaimed as he lit the candle...that looked alot like a penis now that she looked closer at it.

Before she could protest, Asuma started singing, prompting everyone else to join in, including and extremely amused looking Hokage and even Teuchi, who found he liked this batch of customers. By the time the song was finished, Rin was a shade of red that put a tomato. It didn't help that the wax from the penis candle that dripped down seemed to have lost it's peach color and just regular white.

' I wish this day would end' she thought before blowing it out, eliciting a cheer from everyone. Asuma picked off the candle, " Wanna lick the frosting off?" he asked with a chuckle. A vein bulged on Rin's forehead as she swatted it out of his hand, " NO I DON'T WANNA LICK THE DAMN FROSTING OFF!", she growled. The candle flew out of the ramen stand.

" What the hell is this?", a male voice came from the other side of the curtains. " It kinda looks like a penis candle", a very familiar female voice called back, causing Rin to pale. The curtains flapped as two people stepped in, both carrying babies. It was Yamanaka Inoichi with a wrapped bundle in the form of his two and a half month old daughter, Ino, and the other was none other than Inuzuka Tsume with a squirming Kiba.

" Oh! Here you are Nee-chan! I was wondering where you were. Having a birthday party...I...see.", she drawled out as she eyed the cake. " Umm, is that appropriate for a celebration with such people?", Inoichi asked as he tried to keep his blood in his head. Rin turned to Asuma with shaded eyes, prompting him to speak up, " Yamanaka erotic cake shop, only place open, owner pulled a prank on me", he stated quickly. Inoichi snorted, " Yuna's shop? What the hell did you do to piss her off?", Inoichi asked. Asuma sratched his head, " I can't even remember anymore, I think it had something to do with laxative.", he replied shruggingly.

" Why are you out at this time of night Inoichi? Usually you're at home now, unless..." the Hokage left off prompting Inoichi to respond. " Um...well...Izumi is having one of her..."off"...days and pretty much told me to find my own dinner, heheh", he sheepishly stated". What he left out was he had come home to hear Ino's cries being ignored by an irate wife who pretty much sighted in on him as soon as he opened the door. By the time the dust settled, Izumi locked herself in the bedroom and Ino was still crying. After seeing what Ino needed, he decided they should both let his wife cool off.

Tsume took her que after that, " Then I found the bum, wandering the streets while I was looking for Rin, and decided to go look for you together, the three of us being parents and all. I have to give you your birthday present after all", she proclaimed with a grin. Rin nodded, " Ah, I see...wait, wait, WAIT...I'm not a parent!", she argued with Tsume.

Tsume pointed at Naruto and the genin, " You have 4 kids and you're not a parent? That's funny Nee-chan! You're lucky too, you did it without stretch marks!", she stated with mock astonishment. The Hokage put on a snickered at Tsume's remark, causing Rin's eye to twitch. She swung her head to the genin, " I'm not their mother. Isn't that right guys-eh?", she stated before fixing her eyes on the two mock crying genin. " Kaa-chan! How could say such a thing?", Hiroshi wailed with Nanami picking up where he left off, " We've worked so hard just to gain your approval and love!", she sobbed. Kurenai even pitched in, " K-kaa-chan, I-I ccan't rrrreach m-my drink", she pouted trying to reach for it with her previously dislocated shoulder.

Rin slumped in defeat, her wish was looking more like a pipe dream. Tsume patted her on the back, " It's alright Nee-chan! Let's have some sexy cake and forget all about this terrible day!", she stated, receiving a chorus of agreement. Tsume turned to Asuma who had started cutting up the cake, " Yo! I got dibs on the left breast!", she called out. By this time Rin was foaming at the mouth anyways, so she wasn't really listening.

The next couple hours consisted of eating Rin...cake, a meeting of the babies, bringing Rin back to sanity, and all around a nice little celebration...as fucked up as it may have been.

Finally, everybody parted ways and Rin, with the genin in tow, dragged her ass back home. After cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, hiding the apparently crotchless breastless unmentionables Tsume gave her as a present, and dragging Naurto's crib into her room for the time being until she could reconfigure the security seals, she turned to the reassembled genin. " We're taking a day off tomorrow...and this night will never be spoken of", she deadpanned with a solemn look of death. The genin didn't need to ask why, they just nodded their heads vigorously and all of them went to bed.

As Rin laid in bed and thought back on the day, she realized that it wasn't as bad as she had thought it to be. Her last genin's mental problems were starting to fade, Naruto was safe, and she could definitely say she wasn't as alone as she thought she was more than a month before. She could actually get used to this. Though, hopefully the days of birthdays, bandages, and burnt chicken would be a rarity.

?

It took a while to type this up, mainly because I've been reading fics as well.

Not much interaction between Ino and Naruto, but I felt like having them pop up for certain reasons. You'll see what I mean later.

And to those who were bored with this chapter, I'm sorry, and you have my heartfelt assurance that I don't have a heart and that I'm lying about being sorry :D

Time skip in next episode so quitcherbitchin


	9. Oh No You Didn't!

Been a while. I've been working on other ideas for some other stories while writing out the next chapter. But, here's the next installment. A little longer with all the Omakes I put into it.

[ December 21st, 10:00 a.m. Training ground 6]

Rin closely watched the genin as they practiced on the training field while she fed Naruto. With every maneuver they did, Rin would look on pridefully and proudly. Nanami went through her katas with her hands glowing bluish white. Rin couldn't be happier with Nanami's progress. She was using the chakra scalpel with as much dexterity as a medic-nin 2 years her senior. Rin felt that Nanami was ready to field test it.

Her medical skills were not the most impressive, but they would still be a large advantage on the battlefield, and definitely were better than some of the doctors at the hospital. Her chakra reserves didn't just triple, but quintupled, with her chakra control rapidly advancing as well. Coincidentally, Hiroshi's reserves and control shot up at exactly the same time. Whatever they were doing for training, it was definitely showing results.

She had asked them what their secret was so she could perform it with Kurenai, but they both turned beet red and they stuttered while their noses leaked blood, right before they fainted. Whatever the hell it was must be very taxing.

Moving onto Hiroshi, Rin could honestly say she was impressed with Asuma's training. Hiroshi's donkijutsu style was in good form considering its homunculus roots. His strategic thinking was becoming sharper with every training session, and his trap making was that of almost an expert. Rin's jealousy of Asuma went down a bit after she had found something to teach him.

[November 22nd, THE PAST]

It happened after Asuma and the Hokage came up short on anything relevant to Hiroshi's Raiton affinity. Apparently it startled the Hokage enough that he ordered every ninja a bonus if they brought back or learned of any relevant information on Raiton. It still left them short though. That's when Rin came up with an idea. A conversion seal.

A conversion seal would convert chakra into an elemental chakra from the base five elements. Usually they were unfavorable considering most people used them for an affinity they didn't have, which ate up chakra like an Akimichi ate food. But in Hiroshi's case, where the seal would be converting it into his natural affinity, it would eat chakra more like a Hyuuga. Of course, all this seal would do is electrify his batons, no jutsu or weapon based attacks, but still a bitch if you got hit by one.

After committing to the idea, Rin spent the next few days going through scrolls on fuuinjutsu to find the seal for the job. Many people think seals can do anything you want them to do, from cleaning your house to casting jutsu of sub elements you didn't have, and beyond. And in all actuality, they'd be right if it wasn't for one key problem. Time.

Seals are basic programs that used a complex array of simple kanji, reformed into much more complex algorithms, to do a simple command like seal, suppress, store, possess, and things like that. The arrays for the types of seals were large and time consuming to write, and only the fluid movement of an experienced seal master could speed up the process for mass production items such as exploding tags. But this was only by a margin.

Which is why, until they made a giant stamp room, explosive tags used to be so damned expensive. Working for 20 minutes per tag will do that. Suppression seals were even more time consuming, and possession seals even more so. People would argue that there were more complex seals out there like the summoning seals and the Shiki Fuin. Summoning Seals were automatic and tied through you blood signature to the summoning scroll and cast using a jutsu. The Shiki Fuin was scribed by the Death God so there was no argument to be made there.

No, the most complex seal Rin had seen to date were one's that would animate sparing dummies. They took weeks to make and had the complexity of an insects brain. So yes, you could make a seal to clean your house, but it would probably be the price of a new house. So, as it stood, Rin found the seal she was looking for. It would take 34 manhours each, and some of the longest and tightest lines of code she has attempted at this point in her life.

She sighed at the work involved, but she knew it would bug her for eternity if she didn't help out all of her charges in one way or another. Picking up the scroll, she went to go get the supplies she would need to perform the seals.

Once she got home, she went to get Hiroshi, who was battling weeds in the back yard. 'Where did those things come from anyway? Training ground 44?' she thought.'

"Hiroshi!" she called to the genin, not wanting to jump into the fight with the vicious weeds. God know what the things might do to her. This WAS Jiraiya's house after all.

After literally freeing himself, he ran over to Rin, " What's up Kaa-chan?", he asked, causing her eye to twitch.

They all were calling her that ever since her birthday, which made her name "Kaa-sensei" on the training fields. She shook off her irritation and looked back to Hiroshi. " I need your batons" she stated simply. Hiroshi blinked a few times before letting them drop out of his secret pockets," Um, okay. For what though?", he asked curiously. Rin pulled out the seal instruction scroll and showed him.

"I'm going to spend the next few days making these. After they're done, you'll be able to channel chakra into them and they will convert your chakra into lightning chakra, thus electrifying your batons", she explained to a wide eyed Hiroshi. " You can do that with seals?" he asked incredulously. Rin's nodded," Yeah, you can do alot with seals, though it gets time consuming the more complicated they are. These conversion seals will take up to 34 hours each to make", she stated about the daunting task.

Then she heard three words she wasn't expecting," Can I help?". Rin looked at Hiroshi like a pair of antennae just sprouted out of his head, " You want to help me with something that will take a whole three days to complete?", she asked incredulously. Hiroshi's enthusiasm faltered only by the slightest fraction, " Yeah! Maybe I can learn about seals too. Some might even be great for trap making!", he said excitedly. Rin almost stumbled, ' I never thought...I mean I don't even like fuinjutsu...so how could I have possibly...stupid Rin. Stupid!' she berated herself mentally before looking back at Hiroshi, " Alright, but you're gonna learn what I teach you", she said sternly. She still didn't like seals, so it was gonna be a bitch to try and teach it.

Hiroshi eagerly snapped to attention, " Hai Kaa-sensei!", he responded. Rin just shook her head and led him to the area she set up for the process.

[Flashback end]

That was three weeks ago. He didn't turn out to be some prodigy seal master, but he worked tirelessly to learn ones that could be used with his skills. Explosive seals, restraining seals, suppression seals, exploding seals, proximity seals, explo-"FOOM!"

-ding seals.

"*cough* *cough* Dammit Hiroshi!" Kurenai shouted while choking on the smoke from the downsized explosive note trap. Hiroshi was laughing his ass off until Kurenai pulled her tanto and came back at Hiroshi full force causing him to fend for his life. Kurenai had progressed mentally as much as she had physically. He stutter lessened more and more as she reacquainted her brain with the art of verbal communication.

Her biggest leap though was when she was finally able to express what happened the night of the Kyuubi attack.

*flashback*

[ November 20th Rin's House]

Rin woke up in the middle of the night to find the bed missing one occupant. She got up and looked around the house, yet she came up empty. She went back upstairs before she remembered that she didn't check Naruto's room. 'What could she be doing in there at this time of night?', Rin thought as she made her way to the door. She quietly opened it to find Kurenai sitting up against the wall, Naruto sleeping, cradled in her arms. It would almost be cute if not for the sad, distant look the girl had, like she was reliving a bad memory.

Rin walked up to her without Kurenai even noticing, at least as far as she could tell, and sat right next to her. " Kurenai-chan", Rin called her name, shaking her out of her thoughts abruptly. "S-sorry Kaa-chan, h-he nneeded a diaper change", she stated. Rin eyebrows perked up, " Is that why you were sitting against the wall looking like you're mourning a grave?", Rin asked.

Kurenai's energy seemed to totally leave her at Rin's question, " S-sort of. Th-there wasn't annnything-g to put into a-a rrreal grave", Kurenai muttered sadly as she tried to hold back her tears. Rin easily picked up on what she was talking about and kept quiet not wanting to push the girl to tell her.

A couple of minutes later, Kurenai spoke up again, " My tt-t-team and I-I wer-were one of the b-best Reconaisance teeeeeams ever produced so ssssoon out of th-the Academy. Kenta was great at t-t-tracking with h-hhis Ningen. Ryouta was a natural-l with his Byakugan, yet s-somehow he was always lllllleading us into the thick of things, but Tomo-sens-s-sei would aaaalways pull us b-b-back out in oone piece. Sensei k-kept us out of the ex-xams for a year to ho-hone our skills, yyyyet we s-still lost in the th-third stage. Tomo-sensei j-just cheered us up, s-say-saying we wwwould get it-t next time. We t-trained ourselves even harder, w-waiting forrr fall for th-the exams to come to Konoha again...but...b-but", the tears finally let loose as she started shaking.

Rin put a hand on her shoulder, " What happened Kurenai-chan?", she asked the teen who was on the verge of bawling. " W-we were-re in charg-ge of hhhelping find wo-woun-d-ded for o-one of the medical u-units. W-we were trailin-ng it-t's path, looking f-for survivors and w-we were ge-getting too close. I-I stopped to...to cast a-a concealment g-genjjjutsu. T-tomo-sensei turned around-d and told me it wo-wouldn't work, b-but they didn't n-notice the K-kyuubi turn around and l-lunge at them with it's mouth o-open. The next thing I-I remember was a wall of teeth i-in front of me. I-I...I could h-hear Kenta and Ryouta sssscreaming in agony f-from behind them! Th-the next instant it rr-rrraised it's he-head and it w-was gone. I...I r-remember looking-ng down ans seeing To-tomo-sensei staring up at me...b-but it was...it was...j-just...hhhher..", Kurenai broke down crying.

Rin did the only thing she could think of, and pulled the girls into a hug. Kurenai cried for a good hour, after which she fell asleep. Rin carried her back to the room and hoped the girl would feel better soon before going back to bed herself. The next day, Kurenai seemed more uplifted, well, as much as Kurenai could be. But Rin knew the teams emotional recovery was well on it's way to complete.

*flashback end*

Kurenai's physical progress was nothing to scoff at either. With the return of her voice came the return of the full effectiveness of her genjutsu. Rin had to admit she had a bit of a problem detecting and dispelling them now, and near impossible with her new **Magen: Jubaku Satsu **(Demonic Illusion: Tree Binding Death). Kurenai's skill with her blood-earned tanto was going well also, as was Rin's.

It was a very simple weapon with a very simple style once you got the basics down, the first being that it isn't ideal as a stabbing weapon due to how close it would put you and your enemy should it not kill your opponent with the strike. Rin had to seriously question who the hell Danzo had teaching his men...and thank them for fucking it up. It was a blocking and slashing weapon that was ideally suited for close quarters unarmored targets.

So if Kurenai found herself in a situation where genjutsu wasn't an option, she could draw the tanto and defend herself until she killed the opponent, or until she could gain an ideal distance away from the opponent. Then there were the fire jutsus Rin had taught her. Those were...a little more tricky. The jutsu were best performed if you had a good grasp on your Katon affinity. If you didn't, they take up more chakra like Rin found out with **Katon: Karyu Endan**.

In Kurenai's case, it put her on the edge of coma and only produced one, very slow moving, dragon. Rin was showing her the exercises for Katon, and also exercises on building her chakra reserves, but even she knew this was going to be slow going with little results in a short period of time. Rin wasn't an impatient woman unless she was hungry, in pain, having a bad period, frustrated, or horny. Apparently she stumbled on a new one in the art of Ninjutsu. She wanted results now. Which led Rin to drastic actions.

*flashback!*

[December 7th Konoha Outskirts]

Rin walked up to the house of an old acquaintance who grew herbs for Konoha's various herbal remedies. She also grew things that were not smiled upon by the Konoha shinobi population. Rin knocked on the front door, waited a bit, then knocked twice more. She heard someone walking up and the door opened. Who greeted her was a woman in her mid forties with long hair and strange orange eyes that were by no means hidden by the small circular sunglasses that hung off the end of her nose.

The woman studied Rin for a few moments before remembering, " Rin? Kami kid I haven't seen you in over a year! I was starting to think you died of an overdose.", she state with a knowing smile. Rin grimaced, " Hey Hotaru. Almost, but I cleaned up", she said in a solemn tone. Hotaru tisked, " Shame on ya' kid, I knew that stuff would nip you in the ass. Good to know you're not dead though. So what does a clean girl like you want with an ol' social deviant such as myself?", Hotaru asked the Jounin as she push up her sunglasses.

Rin got a little closer, " I need some Akurei peppers".

At this, Hotaru raised her hands in front of her, " Hey, hey, I got out of that business. After all, the Konoha Council looks down on performance enhancin-"

Rin flashed a 1,000 ryou note in front of Hotaru, who quickly cut off her speech and snatched it up, " Follow me".

The proceeded into her house and into the basement. Her basement looked like a laboratory. Hydroponics lined the walls and hanging planters held things Rin knew would be a hefty fine or jailtime for possessing. Though Rin knew it would never come to that. Hotaru was very well connected and her clientele included some very influential people. Then Rin came upon a plant she was all too familiar with. It's entrancing phosphorescent blue glow belied it's purpose as a very insidious hallucinogenic. Yeah, she knew that one all too well.

To stem off the phantom urges, she turned her attention back to Hotaru, who was mumbling to herself while looking through the plants growing in the hydroponics along a wall before straightening back up, " Aha! Here they are. I have 5 ripe ones too. I'll cut ya' a break, 1,000 ryou each.", she stated going into business mode.

Rin nodded and pulled out her wad of cash, " I'll take all five", she replied as Hotaru started picking them. "So, what are we making 'em into if I might ask?", Hotaru questioned. Akurei peppers could be prepared in a few different ways for a few different purposes. Rin decided to tell her, "Amaterasu Pills". Hotaru snorted, " Who has their Katon undies in a bundle?", she asked humorously whilst packing up the peppers.

Rin shrugged, " One of my students is a genjutsu specialist, and since she'll never seriously train in ninjutsu, I figured I would give her the shortcut to her affinity so she can do the jutsus I teach her to round her out a bit. How strong are these by the way?", Rin asked while handing over the money. Hotaru smirked as the product and money changed hands, " The ones they grow at the Northern Fire Temple are half the strength of mine. 4 pills at a time maximum or she'll light up like a human torch", she said as her smile disappeared at the end.

Rin nodded as she stowed the package in her pouch, " Thanks for the advice. It's nice to know you care". Hotaru shook her head, " I don't. I've seen too many people die and ruin their life on stuff that I sell 'em and frankly, the guilt dried up a decade ago. Hell I knew I was selling ya' too much but who am I to complain as long as I get paid? No, the advice was for the tip you added to the price", she stated waving the extra 500 ryou note around.

Rin grimaced a bit, " Well, I guess I should get going. Thanks", she replied walking up the stairs. "Anytime kid. Hope we do business again", Hotaru called to her before turning around and walking deeper into the basement.

With the ingredient she needed, Rin went home to do some chemistry.

[Next day]

Rin took the genin out to the training ground and had them do warm ups. Only minutes later, Asuma joined Rin on the side of the field watching the genin go through their paces. Asuma watched as Rin fumbled with a small glass jar full of red pills before speaking up, " What might those be Rin-chan?", causing Rin to startle.

" Uh...just some diet pills. You know, gotta keep my figure", she lied with a chuckle. Asuma lit up another cigarette, " Ah...I don't think Amaterasu pills are a good dietary supplement, unless you're looking to literally burn the pounds off", he said nonchalantly. Rin narrowed her eyes at Asuma, " How the hell did you know what it was?", she asked suspiciously.

Asuma smirked, " I didn't. I just guessed", he replied causing Rin to choke before slumping in defeat. " You don't even act surprised I knew where to get them", she mumbled. Asuma quirked an eyebrow, " You don't remember-tsk- of course you wouldn't remember. I was the one who had to help the Yondaime carry you to the hospital during your little...episode, because you were thrashing around so hard. I swear you must be the only person in the world who has managed to break the Yellow Flash's nose", he finished with a chuckle.

Rin looked absolutely horrified and embarrassed, " _I_ broke his nose?", she asked gaining a nod from Asuma. " What was the crap that almost did you in anyways? I've never seen a reaction like that." Asuma asked truly perplexed. Rin had regained her composure," Tsukiyomi", she mumbled.

" Damn. You went right for the hardcore stuff didn't you?... Judging by the timeline, I'm guessing the Third Shinobi War was your reason?", he nudged. Rin chuckled humorlessly. Asuma may seem like he's a lazy poorly dressed bum, but you either knew better or you were floored by his sharp wit. " Yeah. My teammate's death actually. Kakashi was never any emotional support, and Minato-sensei became Hokage soon after the war. The only thing I really had was missions. I probably would have burnt myself out or something with how recklessly I accepted them, but I took a quick C-rank one day instead of the A-rank I was going to. The C-rank had me delivering some herbal seeds from Waterfall Country to a house on the outskirts of Konoha-"

"Hotaru?" Asuma barged into her story. Rin narrowed her eyes at Asuma and put her hands on her hips signaling she wanted an explanation. "_Someone_, I know, _may or may not_, put _something _a little stronger into his pipe when the stress gets bad, and he sends me to get it." he explained cryptically. Rin just laughed hysterically, knowing full well she only knew of one person who smoked a pipe and was exposed to heavy stress. Though, considering this was his second run, she couldn't fault the man.

"Anyways, I found out about it, she sold it to me, and things felt better...well...until...you know", she finished causing Asuma to nod. " So why are you going to push another kind of drug on one of your students?", Asuma asked. Rin snorted, " Please. Tsukiyomi and Amaterasu are totally different things. The only reason Amaterasu is restricted is for two reasons. One, the stuck up Uchiha and their prideful boasts of being the best fire users. Two, the Hokages saw it as a liability should fire users grow too dependent on it to attain their affinities. Amaterasu isn't addictive, has no bad side effects...that I know of, and has a variety of uses from fire affinity enhancement to male...enlargement, if prepared in different ways", she read off the top of her mind like an advertisement.

Asuma nodded, " Oh...so you're trying to make her penis bigger-"

"Shut up!" she cut him off before making her way to the genin as they finished their exercises. " Good work guys. Alright, Kurenai-chan, you're going to be working on those jutsus you learned". Kurenai paled, " B-but Kaa-sensei, I nearly died the last time I tried them.", she tried to get out of it. Rin would have none of it, " This time...WILL BE DIFFERENT!", she exclaimed with a triumphant smile and she shoved the glass bottle full of pills in Kurenai's hand.

"Umm...Kaa-sensei, w-what are these?"

"Pills..."

"Umm...w-what kind of pills?"

" Pills that will make your fire jutsus...BETTER" she exclaimed, flaring her hands at the word "BETTER" Rin smile never faltered causing discomfort to all three genin. "Don't take more than four of them...in fact...only take three", Rin warned still smiling.

"Are they dangerous?", Kurenai asked wearily. "That's a good question Kurenai-chan!", Rin replied before scooping the other two genin under her arms and hiking back over to Asuma who was looking at the scene with a look of weariness. Once Rin dropped the genin off she turned back to Kurenai, " Just take three, chew them up five or 6 times, swallow, and then do **Karyu Endan**!", she yelled to Kurenai. Kurenai hesitantly opened the bottle and let three pills drop into her open hand. The strange thing was that the pills seemed to be glowing like embers and radiating heat onto Kurenai's palm. " Are you sure these are safe Kaa-sensei?", she asked nervously.

"That's a good question Kurenai-chan!"

"YET YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED!"

" Trust Me!"

" YOU SAY THAT FROM OVER THERE!"

"No pain, no gain!"

"THAT'S MY LINE!"

"JUST EAT THE FUCKING PILLS!"

"FINE!" Kurenai yelled back and throwing the pills into her mouth and chewing them before swallowing. The results were instantaneous as she went into a cold sweat as the intense burning sensation went up her throat and into her mouth, nostrils and even eyes. Then it felt like her whole chakra network had molten lava coursing through it. " Kurenai! Do **Karyu Endan**!", Rin shouted quickly.

Kurenai quickly started going through handsigns as her face turned fire engine red. Her fingers landed on Tiger and she inhaled, " **Katon: Karyu Endan!** (Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Bullet)", she exclaimed before blowing out. Everybody on the sidelines couldn't look away as 6 fiery dragons emerged from her technique. They snaked and swirled around each other in a beautiful dance...before finding purchase on the other side of the training field...in a forest.

The forest lit up like dry kindling and started to spread. Asuma decided to speak up, " That would have been really impressive if we didn't all have to run right afterward", he stated to a pale Rin. She nodded before picking up Naruto, and running out to the field and throwing Kurenai over her shoulder, " Training's done back to the house!", she yelled back to the genins who bolted as well. Asuma followed and caught up to her, " Are you sure we should leave it like this?", he asked running alongside her.

"You're right! **Scapegoat no jutsu!**", she exclaimed while sticking her foot out and tripping Asuma. Asuma tumbled and got passed by the other two genins before getting back up, " I don't fucking think so! Get back here Rin!", he yelled before running back at her full charge.

The fire brigade would get there 5 minutes later. The incident was still under investigation.

*Flashback end*

The Amaterasu pills worked a little too well for Kurenai. Rin couldn't figure out if it was some hidden trait in her or if the pills themselves were the cause, but her fire affinity was strong...really, really, strong. Niidaime strong, except a polar opposite. While the Niidaime could do massive water jutsus even without a water source nearby, Kurenai could throw high level fire jutsus without even breaking a sweat. Pun not intended. After the bottle of pills was finished, Kurenai could pull off a **Karyu Endan** with 8 dragons. No Uchiha has even pulled off that many.

Rin estimated that well over half of Kurenai's reserves were purely fire elemental chakra now, which surprisingly is reflected in Kurenai's eyes. Instead of just being red, they seemed more like a hot red ember, smoldering as you looked into them. This in itself seemed to have some benefit because it seemed as though ocular genjutsu didn't work on her anymore. Rin didn't know whether it was accumulated elemental chakra in Kurenai's eyes or some forgotten kekei genkai that had been awakened, but every time during training that Rin tried a genjutsu on Kurenai that affected her sense of sight, it either disrupted instantly, and in some cases, actually reflected back at the caster.

Rin could only see this as a plus for Kurenai at being a genjutsu specialist, yet it seemed like the girl had also taken an, albeit small, interest in her elemental affinity as well. Her current project was to actually integrate them with genjutsu into a combo.

So, all in all Rin could stick by her feelings for the genin. They had progressed to a point they were definitely on their way to chuunin. Now it was time to hand them over to another jounin to start them on missions. As much as she would miss them (and their help around the house), she only signed up to help them recover and get stronger. With a nod of resignment, she pulled Naruto off the nipple he had nabbed while Rin was off in LaLa Land, put him in his basket, and walked onto the field, signaling for the three to stop trying to kill eachother...or training...Rin couldn't tell for sure. Teaching them teamwork wasn't her problem anyways. After they converged to her in their varying states of exhaustion, Rin spoke up.

" Good work guys. Your physical and emotional recovery is complete. I am confident that with your skills and strength, you can easily take on and complete any mission that is thrown at you...unless it's a very misinformed mission with high ranking missing nins, then I'm sure you'll be killed viciously or even tortured mercilessly without the sweet release of dea-",

"KAA-SENSEI!", the three genin cut her off in unison.

Rin knocked on her head as she stuck her toung out sheepishly, " Right, sorry. Anyways it's time for you guys to get your butts back on to the active duty roster. And to do that, we need to find out who your jonin sensei is going to be.", she said to the genin. The genin looked confused, " I thought you were our Jonin sensei Kaa-chan", Nanami spoke up.

Rin shook her head, " I was only to help you recover through your ordeals. I can't be your jounin sensei since I already have a mission to protect and raise Naruto.", she explained. The genin looked downtrodden. " Don't look so glum guys, I'm sure your jounin sensei will be better at leading you than I ever could, and probably better rounded to teach you more as well. Besides, you'll see Asuma and me around the village. So, let's not keep the Hokage waiting", she finished, waving for the genin to follow her as she went back over to the tree to pick up Naruto.

[20 minutes later Hokage Tower]

Rin and the genin were sitting in the reception area. The Hokage was busy settling a dispute between the Inuzuka and Uchiha clan heads, and from the sound of the argument, that could be heard even in the reception area, the Inuzuka dogs were getting loose and shitting in the Uchiha district. Rin and the genin could barely contain their laughter at the argument going on.

" Well at least they're not shitting on your front porch!"

"THEY DID SHIT ON MY FRONT PORCH!"

" Really? Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"WHY YOU!"

This went on for another ten minutes until the Hokage decided to step in and resolve the situation. A few more minutes and an angry looking Fugaku burst through the reception doors and down the steps. A slightly miffed Tsume followed until she saw Rin and her genin sitting in the receptionist area, " Nee-chan, what are you doing here?", she asked curiously.

Rin chuckled, " Besides listening about the dogs trying to fertilize the Uchiha district, I'm here to finish my job and hand off the genin to their jounin sensei.", she replied. Tsume looked sheepish until she heard the last reason, instantly perking up.

" Oh! I'll come with you then. I'd like to know who they get for a sensei", she stated while trying to keep her face straight. Rin just shrugged and got up and walked to the office after getting the okay, the genin and Tsume following behind.

Opening the doors, she found a grumbling Hokage packing his pipe. He looked up to see Rin and her group coming in. He quickly hid the pipe. "Rin-san, what brings you here today. And what made you accompany her Tsume-san?", he asked.

Rin spoke up as she set Naruto's basket into the chair, " I would like to inform you that the genin are emotionally recovered and physically fit to take missions again Hokage-sama", she informed. The Hokage immediately remembered, " Ah yes, that's good to hear, I'm sure their Jounin-sensei is happy to hear that as well", he answered.

Rin perked up, " So their Jounin-sensei has already been decided?. The Hokage nodded, " Oh yes, in fact, she signed on for them almost two months ago", he replied. Tsume looked like she was going to burst and even the genin were starting to get it. Rin on the other hand, " Wow, she must have been pretty eager to get them if she signed up for them that long ago.", Rin replied with raised eyebrows.

The Hokage smiled as he pulled out a few pieces of paper, " Oh, she was. She didn't even read the forms before she signed them", he replied sliding them across the table. Rin looked at the papers, the familiar papers...and started turning blue.

Amongst the bureucratic jargon that made up most of the documents, key sentences could be deciphered amongst it that painted a not so pleasant picture for Rin, mostly because it was her signature in her handwriting on the documents. In layman's terms, it said:

I, Inuzuka Rin, hereby claim the title of Jounin-sensei, and all the responsibilities and obligations it holds, to the genin students Hiroshi , Nanami , and Yuhi Kurenai , on the date of October 25th XXXX. As the Jounin sensei for the parties listed above, I pledge to train and guide them to the best of my abilities until such a time as one or more of the following conditions have been met...

It was a genin team application form, the same one that Minato-sensei had to sign to get them as a team, and the same one she was suckered into signing two months ago. No, not suckered, signed eagerly, but when Rin saw red, she wasn't much for specifics. Now Rin wasn't an aggressive woma-

"FUCKING KAMI DAMN, FLYING SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!"

" GYAHAHAHAHAHA GURK!"

" YOU FUCKING KNEW DIDN'T YOU TSUME! WHY THE COCK SUCKING FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

"GLAHGGLURCKLLAAGH!"

...unless she felt the need to be, which was about as predictable as any Inuzuka woman could be.

Hiruzen was wise enough, and small enough, to hide under his desk while Rin vented her frustration. He could hear Nanami and Hiroshi trying to reason with with Rin while he assumed Kurenai was still covering Naruto's ears from the toxic soup that was coming from Rin's mouth. Suddenly everything went silent. Hiruzen assumed the coast was clear. He peaked up from from his desk, only to almost piss his pants when he saw Rin's face 6 inches from his with a look that said "I'm gonna devour your soul".

He eeped, the Hokage, the God of Shinobi, The Professer, the man that has seen gruesome wars and countless things that could qualify for your worst nightmares, actually eeped. He needed to use his decades of political experience to talk his way out of this one.

"Why" Rin deadpanned

" Umm, because it sounded like a good idea at the time"

...Marvel in his political cunning and devious wit.

"I'm already doing a B-rank mission. How the hell am I supposed to take a genin team on missions too" she deadpanned

"Uh, take him with you"

...His vicious bargaining skills...his...calm, cool demeanor

"You want me...to take a 3 month old infant...on...missions" her demeanor seemed to be worsening.

"Um...mmaybe"

...yeah he was probably going to die. Luckily for him the doors opened.

" Hey pops, I...the hell?" Asuma looked around to see Tsume trying to flatten herself against the wall, Hiroshi and Nanami looking hesitant to approach Rin, who was hanging over his dad's desk staring at something behind it. Kurenai, who was holding Naruto, decided to back up and fill him in.

"Kaa-chan just found out that she signed on to be our actual Jounin instructor, and that she has to take us on missions and stuff", she supplied to the confused chunin. Asuma eyebrows lifted, " Oh. That ain't so bad" he replied. Rin twitched and swung around to face Asuma, " Not so bad! I'm already taking care of Naruto!", she growled at the chunin.

Asuma, who had spent too much time with Rin to be too perturbed by her dark side just shrugged, " So, take him with you" he responded just like his father, except without the fear of death. Rin didn't seem convinced, " Take an infant on shinobi missions! Missions that put the genin's lives in danger let alone his!", she fired back.

Asuma nodded, " True, so you wouldn't be doing any B-ranks since those would be too dangerous. C-ranks, though, wouldn't. Little to no chance of enemy shinobi, usually escorting civilians which are, let's face it, about as helpless as an infant anyways, and good experience for the genin. Hell, you could even make a cool little armored baby harness for him. And, there's plenty of C-ranks that you can take your pick of the safest. Problem solved, right pops?", he called to the Hokage who was currently trying to escape out the window.

The Hokage looked like a deer caught in headlights, before quickly gaining his composure, " YES! Of course it is! That's what I had planned all along. In fact Asuma can even go with you on some for extra protection!", he exclaimed while grinning.

Asuma smirked, " See? Nothing to worry about. So, go home, relax, and I'll come over with takeout and we can discuss how it's gonna all work later", he said with as much charm as he could without looking like a clown. Rin visibly relaxed and resigned herself to the situation, "Alright guys, looks like I'm stuck with you gakis until you make chunin", she said to the genin.

"YATTA! We get to keep Kaa-chan!" they shouted in unison. Rin looked at them cockeyed, " Keep? What the hell am I? A pet-O-Oi! Stop hugging me! You smell like sweat and dirt!", she complained as she tried to pry off the gein. After the antics subsided, she nabbed up Naruto, and peeled her sister off the wall before leaving the office with the genin following behind, chatting amongst themselves.

Asuma and Hiruzen just watched on. Once the doors shut, Hiruzen breathed a deep sigh of relief before plopping down into his chair and nabbing his pipe up. Asuma quirked an eyebrow, " Hey pops, how much of that did you smoke before she-"

" Enough. I had to deal with Fugaku so I got a head start. Kami, I haven't seen a face that scary since I accidentally started your grandmother's garden on fire when I was 11.", he replied, cutting off Asuma while lighting up the pipe. Asuma chuckled, " Yeah, she's can be a handful when she needs to be", he said to his father.

"I never expected her to react like that", he said as he looked off into the distance. Asuma's face became retrospective, " She's become pretty protective of Naruto lately. Especially after what happened with that attempted kidnapping. Maybe she didn't just get her last name from her adopted family ", Asuma mused.

" She thinks of him as her own pup?" the Hokage supplied, gaining a nod from Asuma. "Possibly. You might have a hell of a time trying to take Naruto away from her once the mission has ended", he replied with a smirk, causing the Hokage to shudder. The buzz wasn't even enough to stave off the feeling of dread when that day came. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it", he stated.

Asume nodded lazily, before snapping into action, " Well, I have takeout I need to get, and possibly a lady in need of a good massage", he proclaimed as he almost tapdanced out of the Hokage office. Hiruzen couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of Asuma going after Rin, except the chuckle was hysterical. It seems Sarutobi men had a curse of going after some of the scariest...or strongest women in the village, he didn't know which. Maybe his future grandchildren will be a better indicator.

Finishing his thoughts he pulled out an orange book and relit his pipe. He had a few hours before his next appoinment anyways.

?

It's been a while I know, and yes, Naruto still isn't the main protagonist...YET. It will come. Here's some Omake's to make you feel better

*Omake ONE*

Asuma opened the map drawer in his father's filing cabinet and deposited the topographical maps back to where they belong. He had to hand it to Hiroshi, he had a knack for thinking up strategies when given a scenario. He wasn't 200 steps ahead like a Nara would be, but his creativity and his energetic attitude trumped it. He was a tactical thinker. A good mix between a long term strategist and a short term strategist.

Long term strategists like the Nara usually needed time to think up their strategy, and short term strategists usually thought up less cunning strategies in the thick of battle. Both had their weaknesses. A tactical strategist came up with a better plan than a short term strategist, in less time and in a more disruptive environment than a long term strategist. His uncanny knack to use geography to his advantage as well gave him a good one up on the competition as well.

Add his meele skills, trap skills, and his budding sealing skills, he was going to dominate the chuunin exams the next time he went. Shutting the drawer, he let himself out of the office and went on his way home.

Sarutobi just got out of a particularly nasty council session. ' I swear, I should just have them all assassinated and be done with it' he thought darkly as he opened the door to his office.

Just before he got to sit down into his nice comfy chair, a messenger burst through the door, " Hokage-sama. Shadow 12 has reported activity in sector E-34 in Rock Country. He says their current heading leads them to sector H-12 of the border.", the messenger told the groaning Hokage.

"Sector E-34", the Hokage repeated thoughtfully before going to his map drawer and pulling out the map with the appropriate region.

"Let's see" he said to himself as he unrolled the map...and paused. " ...Apparently he's tracking the Dumbass Army heading towards these two mountains that look like a pair of boobs. It's no wonder he can see them because apparently he's in the Tower of Isengard, so he should also be able to see the 10 mile tall Tsuchikage that's breathing fire on the northern mountain range of Grass country..."

"..." the messenger stayed silent.

Just leaving the Hokage tower, Asuma was wondering where he should eat for dinner when it struck," WHO THE HELL HAS BEEN DRAWING ON MY MAPS?", he heard his father shout, causing the whole tower to shake. Asuma quickened his pace to just shy of running. Next time he and Hiroshi should probably use a pencil.

*Omake TWO*

Rin laid in bed with an irritated look on her face. Kurenai wasn't faring much better but at least she tried to drown out the noise. The noise they were forced to listen to were the sounds of Nanami and Hiroshi having sex coming through the vent registers in the wall that seemed to have gotten louder in the past weeks. It didn't bother them at first because it would only last for a little while, but NOW. Now it has been going on for two hours!

And Rin had had enough, as their Jounin sensei, she was going to lay down the law dammit! She quickly got dressed and marched towards their room. Before she got there she could hear a final grunt and cry, ' Third one in a row ya damn overachievers' she thought jealously before swinging the door open without even knocking.

What she was greeted with was...an empty room. 'Where the hell are they?' she wondered before something dropped onto her head. ' Is the roof leaking?' she thought as she wiped her fingers in whatever dropped on her head. It was sticky, and slimy...almost like... " Hell no!" she exclaimed before looking up, Hiroshi and Nanami's attention perked up and looked...down. All parties went pale.

"GYAAAAAAHH!" All parties screamed. Then Hiroshi and Nanami lost their concentration and fell, naked, on top of Rin.

That was the sight Kurenai walked in on when she investigated the scream and a cherry red blush was her reaction.

10 minutes later found all three genin and one fuming Jounin downstairs in the living room, " So that's your secret? You've been having sex on the ceiling?", Rin shouted. Hiroshi and Nanami nodded, embarrassingly. If Rin was in a better mood she would applaud the ingeniousness of it in it's exercise of both chakra control and chakra capacity. It was one thing to cling to a surface with your feet, it was another to cling you back to a surface...or your hands and knees...or your shoulders.

But as it was, Rin was sleep deprived and her back hurt like hell, " Where the hell did you even come up with something like that?", she shouted.

"Tsume-san", the duo replied nonchalantly. Rin's expression deadpanned. She should have known. " I'll be back" she stated in monotone as she left through the front door in nothing but her sleepwear.

Tiger and Ox were on patrol that night. Many Anbu didn't like doing midnight patrol but Tiger found it to be relaxing, and Ox liked to be with his family during the afternoon. So all in all it worked out for both of them. Not much happened during night patrol except for the infrequent intruder or late night scuffle. That's not to say that a few interesting things don't pop up now and then.

Tiger and Ox were currently patrolling 4 blocks south of the Inuzuka compound when they heard a disturbance. Quickly jumping to the roof closest to it, they stopped and observed before taking a course of action. They didn't know what to do when they did though.

" I swear whatever it is I didn't do it Nee-chan! I'm too young to die! Think of my children!", the Inuzuka clan matriarch pleaded.

What they found was Inuzuka Tsume being drug by her leg down the road, in nothing but a camisole and a thong, as she clung fruitlessly to a poor bush that had been uprooted and was being dragged along for the ride. Looking closer, the Anbu discovered the abductor was none other than Inuzuka Rin in what looked like a teddy and a thong as well. She would have been sexy if not for the angry scowl on her face, though some can even find that sexy.

" Ox"

"Yeah Tiger"

" Is that Rin dragging her sister down the road?"

"Yup"

"Do we stop her"

"Nope"

"Inuzuka business?"

"Yep"

"Hey! I see you Anbu up there! Help me! She has the look of the devil in her eyes! DON'T JUST WAVE AT ME YOU STUPID FUCKS! AAAAGGGGH!", Tsume screamed as she was drug around a corner, out of view of Tiger and Ox.

" Interesting night" Tiger proclaimed.

"Yup" Ox agreed before they went off to the next part of their route.

Meanwhile all the bush was thinking was thinking was, " This is much more fun than the last time!". Many people believe that, had they known why the bush thought that, they would have a much better grasp on how the world came to be the way it was today.

*Omake 3*

[December 18th]

Kurenai waved her two teammates and Kaa-chan goodbye as she volunteered to watch over Naruto while they went for groceries and other things. Once they were on their way, she quickly closed the door and made her way to the bedroom. Stripping off her clothes, and her annoyingly wet panties she quickly made her way for the toys she had stashed under the mattress.

She couldn't understand it, she had become increasingly horny in the past couple weeks. It got to a point that the washing machine didn't do it for her, then it got to a point not even her vibrator could handle. Kurenai shut the vibrating nipple clamps on with a twitch of pain and then turned them on. The soreness and pleasure from them turned her on immensely but it wasn't enough. She grabbed up the vibrating buttplug, and with a generous amount of lubrication, clenched her teeth and slowly pushed it into her expanding ass until the flare caught.

She concentrated on breathing for a while until the dull pain subsided. Then she turned it on, the results were instantaneous. She could feel her asshole twitch and her stomach vibrate turning her insides into a very nice feeling, but it still wasn't enough to quell the fire. She grabbed up the vibrating rabbit and plunged it into her twithing pussy, quickly bringing it up to it's maximum setting before pumping it desperately in and out of her with her hand. She flipped onto her back with her legs folded in the air, as she grabbed the vibrator with both hands and pumped it even more furiously. Her breathing became heavy and the feeling throbbed like a 2nd degree burn as she plunged the dildo in and out as deep as she could. But...IT WASN'T ENOUGH!

She was starting to tear up because she couldn't get the feeling to subside. In desperation, she threw the vibrator off to the side and made her way to "The Closet", the buttplug and nipple clamps still buzzing away. There had to be something in there that would do it. She rifled through all the toys of different shapes, sizes, and uses until she came across two items. Nylon rope and a book. She looked at the book. "The Art of Self Bondage". She skimmed through it until she found one that made her shiver. It was labeled "The Boa Constrictor". It tightened the more your struggled, but it was releasable by the user.

Quickly and rashly coming to a decision she tucked the book and rope under her arm and went for a few other accessories before shutting the door.

10 minutes later found her in a very intricate position. She was laying on her stomach. A weavework of rope went across her frame before concentrating and disappearing into her crotch were a bit of the end of a studded vibrator could be seen behind the ropes. The ropes reappeared from the crevice of her ass where they held in the vibrating buttplug from her earlier escapade and weaved around her back and front before coming to an intricate loop that she was currently wiggling her hands into in a reverse prayer position, and ending looped around just below her shoulders. Her legs were folded in half and tied tightly that way, and then tethered intricately to a bitgag head harness she had put on.

As drool started leaking out from the bit in her mouth, she focused her effort on her current goal and pulled her hands back, snaring them in the previously loose loop. Now it was complete, all she had to do was struggle a bit to get them tight. She wiggled and tested the ropes, feeling them tighten around her as her leg tether and head harness were pulled taught, her hand pulled tightly into a true reverse prayer, and her body harness tightened, causing the vibrators to be pushed deeper into her gushing tunnels and budding breasts to jut out proudly despite their angrily buzzing tormentors, still clamped to her nipples.

The feeling for Kurenai was indescribable. The helplessness, the constriction, in conjunction with the vibrators, she could feel the coil in her stomach quickly tightening as she struggled a bit more, pulling everything in tighter. With that final push she felt the coil snap and sent jolts of electrified pleasure across her body. A dozen or so seconds later she finally regained lucidity, after all the frustration and then the mind blowing orgasm. She turned her head to the open book on the bed to read the technique to get out of her binds.

'To release the binds, all you have to do is pull on the rope that is in your hands from step 5...' she paled. 'I skipped step 5 because it said it was optional!' she thought frantically. She struggled a bit but that wasn't doing a damn thing for her. She tried the rope escape jutsu, it didn't work on shibari though, it was too complex.

'My kunai holster! If I can get to it...' she thought as she looked over at the nightstand in the corner where it hung. She started wiggling her way across the bed towards it, but quickly realized that every few inches she wiggled towards it, the ropes would get even tighter. By the time she stopped, her legs and head were pulled painfully into a bow shape, a burning pain in her hips and neck only aided by the bit gag as it was pulled painfully deeper into her jaw by the tether.

Her hands were pulled up almost to the top of her shoulder blades, and her shoulders felt like they were on the verge of dislocation. Her body harness became like a real Boa Constrictor, as it was tightened severely to her chest, limiting how much she could breath, this was less of a problem than the fact the crotch rope had constricted and dug into her crotch harshly, and Kurenai could feel the dildo in her pussy pushing painfully against her cervix.

Two new sensations joined the others, pain and fear. She teared up as she looked desperately with her limited range of vision for something she could cut the ropes with. Spying a kunai sticking out under Rin's pillow, Kurenai slowly inched her way towards the pillow, trying not to constrict the ropes anymore. Had she been more observant, she would have felt the familiar feeling tighteng tighter than ever before. She was a foot away from the Kurenai when she found out her efforts were for not as the body harness tightened even further, which caused the evil vibrator to pierce her cervix, erupting her abdomen in newfound pain.

"GUUUGH!" she cried out before the tightening snapped violently and her entire body spasmed in an orgasm worthy of Kami herself. Her eyes rolled into her head and she lost control of her bladder, soaking the ropes and the sheets below her. 5 minutes passed before she regained awareness. Just enough to hear someone walking up the stairs.

"Rin? Where the heck are you?" Asuma called as he looked through the house. He looked into Naruto's room to see the infant wriggling in his crib. Asuma walked over and picked him up, " Well if you're here, where the heck is everybody else?", he asked the infant. "gyahgyahgyahgyah" the infant responded while clapping his hands together.

" Is that so?", Asuma replied before pausing and shaking his head. Continuing on his way with Naruto in tow, he made his way towards Rin's bedroom. Maybe she was taking a nap.

"Ringggccckk", he chocked at the scene that assaulted him when he came in before blood started drippling out of his nose.

"H-h-huggh heeea!", Kurenai cried out in exhaustion through the gag.

10 minutes later found Asuma with a tissue stuck in his nose, with Naruto in one hand, and a book he found in the other, sitting on one of the couches. A miserable Kurenai sat on the adjacent couch with a bluish tint to her face and wrapped up in a blanket.

"I can see where it went wrong. Who the hell would put the release technique under optional", he tried lightening the mood as he read the steps with a cherry red blush and new blood seeping into the tissue. "gyahgyahgyahgyaaah" was Narutos comforting words.

Kurenai sunk deeper into her blanket, " C-could you just pretend you didn't see anything?", she groaned. Asuma smirked," Oh I definitely saw something, alot of things actually...buuut I can keep it to myself. So can Naruto, isn't that right?", he asked the infant. "boboboha", Naruto said before bringing his hands to his mouth.

" See?", said to Kurenai, who was trying in vain to hold back a smile. " Thanks", she said softly while looking at the floor. " No problem. Well, since Rin isn't here to bug, I'll come back tomorrow. I think this is yours he said putting the book on the coffee table and handing Naruto to Kurenai. He looked at her arms as she took the infant, " You might wanna cover those up until the disappear", he said pointing to the rope marks that were ingrained into her wrists. She could only imagine what the rest of her body looked like.

Asuma chuckled as Kurenai darted up the steps to find some concealing clothes, the infant giggling in her arms at the fun ride he was on. After Kurenai disappeared, he lit a cigarette and made his way out of the house.

2 hours later Rin, Hiroshi, and Nanami came home with a shitload of groceries. " Alright guys, start putting them away-Hiroshi! Put down that can of cheese!", she barked at the genin. " NO MINE!", he stated with a mouth full of cheese as he held the chan tightly to his shoulder. "Cheese or dinner, your choice", Rin retorted. Hiroshi looked like someone just kick his puppy.

His lips trembled as he slowly handed the can over to Rin who quickly snatched it up, then waving the genin towards the kitchen. After they started, she shot the nozzle of the can into her open mouth before hearing rustling moving out of the laundry room. She turned around to see Kurenai coming out of the laundry room with a bundle of linen. Kurenai flinched when she spied Rin looking at her but quickly regained her composure, " H-hey Kaa-chan. What took you guys so long?", she asked with a plastered smile.

The smile that was supposed to deviate suspicion was ill suited for Kurenai, as it only made her look deranged and psychotic, " U-um, we went to a few different stores to get the cheapest prices...is..is that my turtleneck sweater?", Rin asked cautiously. "Yeah, hope you don't mind. It's a little chilly so I decided to dress warm", Kurenai supplied cheerfully as she rubbed the back of her head with a hand totally covered by an oversize sleeve. It would have looked cute if not for the black shinobi cargo pants that she was wearing as well. She looked more like she was going to war or something.

"Umm, yeah, it is a little chilly. So, how is Naruto?", Rin asked suspiciously. Kurenai waved a floppy sleeve at Rin, " He fell asleep after I fed him an hour ago and has been there since. Then I decided to wash the sheets for the bed since they haven't been in a while. Anyways I better get these back on the bed.", she chirped. Rin had enough blackmail on her already, Kurenai sure as hell wasn't going to suffer this.

Rin just quirked her eyebrow at Kurenai as she made her way to the steps. 'Is she limping?' Rin thought before shaking her head and plopping down on the couch. Once she opened her eyes again she noticed a book on the coffee table she hadn't seen before. Picking it up, she instantly turned red. " The Art of Self Bondage" was the title, right where Asuma set it two hours ago. Something dawned on Rin and she looked back at the steps where Kurenai was moments ago, then back at the cover of the book.

'Concealing clothes, messy bedsheets...*snort*' Rin thought, trying to stiffle her laughter. She tucked the book into her pocket before making her way into the kitchen.

A few hours later found it to be time for bed. Rin walked into the room in her nightgown only to see Kurenai climbing into bed in the same clothes she wore earlier. Rin tried to keep her face straight, " You're going to bed in them too Kurenai-chan?", she asked, startling the girl. "Uh...yeah, that way I'm ready for tomorrow's training", Kurenai lied. Rin nodded, " Oh" she faked remembering before walking over to Kurenai, " You forgot your book on the coffee table" she said as she removed her previously hidden hand from behind her back, presenting the book to the genin.

Kurenai took one look and turned beet red, before snatching it up and covering her head with the covers, " Kaa-chan hidoi!", she wailed as Rin burst out in laughter. 'It's just too much fun to tease them' Rin thought as she got into her part of the bed. Her next thought was one of confusion.

'Why the hell does my ass feel damp?'

*Omake 4*

'What a day' Rin thought as she laid in bed waiting for the exhaustion of the day to take her. So, now she was stuck with a genin team, and they would soon be going on missions. And with Naruto no less. Rin figured this day couldn't get any more frustrating since it was practically over anyways. Covering herself up to her shoulders, she closed her eyes and started to nod off.

Kurenai, on the other side of the bed, was struggling to find a comfortable position. Failing her arms in frustration, she accidentally his a button in the frilly headboard. She heard a metal click and the whir of an electric motor before the bed started revolving like a mary-go-round. She shot straight up in confusion which of course woke up Rin. Rin opened her eyes only to see the room spinning around, " W-what the hell?", she shouted as she shot straight up as well, which didn't bode well since she had essentially wrapped herself in the blankets.

It caused her to lose balance and be thrown off the bed, still wrapped up in the sheets. The ride would have ended there had the other end of the sheets not snagged a bondage shackle that had been previously tucked under the mattress and dragged her mummified body into the wall before the sheets teared away.

Kurenai frantically looked for a way to get off the bed. Who the hell thought it was a good idea for it to spin that fast?

This was the scene that Hiroshi came upon after he woke from the noise. Flipping the switch closest to him, disco lights revealed a scared shitless Kurenai on a wildly spinning bed. Hiroshi went wide eyed, " The bed's possessed! I'll save you Kurenai!", he proclaimed valiantly as he ran towards the bed, only to lose his balance as he tried to step onto the bed.

This was the scene Nanami was greeted with when she stepped into the room. Hiroshi atop a scantily clad Kurenai on top of a revolving bed with disco lights and romantic music. Now Nanami wasn't one to to jump to conclu- " YOU CHEATING SON OF A BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU!", she screamed as she pounced onto the bed.

...ok so I lied.

Rin laid in the corner staring at the scene on top of the bed before her brain rebooted. And it sure as hell wasn't in safe mode. She had spied the controls that Kurenai must have hit and came to the conclussion that she was mad...pissed...rage...primal rage. Tearing herself out of the sheets she quickly slammed the off button, causing the genin to slide off the bed and fall into a heap on the floor.

There they sat as they watched Rin pull out kunai and throw them at didffent parts of the room where they were met with electric sparks and the smoldering of what appeared to be speakers. They then watched as Rin tore the disco ball from the ceiling and drop kicked it through a closed window. Unkownst to them it would be found by a group of angry women, 30 miles away, right next to a white haired pervert with a large lump growing out of his head outside of the women's section of an onsen. He would have many more injuries soon enough.

With all of that taken care of, Rin grabbed up the shredded sheets and got back into bed before covering herself. That would have been good and all to the genin, had she not been staring wide eyed at them as she laid there, like she was trying to will them to burst into flames. All three genin quickly skuttled across the floor and out of the room before closing the door.

"Um...do you guys mind if I sleep with you tonight?", Kurenai asked quietly. Hiroshi and Nanami just shook their heads still looking at the door.


	10. Your Momma

Many people might think bringing a baby with on shinobi missions would be a psychotic idea. And, considering the nature of the shinobi structure and mindset in this day and age, they would be right. That being the Ninja Village and all the ideals it upholds, " Will of fire', "protect the future generations", " teamwork is key" and the less known but blatantly obvious " Quantity over quality" .

But if one were to share these concepts with a shinobi before the great villages, well he'd call you a weakling and probably piss on your shoes. Back in the feudal days where the clan structure was the norm, " Quality over qantity" was law. Clans didn't survive by having alot of weak children which wouldn't pull their weight in a battle. No, only the strongest survived. Shinobi born children were introduced to conflict before even coming off the mother's tit, who usually only had a four month leave during the last term of their pregnancy where they weren't capable of filling a role in the shinobi ranks of the clan.

After the birth and once the baby was strong enough, both the mother and child would be sent on missions, albeit safer ones than had the mother been alone. The idea of this was that exposing the children to shinobi life so early would make them stronger should they survive to see clan training. Many earlier leaders of the world have went through such a "Babtism by fire", including Senju's Hashirama and Tobirama, and even " The Professor" himself, Sarutobi Hiruzen.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the practice ceased once the villages were founded and civilian shinobi started flooding the ranks, leading the clans to settle and change their views to a more peaceful view. One lucky or unlucky infant, though, would experience such a baptism first hand , albeit on a very less dangerous mission. After all, they were only helping a tailor and his family move from the capital to Konoha. How dangerous could it be? His caretaker had other ideas.

"Are you sure this is the best armor you could find?", Rin asked frettingly, scrutinizing the contraption they had built as Asuma continued fastening it to her. Asuma growled to himself from behind and below Rin before he answered, " Rin, this is triple layered case hardened steel. An Iron Country Samurai has less protection, and YOU have much less protection." He chided her.

She furrowed her brow at him, " _I_ am a jounin with lot's of experience, and Naruto is-"

" Going to be attached to the jounin with lots of experience, so relax", Asuma cut off her rant before it picked up momentum...again.

RIn grumbled to herself instead, " What the hell kinda person brings an infant with them on missions?", she complained. Asuma snorted a moment before answering.

" From what I've heard, they used to do it before the villages popped up because they thought it made them better shinobi in the long run", he explained as he fastened down another strap. Rin eyebrow quirked, " Who the hell told you something like that?".

Asuma seemed to go into a trance

(Flashback)

A seven year old Asuma was in his father's office listening intently, " T-they really did that back then pops?", Asuma asked in astonishment.

"Yes they did. Even I underwent such a thing. So if you do something like this again, I'M STRAPPING YOU TO AN ANBU AND SENDING HIM ON A SUICIDE MISSION!", shouted a bald Hokage with smoke still wafting off of his recently vacated cranium.

(End flashback)

Asuma chuckled to himself, " His hairline never really did recover", he stated before going back to fastening the carrier down. Rin turned her head back with a look of total confusion as to who the hell he was talking about.

"And, done", he proclaimed as the last strap was adjusted. Rin shifted in it a bit before turning to the three genin sitting on the couch.

"What do you...think...guys?", she slowed at seeing the genins' reactions. Hiroshi was blushing furiously and so was...Kurenai? Nanami was shifting her gaze between Rin and her...chest...with what looked like envy. Rin turned to Asuma, who hadn't, for some reason, stood up yet.

"...Well...it does tend to emphasize your breasts Rin-chan", he explained to the confused Kunoichi. With wide eyes, Rin opened the closet door to look in the mirror. Rin wasn't humongous by the scale of a pervert...or a sanin for that matter, but she could definitely compete with a Hyuuga if she tried, her breasts being somewhere in the high C's. Unfortunately...or fortunately, they worked in tandem with the amored baby carrier that essentially acted as a bustless corset, pouring over it for all to see...and others to leer. Rin's reaction was obvious for a girl of her caliber.

"Gah! I look like some 200 ryou hooker from the red light district!", she shouted at her reflection. Asuma finally shot up from his position.

"That is utter nonsense! A hooker with those assets cost five times as much BAM!"

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!", she roared as she nailed Asuma on the top of his head, sending him back down to the floor.

"Come on Rin. It...doesn't look that noticeable, and I'm sure that once Naruto is in it, his head will distract any other attention.", he tried to calm the kunoichi who was currently having face spasms while reevaluating herself in the mirror.

Noticing it wasn't working too well, he quickly shut the closet door and went to go get Naruto. A moment later he came back with the infant and shanghaied Kurenai into helping him get Naruto strapped into the harness.

Once all was said and done, Asuma and Kurenai stepped back with the other two genin to see. The front of the harness was 3 plates of steel with layers of rubber between, and all woven into a cloth skin with padding on the inside. The front was also linked with the chest plate of the harness transferring any kinetic force to Rin before Naruto. The arm and leg protection were just as impressive, sporting heavy leather tubes overlayed with woven wire mesh. There were no openings for his hands or feet, but considering he was a baby, it wasn't too important.

All in all, for the favors Asuma called in for this, it was definitely baby protection to the highest degree. Of course, his head was unprotected, but considering his head's position right between Rin's breasts, he had plenty of back and side cushioning.

Asuma could only jealously pout at Naruto's luck. The genin had a different reaction. Rin snapped out of her not so happy land to glare at Hiroshi, who had just snorted, thereby noticing all three genin trying to stifle their laughter.

"What?" she asked in a huff. Nanami spoke up," It looks like something out of a science fiction movie. Like Naruto is the pilot of some Super Kaa-chan robot", Nanami said earning a covered snort from Kurenai. Hiroshi had other ideas.

"Start the reactor. Free Mars!", He groaned out softly, earning a jab from Nanami as she burst into laughter with the other two.

Rin put on a pout, " HaHa! Won't be funny when you're taking turns carrying my pack", she threatened, turning their laughter into choking noises. They knew how heavy a jounin's pack could be, especially Hiroshi and Nanami.

Feeling she got her compensation, Rin walked back to the closet and opened it again to look in the mirror. When she did, her victorious smirk fell. It DID look like that. Mustering up the last of her dignity, she turned back to the genin.

"Alright guys, get packed for a week long mission….what is it Kurenai-chan?", she asked the genin raising her hand.

"So that means we can go buy our packs and supplies now?" she asked. Rin sweatdropped. In her hassle to get the harness, she forgot the genin needed supplies.

"Uh, yes. You know which store to go to. Be back in an hour.", she replied, passing out what was left of the stipend for them. Sometimes she honestly felt like the whole bunches mother….." And don't buy the most expensive stuff! The moderately priced stuff will go just as far!", she bellowed after them.

(2 hours later)

Once the genin came back and packed, they headed for the Gates. After an embarrassing equipment check, they signed out at the gate station, and made their way towards their destination at a quickened pace to make time.

All, the while, Naruto was taking to the shifts and bumps of Shinobi travel fairly well. Rin didn't know whether it was the mixture of sights, sounds and feel,…..or just the fact his head was snuggled between her breasts, but Naruto had been asleep most of the journey thus far.

The genin were all energetic and cheerful. Considering this was their first mission out of the village in months, Rin didn't need to ponder why too hard. Though Hiroshi's excitement overshadowed the others as he talked their ears off about his vast knowledge.

" And that's why a battle against Iwa nin would be advantageous for on forested, alluvial hills. Now, if it was Kumo nin-".

Rin snorted to herself, ' Where the hell was he during the Third Shinobi War? They could have used him instead of the idiots who lead their teams into bare open fields and terrain with exposed rock' she thought retrospectively.

Clearing the thoughts from her head, she looked to the sun to see it was close to sunset. With a signal to the genin and Asuma, they made their way out of the trees and to the ground. "Alright guys, we've made good time, so we're going to set up camp here. Nanami, go find something we can cook unless you want to eat rations for dinner. Kurenai, go pitch the tents. Hiroshi, go use your geographical expertise to find us some firewood. I'm going to get rid of the load Naruto dropped an hour ago since I'm sick of smelling it. Asuma, hand me over my pack", she ordered everyone. The three genins mock saluted and zipped off as Asuma handed over her pack. Hiroshi was carrying it, but the extra weight made him miss a tree branch earlier and Rin didn't feel like treating another concussion, so she handed it off to Asuma for the rest of the trip.

Asuma had the muscles to carry it and his pack….damn did he have muscles. Rin shook her head clear of that event and went back to changing the toxic mess that was currently on Naruto. Asuma…just made himself scarce while she worked on that

2 hours later found them all around a campfire. Nanami had somehow caught a deer, saying it pretty much just sat and stared at her. So the first hour had been Asuma cutting it up into steaks and Rin preparing dinner…the second hour was a little more hectic.

*Furashubacku*

Rin was tapping her foot wondering where the hell Hiroshi was as Asuma talked to her, " That thing was huge. It'll last us the rest of the mission, AND half way into next year.", he emphasized as he cleaned his trench knife. Nanami had a cocky smile on her face. "Maybe we should take it to the taxidermy so we can mount the head on the wall.", she said enthusiastically. "Pfft. No way in hell I'm having a deer head staring at me from the living room every day", Rin lightheartedly chastised. All in all a casual conversation.

That was all about to change as a rustling came towards them. Hiroshi popped out of the foliage with a bundle of wood…..and a sign? Rin peered at the sign before going ash white.

" Hey! I never knew the Nara had clan grounds out this far. Maybe if we're lucky we'll get to see some of their….deeeeeeeer", he trailed off as he looked at the blood and flesh ridden skeleton of what was obviously a buck. Asuma, had a look of horror on his face and Nanami looked ready to cry. Kurenai popped out of a tent, " There, all the tents are up" she huffed.

" Take them down!", Rin ordered hysterically. "NANI?", Kurenai shouted frustratingly.

"We need to get the hell out of here! Asuma, bury the remains! The rest of you guys, pick up camp and move!", she barked.

"Where?", Kurenai snapped.

Rin pointed to where Hiroshi came out of the foliage, " A mile on the other side of where that sign came from!", she commanded.

*flashback end*

So in the end, it took them another hour to repitch camp a mile and a half away from where they started, all the while Rin was grumbling about undependable maps.

Once their camp was resettled, Rin cooked up some of the meat they had sealed. They didn't know whether it was just the flavor of the deer, or the mental idea that it was poached, but it was damn delicious.

After dinner, they all turned in for the night, never to speak of the incident again.

Bright and early the next morning, Rin and Asuma gave the genin an impromptu course in campsite concealment and hiding one's trail. Of course, these were expert demonstrations, and observation only for the genin.

After Rin and Asuma's paranoia was sated, the group regained their bearings and headed for the capital at top speed.

It took them only another day to get there. The trio of genin were astounded at the sheer size of the capital. It was easily twice the size of Konoha, had more shops, more restaurants, more everything! But what was most impressive was the Fire Daimyo's castle, which easily dwarfed any other structure in the city.

"Sugoi! It makes the Hokage Tower look like our house!", Kurenai commented incredulously upon seeing the structure.

Rin snorted, " Trust me, when you reach Jounin, you'll see which pales against which", she said knowingly. The genin could only guess at what she meant as she lead the group into the city.

After a few arguments between Rin and Asuma about the directions, they found the shop. Of course when Rin wrote the report later, she would state they found it easily. Luckily for the genin, the tailor had already stored most of the small, more tedious items, and all that was left was the more bulky items, that the team found out, wouldn't need to be ready to move until tomorrow when they were done with the paperwork for their lease, transfer, change of address, and all the stuff ninja hated.

"My apologies Rin-san, but we didn't expect you would get here so fast. You….must have been running here awfully fast.", the young wife of the tailor said as her violet eyes shifted from Rin to Naruto.

Guessing on her unspoken question, Rin spoke up, " Something on your mind Miss…?".

The woman looked at Rin sheepishly before speaking up, "Gomen, It's Miyumi. It's just, I didn't expect Konoha to send a new mother on a mission. It seems a little dangerous for him don't you think?" the young…and very pregnant, now that Rin looked, woman asked.

A very wise and insightful question, as glaringly obvious as the answer was. The answer was yes, as Rin had initially pointed out at the beginning. But in retrospect, it wasn't that easy. With the current affairs going on in Konoha, it wasn't as simple as it used to be. With half the shinobi force gone, things were very out of whack. Genin, fresh out of the academy were bundled haphazardly into cells, given CHUNIN senseis, and sent right into missions, and with D-rank missions nonexistent, and the more sane team leaders clamoring for C-ranks, it left little up to the imagination what they were being sent on. It also didn't help that there were no failing genin teams this year, which meant dysfunctional teams were on active duty. Not only that, retired shinobi and even clan heads were being reactivated. Tsume had been reinstated three days ago

So all in all, an Anbu level Jounin with a baby strapped to her leading a genin team around was one of the much less hopeless situations right now considering that at least half of the new teams with chunin leading them would be dead before their fourth mission.

Of course, divulging such information was equivalent to suicide, considering if a foreign power were to find out. So Rin swallowed her pride, " Well, you know, a single kunoichi mother just trying to keep the bills paid and not give up my son at the same time. Plus my team is taking missions like this so might as well take him with me instead of trying to pay money for someone to watch him one or two weeks at a time", she lied through her sheepish smile.

The wife put her hands to her mouth, " Oh! You poor dear! I'm so sorry for bringing up such a dreadful thing. It must have been terrible for you to lose your husband right after having a baby. You show such dedication", the wife said scooping up Rin in an awkward hug with Naruto stuck in the middle. Naruto didn't seem to be complaining too much about being mashed up between two sets of big breasts, with the new set being definitely bigger.

Rin, on the other hand, was flustered, " U-uhh….yeah. Thank you Miyumi-san", she replied nervously. For a civilian, the woman had a damn good grip. Asuma gave her a knowing smirk before returning to the 200lb behemoth of a sewing machine.

The woman let go, and pushed a pink lock out of her face," Not at all Rin-san, I hope better times are upon you soon. Anyways, I should go see what my husband is doing. If you want to start packing things up early there shouldn't be a problem", she replied and left to a back room.

With the awkward situation out of the way, Rin ordered the genin to help pack the family's house up so they could move out quicker tomorrow morning.

A few hours later, pretty much everything was packed. Rin had let the genin go see the city for a few hours, though it troubled her that they directly ran towards what Rin though she remembered as the shadier part of town. Asuma had talked her into getting something to eat, so they headed to the district with the best choices for restaurants.

After finding a nice little restaurant, they sat down at an outside table and a waitress came to them moments later and placed menus down. Rin was fussing over Naruto, who was out of the armored carrier and in a much more comfortable stroller, before she decided to poke fun at Asuma.

"You know Asuma, a lot of people could misinterpret this as a date", she said with a sly smirk.

He smirked as well, but didn't look up from his menu, " True, but I think people are more prone to misinterpret it as two new parents at a restaurant with their son", he retorted.

Rin looked down at the infant and snorted, " Maybe as an adoption. He doesn't have either of our eye or hair colors. Nah, I'm leaning towards date between a single mother and her new boyfriend", she replied with a nod of confidence.

Asuma thought for a while, " Alright, let's bet on it. I'm sure the waitress will be the deciding factor. Whoever loses pays the bill", he stated raising his water glass.

Rin smirked, " Alright smartass, I'll take you up on that", she said raising her glass as well. As they began to drink from them, the waitress came back.

"Sorry for the wait, are you and your son ready to order?".

The next two minutes, the couple spent evacuating the water they inhaled through fits of coughing and chest pounding. The waitress felt like she was about to get an ass chewing. Naruto just found the funny scene entertaining.

[An hour and a half later]

The three genin chatted amongst themselves animatedly as they made their way to the hotel room that Rin had gave them, their hands occupied by opaque plastic sacks along with a few others. They were ambushed as soon as they entered the room.

"Guys! Tell me! Do I look old? TELL ME I DON'T!" Rin yelled in desperation as she shook a startled Nanami. They all froze….well except for Nanami, wondering if they should whip up a lie.

Finally Kurenai, threw caution to the wind and spoke up, " Um…well…there are the dark circles under your eyes", she admitted.

Nanami pitched in on the honest train once Rin froze and stopped shaking her, "There's….also that streak of grey in your hair Kaa-chan", she admitted quietly.

Rin turned ash white before charging into the bathroom and throwing Asuma out of the way of the mirror. Hiroshi looked at Asuma strangely, " Asuma-sensei…did you mascara your peach fuzz?", he asked unsurely.

Asuma waved his hands in front of him, " Of course not! What a silly notion hahaaa!...how does it look?", he asked hopefully.

Nanami was the one to shoot him down, " It looks like a drawn on goatee and does nothing to hide the baby fat that's still on your face", she deadpanned.

Asuma slumped and Hiroshi patted him on the back," Just keep smoking sensei. I'm sure that'll suck the youth out of your face in no time", he comforted the chunin that was two years older than him. Before Asuma could respond, Rin dragged herself out of the bathroom looking like a defeated woman.

She sat on the bed and stared off into space. Kurenai inched closer and closer until she spoke up, "…..Kaa-ch-"

"Waaah!", Rin burst into tears startling Kurenai into not talking any more.

" *sob*When did I get so old looking? *sob* I'm only 18 for Kami's sake! *sob*", she managed to whine through her sobs. This apparently prompted Naruto to start crying as well. The genin felt overwhelmed. Rin was crying, Naruto was as well, and Asuma was locked in the bathroom, most likely trying to find a new way to look older.

The genin looked at eachother and nodded. Kurenai went to calm down Naruto while Nanami calmed down Rin and Hiroshi tried getting Asuma out of the bathroom. It took a half an hour to calm Rin down as Kurenai went for take-out instead of suggesting a restaurant.

The next day was a muted affair as the group helped load up the family's wagon and made their way back to Konoha.

Rin kept watch over the clients in the wagon as they traversed through fire country. It didn't look like the happy couple that one would imagine. While Miyumi seemed to be a cheerful and...well...an aloof woman, around her husband the happy go luckiness seemed to be sucked out of her. The man himself was not too pleasant to be around. In fact, he had earned the few underbreath mutterings of " grouchy son of a bitch" from pretty much everyone in the team, and even his wife if her eyes weren't deceiving her. Apart from his attitude was his...well...he was pretty unattractive. A possibly permanent scowl, a balding cranium, and a larger than usual forehead. Rin honestly didn't see what Miyumi did in the man, that is, if it was a mutual relationship at all. Rin decided not to ponder too much into things that weren't her business.

The trip was uneventful and quiet until a band of thieves decided to drop in.

Rin's group went into defensive positions around the wagon as five of the dropped to the ground, including a Kumo missing nin.

Rin sized him up. He appeared to be chunin in rank and had a scar running across his uninteresting face.

"Alright ladies and germs, all your valuables, Now!", he shouted as he pulled a kunai out and the rest pulled their weapons.

Rin sweatdropped, " Uh, you do see the five of us Leaf ninja don't you?", she deadpanned.

The leader put on a smug look, " Ha! Like you're much of a threat with a brat strapped to you! Or what? Is mommy gonna sick her other four kids on us?" he taunted.

Asuma and the genin nervously backed away from Rin as an evil aura surrounded her and the grass around her started to wither and die. While the thieves were still laughing, Rin threw a single shuriken at them and started flipping through hand signs. She slammed Tiger together, " **Shuriken Kage Bushin No Jutsu!**", she growled out. One shuriken became two hundred.

"Hahahaa OH NO!", the nuke-nin cried as he ducked for cover. Luckily in Rin's anger, she had not spammed them vertically as much as she did horizontally. A few cuts but nothing major. Unfortunately his partners were less skilled. He heard them yelp and cry out as some of the shuriken found purchase in flesh that was in the way as they dove for cover.

"Where the hell did you learn that?", Asuma cried indignantly. He had been trying to get his old man to teach him that since he was a kid! Rin reared back to look at him.

" Nevermind! Attack!", she barked before chasing after the ex-kumo nin who was trying to escape the scene. Asuma grumbled before looking at the genin. " Pick your opposite and disable him", he clarified for the genin.

Hiroshi already had his batons ready and Nanami was sinking into the ground. Kurenai did a few handsigns and charged at her opponent, who was flailing around wildly.

Asuma just walked up to his opponent who looked like he was in a world of hurt. Apparently he didn't get his ass out of the way of Rin's jutsu…literally. The man whimpered as he laid, face to the ground, with his prickly ass hanging in the air. Asuma pointed at him, " Stay", he commanded before lighting up a cigarette.

It took only a few minutes for the genin to drag their opponents back, beaten, electrocuted, and slightly charred. 'Now where the hell is Rin?' Asuma thought.

His thoughts must have been heard because moments later the nuke-nin scrambled out of the bushes, screaming bloody murder as he ran down the road. Rin jumped out of the bushes a few moments later with a demonic look and her hands going through signs.

Naruto watched the flurry of hand movements in front of him before Kaa-chan stopped and inhaled. He felt a nice warm sensation coming from Kaa-chan's chest before she leaned forward and screamed, " **Katon: Karyu Endan!**", and he watched as a pretty stream of spiraling fire dragons appeared in front of him.

The whole technique was aimed at the missing-nin who, try as he might to run, was targeted with precision. As the flames finally dissipated, all that remained was a charred faceplate of a Kumo headband with a slash through it.

Rin walked over to the pile of ash and picked it up, wiped it off on her shorts and pocketed it, then walked over to where the rest of the team had the bandits detained. The team itself was spasmming and giving Rin incredulous looks while the bandits were just pissing themselves. Rin looked them over. They were wimps. Obviously just toadies. And since they were only an accessory to attempted robbery, they'd get 6 months in prison at best. Honestly, it wasn't even worth the time to haul them in to a local police station.

She put on an evil smirk, " It would be too much of a pain to haul you into jail. It would be soooo much easier to just kill you and be on our way", she said contemplatively. This of course had the desired effect of turning them into cowering idiots."That is, unless you tell me something", she added, gaining their full attention.

"Who's the oldest ninja here?", she said with a very obviously fake smile. One of the dumber thieves was about ready to answer that she was, but the smartest ( lightly said) thief slapped a hand over his mouth before he could answer, " He is!", he proclaimed, pointing at Asuma, who looked happy.

Rin clicked her tounge before waving her hand at them, " Alright, get the hell outta here, and if I see you robbing anyone again, what I did to your boss will seem merciful compared to what I will do to you.", she threatened darkly. With that, the thieves were gone, their tails tucked between their legs.

"Hmpf! Is that how you ninja operate? Let the scum get away cause you're too lazy?", Rin heard from the cart. What little good mood she got out of scaring them was squashed by that comment alone. Asuma saw her muscles clenching up and answered for her, " That's classified", he stated nonchalantly, making the asshole grit his teeth.

After checking everything over, they headed out, but with Rin in a worse mood than before.

* 4 hours later*

As the sun began to set, they pulled into a town. Rin let out a sigh that held more emotion than she had show since the end of the fight. "Alright, let's find a cheap hotel for the night and-"

"Actually, I know an inn with a spa in this town, let's go there instead", Asuma cut her off with a grin.

Rin looked at him incredulously, " Are you nuts? We don't have the money for something like...", Asuma flashed a large wad of Ryou in front of her," ...that".

"Don't worry, I'll get the rooms for us, you get the clients settled in", he stated with finality as he walked in the direction of the aformentioned inn. Rin just sighed in defeat. He was paying after all so why not? She looked down at Naruto who was asleep in the harness. He hadn't had a bath since the beginning of this mission, and now that her nose was close enough to herself, neiher had she.

With that goal in mind, she followed Asuma, with the rest of the party in tow.

*An hour later*

Rin had Naruto on her lap in the bathtub as she lathered his bush of bright yellow hair. 'It's so soft' she thought enviously. Hers looked like it was under a heat lamp for a day or two and then put in a blender. She pulled on her hair and the streak of gray bared itself before her eyes. 'Honestly. Gray hair at 18. This assignment will put me in an early grave' she thought morbidly.

As she doused the shampoo out of Naruto's hair, she heard a knock on the door of her room. She pulled herself and Naruto out of the tub and toweled off. Walking across the room naked with baby and towel in hand, she set him on the bed and wrapped the towel around herself. Somewhat decent, she answered the door.

She was greeted with a staff member on the other side, " Good evening Inuzuka-san, I see you're ready for your Supreme Treatment package", she said with professional cheerfulness upon noticing Rin's lack of clothes.

Rin looked dumbfounded, " But I didn't order any treatment package", she replied. The staffmember just waved it off. "You're boyfreind already paid for it. If you would follow me", she insisted, taking Rin's hand.

"But, my baby-"

"I'll take care of him", Kurenai said as she lifted the still naked infant off of the bed. ' How did she get in my room so fast?' Rin thought with a gobsmaked look as the staffmember drug her out of the room.

Once Rin was gone, Kurenai held the infant in front of her and looked at him, " You're gonna be good till Kaa-chan's back aren't you?", she asked the staring infant. His only respons was to spit up baby too onto the front of his self.

Kurenai sighed, " Of course not, you're Naruto after all", she mumbled. She needed a bath anyways so might as well clean him up again. With that in mind she made her way to the bathroom.

*3 Blissful hours later*

Rin walked...well floated back up the hall. The last three hours worked wonders. She looked younger now than she did when she first took Naruto's assignment. All the kinks in her muscles were gone. Hell, they had even managed to make all the callouses she had built up over the years disappear. But most of all, they grey hair was gone!

Her thought were pushed to the side when she saw Asuma carrying an ice bucket out of his shared room. She quickened her step and came up to him.

He turned around when he felt the presence, " Hey Rin-chan. How was-whoa!", he yelp as she pulled him into the room he just came out of. Seeing Nanami and Hiroshi in the room she quickly ousted them, leaving her and Asuma alone.

She sat on the bed and stared at him intently, " Apparently my boyfriend paid for a rather expensive beauty package for me", she stated to the now smirking Asuma. "Wow, that must be some boyfriend you have", he replied mirthfully.

She crossed her legs, which quickly changed Asuma's expression as he spun around. A smirk played across Rin's face, showing she knew what she was doing. "So why would you want a girl like me?", she finally asked.

Asuma turned around with a look of serious compassion, staring her straight in the eyes, " A better question would be why wouldn't I? You're smart, strong, quirky yet serious when need be, good with kids, a damn good teacher, you're not prideful, you have the body of a goddess, and can cook like a demoness".

By the end, Rin looked like she had stayed too long in the sauna. She found the floor interesting by that point. "I-I'm also 4 years older than you, in Anbu, and technically an Inuzuka, Mr. Sarutobi", she retorted. The Inuzuka and the Sarutobi have always had a sort of rivalry, not as heated as the Uchiha versus the Senju or Hyuga, more on the lines that they just loved to annoy one another (Dogs an Monkeys).

Asuma quirked an eyebrow, " By our twenties you'd never notice the difference, you're obviously not a lifer like some of the other women in Anbu, and you're hardly an Inuzuka and I'm not the Sarutobi my dad wanted me to be. Not even flexible enough to earn Enma's approval", he quiped as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Rin had a mixture of feelings in her about the idea of dating him. Then her logic kicked in. ' You're an 18 year old Anbu who could die the day after you return to the core, and you're still technically a virgin. AND there's a cute younger guy who paid for 3 hours of heaven, complimented you heavily, and, the most important, is the first guy to show emotional and sexual interest in you since Obito. Throw caution to the wind and go for it'. Her logic made alot of sense she thought with a smile.

Asuma was watching as her face changed into different expressions. It would be funny if it wasn't for the fact of what she was contemplating. Finally she looked at him with a mischievious smirk, " Is this about sex?", she asked, causing him to almost fall off the bed.

He regained himself, somewhat annoyed, " No, it's whatever you want from it", he said in a huff.

"So is this about sex?", he heard again, but this time it confused the hell out of him.

"Wha-*fwump!*", he was interupted as something white was thrown at him. Pulling it off he saw that it was one of the spa's robes...his eyes widened and looked to Rin, then quickly spun around away from the naked Jounin on the bed. "Um-um wow", he blathered out as his face turned absolute red and blood trickled from his nose. Damn did she hide that body well.

If a cat could smirk, it would look like Rin at this very moment as she crawled across the bed towards him, " C'mon Asuma-kun, your not going to ignore...THESE...are you?", she emphasised as she wrapped her arms around him and pressed herself against him.

" Uh don't see how I can when their pressing against my back hahahaha. Whoa!", he yelped as he was pulled bakwards and quickly straddled by Rin. "Um don't you want this to be romantic?", he reasoned from underneath her.

"The first time is never romantic so let's just do it", she pouted. Asuma caught that.

"Y-you mean you're a virgin?", he asked in surprise before quickly smirking and changing the situation which caused Rin to eek.

" Then I get to be the teacher then" he said as he pulled his clothes off in one fell swoop, even though they weren't designed that way.

"You're not a virgin mmpf!", any other conversation was cut off as locked his lips with hers.

*The next morning*

The genin couldn't believe their eyes as they stared at their senseis.

Rin was glowing so much it made Naruto look like an eclipse. She practically skipped wherever she went as she rounded everyone up after breakfast so they could head out. Asuma had a perpetual grin on his face and a skip in his step...no wait...that was a limp.

"Kaa-chan must have "thanked" him for the surprise", Nanami whispered to her two teammates. "So that's why she threw us out of the room", Hiroshi grumbled back.

Kurenai shrugged, " If some hair dye, the works, and a midnight romp were all it took, Asuma should do it more often...when the hell did I get so dirty minded?". she introspected with a frown.

Nanami snorted, " You've always been dirty minded Kurenai-chan. It just pronounced itself more now that you're living with a bunch of perverts", she quipped while poking Kurenai's nose.

Kurenai shooed her away whith her hands, " Like I need you to tell me that!".

"Come on guys! The quicker we get back, the quicker I start making dinner again!", Rin coaxed with a bounce in her step.

Miyumi stood at the entrance of the wagon stables, starin with glazed eyes at the energy that was Rin, "Suuuch pretty light, it calls to meWAH!", she cried out when the three genin picked up the pregnant woman and hiked her up to the wagon and set her in. Food was at stake dammit!

With Rin's renewed energy and the genins' hunger for good food, they made it to the gates of Konoha in less than a day.

Rin brought the procession to a halt in front of the guard station where the two...academy students stood guard?

"Welcome to Konohagakure, the most badass ninja village in the elemental countries!", one of them exclaime with his hands held out wide.

"Kotetsu! That's not what the teacher said to say! Act more professional!", the other one said, slapping the now known Kotetsu over the head.

"Oh come on Izumo! That's boring as hell. _"Halt! State your name and business withing the village"_, Kotetsu mocked.

The two argued back and forth before Rin finally decided to end it, " Enough! Honestly, what the hell are two academy students doing on guard duty?", she asked the two.

"Oh, our teachers say it's to " Gain valuable insight and experience in our future chosen careers", Izumo listed off like a textbook.

"Honestly I think it's just because the job is so boring, that not even a genin wanted to do it', Kotesu answered as well.

"Or the fact that there are Anbu watching the gates at all times so our job is just to handle the paperwork, Izumo added, gaining wide eyes from Kotetsu.

" You mean when I took a piss behind the guard shack they were watching?", he jumped up and pointed out at the edge of the town, " You're all a bunch of perverts!", he exclaimed. Half a second later, large sweatdrops pinpointed every Anbu in the area.

Izumo jumped out of his seat, " This comming from the guy who pissed behind out shack in broad daylight!", he argued.

" I didn't want to leave our post!"

"You pissed on our post!

" Shut up the both of you!", Rin barked. They quickly stopped and snapped back down into their seats. " Inuzuka Rin's team comming back from mission CHE-17334", she stated with force.

Izumo quickly looked through the log book " C-rank, Hi no Kuni, Escort, number 17334, here it is. Mr. Arisaka...snort Dororo...and Mrs. Arisaka Miyumi. I need you to sign your names here for temporary resident status. You will then have 2 weeks to register with Konoha's Immigration and Census bureu before you risk deportation.", he said to the coulple as they signed, though only Miyumi seemed to be listening.

Izumo looked at the notes on the mission file. " It also says that the Hokage wants to hear your report personally Rin-sama", he told the bored woman. She nodded and waved her posse through, but before she could leave herself she was grabbed up in a hug.

"Thank you very much for your help Rin-chan. I hope to see you again in the future", Miyumi said as she squeezed the life out of Rin.

"Um, yeah, you too Miyumi. Good luck getting set up", she replied, snaking her way out of Miyumi's grip and quickly departing with a wave.

*At the Hokage Tower*

"Well...that was boring", the Hokage stated after the debriefing, causing everyone to hit the floor. Rin was the first one up.

"That's a good thing isn't it?", she asked heatedly. The Hokage waved her off.

"For you, not for the guy who spends most of his time behind a desk", he answered bluntly as he puffed on his pipe with a disappointed look. Rin looked ready to try throttling the man, but he changed the subject before she could blow her top.

"Anyways, from the description you gave me of the missing nin, I have deduced that it's most likely this man", he said pointing to a picture that looked exactly like him. " His name was Raiga, chunin, kicked out of his village a year ago".

Rin was nodding in anticipation until the last part, " Wait...thrown out?".

"Yes. Apparently the fool mistakened the Lightning Daimyo's wife for a man. They literally THREW him out of the village shortly after seeing as how he had no valuable skills and a horrible mission record. No Rin, no bounty on him", he answered the kunoichi's unasked question.

Rin's shoulders slumped. " So all I have to show is a charred Kumo plate? It wasn't even worth incinerating the guy!", she whined causing everyone to sweatdrop.

"Don't look at it like that Rin-chan, you accomplished your first mission with your team. Why don't we go home and settle back in?", he asked, massaging her shoulders.

Hiruzen quirked an eyebrow but kept to the prior subject, " Indeed you have. Checks are in the Mission Office, and you have a few days off until you're next mission. I expect a written report in two days tops, just don't put it on my desk", he warned, eyeying the wavering towers of paper. "Dismissed", he finally ordered, causing the group to mock salute him and head out the door.

After resettling back into the house, Rin decided to cook up something special after their first successful mission...as a team and Hiroshi stumbled into the kitchen as they inhaled the sweet aroma of Rin's cooking.

"Hey Kaa-chan. That smells delicious! What is it?", Kurenai asked as Hiroshi's stomach grumbled.

Rin looked at them with a smile, "Venison curry".

(Omake 1)

As Rin and her group got to the gates, she spun around, " Equipment Check!", she ordered gaining 4 disturbed expressions.

"EEEH?", the group shouted in unison.

Rin tried folding her arms in front of her but Naruto got in the way so she went for hands on the hips, " You heard me. This is our first mission so I'm not going to start it off on a bad note because someone forgot something, So present your packs!", she ordered.

Nanami was first. Rin quickly went through. ' Extra weapons, first aid kit, ration bars, sewing kit, lingerie...'. " Nanami what do you need a teddy on a mission for?", Rin asked incredulously as she pulled it out of the bag. Nanami's face heated up, " I don't like sleeping in my clothes", she answered.

"So why not sleep naked?"

"No way! What if I need to go to the bathroom or there's an intruder?"

" I don't see how that's any different than going out in a see through teddy and no panties"

"There are panties with it", Nanami cried indignantly as she pulled the hardly nothing out of the pack.

Rin went wide eyed, " What the- Nanami those are thinner than MY thongs!", she exclaimed staring at the "panties".

She shook her head clear, " Alirhgt, whatever, fine, next", she said walking over to Hiroshi and started checking his bag. It didn't take her long to pull out a box...of condoms.

"Suddenly the lingerie makes more sense", she accused turning her head towards Nanami, who was avoiding her stare. She looked back at the box.

"*snort* Larges? Kinda hoping a little hard aren't you?", she teased Hiroshi, who had a confused look.

"Actually they're kinda tight", he said scratchin his cheek in embarassement at talking about such a private matter.

Rin's cheek twitched as her expression turning into an incredulous smirk. "O-Oh", was all she said before checking the rest of the pack. Her eyes widened and she pulled out the leather hood.

"Hiroshi what the hell is this doing in here?", she yelled as she held it up.

"In case I need to mask my identity or we catch a prisoner and need to blindfold him-"

"No way in hell am I blindfolding anybody with this thing, I have enough sexual deviants in this group that I don't need to be mistaken for a dominatrix!", she proclaimed throwing the abomination onto the ground. "Don't touch it", Rin ordered.

She then went to Kurenai's bag and started checkin it while admonishing the other two genin, " Honestly you two need to take this seriously. You don't see Kurenai packing lingerie, or condoms do-"

Something fell out of the bag while Rin was rifling through it and turned itself on. It hopped and skittered across the ground as Kurenai went ash white, then turning beet red, and Rin looked like a deer in headlights.

"U-um, should we put it back in...or", Rin mumbled not sure what to do in the awkward situation. Kurenai was too busy covering her face with her hand and using the other in a shoving motion like she just wanted the situation to go away.

Rin finally just pushed it with her foot towards the...mexican wrestling mask...as it continued to rumble and move around.

Rin finally walked over to Asuma, "...Do I even want to know?", she asked tiredly.

His only response was to open the bag in front of her.

"Cigarettes...more cigarettes, even more cigarettes...a teddy bear?", she asked incredulously pulling out an old looking teddy bear.

"His name is Smokey and he's been a sort of good luck charm since the Academy", he answered indignantly.

Before Rin could respond she heard a kid yell out, " Look mommy! I'm a superhero!".

She twirled around to find the earlier objects missing

"That's niOH MY GOD, PUT THOSE DOWN THIS INSTANT!". That could only be the mother.

Rin didn't stick around long enough to find out, quickly throwing the bear back at Asuma, " Alrightcheckdonelet'sGOGOGOGO!", she blurted out as she flew out the gate. Asuma quickly kissed the top of the bears head before stuffing him back inside his pack and heading off after Rin, the genin following as best they could.

*Omake 2*

Rin woke up with a start. She could hear sounds comming from the kitchen downstairs.

' Is Root back, or maybe burglars, or even...ninja burglars!', she contemplated, her thoughts going wild.

She quickly got out of bed, grabbed a kunai, and crept down the hallway.

Peering down the steps, she could see everything was dark, and there was no sound coming from the kitchen anymore. ' Maybe they heard me', she feared as she started creeping down the steps.

Once she reached the bottom, she scanned the darkness, but could see nothing, but she could sense someone watching her from the kitchen. With a white knuckle grip on her kunai, she reached for the switch as she prepared for anything.

*Click*

Well...she wasn't prepared for that.

Hiroshi, Nanami, and...Asuma?, were staring at her like deer in headlights, bowls still in their hands and chopsticks in their mouth.

Her previous tension gone, she narrowed her eyes at them, "What the hell are you guys doing?", she asked with an undercurrent of anger.

" Umm...eating?", Nanami answered aloofly.

" Obviously! WHAT are you eating and WHY are you eating it? And why the hell are you here Asuma?", Rin asked heatedly.

Asuma was still frozen in his gawking expression, "...chemise"

"ASUMA!"

"Yes! Right, this is...umm...rice with mayo and hard boiled eggs.", he asnwered after being interupted from his previous musings.

Rin's eyes widened and she pointed at them accusingly, "Man Bowl"

*Omake 3*

Inori had quickly gathered up her team and headed for the missions office. She was the leader for genin team 12, yet she was only a chunin.

She tried her damnedest to train the two kunoichi and one shinobi under her care, but she had little to give to them to help them advance. So one way she had to help them was at least make sure they survived through their missions. She did this by getting to the missions office early before all the other C-ranks had been scooped up by the other desperate teams.

As they reached the missions office, they saw a team they didn't recognize come out. The obviously Jounin leader had purple marks on her cheeks and...a baby in her arms. Inori watched as the woman bickered with her students about the mission they were going on. After they disappeared from sight, Inori and her team continued on their way.

*5 minutes later*

Inori fumbled through the B-rank mission with despair. That other team had taken the last C-rank, leaving them with nothing but B-ranks to take.

She took the one that seemed the easiest. Taking out a bandit camp with possible nuke-nin members. The whole mission would take about a week. Accepting the mission, she turned to her team and gave out orders to get ready, her voice slightly wavering.

Two hours later, they were all at the gates. The genin acted cheerful, but acted nonetheless. Inori turned and looked at the village. She stared for close to three minutes before turning back to her team and ordering them to move out.

*Two weeks later*

Inori's bare feet drug on the ground with every step she took on the road to the gate. She could see with her glazed eye that the gate was almost in sight, her body spoke of abuse and inhuman cruelty towards her. Her arms were held tightly by her side and one of her students pink backpack had been fastened to her unconventionally by barbed wire, blood dripping from the bottom.

"koonnooha", she slurred repeatedly, barely audible to any except the Inuzuka that happened to be in the guard house.

Getting out of the shack and checking down the road, what he saw twisted his stomach.

*Half an hour later*

Hiruzen was just informed what had happened. The leader of Team 12, who had gone missing a week ago, had just shown up at the gate a little while ago, and was now in critical condition at the hospital. He looked back at the Anbu.

"What of her team" he asked with narrowed eyes.

The Anbu shuffled under the glare, " They were in the backpack Hokage-sama, well, at least their...which showed they weren't spared any cruelty either.".

The Hokage was silent before turning and walking out of the Hospital, the Anbu following him.

"Hokage-sama, where are you going sir?", the Anbu called out as the Hokage headed for the gates.

"I'm going to repay their kindness", the Hokage answered darkly.

"But-", before the Anbu could say anymore, the Sandaime had disappeared.

It was only two days later that Hiruzen came back, and he was convered in blood, and it sure as hell wasn't his. Even the council did not argue with him for close to a month after that, and the village near where the bandit camp was would be scarred by the day the forest screamed and the river turned to blood.

Inori died a couple days after from complications. Team 12 was buried together in the shinobi cemetary.


	11. Dessert or Desert

[ February 22nd]

It has been two months since their first mission and they had many more. From mail delivery to clearing out bandit camps, most stayed C's but others turned into B-ranks when capable missing nins and even opposing village ninja intervened. One stuck out from the others the most

*flashback*

Rin and the genin stood stiff as pillars as they stared down at the man that had appeared. This mission had taken a turn for the worst. It was a courier mission to Tea country, and they were carrying sensitive trade agreements for the Daimyo of the country. Apparently Kiri didn't like those trade agreements, so they sent one of the Seven Swordsmen of Mist to intercept them.

Specifically, one Zabuza Momoichi.

He stared at them like a predator eyeing it's prey, " Let's just make this as easy as possible. You obviously know who I am, you have a brat strapped between your tits, and your rear guard is eye level with your rear. Just hand over the documents and I won't have to eviscerate you", he threatened as he kneaded the grip of his blade that was hanging over his shoulder.

Hiroshi stepped forward with a glare, " We'll ne-"

"Fine", Rin answered cutting off Hiroshi, and pulled out the scroll.

The genin looked at her with shock, " What? You're just giving up that easy?", Nanami shouted at Rin.

Rin glared at Nanami, " This isn't a game Nanami! I am not taking a genin team and a baby into combat with a Jounin! Not only would it be reckless, suicidal, and downright stupid, but it would also be criminally negligent, especially if one of you died", she berated her as she threw the scroll at Zabuza, which he easily caught.

"Heh, you might be weak, but at least you're not stupid", he said to the group with a bandaged smirk. With blast of water, he shunshined from his spot.

Rin waited a half a dozen seconds before reanimating, " Alright, let's get going. Very very quickly!", she ordered the genin, taking off.

"But Kaa-sensei, you're still heading towards Tea Country", Hiroshi spoke up.

Rin turned her head, " Which is why I said VERY VERY QUICKLY!", she said with panic in her voice.

They all looked at her strangely before getting what she had done and going ash white and speeding up as fast as they could, Kurenai going through handsigns as she did.

*With Zabuza*

'That had to be the easiest A-rank I've ever done. Those tree huggers have absolutely no backbone...they do have nice tits though' he mused as he ran across the ground towards Kiri. Soon enough he decided to check to see if he was being followed. He stopped and put his ear to the ground, using his enhanced hearing to listen for the vibrations of footsteps. ' Strange, I don't hear the Konoha team anymore. It's almost as if...", his eyes widened. They were moving away from him...TOWARDS TEA COUNTRY. He ripped out the scroll and pulled it open, spying a bunch of storage seals.

Pushing his chakra into the lot of them, he was greeted with the site of-

"DILDOS? That sneaky little bitch!", he roared, a dong crushed in each fist above his head. If only someone was around with a camera. With his full force behind him, he blasted off towards the team once again, his "Mr. Nice Guy" demeanor totally gone. In it's place was anger beyond comprehension.

The next 20 minutes of high speed interception were spent deciding how he was going to kill them. Though if he wasn't in such an angered stated, he would have surely noticed he was in an anchored genjutsu, Kori Shinchū no Jutsu (Sly Mind Altering Effect) to be precise, for 15 of those minutes.

*5 Minutes later*

"FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!", he screamed. He had calmed down enough to figure it out. Without so much as a plan, he went straight for them, seeing red all the way.

*With Rin*

Rin, Nanami, and Hiroshi were making a straight line for Tea Country. Kurenai and Naruto were not present. As psychotic as this stunt was, Rin wasn't stupid by any stretch of the word. She had entrusted Naruto to the one student who could effectively hide their presence and told them to head North. Now it was just her and the other two psychotic members of her team.

If the fog rolling in was any indication, their lead was gone now. They quickly made for the ground and made a defensive triangle. Normally this would be when Zabuza would psyche out his opponents, but in his current rage, he just went right for the kill.

Dropping in the middle of their formation, and startling Nanami in the process, he pulled his sword up and turned towards Rin, " You are mince-meat you little bi- WAAAAAHH!", he screamed as he took flight.

" Doton: Shashutsu Zaseki ( Earth Release: Ejection Seat) !", Nanami yelled as she stomped her foot, causing the block of ground underneath Zabuza to almost instantly rise up, sending him flying in some unknown direction.

Rin looked at Nanami with awe, " Where the hell did you learn that!¿", cried Rin. That was fucking awesome afterall.

Nanami gleamed at the envy, " Dragon-san gave it to me. He said it didn't fit his style for doing things, but since I was going to be on your team, it might be more than useful", she replied.

Rin didn't know whether to kiss or kick Tenzou when she saw him again. The words could be taken too many ways.

" Anyways, back to running like hell!", Rin shouted as she took off back into the trees, the other two quickly following suit.

*With Zabuza*

He had flown...a long way. That speck of a genin had launched him well away from them when he had brushed them off as no threat. Luckily, something had broken his fall from his airborne flight.

"FFFFFFFFUUUUUUCK!", he roared as he crushed another two dildos in his fists. If he had been more attentive, he would have heard a click. A second later, the ground where Zabuza was, exploded as he took off again towards the group.

After he left, the hidden figures came out of the bushes and collected as many of the discarded phallus as she could. ' So I went South instead of North, my gain' was the only thing one of the figures thought before moving on.

Zabuza flew through the tree towards Rin again. 'I'm not going to kill her. I'M GOING TO FLAY HER ALIVE!' he stewed in white hot rage before a disturbance put him on alert. With the skill of a newly minted jounin, he evaded the kunai trap he had triggered and landed in another branch, only to trigger another trap.

For the next two minutes he evaded and avoided expertly laid traps. If he was a bit slower, he might have had trouble but soon enough he heard the last thunks of kunai hitting wood. He finally fell to the ground from his acrobatic display...only to land on a rake covered in leaves. He spent the next 10 minutes curled up in a ball while weaving a high pitch string of curses that made the trees around him shed early.

*With Rin*

They were across the Tea country border and the capital was in sight from the overlooking hill they were on. Before taking off again, Rin decided on one more diversion.

*With Zabuza*

His rage killed birds as he passed, wherever he stepped burst into flames, his ominous aura was blotting out the sun within 40 feet of him. Zabuza was kinda angry. So when he caught sight of Rin standing in his way, his decision was final. "YOU. I am going to rape you with my sword then have you stuffed and put on my mantle!", he roared as he lunged at her with his blade. Rin quickly blocked with her tanto, putting the two in a power struggle.

"As fun as that sounds, I have other things to do", Rin grit out before taking a hand off of the tanto. Greyish blue chakra emanated around it before she quickly made a strike towards Zabuza's arm. Not realizing the technique at the time, Zabuza was grazed with it as he pulled back, feeling some of the muscles in his arm being severed.

" Chakra No Mesu ( Chakra Scalpel). Shit. I suppose it was stupid of me to assume you were a rookie Jounin", he grit out as his concentration was fully on the person in front of him.

Rin smirked, " Genin teams usually aren't given to rookie jounins, especially ones that are as seasoned as mine", she stated before she leapt towards Zabuza with her right hand glowing and tanto ready.

They traded blows for a good 3 minutes before Zabuza started going through handsigns, " Suiton: Burobumizu (Water Release: Water Blob)", he exclaimed before shooting a...blob...of water out of his mouth at high speeds.

Rin countered at the same time, " Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu ( Fire Release: Phoenix Sage Fire Technique)", she exclaimed, firing fireballs at the incoming water blob. When the two attacks met, steam burst from it, obscuring eachother from the other. With this advantage, Zazuza burst through the steam and clashed with Rin's tanto causing her to backpedal from the force of the hit. Zabuza continued with quick strikes until he heard the telltale sound of steel cracking.

Rin backed into a tree with her tanto at the ready and Zabuza launched once more, except when Zabuza's cleaver struck Rin's tanto, the crack gave way. Zabuza's sword quickly gained it's lost momentum after breaking the tanto and went through a neck and into the tree.

Rin's lifeless eyes stared at a smirking Zabuza, who enjoyed the sight of the body falling away...until it turned into smoke just like the head.

A clone

His shock wore off and he noticed the capital only a few miles away. Something else took over his emotions, desperation. He had a perfect mission score and he sure as hell wasn't going to lose it now! With every last muscle in his body he flew at top speed towards the city. He was going to make it, HE WAS GOING TO MAKE IT!

He didn't make it.

He stared dumbstruck as the two genin with the Jounin waited outside a clothing store for their sensei, their mission obviously already completed.

Anger...no...rage...no...a primal blood haze fell over Zabuza. " murder..death..kill...kill", he growled out as he set sights on Hiroshi who had turned and recognized him. He raised his giant blade above his head and ran towards Hiroshi, who was pulling on his sleeves. " ", he screamed as he lunged at Hiroshi who flipped out his batons and put them in an X in front of himself.

Zabuza swung downwards "MURDERDEATHKILLMURDERDEATHKI

*BZZZZZZZZZZZT*",

Rin walked out of the shop with a few new things to add to her wardrobe and the chocolate marshmallow shake she got earlier. " Are you sure you didn't want to go in there

Nanami, they have a cute top that would look...", she stopped talking as she stared at the smoldering Zabuza, still holding the stance he was in when he got shocked by

Hiroshi a minute ago. The two genin were staring at him from the side. Rin walked up to Zabuza and waved her hand in front of his face, " Oi, you alive?", she asked nonchalantly.

"No", he groaned out. He felt like he WAS a sunburn.

Rin nodded sagely," Well, that sucks. There's no fun in being a corpse. Two pieces of advice Zabuza-chan. Learn to reign in that temper of yours or it's going to get you killed", she said sticking her shake into his hand.

" And the other?", he drawled out.

Rin put on a sickeningly sweet smile and put a hand on his shoulder, " Learn not to underestimate your opponents. The only reason I didn't kick your ass from one end of the continent to the other is because, as you said, I had a baby strapped between my tits and children to look after. Now SIT-", she emphasized by pushing him down with more force than even her clone was capable of, " -and drink your shake", she finished as she walked off, the two genin quickly following behind.

" She was toying with me like a mother humoring a child", he mumbled as he stared ahead of him from his sitting position, the shake still in his hand. Clones usually took on a fraction of the users strength, so if her clone was good enough to hold it's own for three minutes... She was right, his arrogance had been growing ever since he was accepted into the Seven Swordsman of Mist. The next time he might choke on what he bites off.

It was a sad note that this little exchange was the closest thing Zabuza could ever call having a mother. He mused on that as he poked the straw through the charred bandages. ' A mother. Heh, more like a mother demon', he thought sarcastically, yet the name stuck. He looked down at the cup, " This is a damn good shake".

*End of obviously humongous flashback*

The handicap of having a baby attached to her did little to her effectiveness. It did lead to a few quirks though.

*Out of one and into another...BWAHAHAHAHAHAA!*

Asuma walked up to the training ground that Team Rin was using. What he met there was not the usual sight that greeted him. The genin were trying to reason with a grumbling Rin, who appeared to be staring at a Bingo Book.

Lighting a new cigarette, he walked up to the strange scene. "Hey guys, what's up?", he asked the genin as they looked up. Kurenai was the one to reply.

"Kaa-chan found out she's in the Bingo Book, and she's not happy with it".

Asuma quirked an eyebrow, " Well that's natural, nobody wants to be in a bingo book", Asuma replied as he reached into his flak jacket.

Kurenai opened her mouth to retort but Rin cut in, mumbling, " Mother Goose".

Asuma paused and looked at her puzzlingly, " Umm, what?", he asked. Rin looked at him with a disgruntled look and shoved the Bingo Book into his hands.

"That's the nickname those idiots in Kumo gave me. Mother Goose. I piss off one genin team and they label me with that!", she growled. Asuma blinked and looked at her profile.

Name:: Inuzuka Rin

Affiliation: Konohagakure no Sato

Rank: Jounin

Class: A

Specialties: Medic Nin, Jounin Sense, Front line combatant

Affiliates: Sarutobi Asuma, Nanami, Hiroshi, Yuhi Kurenai

Nicknames: Mother Goose

Bounties: None Issued At This Time

Description: A jounin that leads a squad of genin with a baby strapped in front of her. For what purposes she brings a baby with her is under speculation, but with the addition of her genin squad's reported name for her, has led to her nickname by the team her squad engaged. She is skilled in the medical field and a user of a unique taijutsu style that has yet to be identified, but makes her dangerous in close combat. She has also been reported to utilize ninjutsu and genjutsu, making her a front line combatant rather then a medic-nin. Engage with extreme caution.

Asuma blinked a few times, then snorted, then buckled over laughing. This just soured Rin's mood more. "It's not funny!", she snapped at the rolling chunin with a fiery glare.

He stifled his laughter to speak, " You're right. It's absolutely hilarious! Imagine, Hijutsu: Dirty Diaper Barrage! *snort*", he exclaimed, resuming his laughter right afterwards.

Rin had to admit that sounded pretty funny, apparently so did the genin. She still didn't like the nickname though. "Hmph", she pouted as she crossed her arms. Asuma decided to give her the bad news anyways.

"Well, if you don't like that one, how about this one?", he asked as his laughter died down, throwing another bingo book in front of Rin. She looked down and went wide was a Kiri Bingo Book. But the only one they ever engaged from Kiri was...

"That was only two weeks ago!", she outwardly expressed as she quickly picked up the book and started searching. When she got to the page with her face on it she blanched.

"

The Mother Demon...what the hell is with Kiri and it's weird fetish for Demons¿!", she yelled as she kept reading. " GCCKK! U-uses female sex toys as decoys!¿", she screeched as her head shot over to Kurenai, who was nervously shuffling.

"W-well you weren't very forthcoming in WHAT you were going to use the scroll for", she tried to defend herself against the death glare Rin was giving her.

Rin slumped, "Give me a knife, I'm gonna cut my guts out now", she mumbled in monotone.

Asuma decided to cheer her up before she made good on her proclamation. " Come on Rin-chan, it isn't that bad. Worst case scenario, you get teased about it with one and possibly inspire a few girls to join the Academy with the other. And it's not like you're stuck with them. In less than a year, the mission will be finished and you'll be back in the anonymity of Anbu".

That thought stopped Rin's dark train of thought cold. From the outside, Rin was staring at the ground with wide eyes for two minutes, before looking to the small form pawing at a butterfly in his basket.

"You're right. Why am I sitting here sulking? Let's get back to training", she responded with a mysterious new vigor. The genin stared at her dumbfounded for a few moments before shrugging to eachother and complying. Asuma sat there, knowing full well what had spurred her on, before shaking his head and catching up.

* Yup, it's done. No more...for now)

Asuma's predictions did prove true. The rumors of a "Ninja Mom" had spread through Konoha, inspiring something in young girls to sign up for the academy. Inspire what,

Rin had no flippin' clue. She was a kunoichi, not a psychiatrist...of course there were the Yamanaka...but that's just getting off track. She just hoped she didn't see a bunch of kunoichi with babies strapped to them on missions, that thought sent cold shivers down her spine.

Kurenai, Hiroshi, and Nanami had stopped training minutes ago and were just staring at Rin, who had been going through a myriad of expressions from frowning, grinning, looking perplexed, waving her hand in front of her face, then apparently having involuntary spasms. By now they knew her well enough to know what she was doing, but it was still interesting to watch regardless.

Unfortunately, the spectacle was cut short when Asuma shunshined right in front of her while she was making gestures like she was piecing together the meaning of life.

" Gyah! Dammit Asuma! Don't pop up in front of me while I'm thinking!", she shouted at the chuckling chunin.

" Sorry to interrupt your outer expression of your inner monologue, but Pops wanted to see you and the team", he answered.

Her eyebrows rose before her eyes widened, " Oh no! He found out about the forest incident didn't he?¡", she asked with a panic.

Asuma sighed deeply, " No".

"The Deer!"

"No"

"The Shrine"

"No"

"That fat mayor-"

"No"

"The representative from-"

"No!"

The Weasels!"

"N-what?"

Rin waved it off, " You weren't there for that one, Trust me, you're lucky".

Asuma shook his head, " He wants to discuss something else, and no, you're not in trouble".

"Oh...kay. Guy-geh!", she stumbled as she turned to them to see they were right behind her. " Uh, good. Alright, let's go", she ordered, waving them on.

Asuma could only shake his head as she made a 180 course correction after walking 20 feet. She had no sense of direction at all. He set pace with them as the group passed him.

*At the Hokage Tower*

Sarutobi looked through the reports in front of him with a concerned, saddened look. Before he could read further on, he heard the telltale bickering of what he had dubbed the

"Rin Brigade", before a knock on his door was heard.

"Enter", he called before the bickering continued into the room.

"I don't care if it gives you the ability to jump through walls, Hiroshi, we're burning that green abomination as soon as we get home", Rin stated with stern conviction.

Everybody else but Hiroshi agreed. " But he wears one, and he's got really wicked moves", he countered.

Rin wouldn't have it, " He's a weirdo who tries to get young boys into spandex! Not to mention he has the style sense of a blind mental patient. Give it!" she ordered while holding out her hand. Hiroshi reluctantly handed over what Hiruzen could identify as a green leotard. Hiruzen could easily pick out the man who had given it to him. The

Sandaime was not fond of Gai. In fact, he hated him. It was not fun watching a grown man in overstretched spandex jump around the room chanting about youth, especially after smoking the strong stuff. If he wasn't as good as he was at what he did, why Hiruzen would take joy in setting him on fire and beating him out with his bo staff.

"Sorry Hokage-sama, we got a little sidetracked by some weirdo walking on his hands", Rin apologized.

The Sandaime nodded, " We've all had our unpleasant encounters with the green meanie".

"The what?", Rin asked but was overshadowed by Hiruzen's continuation. "As to why I've called you here. As you know, Konoha was supposed to host the Chunin Exams last fall. Obviously that didn't happen. So Suna's turn has come up two months early because of it. Based on your team's amount of operations, they are qualified to enter", he stated as he picked up the forms and handed them to Rin.

"Suna? But it's been in an economic slump for the last two years, how can they afford to host the Chunin Exams?", Hiroshi asked in confusion.

Sarutobi chuckled, " You are quite knowledgeable Hiroshi. Yes, they have been in a slump for a while, and have had to pass up their turn for the Chunin Exams the last time they were up. But since we didn't have one because of the aftermath of the attack, and we are allies with Suna, part of the exams there have been funded by Konoha from the coffers that were meant for the exams here. And since the exams tend to bolster alot of business from travelers and potential clients, Suna jumped on the offer.", he stated, gaining an insightful nod from the genin.

" Why do you want us to go Hokage-sama. Surely there are more seasoned teams to send", she asked with confusion. As hardy as her team was, they've only been together for a few months.

"Actually, that is something I wished to discuss with you", he stated with a silent signal.

She looked to Asuma, " Naruto needs his bath, and I'm sure you guys are hungry", she left off as she handed Naruto over to Asuma. Asuma nodded reluctantly and took

Naruto.

Once Asuma and her team had left, she turned back to the Hokage," Why did this have to be private Hokage-sama?", she asked.

The weary old man signed before responding, " To keep morale up for the most part. The fewer that know, the better".

Rin's eyes spoke of confusion and also dread, " We..we can't be the only team out there", she tried to convince herself. The Hokage slid a piece of paper across the desk.

"Academically, no, you're not. Realistically, yes, you are".

Rin picked up the piece of paper as the Hokage continued. " You're the only team that is a coherent unit, with seasoned, graduated genin, and an actual Jounin-sensei. Only two other teams have the luxury of a Jounin to guide them and the teams they lead are so patchwork from casualties, almost none of the original genin remain. The Jounin themselves are wrecks from losing so many students. The other teams are led by chunins, which is proving to be...a nightmare. They're dropping like flies.".

Rin wouldn't believe it if the facts weren't staring her in the face. A list of teams were on it. Half of them were crossed out completely. The others had x's through students names, and even teachers, one even only having one genin survivor. " Most of those dead genin would have been cutouts from the academy. But there was no test this time around because we needed as many as we could get. Boy chasers, dreamers, and ones with potential but neither the time or the teachers to help them. The ones that are capable or seasoned are horribly matched with peers, undertrained by leaders who have no experience, or business, teaching.", he stated solemnly.

Rin looked up from the depressing sheet of paper, " What about all the genin that survived the disaster And the ones that were being rehabilitated?", she asked quietly.

The Sandaime sighed, " Your genin were almost the only success story from that. Many are dead. Some from relapses during combat, others from underlying physical problems the reappeared in stressful situations miles away from any medic. The other "seasoned" genin survivors are few and far between, spread out to give more teams better survivability. You team, however, got off easy these last few months, giving them time to learn from experienced shinobi and exercise their skills in lower risk missions, with supervision and built up teamwork. None of the other "teams" have that, which is why I need yours to participate. If we only send teams like this, I have no doubt none of the Konoha participants will make it to the finals, which would give the impression that we have weakened significantly".

" Which would entice our enemies to attack. I get that part Hokage-sama...but, what are we doing to remedy the prior problem? I mean...what's the point of send genin teams at all if, in a few months, we won't have any left anyways. I mean, I heard what happened to Team 12. If that kind of thing is happening through all the genin teams, we need to do something", she replied with frustration...or desperation, Hiruzen couldn't tell which.

Either way, it was admirable. " It's surprising how much you care, Rin", he stated while appraising her.

Rin's look turned serious, " I...care about alot of people. As much as everyone says otherwise, genin are still children. They need guidance, they need structure, they need discipline, they need-"

"More people like you", he stated cutting her off. She looked at him quizzically before he continued. " I am in the middle of bargaining with the Daimyo for the lease of half of the Twelve Guardians, but he is apprehensive about the idea. Also, I've been talking with the Southern Fire Temple about hiring some of their warriors for village protection, which would allow me to send more of our ninja and Anbu on missions. But it will take a while to rake up the funds to do so. Until then, this is the best thing to a reprieve that the teams have had in months. I don't know how much it would help, but you might be able to do something for the other genin on the way there as well, whether it be academically, or...socially", he finished cryptically.

Rin nodded. Considering how easy Rin's team has had it in comparison with the other squads, they owed the Hokage a hell of alot. And if taking a Chunin Exam and trying to help out some of the shell shocked genin was what he was asking for, Rin would oblige. After all, it kept all those other genin teams away from B-ranks and the death that seemed to be waiting for them.

With determination, Rin looked back at the Hokage, "Alright Hokage-sama, I'll do my best. And I know for a fact that my team will crush these exams.", she proclaimed with a raised fist.

The Hokage grinned, " That's a statement I can stand behind Rin".

Rin thought of something else, " One thing, I'll need Asuma to come with as well".

"Oh, I'm sure you will", he stated with a smirk, not looking at Rin

"W-what?", Rin asked defensively, the the Hokage waved her off.

"Oh nothing future daughter-in-law",

Rin face faulted," It's not that serious! Wait! How did you know in the first place?¡", she pointed accusingly at the Hokage with an angry blush.

" My dear, I'm not the Professor for just my knowledge of jutsus", he harrumphed.

Rin tried concocting the perfect counter, but with her finger still pointing at him, she only managed," W-well keep your fortunes to yourself Professor Love!", and stormed out of the office.

"Don't have kids to fast!", he called after her.

"Baka!" he heard in muffled response.

"There so stuck with eachother", he mumbled in amusement. Trust Asuma to go after the strongest woman in the village, and one four years older than him. Maybe Jiraiya rubbed off on him before he left.

' He couldn't have gotten it from me' the Hokage thought as he pulled out his pipe and orange book out of his desk and opened it to a marked page before lighting up.

*Back at the House*

Rin had grumbled to herself alll the way back to the house. ' Honestly, where the hell did the Hokage get those ideas?'. Her thoughts came to a halt as she opened the door and the nasty stench of burnt food billowed out of the house in the form of smoke. Rin squinted her eyes to see through the haze that hung inside.

" Sheesh Asuma, I knew you couldn't cook, but damn", she could hear Kurenai chimed in.

" I get it, you finally coughed your lungs up and decided to do it on our plates", she heard Hiroshi add.

" Shut up. It isn't that bad...bleagh!¡", she heard Asuma spit out a chunk of whatever he "made". She got to the table to see five black chunks of charcoal sitting on plates.

Asuma was scratching his cheek sheepishly.

" Hey Rin-chan, I think I overcooked the chicken".

Rin picked up the black object. " This...was chicken?", she asked incredulously before dropping it back on the plate, which happened to shatter on impact, causing a hysterical giggle to escape from her throat.

"Err, yeah", he responded lamely. Rin shook her headand went for her apron.

" I swear to Kami you would starve without me around. Asuma, feed Naruto. The rest of you, get this damn smog cloud outta the house", she ordered.

" Hai Kaa-chan/ Rin-chan", rang out before they headed off. Rin stared straight ahead with an irked look before smiling to herself and going to the refrigerator to see what she had to work with.

*Later that evening*

"Itadakimasu" was heard as the group dug into the spaghetti Rin had masterly crafted. Nanami decided to voice what was on all their minds.

" So, are we going to the Chunin Exams in Suna Kaa-chan?", she asked with hope in her voice.

Rin nodded while she swallowed her bite of food, " Yup. Apparently Asuma and I are damned good teachers, 'cause we were first choice", she weaved through the truth that they were the only REAL choice.

"That's awesome! I wonder if we'll see any of our graduating class too. I haven't talked to Roshi or Shinji since our teams were formed", Hiroshi reminisced

" I haven't seen Mikan in a while either. Boy will she be jealous when she finds out how strong I've gotten", Nanami proclaimed as she grasped her tan bicep and flexed with a smirk.

Rin was quiet. The names she heard from them were ones she saw on the roster as KIA. So much for trying to hide the truth. As soon as they saw the other teams, they'd know full well what was happening. Rin's mood didn't go unnoticed by Asuma or Kurenai as they watched it shift before it disappeared into cheerfulness.

" Well then, you better get ready cause we head out for Suna in four days. So get what you need and rest up until then...oh, and make sure to sign those forms. They'll only let you in as a team".

Asuma sweatdropped," Wasn't that supposed to be part of the test?", he asked bluntly.

Rin just waved him off, " Just an unnecessary part", she replied.

Asuma squinted at her, "You're cheating".

Rin snorted, " What the hell is cheating?".

Asuma smiled with his mouth full, " Vewy twu".

Rin blinked owlishly before looking down, " Ah! That was my meatball!", she yelled pointing an accusing finger at Asuma

" *Gulp*. That is also very true. And it was delicious".

A vein bulged on Rin's forehead, " I took a bit outta that".

Asuma wagged his eyebrows at her, " Even more delicious.

" ECCHI!", she yelled, throwing her chopsticks at him, which he deflected with his chopsticks. She jumped over the table right at Asuma. The two went down like bricks. It should be noted that while Rin was excellent in taijutsu, and well on her way to becoming and elite jounin, when it came to wrestling, Asuma could win every time. Asuma popped up with Rin pinned and tucked under his arm.

"O-OI! Let me go you big lug!" Rin complained as she kicked her legs fruitlessly.

"No chance. I think we need a rematch...and desert...or both", he finished, throwing money on the table and dashing up the stairs with Rin under arm.

The genin got the hint, " Honestly, couldn't they be a little more subtle about it?", Kurenai commented as she raked the cash off the table.

Nanami turned her gaze from the stairs to Kurenai with a smirk, " Jealous because you're the only one in the house that hasn't hooked up?", she asked, which got a rise from Kurenai.

" T-That has nothing to do with it!", she stuttered angrily with an embarrassed blush.

Hiroshi stayed out of the bickering and kept eating.

" Ah, young love. How I wish I could relive those days", the Sandaime stated before continuing to eat Rin's plate of food. All the genin had stopped and were gawking at the

village leader, that had popped out of nowhere.

Hiroshi managed to form the million ryou question. " Wh...Wha. Why are you here Hokage-sama?".

The Hokage stopped eating and looked at Hiroshi. "...I...don't...know...", he proclaimed with wide eyes.

The room was silent until the three genin sweatdropped and wrestling sounds came from upstairs.

Let it be known that while Asuma COULD win every time, when it came to special circumstances, he was too busy admiring the view to worry about winning.

" Who has who pinned now?", was heard in triumph from upstairs. Obviously Rin's voice.

Everybody at the table blanched and the Hokage shot up," Love is afoot. Quickly! We must flee to safer grounds!", he proclaimed strangely before grabbing all three genin by the collar and running out the front door.

"What the hell was Mmmph!" Asuma was muffled off.

"Don't try that old trick, keep going", Rin replied haughtily...from above.

*Omake 1*

While Rin and her team have had many memorable missions. One stuck out that was so strange, they all decided to forget it ever happened.

Rin and her team were slowly making their way to a small, unknown country on a simple courier mission. Presently, they were walking up to a bridge.

The next instant, a person in strange metal armor, complete with a helmet, was in front of them.

"Halt strange travelers. You are about to cross my toll bridge. You must pay the toll or defeat me in battle to cross the bridge.", the man stated.

Rin, knowing how short their coffers were, went for the second choice. " Then we must battle!", she proclaimed.

" So be it!", he stated before everything seemed to shatter.

Rin, Nanami, and Kurenai were crouched in front of the man that was doing the same.

Rin's look went wide with realization, " Crap, I have Naruto on me! Hiroshi, switch places with me!".

" Okay!", he exclaimed while pouncing into Rin's spot as she ran behind them.

Nanami quickly primed her Chakra Scalpels and attacked.

MISSED

" Damn, he evaded my attack! His evasion must be really good.", Nanami hissed

Kurenai stared incredulously at her, " He only jumped back, like, 3 feet!",

Letting go of it, Kurenai prepared herself, " Now it's my turn!", and cast a genjutsu

IMMUNE

Her jaw dropped, " What?¡ How the hell is he immune to a genjutsu?¡".

As Kurenai kept complaining, it became apparent to Hiroshi that it was his turn.

" Um, um, um, um", he stuttered with sweat running down his brow. Finally, he winged it.

Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed something cocked it back, and let it fly.

" Ryou attack!", he shouted. The coins flew all the way...

Only to bounce harmlessly off the metal armor.

The man quickly scooped up all the money while everybody else was gawking at Hiroshi," The toll has been paid, you may pass!", the man announced before disappearing.

Rin stared evil eyes at Hiroshi, " You threw money at him?¡ That was your best attack?¡ Why didn't you hit him with your shock batons or something?¡", she ranted.

" I panicked!", Hiroshi answered defensively.

"For what?¡ It was obvious he wasn't going to step out of turn!", she retorted.

"Come to think of it, why the hell WERE we all taking turns?", Kurenai asked with confusion.

Rin addressed her, " Because it's a hell of alot better than a bunch of people taking chaotic turns all at the same time...and where the hell did you get that dress?".

Kurenai was wrapped in a grey dress that showed off ample cleavage and was only closed in the leg area by leather straps, blatantly showing the black stockings underneath. She also seemed to be holding a cactus.

Kurenai shrugged, " No idea, but it kinda suits me", she stated, twirling around.

Rin had to reluctantly agree, " Anyways, let's keep moving before that weirdo comes back".

* 6 hours later*

Rin looked at the blue light with wings that flew around her head. She could just make out a small human form inside the light.

"What is this thing?", she asked to noone in particular.

"Hey! Hey! Listen to me!", is cried out every so often.

Hiroshi stared at it, " I have no clue. Is it dangerous?".

" Who knows. Best just to ignore it and maybe it will go away", Rin replied.

*4 hours later*

"Hey! Hey! Listen to me. Listen! Listen!"

Rin looked ready to snap, " Shut the hell up!", she...snapped.

" Dammit that thing's annoying!", Nanami shouted as she tried to swat it away from them. Yet it evaded and kept shouting in it's little voice.

*An hour later*

Rin perked up. She didn't hear that thing anymore. She looked around.

"It's gone! Finally!", she said as she turned to the genin. "Did any of you do it?", she asked.

She was met with two nods and a glazed expression.

"Kurenai!", Rin called, snapping the girl out of lala land.

" Wha? Umm, I don't know where that thing went".

"HMMPH! MMMMPH!"

Rin looked at Kurenai with confusion, " Did...did you underwear just say something?".

Kurenai quickly put her hands up in defense, " Of course not! It's my stomach! I'm getting pretty hungry", she responded, rubbing her hand over her stomach.

" Uh, yeah. I'm getting pretty hungry too.", Rin agreed.

They decided to stop for the night and make dinner. Luckily by the time night came the blue glow emanating from under Kurenai's strange dress had faded.

* 4 days later*

They were in a dungeon, disheveled and tired, staring at a funny looking man with looks of death.

" I'm sorry to say that your princess is in another castleGURKKK!", he was cut off as Rin throttled his neck.

" THIS IS THE FIFTH CASTLE WE'VE BEEN TO! NOW YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME WHERE SHE IS OR I'M GONNA SAUTÉ' YOU IN BUTTER!¡", Rin growled with a murderous gaze, Naruto attempting to mimic her with a frown.

"Sh-she's in the castle...t-to the north!", he struggled to spit out. Rin unceremoniously dropped him to the floor.

" And how do we get there?", she asked with threat filled undercurrents.

"Th-through there", he stuttered out pointing at something.

The group turned to look at a giant green pipe sticking out of the ground of the dungeon.

*12 hours later*

Rin and company pulled themselves out the other end of the pipe looking like they just took a trip through a digestive system, physically, and emotionally.

" Kaa-sensei...th-that was disgusting", Nanami stuttered out in revulsion, her hands held out away from her body. She didn't even want to touch herself.

The other genin looked just as bad. Kurenai looked ready to throw up...again.

"If I ever see that little shit again, he'll WISH I sautéed him", Rin growled out.

"Welcome mighty warriors!", they heard from across the room.

They all looked to see a blond woman in a fancy dress

"Are you the princess who called for a courier mission?", Rin asked with hope.

The woman smiled brightly at them, " Why yes I am".

The team looked like an angel had appeared before them.

" We will happily take the item then and be on our way", Rin said with relieved tears.

" Here it is!", the princess held something in front of them.

Everyone blanched. "It's a cake", Hiroshi deadpanned.

"Yup", she answered with cheer.

Rin just heaved as long sigh. " Where do we take it?".

The princess pulled a sheet of paper out of her considerably busty bust. " To this man. He lives in the western part of the country. Now go, fine warriors!".

" How do we get out of here anyways?", Nanami asked.

The princess pointed, " That".

The team looked to see a giant metal box with wheels. Tracks were underneath said wheels. Rin remembered seeing one in snow country, except this one looked even more advanced.

" Um, how do we get it going?", asked Kurenai as the team approached it.

" Turn the key on the control board".

Kurenai did just that and watched as the lights turned to green. Suddenly the train started honking making everyone tense.

" Wah!" was the general consensus when the train, and the platform it was on, started going down into the ground.

*5 minutes later*

They were underground. Way underground.

It was some sort of research facility. That would be fine and dandy if the lights weren't out.

They had found a giant fuse block earlier and were now attempting to make a fuse in what was best described as a cold lab.

Hiroshi had figured out how minutes ago, but it was too good of a view to cut it short.

"W-w-what the hell are you looking at?", Kurenai stuttered at boy with narrowed eyes.

Hiroshi scratched his cheek, " Nothing. Just contemplating how well cold and women go together".

" Well stop contemplating and help us", Rin ordered, her fingers absolutely frozen.

" Hai!", he responded.

*30 minutes later*

" I *pant* need *pant* a breather", Rin grunted out.

They had just outrun and fought against plant monsters, zombie things, frog things, and tentacles. None of them too friendly...or way to friendly.

Rin gawked at where her tubetop and fishnet shirt should have been, the only thing keeping her moderately decent was the coat and Naruto's carrier. How the hell it got her clothes off without Naruto being in the way was astonishing.

Luckily Hiroshi had stumbled on strange devices that spit fire and metal, otherwise it would have been worse than it was.

* 2 hours later*

This was worse than it was.

"Get on the fucking train!", Rin yelled as warning alarms and red lights flashed all around them.

" THE SELF DESTRUCT SYSTEM HAS BEEN ACTIVATED. ALL EMPLOYEES PROCEED TO THE CAR AT THE BOTTOM PLATFORM. 2 MINUTES REMAINING.

"Hiroshi, get this piece of shit moving!", Rin screamed as she shot another zombie through the head.

A tall brutish looking humanoid in a black trenchcoat had just made it to the platform to see the train zip away. He fell to his monstrous knees. The whole time, the whole chase, all he wanted was a hug. Now, he would die without knowing love. Maybe in the parallel storyline-*WHITE FLASH*

*2 days later*

Rin and the genin dragged their feet up to the recipient's house. They were dirty, smelly, charred, sore, and most of all, relieved. Their mission was almost done.

Rin managed to use her upper body to swing her limp arm at the door, resulting in a knock.

A large man with a red hat and mustache answered. Very large. As in muscly lumberjack large.

" What's up?", the man asked in a deep baritone voice.

" We...have a package for you", Rin said with a tired pause, handing him the box. Even Naruto was hanging limply on front of her, sleeping like a log.

The man took the box and opened it. " Another cake huh? Looks like I'll have to..."thank her"...personally. he said as he closed up his house.

" For your troubles", he said, dropping a head sized bag in front of them before walking off towards another large green pipe, and then down it.

Rin stared at where he was earlier with half lidded eyes before turning them down towards the bag, that had spilled some of it's contents on the ground.

Four sets of eyes went wide was they gleamed at the, obviously, gold coins.

Rin picked up the bag. " To the most expensive spa...outside of this country", Rin stated in a cracked voice.

Everybody else nodded with conviction.

*With the princess in her chambers*

"Oh! How was the cake that I made yo-"

He didn't even wait for her to finish her question before grabbing at the top of her dress and ripping it off her in one motion.

" Wh-what are you doingAH!", she squeaked as he smeared the entire cake she made onto her naked form. With that accomplished, his head shot forward and sucked in

one of her cake covered breasts.

" St-stop! I don't think I'm read-AH!", she squeaked again as he picked her up and threw her on the bed. "Wh-what do you want from me?", she asked fearfully.

He looked at her with hunger," I don't want no cake. I want me some PIE!".

"S-some pie*GASP*".

*With Rin and company. Hot Water Country*

Rin sat with the genin in the hot springs. It was co-ed so Hiroshi was there as well.

" This mission never is to be talked about after our report to the Hokage", Rin stated.

" We seem to have alot of things that are "never to be talked about again", Kaa-sensei", Nanami sighed out.

" Who else noticed how many times we used the word "hell" in the last few days?", Hiroshi asked.

They all took on thoughtful looks before shaking it off.

" Anyways, so what are we going to do with what's left of the gold?". Kurenai asked with eagerness.

"Save it", was Rin's reply

"What?¡", were the cries of three genin.

" I mean it. There's enough money for each of us to buy a house, and...well...we're not going to be living together forever. Might as well have a nice house to move into once we're all done".

Her words made perfect sense. With a solemn nod, they decided to save it.

* Omake 2*

Why did he take them here of all places?

After the Hokage had dragged them out of the house, he had taken them...to...a strip club!

Hiroshi was purely red in the face as a very sexy woman bucked her naked shaved crotch in front of Hiroshi, the scent he caught making him lightheaded.

A drunk Hiruzen was laughing and talking with his arms wrapped around the hips of two topless women who couldn't have been older than 19.

Nanami would have been protesting the whole thing, hadn't she been drunk from a couple hard drinks, and currently doing a striptease in front of Hiroshi.

Kurenai wouldn't have protested at all, even if she was too busy getting a lap dance.

* 5 hours later. The Hokage Tower*

Dragon, hadn't seen hide nor hair of the Hokage since he left the tower to "get some air". Knowing there was more to it after he smelled the office, Dragon had two men search the village for him.

This wasn't the first time this had happened and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. It had even gotten worse as of late as the death toll of new teams went off the charts. The pressures of an entire, recovering, village were on one man. An old man. Many people were sure he would turn into a shell of his former self, making concessions to keep peace, others thought he might turn into a war hawk like Danzo, turning children into weapons and placing seals on everybody to maintain obedience like the Hyuga.

No. The Sandaime turned into something different. A man who didn't care about appearances anymore. Who almost shouted, " You need me, so I'll do whatever the fuck I want in between".

He still did what needed to be done, but he did it...wilder...more carelessly, and even did things that seemed to be part of a hidden agenda, or no agenda at all.

Dragon was pulled from his musings as he heard what sounded like a pair of shopping carts rolling down the road. He sent chakra to his eyes and peered into the darkness to see two small individuals pushing carts full of something, almost as if in a race with eachother.

As the carts got close enough for him to see, he blanched.

It was Hiroshi and Kurenai pushing carts with a madly giggling, naked Nanami, and a whooping, hollering Hokage.

Dragon stared, with a mortified look as they left the shopping cart at the bottom of the stairs in front of the Hokage tower.

They knocked rapidly on the door before flying down the steps and ran away into the darkness with Nanami's cart.

" GoodtimeHokagesamabye", they blurted before they left.

Dragon shunshinned in front of the Hokage who was still laying in the cart laughing.

"Are you okay Hokage-sama?", Dragon asked half assed, already smelling the alcohol wafting off of the Hokage.

His only response was to throw up his arms, " WOOOO!", before laughing like a madman again.

Dragon sighed, before grabbing onto the cart and shunshinning into the Hokage Tower.

*Omake 3*

Hiruzen puffed on his pipe as he looked at the report one of his Anbu had given him. He had specifically assigned a man to watch the situation over the months and it's inevitability had finally come.

Danzo's orphanage was complete.

He knew why the man built it. He knew too well.

The question was how or if, he could stop it.

He couldn't shut it down. That would be a PR suicide. He couldn't track the children that were in the system. There were simply too many after the Kyuubi attack. No, what he could do was much more sinister to the old mummy.

His door opened as an evil smirk fell from his face.

Koharu and Homura walked into the room looking a little annoyed. After all, it was 6 in the morning.

"What do you need to speak to us about so urgently Hiruzen", Koharu asked in a huff.

" A matter that has been brought to my attention that could use your touch Koharu", he stated with as serious voice.

The two advisors immediately perked up before the Sandaime continued.

" It has come to my attention that the transfer papers for children between orphanages is to...basic. To easy...", he paused with narrowed eyes before continuing.

" To...unbeuraucratic.", he stated to the shock of both his former teammates.

" How can this be?", Homura asked in horror.

" It is! Look at this. It just covers the actual transfer. It doesn't cover the child's medical records, dental records, optical records, psychiatric records, criminal records, tax records, political leanings, outstanding debts, religious preferences, marital status, known dependents, insurance policies, nothing! This will not do!", he proclaimed as he slapped the forms with his hands.

" W-we will see to this immediately! Mark my words!", Koharu exclaimed with determination, Koharu following suit, before they marched out the office.

Hiruzen's evil smirk came back, " Oh, I know you will", he replied to himself.

With it almost impossible for Danzo to transfer existing orphans into his orphanage, he'll have to take in new orphans, which haven't been hand picked for potential.

Meanwhile, additions were being built onto three of the existing orphanages, courtesy of the Sarutobi Clan fortune. This would make transfers even more tedious and prolonged. Hiruzen could almost see Danzo's face now.

*Undisclosed location*

A withered, bandaged face contorted in frustration as he read the report. All his orphanage was getting was drabble off the streets and civilian born children. Why weren't his men transferring children from the other orphanages?

Two men walked into the room. The reason they didn't shunshin and bow in front of him was probably because they were both carrying 12 inch stacks of paper.

"Fu, Torune. Why is it my orphanage is complete, yet neither of you have even transferred ONE child from the other orphanages.

The both started to sweat as they reported, " Danzo-sama, the reason we have not is because we are not able. Only the owner of the orphanage requesting a transfer of a child may fill out the required forms, Sir, which are then verified by signature analysts for forgery.", Fu answered with a small bow so as not to tip the stack over.

Danzo's eyebrows twitched, " It was not like this even a week ago", he argued with barely hidden anger.

"Y-yes sir. Apparently the Hokage's advisors found out about the simplicity of the transfer process and quickly made it more...beuraucratic...Sir", Fu replied.

'Those two fools? I would have expected HIruzen but...' his thought process stopped as he looked at the stacks of paper.

Another emotion filled him. Dread.

"How...many...children do those forms warrant?", he asked. Though he really didn't want to know the answer.

" Um...two Sir. There are also the processes and verifications needed for multiple agencies, including the justice department, and internal revenue agency, Sir". Torune hesitated.

' Those two agencies alone take MONTHS to get anything through!', thought Danzo in horror.

The whole room went silent for a handful of minutes.

Then, Danzo pulled the first form off of Fu's stack and started filling it out.

"S-sir. You're not really going to-"

" Put the stacks down, and leave me", Danzo ordered, cutting off Fu.

"Y-yes Danzo-sama", he answered, both of them putting the stacks down before disappearing.

' I will not give up you old paper pushers. Not by a long shot', thought Danzo as he pulled another sheet off the stack.


	12. The Deep Breath

(February 26th)

Rin squirmed in her bed. HER BED. After the incident, she bought a new bed and stuffed the romantic monstrosity into the attic, which Kurenai had refitted into her own bedroom seeing as Asuma "stayed overnight" alot. Her new bed was a nice, comfy one-up, but right now it wasn't giving her comfort. Something was off, like she was being watched. She cracked open her eyes to see three sets staring back at her. Her vision went to her alarm clock, which read 6:30, then shifted back.

"Do I have to?", she whined. All three nodded with determined looks.

"Uugh", she groaned as she reluctantly got out of bed and headed to Naruto's room.

*An hour later*

"Breakfast is ready. Enjoy it 'cause it'll be a cold day in hell before I do it again." She proclaimed as she set the food between the three, who were eyeing it like predators watching prey come into range.

**"Itadakimasu!",** was heard before the carnage set in. It sounded demonic...and legion. Rin backed up quickly. 'Honestly, it's just breakfast for heaven's sake' she thought as she started on her own plate while simultaneously feeding Naruto.

"Morning guys", Asuma proclaimed as he burst through the front door, then stopped and sniffed the air. " BREAKFAST!", he bellowed as he went supersonic and nabbed up a plate full before the ravenous trio could react. They counted their losses and grabbed up what was left.

"Honestly, you're all nuts. It's just food", Rin compained.

Asuma shot up from glomming down his plate, " Hardly! Your food is the best I've ever tasted. The world's strongest would get on their knees and beg for such delicacies. YOU RIN-CHAN! You are a godess of cooking!", he proclaimed on one knee, holding an empty plate towards Rin.

"No time for seconds", she answered as she quietly basked in the compliment.

Asuma did a shocked facefault, " Failure!"

Rin shook her head, " If you have time for theatrics, you have time to check our packs. I don't want anything forgotten that we might need 'cause it'll be a month before we come back.

Asuma got to business, " So we're staying in Suna for the entire event? I'd think we'd come back here for training before the third exam", he asked.

"Before, we could. Then various villages started complaining that they should stay in the sponsoring village for security reasons. I think they just want the home advantage when training their finalists", she stated with a sour face. She shook it off.

"Alright, clean up and get ready. We have to meet the other teams in an hour...don't...don't expect to much", she finished. The team looked at her quizically before cleaning up and getting ready.

* An hour later*

Naruto looked around happily at the early morning, his limb tubes flailing around as he hung suspended in the harness from a sulking chunin.

" Honestly, why do I have to carry him?", Asuma whined through the gurggles and sounds Naruto was making.

" Because I can't look professional with a baby flailing between my breasts", Rin countered.

" How am I supposed to look professional?¡", he cried out indignantly. Rin held up a finger.

"One, you're a chunin, so nobody EXPECTS you to look professional, and two, you don't have breasts!", she exclaimed

"Damn right I don't. And who the fuck expects a jounin to look professional?", he grumbled, only briefly registering that the genin were walking past them at a faster pace. They were obviously excited about the Chunin Exams, but they were also hoping to see all their friend from the academy.

Their dispositions quickly changed to confusion when the other teams came into view. There were only a small number of faces that they even recognized, but what truly confused them were the other teams' conditions. They were ragged, weary, on edge, some even looked shell shocked. All in all, they all looked like shit. 7 other teams and they all looked like they just got off the worst mission of their lives.

They hadn't realized it, but they had stepped back in pace with Rin and Asuma.

" I told you not to expect much", Rin said to them quietly as they approached the other teams. She wished she had followed her own advice as well because as far as the senseis for the teams went, they looked just as bad as, if not worse than, their charges.

She spied the two jounin the Hokage had told her about. She picked the female out of the two, who seemed to be watching her team intently.

" Um, excuse me", Rin called to the woman. When the woman turned around, Rin involuntarily took a step back. The jounin's unkempt hair was a dull brown, like it had been uncared for in weeks, but that wasn't what shocked Rin. It was her eyes. Dull, crazed looking green eyes stared back at her. Dark circles hung underneath her eyes, like she hadn't slept in days.

"Yes! How can I help you?", the jounin asked with a smile that did little to assure and just made Rin shudder.

" Uh...yeah, my... team is participating in the exams, so I... was wondering who I was supposed to... check in with", Rin asked uncomfortably. She had to force herself not to reach for her kunai holster.

The crazed looking jounin seemed to go off in a daze before snapping back to reality.

" Oh! I see! Heh. Umm, the Hokage told us Inuzuka Rin was in charge", she stated.

Rin's eyebrows shot up. " I'm in charge?".

The crazed woman regarded Rin again, which caused Rin to shudder again. Then another smile that made it a double.

" You're Inuzuka Rin? Huh, then I should be checking in with you, hahahaha. Um, I'm Ishimura Miyuki, the sensei of the new new new new...new...team 7", she proclaimed. Rin didn't find it encouraging how accurate Miyuki had to be with how "new" her team was. Rin looked down at the genin she had been watchin over. Two boys and a girl, all sat quietly with dull, weary eyes, one of the boys looked worse than the other two. Rin could only guess what kind of hell they've seen.

" This is Toyo", Miyuki stated pointing at the worst looking genin, " This is Renji, and this is Kagura-"

"Yukari", the genin kunoichi corrected her.

Miyuki's eyes widened, " W-what?".

"My name is Yukari, Miyuki-sensei", the girl answered quietly.

"R-right...Yukari...gomen", Miyuki apologized quietly. The silence was deafening until a loud shout stole everyone's attention.

*With the Rin Brigade*

As soon as Rin had approached the creepy Jounin, Hiroshi and Nanami had broken off from the team and started looking for familiar faces. So far, what they were seeing was depressing them.

"Hiroshi, would this have happened to us if we didn't get stuck with Rin-sensei?", Nanami asked quietly. Hiroshi was watching as two, obviously, mismatched teammates glared daggers at eachother while a meek chunin tried to calm them down.

" Yeah, we would have", he finally replied in a sombre tone. Then, he perked up, " Hey! It's Kouta!", he proclaimed before darting off, Nanami following behind. Hiroshi stopped in front of a male genin with black hair and the telltale eyes of a Hyuuga with his headband covering his forehead. He looked up from checking his pack and his eyes widened.

" H-Hiroshi, Nan-ami. I haven't seen you guys i-in months. I...t-though you guys...were...a-anyways, where have you guys been?", he asked in a quiet voice, nothing like he used to. Hell, Kouta used to be known as the loudest Hyuuga to grace the Konoha Academy. This quiet, stuttering version didn't sit well with the two. Nanami was the first to find her voice.

" Uh...we were regrouped with another team on a long term assignment. What happened to the rest of your team Kouta? I remember you being with Mikan", Nanami asked. Hell if she remembered correctly, the disshelved looking jounin Rin-sensei was talking to was the sensei for Team 7, yet none of the genin she was near were familiar except one, and only because she remembered seeing him in the class before hers while in the academy.

"She's dead"

The pairs eyes widened as their breath caught in their throats. Meanwhile, Kouta continued.

" M-Mikan, Shinji, R-roshi, Sanya, all of them, from the Kyubi attack, or the "Missions" they send us on", he finished, gritting his teeth at the end, before regaining his composure.

Hiroshi, trying to get rid of the lead feeling in his stomach, focused on something else, like the bruise on the side of Kouta's face, " D-did you get in a fight in your last mission?", he asked distractingly, until he noticed the rest of Kouta's team seemed to have bruises as well, and in different places. All three of them looked like they were trying to hide them.

" Uh...yeah. It was a tough one", Kouta answered as he brushed his long hair over the bruise. Nanami, still trying to cope with the idea that almost all of her graduating class was dead, quietly offered her skills.

" I can heal that bruise...if you want me to that is". He looked at her with an unknown look before shaking his head.

" No..that's fine Nanami. I get them all the time, so it's not like-"

"OY! STOP TALKING AND GET YOUR FRAIL ASSES READY!"

*With Rin*

Miyuki and Rin turned to see a chunin shouting obscenities and orders at his team. Miyuki stayed quiet while Rin could see Hiroshi and Nanami backing away.

" If you has so much energy to talk, then you can carry my fucking pack!", the chunin yelled, throwing a large pack at Kouta none-too-gently, which knocked the boy on his ass, causing the asenine chunin to laugh. Rin grit her teeth. She would love to put the ugly skinhead in his place, but she doubted she would make a good impression with the rest of the group by wiping the floor with one of the team leaders. She would wait for now.

" A-ano Rin-san. I-is there some reason you're glaring at me?", Miyuki asked uncomfortably. Rin came out of her thoughts to see she was facing the disturbed kunoichi.

" Ah! Gomen Miyuki-san. I got lost in my thoughts", she excuses herself.

" I-it happens to the best of us", Miyuki replied with a less than reassuring smile, but then anything on her face in her present state was anything but reassuring.

Rin finally decided to get the show on the road before her mood deteriorated any worse.

" Alright! Since the Hokage put me in charge of this party, I want all the team leaders to sound off their numbers!", she ordered.

"Team 2", the meek chunin barely called.

"Team 8"

"Tch...Team 9", the skinhead chunin growled out in annoyance.

"Team 5"

" T-team 7", Miyuki proclaimed, looking back at her team to make sure it was still there.

"Team 3", the other jounin proclaimed

"Team 4", the last team leader called out

Rin looked over to Nanami and Hiroshi, who had slunk back to where Asuma and Kurenai were, with a questioning look. Hiroshi caught on and held up six fingers.

" My team is Team 6. With such a large group, it's going to take seven or eight days to get to Suna. Every team is to stay in sight of the group, so no wandering off. If everyone is ready, let's move out!", she exclaimed. With that, the eight teams started their trek towards Suna.

*Two days later*

Rin had been studying the other teams intently while keeping herself behind them. What she saw was disheartening to say the least. Team 2 was a cluster fuck. Two boys, that obviously wanted to see the others guts spilled, fought constantly, while the third boy just kept to himself. The Chunin in charge of the "team" was so non confrontational that he never raised his voice to get them to stop. Rin had to wonder how such a meek person made it to chunin to begin with.

Team 7 was a mess to say the least. Their sensei, Miyuki, watched over her team fanatically, like they were going to disappear right in front of her. It was obvious she had PTSD bad, along with 2 of the 3 genin, the ones who had just been transfered to Miyuki from a defunct team. The longest serving genin, Toyo, just looked broken. Rin could guess that the only reason Miyuki didn't have the same condition was her amount of experience as a jounin, which means she would likely crash worse if she finally went over the edge. Altogether, a very fragile team.

Team 3 was only a team in the academic sense. The jounin sensei seemed to keep himself disconnected from the genin he led, most likely a deffense mechanism to avoid any heartache if any of the genin in his group died. While it may keep him sane, it did nothing for the genin, who seemed like they hadn't learned much of anythng from him and didn't radiate much self esteem either. The girl in the team seemed to try to get his attention through various means, but with little luck. Rin had talked to the girl the day before and the girl gabbed her hear off. It was obvious she was attention starved. Her teammates sure as hell didn't talk much, like they had adopted their sensei's attitude. It would piss Rin off if her anger wasn't all used up on something else.

Team 9

The jackass in charge of the team constantly berated the genin, yelled at them, and worse...they had bruises. To a regular person, this might appear normal for the profession they were in, but to a medical professional like Rin, there were three things wrong. One, if it was a fight, they should have a hell of alot more than just a couple, taijutsu attacks alone would bruise their limbs greatly. Two, they were untreated, and three, they were trying to hide them. Hell one of the girls in the team had a bruise from a dislocated shoulder.

It could only be from abuse, which just added to the fire that was Rin's anger towards their leader. He had beed contradictive to every one of Rin's descisions, and was starting to level glares at Naruto. She was one argument away from sending the asshole through a tree, image be damned.

Her team didn't socialize much with the other teams anyways, opting just to walk alongside of her. Most likely this was because of alienation due to their sheltered lives in comparison to the other teams. Rin didn't know if she should feel sorry or relieved.

Seeing the sun ready to set, she pulled herself from her thoughts and called out to the rest of the party, " Alright, setup camp for the night".

With that, the group started pitching tents. Rin watched her group until she noticed something strange as hell.

" Hiroshi, why the hell are you setting up a teepee? I thought you had a regular tent", she asked with a quirked eyebrow.

He scratched the side of his head as he answered," The key word is HAD, which didn't last two days! So, I made it into a teepee", he finished as Nanami crawled out of the teepee.

" Why did you stop? We almost have it up", she asked with her hands on her hips.

" Where the hell is your tent Nanami?" Rin asked while pinching the bridge of her nose. Nanami sheepishly stuck her thumb towards the teepee. Whatever explanation she was going to give was cut off by the scream of a girl. When they looked, said girl was just landing from a vicious kick.

"You stupid bitch! You put a hole in my tent! Can't you do one fucking thing right?¡", the skinheaded chunin snarled as he shunshinned behind her, grabbed one of her arms, and twisted it behind her.

" I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please stop!", she cried out as the strain on her shoulder became more and more painful. Rin had already started moving towards them, her muscles tense, yet with a total lack of killer intent.

" Why the hell should I do that?¡ It's not like you'll miss them with how fucking clumsy you are!", he bellowed, cruelly tightening the hold until a crack was heard and the girl screamed. Before he could go on any further, her heard a low, farrel voice behind him.

"Let her go"

He turned to see the darkened face of the bitch that he got stuck following. He sneered in contempt at her, " This has nothing to do with a demon lover lik-". The next thing he knew, he was slammed against a tree by his throat with a tanto shaking millimeters away from his left eye. The only reason the tanto didn't find purchase was the smoking chunin holding the arm fast.

Many believe that there is a certain expression a person makes just before commiting murder. An expression of resolution, hate, malice, and a dozen different emotions man has not even labelled yet. Rin's was frozen in time, just like the tanto she had been attempting to plunge into the skinhead's brain. Such a face would make a kage cringe by staring at it.

For the chunin, he shit himself.

Rin's expression turned to confusion for only a fraction of a second, before KI flooded the area and her face took on a look of rage, " Get out of here. You no longer have a team you piece of shit", she spat out drenched in venom as she dropped him to the ground.

He spent a second too long scrambling to get up as a kick landed to his side, " I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!¡", Rin roared, sending the man 30 feet away before he scrambled up and ran off.

Rin was still pissed, and turned it on the leaders that were in the clearing, " Why the hell didn't any of you step in?¡ DO YOU LIKE SEEING KIDS GET ABUSED?¡ If I see ANY of you pull something like that I will END YOU!¡", she spat. Most of them just bunched into themselves, looking like they wanted to disappear.

By this time the rest of Team 9 and all of Team 7 (Miyuki insisting on keeping her team in sight) came back to the clearing from gathering wood, to see what the comotion was about. Upon seeing what happened to their purple haired comrade, Kouta and the other teammate dropped their wood and ran over to help the girl, who was nursing her dislocated shoulder.

The girl flinched when Rin kneeled beside her and started inspect the injury.

" He did the same thing to your other shoulder as well, right?" she asked the girl, gaining a shaky nod. Rin's hands started to shake from the loss of adrenaline as the situation hit her full force.

" Nanami, can you take over for me?", she croaked out. Nanami quietly switched over for her as she got up to go collect herself back at the campsite. Nanami knew what to do.

" What happened?", Miyuki asked Asuma, who was still in the place he intercepted Rin's murder attempt. He listened to Nanami telling the girl she needed to relocate the joint before he answered with a sigh, " An abusive team leader".

"Oh, I see", she whispered as she seemed to shrink in on herself.

"1..2..3! *CRUNCH*", " AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!¡!¡"

Everybody shuddered hearing that. Miyuki perked back up, " Umm, let's set up camp guys", she stated with a forced smile.

Asuma shuddered before sighing to himself and making his way over to Rin.

"...I'm making you the temporary leader of Team 9', she stated in a shaky voice as she built a fire. Asuma grunted an affirmation but stayed right behind Rin.

The crackle of the fire dominated until Rin spoke again, " Thanks...If you didn't stop me...", she trailed off. Asuma put his hands on her shoulders.

" What are lovers for? Besides, I don't like conjugal visists all that much, " he joked, gaining a shaky laugh out of Rin.

" I don't know what the hell came over me", she replied with sadness. Asuma had an idea.

" It's like I told Pops, you picked up more of the Inuzuka traits than you think", he . Inuzukas were infamous for deffending children, even if they weren't their own. Almost as infamous as their blatant perversity. Many a child beaters found their end at the hands of an Inuzuka, which didn't bother the Uchihas too much since it meant less red tape and paperwork at the station. Killing a child abuser and having the KPF label it as self deffense was one thing, killing a leaf shinobi in plain sight of a group of jounin, chunin, and genin was another.

" You make it sound like a bad thing Asuma", she retorted hysterically, thinking again how close she was to screwing up her life again.

" What? Hell no...well in some situations...but in the big picture, no. It's a damn good trait to have. Hell, if you go that length for a kid you don't know, think how far you'll go for our-", he immediately shut up and looked away from Rin who was now staring a hole through his head, the curiosity burning off whatever shock she was in.

" What were you going to say?", she prodded the chunin.

" Well, I better see to my temporary team", he excused himself obviously. Rin pointed at the retreating chain-smoker.

" OI! Don't ignore me! I know what you were going to say! You're as bad as your old man! DON'T JUST WAVE ME OFF! HMPF!", she huffed as she sat back down with her arms crossed and a pout on her face.

'Honestly, you let them into your pants and they're already jumping for the next step. Typical man...wait...that doesn't sound right...nevermind. What were we talking about before?'

Before she could remember, her three charges walked up before her with stern faces...well, except for Kurenai, who couldn't quite pull it off with Naruto attached to her.

" Inuzuka Rin", Nanami started.

'Uh Oh' Rin thought as she shrunk down. What followed was a strange scene of a Jounin-sensei being chewed out by her genin. Asuma was too preoccupied with other things to enjoy the show, mainly gaining the trust of a girl who was just assaulted by her last sensei. His first attempt made her back 10 feet away and press up against a tree, looking like a cornered animal.

" Just how many times has she been abused?", he asked more to himself than anyone around him, yet Kouta answered.

" She got it more than either of us. It wasn't as bad before one night she clawed him and ran out of her...tent", he trailed off as a severed cigarette fell from Asuma's teeth. ' If that son of a bitch was still here, I'd kill him myself", he thought darkly. He calmed his expression moments later and looked at the girl. ' She can't be more than ten'.

" He didn't do anything to you that time did he?", he asked evenly. The girl slowly shook her head in response. Asuma smiled at her.

" Did you attack him before he could?" he asked, gaining a slow nod a while later. He nodded as well, " Good girl", he praised her as he sat down facing her ten feet away. She had a look of surprise on her face.

" I won't lie to you or try to sugar coat it. What he did...everything he did...was wrong. And it's not what I'm going to do..",

" How do I know that?", the girl snapped deffensively. Asuma took it in stride and smirked. ' It's a start' he thought as he pointed behind himself.

" You see the team behind me?".

The girl looked to see the woman who almost killed the team leader, apologizing over and over again to a trio of older kids who seemed to be chastizing her about her actions. The girl looked back at Asuma.

" I personally helped train them. Do any of them look hurt or afraid?", he asked. The girl looked back to see the genin hugging the woman after scolding her. They looked more like a family than a team. She turned back to Asuma and shook her head.

" You can count on exactly the same treatment from me. I don't know how much I can help you before the first and second parts of the exam, but if you make it to the third, I'll make sure you're ready for it", he stated to all three, but mostly the girl who seemed to be calming down. He shifted so he was sitting on the ground before pulling out a cigarette.

" So, what's your name?", he asked the purple haired girl. She seemed to contemplate whether she should tell him before casting her eyes down to the ground.

" Yugao", she answered with reservation.

" Yugao huh, that's a very pretty name", he responded with a smile, which surprisingly gained a blush from the girl.

" So, Yugao-chan, how old are you?", he asked as he lit up the cigarette.

" Um, I'm 9", she answered hesitantly. Asuma's eyebrows rose at this.

" You graduated from the academy at the age of 9? You must be very skilled. Under the right jounin sensei, you could be in Anbu in no time". he proclaimed with amazement. Though, it was more for her benefit since he actually graduated at the same age, yet his was more under the pretenses of the Third shinobi war while hers was under peace time. Yet, apparently, something he said confused her.

" Jounin sensei?", she asked. Asuma quirked an eyebrow at this.

" You never had a jounin sensei?", he asked already knowing half the answer. She shook her head and looked to Kouta to explain, which he did.

" A week after the Kyuubi attack, the teachers came in with some higher ranking officials and made us do a test that looked like it was made for "special" people. Then they had us fight eachother a bit then made us do Kawarimi, Henge, and the Bushin. Then after that, the teachers and officals argued, and EVERYBODY passed. Then they gave us chunins and told us they'd be our instructors.", he finished while Asuma looked like he just took a bite out of a lemon. He wasn't expecting ALL of that.

' Dammit Pops, how the hell is this HELPING the situation. Taking the potential of the village and throwing it at the wolves' he mentaly growled, before a sense of commitment seemed to take him.

" We'll just have to fix that when we get back now won't we. First off, I want a demonstration of what the hell you three know*GRUMBLE*...after dinner." he finished holding out a hand for Yugao, which she hesitantly took moments later.

" Can we stop the group hug now? I think my utter humiliation is complete", Rin complained. The genin sweatdropped.

" You almost commit murder and you're worried about humility?", Kurenai spoke unbelievingly.

A flash of regret played across Rin's face before it turned to annoyance, " Half our lives are almost's and what if's Kurenai. WHAT IF I hadn't been there to swoop in and get you when the Kyuubi lunged", she said looking to Hiroshi and Nanami, who looked like they were going to be sick. " Naruto ALMOST got killed by my ex-teammate-", she looked at Naruto, who was dead asleep inside the carrier. " WHAT IF you hadn't stopped to perform that genjutsu" she looked at Kurenai whose features told she was thinking about it, and didn't like the outcome. " The answer is, it DIDN'T. Be thankful, learn from it, and move on. That's all you can really do. Now get get get!", she shooed them away, " I still have to pitch my damn tent", she grumbled.

The warm fuzzy feeling was starting to get annoying. She made her way over to her splayed out tent and started setting up.

" Honestly this is easer than pie. How the hell did *RRIIIIPP"". Rin stared at the ripped tent with a disgruntled look. Minutes went by before Asuma, with company quietly in tow, walked up behind her.

" Hey Rin-chan! I brought company to taste...what the hell happened to your tent?", Asuma asked crassly. Rin's head slowly seemed to do a 180 with her body staying put. Team 9 convieniently moved itself behind Asuma as a shield from the scary woman, but Asuma always knew how to diffuse her...and spot an opportunity.

" Alright. You make dinner for 8, and I'll try fixing your tent. Now let's just set this down and make our way over to the campfire", he gently ordered as he lead the contorted woman to the campfire. One he had her head back on straight, he made his way back over to the malfed up tent and stared at it along with Team 9. Yugao picked it up with her fingers, before letting it drop to the ground like a dead animal.

" Well...this thing is FUBAR"

Hearing that from a 9 year old was cute to Asuma in some warped way. Yet it was the truth.

' How the hell am I going to fix this?' He told her the 4 for 100ryou was a crappy deal.

" Is she always like that?", Kouta piped in, gaining confusion from Asuma until he pointed to Rin.

" Nah, only when she's stressed out or hungry...or tired...or it's that time of the month. Other than that she's usually coolheaded. She's been through alot in the last year. We all have really.", he explained while watching Rin shanghai Nanami out of her teepee to help cook dinner. '...a teepee'. But that was two tents in one. Perking up he laid eyes on Kurenai, who was setting up her boondoggle tent. A smirk played on his face.

A scare, a rip, a mad girl, and a lost personal tent later, Asuma looked to his squad, " Any of you know how to sew?". Kouta raised his hand which surprised Asuma.

"What? My mom taught me. ", Kouta replied deffensively.

" Nothing wrong with that. Alright, you get to help me".

(An hour later)

Rin sipped the stew that she made over the impromtu stove. It was almost ready.

" Rin! Check out our new dwelling!", she heard from Asuma behind her.

'Our?' she managed to think before turning around and promptly dropping the ladel as she gawked at the teepee clone.

" Hey! You stole our idea Asuma-sensei!", Hiroshi accused the grinning chunin.

"No patent, no foul Hiroshi", he retorted, still beaming.

" You expect me to sleep in that thing?", Rin asked, pointing incredulously.

" No, I expect US to sleep in this thing, since I gave Kurenai my tent, and as soon as possible, we're getting you guys all tents that ARE NOT from the bargain bin, and DON'T have "Made In Tsuchi No Kuni" tags on them", he chided her as he held up the tags. Rin had the decency to look sheepish. "W-well dinner is almost ready so get your squad over here", she spoke humbly.

Dinner was on, and aparently Team 7 thought so as well. Luckily, Rin always made more than needed. They weren't what had Rin's interest though. It was the little purple haired girl named Yugao. She had been closely following Asuma like a lost puppy, ever since Asuma took over Team 9. Currently, she was sitting right next to Asuma on the log that had been commissioned as a seat. Asuma was not oblivious to this, as he seemed to fidget every now and then to try gaining some space, yet the girl would move down with him every time. Asuma had finally run out of log and resigned himself to the situation. Rin chuckled as she sat on the other side of Yugao. Asuma chose to ignore it but Yugao didn't as she looked at Rin with a calculating glare and defiantly scooted closer to Asuma. The stare off was cut short when Asuma fell off the end of the log. He embarassingly rubbed the back of his head and excused himself. Yugao put on a pout and kept eating while Rin held in her laughter.

As day turned into night, dinner turned into small talk between the three teams as the others kept to themselves. For the first time in a long time, team 7 was able to talk with another team. Asuma lectured team 9 on some of the basics of elemental manipulation. He had very little time to hone them before the chunin exams, and nothing would up their chances in such a short time as giving them some offensive and deffensive jutsus.

The first thing he did was check their elemental affinities. Three pieces of chakra paper later ( Rin honestly wanted to know what it was with Sarutobis and being prepared) and he had a firm idea of what to teach them. For two of them, it was fire, including a Hyuga that he shockingly found out, had never been taught Juken. That was about as surprising as his little shadow, who he had found out was a wind user.

A 27 year old Asuma would be thrilled to have a wind user as a student. A 14 year old one, not so much.

He had just begun learning it a year ago, so teaching it would be difficult, especially due to him lacking any jutsus for it yet, just his elemental manipulation and his trench knives.

Rin watched as he gave the girl a spare trench knife. She looked like she was just given a priceless family heirloom. As he started teaching her the basics, Miyuki spoke up alongside Rin.

" That's so cute! They look just like a parent and daughter. I hope I can have the same with my daughter", she said in a hopeful tone as she pulled out a picture wallet and showed it to Rin. In it was a little girl who looked to be a year old or more, with brown eyes and her brown hair up in pigtails, looking with an awe on her face at the camera with a much saner and happier looking Miyuki with her arms wrapped around her from above.

Rin would have commented on the cute pic had she not seen a glimpse of the photo underneath. Before she could discern what it was, Miyuki put the wallet back in her pack.

"It's a little old, since I haven't seen her in a few months", she further explained, causing Rin's curiosity to shift.

" A few months? Where has she been staying? With her father?", she asked in confusion.

" Umm, no. He...he died a month before the attack so...she...I had to give her up to the orphanage", she answered as her eyes dulled even more, something Rin thought impossible before.

Rin's eyes widened, " Why? Isn't there anybody you could have left her with?", she asked desperately. She never had to stay at an orphanage, but she knew enough kids in the academy who did. The orphanages were a crappy thing for a kid to go through. Overfilled, underfunded, and nothing a child needed growing up in the ways of attention or affection.

Miyuki shook her head, " Ishimura is just a pretty name on a piece of paper...I was an orphan...her father was an orphan, and she...well...who knows what tommorow might bring haha", she tried ending cheerfully. It just made it worse in Rin's ears.

"You shouldn't talk like that. Of course you'll get to see her again. This nightmare can't last forever".

Miyuki's eyes shaded over, " It lasted long enough for them...anyways! I better check on my team. Gotta make sure they don't get lost...or walk into a mine field...or get abducted...or burned alive", she trailed down to a whisper before getting up and going to where her team was practicing. Rin could only look on after her descriptive ways for a person to die.

She wanted to see what that picture was now. Before she could ponder the matter anymore, Asuma walked up with a sheepish smile,

"Um, Rin-chan. Remember when I said we would be sleeping in the same tent? Well..."

Rin stared at the ceiling of the teepee with a disgruntled face. She then looked to the side of her to see a purple haired girl snoring away like a buzzsaw and Asuma on the other side of her snoring just as loud. Apparently Yugao lost her tent in, as Asuma put it, " Some spat with her teacher". He was vague on the details, but Rin didn't press the matter lest she find out then try hunting him down and killing him slowly.

The problem now was that Rin couldn't sleep. Usually, she fell asleep before Asuma turned on the sawmill, but with Yugao, who was a restless sleeper, it added a whole new level of difficulty.

Though Rin was almsot sure some of those kicks to the leg were intentional. The pint sized ninja was obviously crushing hard on Asuma and saw her as "competition".

Well, the little brat was months too late for that. Asuma was already hers.

Finishing her thoughts, she got out of the teepee and headed for the campfire to where Hiroshi was on his shift. Approaching him, she could see him staring across the fire. She looked in the direction he was staring to see Miyuki crouched over on a log, obviously asleep.

" How long has she been out here?",

To his credit, Hiroshi didn't seem startled by her sudden presence.

" She's been out here the whole time. She dozed off about 10 minutes ago", he answered quietly.

Rin nodded, knowing how Miyuki looked on a daily basis. The body would force sleep on a person if they didn't do so themselves. The creepy jounin had obviously been trying not to get any at all.

Rin's previous curiosities came to the forefront once again. She crept over to Miyuki's bag and stealthily rifled though it before finding the picture wallet Miyuki had shown her earlier. Making her way back over to Hiroshi, the genin gave her and incredulous stare.

" Isn't that stealing?", he whispered harshly.

Rin waved him off as she sat down next to him.

" Reconaisance", she quipped. Contrary to his previous argument, Hiroshi leaned in as well to look.

1st picture: A younger, healthier looking Miyuki in the arms of a brown haired man

2nd picture: A wedding photo of the couple

3rd picture: A pregnant Miyuki and the man holding her stomach from behind

4th picture: A photo of the girl in Miyuki's arms right after being born.

5th pictue: The photo that she saw earlier.

"Did she loser her kid or something? Is that why she's crazy?", Hiroshi asked. Rin shook her head

" No. The kid's alive, the husband isn't, but I doubt that alone would be enough", she replied quietly. With that, she started thumbing through the rest.

6th picture: Miyuki with Team 7...at least she thought...none of the faces were familiar.

" Hey, those are kids from our graduating class", Hiroshi realized. Rin quirked an eyebrow at that.

7th picture: Miyuki with a solemn look and three other students, including Toyo. Only the orange haired girl in the picture looked cheerful..yet there were small signs that she was "trying".

" Th-that's Mikan. But...she was on Team 3", Hiroshi mumbled in confusion. Rin started to get a bad feeling in her stomach.

8th picture: The orange haired girl was gone, replaced by an obviously Uchiha male. Miyuki had a plastered on smile.

"W-what"

9th picture: Only Toyo and Miyuki were left. Two girls filled the spots where the Uchiha and the other boy weren't. Toyo looked broken, and Miyuki's smile did nothing for her dead eyes.

10th picture: Rin felt like shuddering like Hiroshi had just done. If not for her experience, she would have. Mikyuki's crazed expression was fully bloomed, pinpoint pupils and all. Toyo looked as if he turned off his emotions all together. Yukari looked uncomfortable as hell and Renji looked worryingly at Miyuki.

It had to be the creepiest picture Rin had ever seen, yet obviously the woman's desperate attempt to cling onto something to keep herself from going off the deep end.

"They're all dead aren't they?", It was more of a statement than a question, but Rin nodded regardless.

Hiroshi went quiet until he spoke up again, " So that leaves..how many teams left?".

Rin figured he already knew most of the situation, there was no point in keeping it from him, " Twelve. Eleven of them multiply cannibalised like Miyuki's".

"...I can't even imagine losing one student after all that's happened",

Neither could Rin. Another name to add to the list of dead friends, teammates, senseis. She'd be a mess.

"Maybe we can help her out or something", HIroshi pondered, which put Rin's full attention back on him. She quickly bashed the idea

" No, keep your distance from her. She's a jounin afterall".

Hiroshi gave her an admonishing look, " You're not going to start that whole, " Jounin can control thier emotions" crap are-"

" NO, Hiroshi. She's a jounin in skill and combat, so do you really think you could hold your own against her if she did snap? If it was a civilian, you could try all you want, but when it's a person that can twist your head in the opposite direction faster than you can blink it's a different story. I don't think this trip is helping her at all either", she reasoned with a stern look. Hiroshi paled at the thought and shuddered.

" Just leave anything to do with her to me-", Before she could finish the rest of her sentence, Miyuki began to stir. Rin realized she was still holding the wallet. With quick thinking and precision aim...she threw the wallet at the bag, tipping it over and spilling it's contents, the wallet laying with it.

" Smooth" Hiroshi deadpanned sarcastically, gaining a bulging vein from Rin.

" The firelight threw me off", she countered in a huff. Once Miyuki completely woke up, her expression went from dazed to horrified. She shot up from her seat and bolted for her students tents. She yanked open each entrance, as if she was making sure they were still there. Once she checked all three tents, she visibly relaxed and walked back to her seat. Rin thought about speaking up, but before she could, she watched as Miyuki's face grew angry, and in the next moment, she raised her hand and smacked herself across the cheek.

Both Hiroshi and Rin flinched when she did. Considering the resounding *CRACK*, it had to have hurt. When tears started running down her face, they knew they were right. Miyuki refocused, and it was only then she noticed the faces of Rin and her student staring at her from across the fire. Her face turned red as the embarassement set in.

"U-umm. Just trying to stay awake you know hahahahaha", she nervously laughed, or at least they thought it was nervous laughter. Hiroshi seemed to find his voice first.

" Uh, maybe you should just get some sleep-"

"NO!"

Hiroshi shut up right there and then.

" Uh-hahah I mean what if something happens? I can't save them if they get abducted if I'm asleep...get abducted and..."

"Like Mikan?", Rin asked.

Whatever sort of appeasing...gentle..face Miyuki was trying to pull off disappeared in an instant, leaving her with a look a professional killer gave their enemy.

" How did you know that?", she cut out, her voice cold and sharp, nothing like the bumbling speech they heard from her before.

" The Hokage left me in charge Miyuki-san, He gave me most of the details-"

" Then keep it to yourself", Miyuki cut her off in a steely tone before getting up and heading off into the woods.

"W-why did you do that?", asked Hiroshi in a trembling voice. That little exchange scared the piss out of him.

She regarded her scared-shitless student, " One, to prove a point to you. Two, to see how bad she really is. I don't want you or the other two anywhere near her...in fact...stay away from her team alltogether."

" Kinda hard when they invite themselves over for dinner", Hiroshi retorted.

"...That can't be helped...in fact it might be a good oportunity. Just stay near me or Asuma", Rin compromised.

" Asuma's only a chunin", Hiroshi countered.

" So he says he is. But then how did he intercept me from killing that other chunin?", Rin smirked. Asuma was stronger than he let people think he was. " Anyways, go back to bed. I don't want you out here alone with her so I'll stay up",

Hiroshi nodded and started making his way back to his teepee, but then paused and looked back at Rin.

" Hey Kaa-sensei..", he started, then stared at her as she stared back.

He blinked.

Then next thing he knew, his vision was fuzzy and Rin was standing in front of his with his glasses on her face.

" Woah...I have a ways to go", Hiroshi mumbled in shock and awe.

" Yes you do", Rin agreed as she pulled Hiroshi's glasses off and stuck them back on his face," But you'll get there eventually".

Hiroshi nooded dumbly before continuing his trek back to his teepee.

The trip dragged on. Luckily, Miyuki slipped her thin layer of sanity back on but it was obvious Rin had struck a chord in the woman because it had more holes in it than swiss cheese.

***flashback***

Miyuki helped her students pack up their tents the morning after Rin's small confrontation. Rin was a ways away bickering with her group about how the hell to pack up the two teepees.

" There! Haha. Good to go Renji. Now I can help you out Kagura"

"Sensei. My name's Yukar-"

" I know what your fucking name is!", Miyuki snapped at the girl.

"h-hai s-sensei", the girl trembled out as tears from fearful eyes ran down her cheeks.

Everyone in teams six and nine besides Hiroshi and Rin stared in shock at what just happened. They looked to Rin, but she shook her head.

Luckily, Mikyuki regained herself and apologised to Kagura...which is what the poor girl would be called for the rest of the time, never having the courage to try and correct the woman again.

***flashback end* **

All in all, a very fucked up trip. Since then, Rin has drugged Miyuki's food with "happy medicine", leaving her more..stable. She has also found out a very intriguing fact.

***Yes another one.***

" -should send you back to preschool! If I catch you two fighting again, I'll make you walk the rest of the way to Suna NAKED! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?¡", Rin roared at the shivering, and nodding "genin" that had been fighting all the time in Team 2. Once she had instilled her fear into them, she cocked her sights towards the chunin " leader".

" And you! Why the hell are you letting this crap take place?¡ You're supposed to be leading them dammit! How the hell did you make chunin if you have no leadership skills?¡"

The chunin nervously scratched his cheek, " Umm, m-mostly my accounting skills"

Rin's face went blank, " ...your...accounting skills..."

The chunin finally cracked, " Look, I don't know what to do! I haven't even touched a kunai since I became a clerk for Administrations! Then Hokage-sama gives me this bunch of genin and tells me to "do my best", and that's what I've been doing, but it's really hard!", he whined.

"You're...you're a desk ninja..."

"Yes!", he cried.

Everything fell silent as Rin stared at...through the man, then she started walking towards a dense patch of trees until she disappeared into the thick.

" MOTHER FUCKING HORSE SHIT!¡ OF ALL THE RETARDED FUCKING COCK SUCKING ASS LICKING-"

It went on like this for a while as the entire group watched in morbid fascination as a thick tree in the middle took the brunt of whatever she was dishing out, until it started groaning and then fell into the woods. The string of vile tounge ceased and Rin walked back out of the underbrush with a look of dark resolve. She stopped right where she was in front of the clerk ninja.

" ALL CHUNIN TEAM LEADERS FRONT AND CENTER NOW!¡"

They were in front of her in an instant.

" NOT YOU ASUMA!"

He sighed in relief and then ran away.

Two females and two males were in front of her looking like a cadet review in Anbu.

Rin took a breath, " Who here...has been promoted to chunin through the exams?", she asked with underlying threat.

Only one hand went up. The other male, who still looked like he was in his teens.

" And who here, has taught their team anything USEFUL since they had them?"

Again, only one hand went up, that of one of the females.

Rin grit her teeth, " I see. And what was it?"

" U-um...s-sticking a leaf to..your forehead"

"...that's an excercise for first year academy students!", Rin growled out inches from the woman's face.

"w-w-well I am a first year academy instructor", the chunin squeaked.

A crow flew by-

"Aho! Aho! Ahgck!"

And fell feet away with a kunai sticking out of it.

Rin's head creaked and screeched as it turned to the other female.

" And WHAT are you?"

She was scared shitless, " I-I'm from the decryption core".

It did the same when she turned to the last male.

" 'You a desk ninja too?", she asked gutterally.

The chunin shook his head.

" So why haven't you taught them anything?", she growled out.

" Unless you want me to teach them seduction skills, I'm at a loss", he shrugged.

Rin looked about ready to blow up...and then she went still, looked up...and smiled.

" You know what? YES. I do want you to teach them seduction skills. All of them. EVERYTHING YOU KNOW."

The chunin gawked at her, " But they can't be any older than 12!"

"THAT'S AN ORDER, AND YOU START NOW!", Rin roared. The chunin shut up, saluted, and ran off towards his group. She then cocked her head towards the rest of the chunin.

" As for you three! Starting now you are under my command! You are my bitches! If I ask you to sit on a fence pole, you ask how deep! You're not in your cozy desk chairs anymore! I am going to train your ass to the ground until the chunin exams, and my genin, MY REAL GENIN, are going to train yours, because any one of them could kick all your asses at the same time! Hiroshi! Nanami! Kurenai!"

All three were there in an instant

"Hai Kaa-sensei!"

" Pick a team and start them on tree climbing! You are in command so keep them motivated!"

The three's eyes went wide before snapping a mock salute and taking off towards the groups.

"B-but they're just genin!", the academy teacher cried out. Rin was staring at her heatedly.

" And what does that say about you?", Rin retorted. The woman couldn't even look at Rin after thinking about it.

Rin's face turned into a twisted smile as she clapped her hands together, " Now, my little bitches, we are going to start off with some laps".

The teacher's face turned white, " W-what"

"NOW! *SMACK*", Rin smacked her on the ass hard which ellicited a shriek from the woman and compliance and instant later, the other two following suit at the same instant. Rin barked at them as she ran behind them.

The two other Jounin gawked at what she had just done...until Rin stopped running, and turned her very menacing face towards them.

" And what are you two doing?", she asked menacingly calm.

Even Miyuki felt like wetting her pants.

" Uh, teaching, Yes, we're going to teach our students things!", Miyuki answered smartly and ran away, the other Jounin feeling like he should do the same.

With that, Rin started back at running behind her bitches.

***Stop scrolling, it's over***

" You know, you should be a teacher", Asuma commented to Rin as they walked.

" Pfft. I already am one. Honestly, first three genin, then three chunin. What next, three tokubetsu jounin?", she groaned as she stared at the chunin dragging their feet in front of her, who she had yet to learn the names of and just named Bitch numbers one two and three. Three being her favorite academy teacher.

" I doubt a tokubetsu jounin would let you get away with smacking her ass to motivate her", Asuma joked.

" Meh, whatever keeps her "motivated", Rin shrugged.

" I'm starting to think you like it", Asuma accused.

"..."

Asuma turned to Rin, whose face was turning into a smirk.

" Kinky"

" Don't even think about it"

" But I am"

" Watch it or I'll start calling you Bitch number four"

" Watch it or I'll start calling you Kaa-chan"

" Pah! And you call me kinky!"

" So that makes us both kinky"

" And what does that leave us with"

"...thoughts of a mother who is a bisexual dominatrix?"

Everything stopped.

As Rin treats massive blood loss and tries to smooth over mental trauma throughout the ranks...

In the last couple days, Rin and her genin had done a number with their respective groups.

...It wasn't hard. Hell, when Hiroshi showed his group how to do tree climbing, they looked at him like he was a superhero.

Then he showed them water walking, and they thought he was some self sacrificing holy martyr descended from the heavens to pay for all their sins.

He had to politely refuse when the female member begged to have his baby.

All of Team 6 had to show their charges how to do both exercises, even Rin, which was pitiful. She had to wonder how the hell they had survived for as long as they did. She knew they have done missions. They looked like it when she first saw them. So...ooooh. Desk ninja. Of course they would have skills in something useful. That being how to get the drop on the good missions, leaving the combat oriented team leaders with whatever was left.

So she drilled them harder.

By the end of the trip, she could safely say she still wouldn't take them on anything bigger than a D-rank, but at least they weren't as pathetic as before.

I mean, how bad is it when your charges can do things you can't.?

Unfortunately, they crossed into the desert and it became too hot and treacherous to be training someone to exhaustion. So she made them practice handsigns for hours on end.

The trip through the desert was monotonous and boring. What made it at least bearable for Rin while her victims "twiddled" their hands was watchin Asuma try to shake his new purple shadow. She had intentionally tripped a while ago, and after Asuma helped her up, she wouldn't let go. Despite her childish crush, the girl was, surprisingly, a quick study. This could be because it was her crush teaching her, but Rin had a hunch it wasn't the case. The girl could already cut a quarter of the way through the leaf exercise that Asuma had taught her and was skillfully learning how to fight with the trench knife Asuma had given her. The fact that she graduated at the age of nine showed talent.

Rin had some serious suggestion for the Hokage when these exams were done.

And when she meant suggestions, she meant ass chewing if it came down to it.

One was that Miyuki be taken off the active duty roster until she was mentally sound. Considering how long that might take, it might be the end of her career, but the alternatives weren't pretty.

Two was that Team 9 specifically be given a jounin sensei, a REAL jounin sensei. There was too much latent potential for that team to be thrown to the wolves like so many others had been. But then, they all needed proper instructors, even the ones with jounin. Miyuki might have been a good sensei when she was sane, but now all her energy was spent shielding her genin in paranoia, and the other didn't give a shit about his team. And the bitche..."chunin", had nothing to instruct.

What a clusterfuck.

So it was with a sigh of relief, that the plateu walls of Suna came into view from atop the dune they were crossing.

" Listen up! Once we're in Suna, we will be representing Konoha's...finest. Therefore, I expect you be on your BEST behavior, because if you act poorly in Suna, it reflects badly on Konoha, which could jeopardize our alliance, or even start a war. No, I am not exagerating. That aside, use what you have learned in your time as a student, and you will have a better chance of getting out of the exams alive".

Funnily, the teams under her bitches glared heatedly at their "leaders", who seemed to whither under the pressure.

" Now that that's out of the way, let's get the hell out of this giant sand trap, I think my feet are one big friction burn", she stated crassly, though every one of them could relate.

Sure, you could use chakra to walk on top of the majority of it, but it still didn't help the fact that sand could and did get ANYWHERE.

Gust of wind

Sand

Pick up your feet the wrong way

Sand

Pitch a tent

Sand

Try to get rid of the sand

More sand

It all came down to adaptation. Suna nins were used to the heat, so they sweat less, which meant less sand clung to them. They knew how to wear clothes that kept sand out. How to keep it out of their food ( Rin had to crack Hiroshi over the head for his jibe at her sandwhiches), and generally keeping the shit from ruining their day.

Konoha nins...not so much. Though, they got some twisted retribution at seeing visiting Suna "virgin" nin TRY to weave their ways through tree branches. Kinda hard to do at shinobi speeds while watching for your next leap point, keeping your chakra control at the right level, keeping an eye out for enemies or traps, and trying to coordinate with team members leaps if you were in a group.

Yes, many a visiting Suna nin's first view of the village is waking up in the fine accomodations of Konoha Hospital, and leaving with some broken appendage and a concussion from the resulting meeting with the ground. Honestly, did they think every tree in Hi no Kuni had a perfectly horizontal branch with no obstacles? That was just silly. After all, trees have a tendency to want to grow UP, not out.

They were more tourists than shinobi if you asked Rin.

The Suna chunin watched as a large group of Konoha ninja left the last dune of the desert and walked towards the gates. Guaging by how many genin there were, it was obviously the teams participating in the chunin exams. As they grew closer, he looked for familiar faces. He quickly spotted Sarutobi Asuma, the youngest son of the Sandaime Hokage. He seemed to be leading a genin team, but if he remembered correctly, he was only a chunin.

He put those thoughts aside and scanned the rest of the crowd. Seeing a bunch of uninteresting faces, until he saw a reknowned jounin with a baby shaded in a basket. He gawked at her before pulling out a bingo book. This one was different from regular bingo books in that it was a result of the Konoha/Suna alliance to identify allied shinobi, with general information and rumors to go with it. Anybody above the regular chunin were in there, especially if they made it past C-rank skill. This woman was easily in the top twenty five. Inuzuka Rin was not as well known as her former teammate, but she was known. One of the late Yondaime Hokage's students, well versed in medical jutsu, Jounin rank and rumored to have been in Anbu. She had just appeared out of thin air a few months ago with a newborn, and had attracted Kumo's interest to the point of giving her the moniker "Mother Goose".

Seeing her now with the baby and her genin team, another thing that had appeared out of thin air, she really did fit the name. He grew tense as she grew closer. There was no telling her personality, so anything could be taboo. He was not ready for what was to come

"Halt! State your busi-"

"Whoa! A real Suna nin!...How the hell do you live out here?!", she whined.

The guards jaw dropped while she ranted on about what she had sand in...

" And this sun is giving me a farmer's tan! Now I'm going to have to tan the rest of it"

He was down. And so was Asuma.

It was 5 minutes later that they came to.

" Anyways, we're the Konoha teams participating in the chunin exams", she stated to the chunin stuffing tissue up his nose.

" Ugh, dravlgh mpampers?".

Rin's eyes widened before she started patting herself down.

" Where the hell did I put those things?", she complained to herself in frustration as she took off her jacket and shook it upside down. But she wasn't wearing the mesh due to the heat, and only the tubetop.

But it was just a tubetop.

And Rin was shaking her coat up and down.

PHYSICS

*THUD* There went the chunin again...and Asuma...and Hiroshi...and every male in their vicinity...and even some females.

" Ah! Here they are!", she shouted out as she pulled them out of her cargo pocket of her shorts.

10 minutes later.

The chunin was rushed to the hospital for blood transfusion as a female chunin took his place.

" A liason will be inside waiting for you. Welcome to Sunagakure...and please try to keep your shirt on", the chunin jabbed through a faux smile.

Rin put her hands on her hips as she huffed.

" Well if you excited them, I wouldn't need to"

The chunin's eye twitched as the group meandered past the entrance.

She was wearing what most Suna kunoichi wore.

Once they were gone, she shot a look up at the steps of the plateu face.

" Am I pretty?¡ TELL ME I'M PRETTY!¡"

The steps just sweatdropped in various places.

*An Hour later*

After going through the usual bureaucratic bullshit with the liason, the teams were finally shown to the hotel that they would be staying for the next month in. The innkeeper was a little overly eager that he was getting this much business. From the state of the inn, it looked like Suna didn't get much business. Considering the location and the lack of export, she could easily imagine why.

Many of the other hidden villages wondered, jealously, why Konoha's economy was so stalwart and large. The reason was very simple. Along with Konoha's greater military force (previously and hopefully again), it wasn't as hidden as the other villages were.

Take waterfall for instance. It was very, very , very well hidden. In fact, it was so well hidden that if you asked a merchant where it was, he would probably laugh at you, then kick you in the leg for being a smart ass.

Waterfalll was so remote and hidden that their economy was almost nil. Suna was the same way. They had built their village in the middle of the desert for protection. Merchants couldn't get their carts past the dunes of sand and there were very few paths that were rocky desert, so few merchants bothered trying to get to the village, more relying on trading their goods to merchants on the bordertowns that did go into Suna.

Konoha, on the other hand, had major roads leading to it through forested countryside. The only other village that had more economic potential was Kiri due to Mizu's bustling shipping industry and trade routes with the foreign continents. The only reason this potential wasn't truly realized was the isolationist view of the land and the totalitarian rule of the Yondaime Mizukage, which put a stanglehold on the country.

But other than that, it was all location. Of course, easy access also meant easier invasion, so you had to have the military force to back it up. A very vicious cycle.

The previous thoughts were also seen when they went to a local equipment store to buy new tents. As soon as the group entered-

" Welcome!", the storekeeper shouted in excitement...and watched as the customers dove for cover.

Realizing he had startled the foreign shinobi, he bowed.

"Gomen-nasai. Welcome to Yoshi's Last Stand weapon and equipment emporium. The best shinobi equipment supplier in Suna", the salesman pitched to the shinobi, who were peaking out of their cover.

Seeing the coast was clear, they finally relaxed.

" Uh, yeah. we're here to buy some tents", Rin responded.

" Preferably one's that weren't made in Rock country", Asuma added dryly, causing Rin's eye to twitch.

Yoshi raised and eyebrow, "You're Leaf nin, so why did you buy something from Rock country? Heck, the war was only a few years ago".

Rin looked away, apparently finding interest on a wall as the rest of the group looked at her. Asuma felt it would be wise for a time fo amnesty.

" You didn't get anything else for a "bargain", did you guys?".

The three peered harder at Rin, who was scratching her cheek nervously.

" Umm...kunai", she stated quietly.

The genin looked confused before they came to a realization. Nanami pulled out one of her newer kunai. The salesman took it and weighed it in his hand. A look of confusion appeared on his face before he held it by the ring and dropped it straight down towards the floor. As soon as it left his fingers, it did a 180 and hit the floor, ring first.

Rin laughed hysterically.

"Hahahah, that's...that's not so bad..", she stated unconvincingly. The rest of them stared holes into her until she finally caved.

" Alright! It was totally horrible! They wre a dozen for 299 ryou. So sue me!", she proclaimed haughtily.

" You're arming shinobi Rin, not school supply shopping", Asuma grumbled.

The shopkeeper grabbed at the opportunity.

" Well, there's no way you can take the chunin exams with faulty equipment. It might cost you your chances before even getting through the second stage. But, you're just in luck. I just happen to have recieved a smuggled supply of kunai from Rock country", he stated while grabbing a crate of kunai.

Rin's eyes narrowed," How are they different from the ones we have already?", she asked skeptically.

The salesman smirked, " Because I said smuggled, and unlike those...things...which were probably made in some small town in Rock country, these were made in Iwagakure-", he finished by turning the open crate upside down. 24 kunai fell out at different angles, yet all of them embedded into the floor, tip first.

" Aren't they supposed to be evenly balanced?", Kurenai asked, pointing at the kunai.

" If you were throwing them like a boot knife, then yes. But ninja tend to throw them straight, like an arrow. So you want the weight at the front, like a lawn dart, with the back of the weapon acting as a tail, being the lightest part. These have perfect weight distribution, graduating from heaviest to lightest, tip to tail, something few blacksmiths outside of Iwa are able to do. Also-", he paused to pluck one from the floor and present it, "-they are water folded. Not as well as a katana mind you, but they will seldom loose an edge. These are weapons that will serve you a lifetime should you not lose them".

The genin were drooling

" How much do they cost?", Rin asked, dreading the answer.

"You're in luck, I have three dozen left. I'll sell them to you for 7,000 ryou ( roughly 700 bucks)", he stated, making Rin weak in the knees.

Before she could voice her thoughts, the genin started pulling out their wallets.

" That's only 1,750 for 9 a piece. That's definitely worth the price, right Kaa-sensei?", Hiroshi asked while pulling out he money needed to buy his quarter of the kunai.

It seemed they had been saving up their paychecks. But then, when they didn't have to pay for housing or food, you can do it pretty easily. Seeing as how the three of them had already commited, she didn't want to look like a skin flint. She went for her wallet but they stopped her.

" Don't worry, well pay for your set", Nanami replied.

Rin looked surprised, " Uh, really?", she asked incredulously.

Hiroshi nodded," Yeah. After all, you're buying the tents", he stated with a grin.

Rin's shoulders slumped, " Oh. Right. Those. ".

The salesman walked up after selling the kunai, " Not to worry Miss. Suna makes some of the most weather and nature resistant shelters in the shinobi nations...for a price, of course", he stated, causing Rin's shoulders to slump even more.

" Well, we'll need four-"

" Two", Asuma cut her off. She turned to him with confusion on her face.

" Huh?"

" Two double tents. It'll be cheaper than four individual ones. Hiroshi and Nanami are obviously a couple, minus the wedding bands, and then us" he ended with a smirk. Hiroshi and Nanami were too busy fondling their new toys to listen, leaving Rin the only one with a blush.

Rin perked up as she remembered something.

" Three tents. Two double, and a single for your little purple haired tick".

" She is not a tick", Asuma argued indignantly. Rin just pointed to his leg. He quirked and eyebrow and looked down, only to see Yugao wrapped around it.

" What the...when?¡", he cried out hysterically.

Kurenai shrugged, " She latched on when you and Kaa-sensei were having that argument about giving the hotel maid a tip for more complimentary toiletries", she stated nonchalantly. Asuma choked.

" She's been on my leg for fifteen minutes and none of you saw it fit to tell me?¡", he shouted at the genin. Hiroshi answered this time.

" I think the real question is how she's been on your leg for fifteen minutes and you never noticed Asuma-sensei", he retorted with a smug grin. Asuma flinched at that. How the hell didn't he know? ' She must be stealthier than a cat' he thought.

" Come on Yugao-chan, this is too much. Get off"

" Yadda!", she refused.

" Come on kid, get off!", Hiroshi exclaimed while he started trying to pull her off.

" Yadda!Yadda!Yadda!", she cried out, holding on with an iron grip. Kurenai decided to help for the fun of it, causing Asuma to hop around on one foot.

" It's not working so stop pulling before I crack my head open!"

" **Yadda!Yadda!Yadda!**", all three exclaimed as they kept pulling on the runt, causing Asuma to yell at them as he flailed his arms to keep balance.

Nanami finally had enough amusement and walked up, then dug her fingers into Yugao's sides and tickled her mercilessly. It did the trick as Yugao let go, laughing like a hyena...causing Asuma to fly one way and the three genin to fly another way into a heap on the floor.

All while this was happening, Rin was with the salesman, buying the tents. The salesman looked at the group making a ruckus.

" I'm confused, is this your team or your family?".

Rin looked back at them to see Nanami with a Yugao, sporting an angry pout, tucked under her arm, and Asuma with Hiroshi and Kurenai in headlocks, trying to break free. She turned back to the salesman.

" Both...without a doubt in my mind", she sighed as she exchanged the money for the tents. With that, she grabbed them up and headed out, her horde following albeit in a less than orderly fashion.

* Three days later*

Rin and Team 6 stood in front of the exams building. Rin turned to her team, hands on her hips out of habit...even though Naruto wasn't with her.

" Alright guys. Asuma and I have trained you to the best of our abilities in the time we had, which makes you the best in your league. The Hokage has shared this view as well, going as far as to put the reputation of Konoha itself in your hands. A failure would put the strength of our forces into question, leading our enemies to risk war and possibly wipe us off the face of the earth...", she stated, looking at the three blanching, gawking, nervous wrecks in front of her.

"...but I don't expect that to happen. You've taken missions genin would normally never get. C-ranks, B-ranks, even that A-rank. You've fought against opponents far above your pay grade, escaped dangers that would kill lesser ninja...like the weasles *shudder*..., and your skills and experience already label you as a chunin. So don't you feel unnerved, don't feel scared, just get in there and kick some foreign ninja ass and before you know it, you'll have a chunin vest thrown at you. So give it the old Rin Brigade wreckless abandon!", she cried out, raising her fist in the air. The genin mock saluted.

" Can do Kaa-sensei!", they shouted and charged the building, forms in hand.

Asuma was busy talking to his own temporary team.

" I'm not going to lie to you, these exams are going to be tough on you guys. It's tough for any genin team, but because of your previous "leader's" neglect, it's going to be even harder for you. In the last week, we have fixed some of what he has done, but these trials are fierce, and could cost you your lives, but if you have the will to overcome that bastard's wrongdoings, rely on eachother, and remember the training I have managed to give you, you might make it through to the finals, where I can train you more than I have been able to. But one thing has been proven through the years...cheating", he stated before pointing at Kouta.

" Kouta! Cut you hair to a boy's length".

Kouta looked horrified. Like most Hyugas, he had long silky black hair that most women would kill for. And his sensei wanted him to cut it?¡ Asuma sensed his shock.

" Do you want to be a chunin?", he asked as he peered at him. Kouta churned his words through in thought. Finally, he pulled off his headband and turned away from Asuma.

" Just make it quick", he stated as his teammates watched a single tear roll down his cheek. Asuma quickly produced a kunai and sliced his hair off. With a quick ruffling of his hair, what was once shiny, silky, and long, was now unkempt, shaggy, but most of all, hung over his pupiless eyes. If Asuma wasn't a man, and a manly man at that, he would have to say the kid looked cuter than before.

" Use it to your advantage. The rest of you use your skills to your advantage as well. I'll see you on the other side", he said, giving them a thumbs up. With that, team 9 made their way into the building. Asuma made his way over to Rin as he watched the other Konoha teams and other village teams getting words of encouragement, apology, and in some cases, threat from their senseis. In the case of team 7, it was the genin reassuring a very apprehensive and disshelved Miyuki, even when she was unknowingly on her happy medicine.

Rin turned to Asuma

" You think they'll make it?"

Asuma quirked an eyebrow

" Yours? Without a doubt in my mind. Mine, I'm not to sure about. Even if they don't, it will be good practice for them...well..if they don't get killed, god forbid.", he replied. He then realized something. Something awesome.

" The hotel room is empty", he stated as he stared at Rin, who stared right back. A moment later, they both bolted for the hotel room as the rest of the team leaders made for the lounge.

*Inside the exams building*

Since teams 9 and 6 were basically under the same two senseis, they decided to stick together. This proved to be a blessing after they handed in their forms and entered the room. Every team turned and glared at them, leaking what little KI they could produce. For team 6, who had faced down the KI of a bijuu, it was a mere annoyance. For two of three members of Team 9, who were freshly graduated not even a month ago, it was enough to make them sweat. Seeing the two girls discomfort, Hiroshi decided to take the rooms ire off of them.

Snapping his head up to the ceiling and pointing with a shocked face-

"LOOK!"

Everybody looked...there was nothing there...they looked back at Hiroshi.

" A ceiling!", he proclaimed proudly.

Everybody facefaulted causing a huge ruckus.

Teams 6 and 9 settled in as the grumbling at Hiroshi continued, Nanami shielding her face due to Hiroshi's stupid scene. The words retarded and helmet came up multiple times.

Regardless, team 6 started scanning the other teams, They could see the expected Suna headbands that made up almost half of the teams. They could also see Taki, Kusa, Kumo, Ame...and _Iwa_!

Their faces hardened when they met the glares of the Iwa teams.

Considering their ages, one would think Nanami and Hiroshi wouldn't have had anything to do with the Third Shinobi war, as they were still in the Academy at the time. But with genin in the rear lines of the war, Academy students were used in the homefront. To help out the hospital, to help out widows or disabled veterans, and one they absolutely despised, to console and help new orphans at the orphanage, ones because of the war with Iwa. Even when they were in the Academy, it was a sickeningly common thing to see one of their classmates pulled from the room during class and hear screaming or crying a while later, confirming everyone's fears.

Many of the kids with shinobi parents would tense up every time the door opened during the middle of class.

For Kurenai, it was more personal, she was unlucky enough to see the tail end of the war. Albeit as border guard, just like Asuma. Her first kill was an Iwa shinobi when they tried to pincer off the main fighting force.

As the teams glared at eachother, they didn't realize they were emiting more KI than the whole class had been earlier. The tense atmosphere was broken as a mountain of a Suna nin, sporting a blad head and classic mustache (think a turkish body builder) poofed into the room.

" Oi! Pipsqueaks! The war is over! Now break it up or I'll kick your asses out of this room the easy way", he all but bellowed while cracking his knuckles. Both teams got the hint as they shuffled away from eachother while still staring at the hulk of a jounin.

Satisfied, he stuck his fingers in his mouth a whistled loudly. 8 chunin appeared out of nowhere.

" Welcome to the Suna chunin exams. I am Tora, the proctor of the first exam. Remember this well you little fairies! You are here because we allow it, and you will follow the rules given to you because we demand it. Fail to comply, and I will chase you out of Suna myself. Before I get to them, every team pick a table and SIT THE FUCK DOWN!", Every team did just that, very hastily, not wanting to incur the man's wrath. Once everyone was situated, he tarted back up again.

" The first part will be a written exam", with that the chunin behind him started handing out tests to every table. " You will have one hour to complete the test. During this time, there will be no talking amongst yourselves. There will be no arguing, fighting, or killing of any kind. If anyone is caught cheating during this test, you automatically fail. This test starts...NOW!".

And with that, every team dove into their test booklets. As soon as Hiroshi saw the questions, a grin came to his face, which Nanami and Kurenai saw, elliciting a sigh of relief from them. Most of the questions were geared towards desert warfare, tactics, and survival, somthing the girls handn't been trained in by Rin. But Asuma had with Hiroshi, seeing as how he was the team's strategist.

He quickly grabbed up the pencil and started on the questions.

Team 9 wasn't as well off as team 6 was. None of them had been trained in this shit, so when Kouta saw the questions, he silently thanked Asuma for what he had done. With his eyes shaded, he channeled small amounts of chakra to his eyes. Very, very, very, very, very few people know that there are smaller levels to the Byakugan than just full activation. The reason why few people knew this was because of the implications of these smaller levels. After all, if it was found out that the Byakugan could see bones, muscle, nerves, the bloodstream, or...skin...well, everyone would assume the Hyugas were all perverts, even though the view would look like a film negative The advantages though were many. 360° vision with a more limited range was given, very little chakra, no handseals or verbal announcement, and the girl from Ame had nipple piercings...heh...but back on the task at hand!

So with the risk of failure, team 9 cheated craftily through the first exam.

As the test went on, more than a few teams had been caught cheating and had been kicked out. Two of the Konoha teams failed in this manner, and one of the teams decided to bitch.

A kunai flew across the room, grazing Kurenai's hair and embedding into the table behind her, " Konoha Team 5! You were caught cheating! Take your teammates and get out!",

One of the genin at the got up, " What?¡ That's bullshit! We weren't cheating!", before he could say another sylable, the huk of a jounin was standing in front of him, glaring death at the genin.

" Are you calling me a liar? the jounin known as Tora growled dangerously. Whatever balls the genin had shriveled up and died right there.

" I am calling you a sharp eyed jounin, and that we were caught fair and square, and we will be leaving now", with that the genin bolted out the door, his teammates right behind him.

" Peh! Figures thos tree hugging leaf nin wouldn't have any-"

"I believe you dropped this", he heard from behind him. He turned around to see Kurenai glaring fire at him, minus a lock of hair. She was holding the kunai out for him...but it was glowing red and the bandages around the handle were just smoldering char.

" Umm, keep it", he replied with a sweatdrop. She narrowed her eyes at him before she turned around and dropped it on top of the desk, which promptly burst into flames where the kunai layed. Hiroshi quickly got his canteen and doused it.

Meanwhile, the chunin observers were making mental notes not to go against her in the second exams.

Before they knew it, the hour was up.

" Time's Up! Put your papers face down and wait for them to be graded"

The chunin walked to each table and picked up the test, then went to the front of the room and sat to grade the papers. As each paper was graded, a result would be proclaimed.

" Iwa Team 3, 70%, Pass", the Iwa genin team 6 had been glaring at let a sigh of relief.

" Suna Team 10...40%...fail!", Tora exclaimed harshly at the shamed team. Being from Suna, and failing a test basically made for knowledge of the desert was pathetic. They left with no pride left in them.

" Konoha Team 9, 82%, Pass", Kouta slumped in his chair. His caution had paid off. Originally, he was going to copy off of team 6's paper, but after seeing Hiroshi's paper, he knew enough to copy enough to pass and fudge the rest. It would have been obvious if he had copied the whole thing.

After all, there was no way two teams could get that high of a score.

"Konoha Team 6...100%...uh, Pass", the chunin fumbled dumfoundedly while gawking at where team 6 was sitting. No one had gotten 100% on the test in almost two decades, and certainly not a Konoha team. Hiroshi was too busy giving the peace sign...consisting of his middle finger, to the Iwa team, to notice the chunins' stares, but Nanami did, and it made her fidget in her chair.

Tora shook his head. That team was more and more trouble. He cleared his throat signalling for the chunin to continue. As they went through the tests, the rest of the teams were either passed or failed. All in all, 18 teams were left after the results were finished. Tora spoke once again.

" Congratulations on passing the first exam. It proves that you came prepared...or that you were good enough to cheat and not get caught", he stated with a glare around the room.

" The purpose of this test was to see how much you had prepared to enter a foreign country. Say you were part of a mission to Yuki no Kuni. Obviously, you wouldn't use the same combat and survival tactics as you would if you were going to Mizu no Kuni. Cheating wasn't allowed since it would serve no purpose in this test. This test also served to weed out the teams who wouldn't have had a chance of surviving the next exam", he stated right before a mousy looking woman in thick glasses and a Suna vest came into the room.

" Umm, I'm not early am I?", she asked almost inaudibly. Tora shook his head.

" No, you're just in time, I'm just wrapping up. They're all yours", he stated while stepping aside. She took center stage and put on a stern face...which just mader her look like a pouting child.

" I am the Jounin-"

" **We can't hear you!**", the class of genin shouted almost in unison.

She got a tick mark on her forehead and reached behind her and pulled out a megaphone.

":*SQUELCH* I AM THE JOUNIN FOR THE SECOND EXAM. AYANAMI USAGI", she blared across the squelch the megaphone gave off, causing the genin, and even Tora, to cover their ears, " NOW. IF YOU WOULD FOLLOW ME, WE WILL GO TO THE NEXT EXAM GROUNDS", she blared again as she marched out the door, the teams quickly following so she didn't use her megaphone again in closed quarters.

* In the waiting lounge for the Jounin senseis*

Rin and Asuma walked in 15 minutes before the end of the first exam, looking a little more disshelved than they did at the start of it. They looked around the room to see most of the other jounin senseis grouped up by village and talking amongst eachother. Rin stopped when she saw Iwa forehead protectors.

' Iwa. The war was only a couple of years ago. You'd think they wouldn't bother to send any teams, especially to the country that instigated the war' she thought to herself. If they saw Naruto, they might put two and two together...whether that be that she was taking care of her late sensei's son or had an illicit affair with her sensei and Naruto was the result, was up in the air...both were plausible she guessed...*shiver*.Luckily, Asuma had convinced her to put Naruto in a day care while they were waiting for their teams. Iwa or not, ally or not, it would have been absolutely stupid to bring Naruto into this room with so many jounin from other villages. Asuma assured her that the day care was the safest in Suna.

* Suna Daycare*

The Young Breeze day care was only a day care in the sense that they cared for kids. In reality, it was a temporary stronghold for VIP children during the time of the exams. This was only examplified by the two Suna Anbu keeping watch over them and that the children were being tended to by chunin kunoichi. It kept the children of elite ninjas, political figures, and even the Kazekage out of the eyes of foreign ninja that might find the possibility of kidnapping them too irresistable. Most of the children were from Suna, but since the " day care" was funded from the money given to them from Konoha, it was only fair that they be able to use the service as well, as little chance there was that someone would bring their child from Konoha. Imagine their surprise when someone not only brought a child, but a baby to boot.

A small blond three year old sedately played with some blocks on the ground. She hasn't been excited or even smiled since her youngest brother was born, taking the life of her mother in the same day. Her father was a cold man who cared more about the strength of his village than the wellbeing of his family. Add to that, the fact few other kids approached her, seeing as she was the Kazekage's daughter, and you have a lonely and depressed Temari.

Hell, the staff even treated her like a crystal vase...speaking of mentioned people, where were they? Temari stopped to look around the room. She finally spotted them, huddled around something, cooing and gabbing amongst themselves. Temari clumsily picked herself off the floor and went over to them.

" Aww, he's sooo cuuute! Those whisker marks make him look like a little fox!", one kunoichi cooed.

" I wonder if he's related to that dog clan in Konoha?", another asked.

" The Inuzuka", a mousey one with the appearance of a nerd supplied.

" Well, the Kunoichi that brought him was named Inuzuka Rin", the tallest one added.

" Whadare you aul lookin at?", the three year old Temari asked with curiosity.

The chunin closest to her turned and answered, " A really cute baby from Konoha Temari-sama. Would you like to see?", the kunoichi asked politely.

Gaining a nod from the girl, she picked her up and held her towards the crib. Temari blinked as the baby came into view. His blue eyes sparkled as he stared back at Temari. His nose scrunched up before his whisker marked cheeks turned up as he started laughing and clapping at the funny girl.

" Kawaii...", the young girl said quietly amongst the coos and baby talk of the kunoichi as he continued laughing and wriggling around. She stared for a while longer before looking up at the kunoichi still looking at the baby.

" Can I hold him?"

*With Rin*

With the assurance that Naruto was out of sight for now, she made her way into the room towards the area where the Konoha team leaders had bunched up. Most of them were chunin...roughly, so being in a room full of jonin, regular and elite, would definitely put them on edge. As Rin made her way through the room, she felt the eyes of the other jounin focus on her. the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife.

If they didn't stop, she might have to do something drastic.

Luckily, something took most of the attention off of her.

" Well, well, well. It seems the "Mother Goose" has let her gaggle out to play"

The voice caused Rin's eye to twitch, as irritating to her as nails on a chalkboard. Rin turned to give a venemous glare to the silver haired, grey eyed Iwa jounin sitting beside the few other Iwa team leaders.

" Yuna...what an...unexpected surprise. How are the knees treating you?", Rin asked through a fake smile that looked more like a snarl and a smirk fucked and it was the result, especially with her eyes glaring at the woman.

" Hmph. They're perfectly fine, no thanks to you Dr. Frankenfurter", the woman shot accusingly. The last time Rin saw the kunoichi during the war, she landed dual blows on her knees with her chakra scalpels, severing the ligaments and sending her down into the lake she was on like a ton of bricks. She would have drowned if her team hadn't shown up...Rin would have made sure of it, but her priorities changed to getting her shredded ass out of there as quick as possible. She wasn't seen by any forces for the rest of the war.

Considering her deadly proficiency in her Steel Release, they were lucky, also taking into account her tendency to be as cold and mercilous as the steel she killed people with.

" That's...good...to hear. So they have you training Iwa's future dark and dingy now, do they?", she bit back, causing the woman's frown to deepen.

" You might think you're hot shit for getting a genin team at your age, but I've been training mine for the past two years", Yuna growled.

Rin gave an evil smirk, " Oh, then they must be about even then", she said beore turning her back on the jounin and walking over to where Asuma had saved her a seat. Yuna shivered with rage, ready to lunge at Rin, but she held that idea back. She was in a village full of shinobi who would love to kill the " Steel Mistress" that had killed Suna and Konoha nin alike in the last war.

" Hmph! We'll see _Mother Goose_", she harumphed with venom at the end, more to herself than Rin.

10 minutes after she sat down, Tora entered the lounge to announce, to the different groups, the passing and failing teams. He first met with the Suna group. Rin observed as a couple of the team leaders got up with angry scowls and left to go retrieve their failed teams, obviously ready to give them an ass chewing about it. He kept going around the room and reporting, many more jounin senseis getting up to collect their teams.

"-passed at 90%", Rin heard the proctor announce to Yuna, the steel wielding jounin smirking and looking at Rin with smugness. Rin ruffled a bit before quickly shaking it off. Soon enough, Tora was in front of the Konoha group.

" Teams 8 and 3 failed. Pick up your teams and depart", he stated. The crypto-chunin and the negligent Jounin got up, one with a look of guilt and another with a look of...well, nothing. The other chunin were surprised as hell, but Rin shot them a look that made them remember they didn't contribute to "their" teams' sucsesses.

" Team 2 passed at 66%, Team 4 at 70%, Team 7 at 80%, Team 5 at 68%, Team 9 at 82%...and Team 6...", he paused as he stared at Rin, who looked up at the proctor.

" What the hell have you been teaching those kids?", he asked crassly, causing Rin to sweatdrop.

" Plenty of stuff", she replied aloofly.

" Obviously...100%", he stated, much to the surprise and dismay of the other jounin in the room.

Rin smirked, " I have my second in command to thank for that", she replied humbly while looking at Asuma.

" So where does your training come in?" the hulking proctor asked with a bit of dread.

" In combat", she answered simply. The proctor could only imagine.

" Anyways, if you would all follow me, I will lead you to the finish line of the second exam".

*Kazekage Tower...Ball...thing*

Rin wasn't the only one hearing about the stellar performance of Team 6. The Kazekage had also been relayed the results of the first exam. He glared at the paper on his desk. It was bad enough that Suna couldn't solely fund the chunin exams. It was bad enough they had to accept Konoha's offer, but apparently that wasn't enough humility.

No, they had apparently sent a trump car team to further humiliate them. Well, he would turn the tables then.

" Baki", he called. Instantly, a man with a curtain covering half his face appeared before him.

" Yes Kazekage-sama", the man answered. The Kazekage pushed the paer in front of the man.

" I want you to make sure Team 6 from Konoha fails the next part of the exam. They will be travelling west towards Chitsu for the second half of the exam".

Baki had just read the last of the report and understood why he was needed for this.

He bowed," Hai, Kazekage-sama", and then disappeared.

* With the chunin hopefulls*

Usagi had actually lead them outside the gates of Suna, to what looked like a starting line. Tents were set up along side the line as well.

" WELCOME TO THE SECOND PART OF THE CHUNIN EXAMS. THE RULES ARE SIMPLE. YOU WILL BE GIVEN AN ITEM. YOUR GOAL IS TO GET THAT ITEM FROM POINT A TO PONT B", Usagi blared over her megaphone.

" Sounds easy enough", Kurenai commented.

" THE GOAL IS 60 MILES TO THE WEST", Usagi continued. Nanami and Hiroshi glared at Kurenai as she chuckled nervously.

" EACH OF YOU WILL BE GIVEN A MAP AND A CANTEEN OF WATER, NOTHING ELSE. YOU WILL HAVE UNTIL SUNSET TOMMOROW TO REACH THAT GOAL BEFORE YOU FAIL. THERE WILL ALSO BE "ENEMY NINJA" RUNNING INTERFERENCE ALONG THE WAY. SHOULD YOU LOSE YOUR ITEM TO THEM, YOU WILL FAIL AS WELL", she called out on the horn while the genin were signing waivers and receiving the items in question, which happened to be scrolls.

"ONCE YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR ITEMS, WAIT BY THE STARTING LINE. WE WILL BE SENDING TEAMS OUT IN TIMED INCREMENTS SO WE DON'T HAVE ONE GIANT CLUSTERFUCK TEN FEET AFTER THE STARTING LINE. 5 MINUTES UNTIL START!", she finished. Team 6 looked at the map. Their goal was a small, sandy town, 50 miles in the opposite direction they had come from to get to Suna, and Hiroshi figured that was intentional.

" They're sending us away from any established trade routes with the other countries". Kurenai looked at Hiroshi curiously.

" Why would they do that?"

" So none of the teams have an advantage if the goal was near a trade route that they've travelled over before to get here. It's also very sparsely populated with few landmarks, a perfect place to throw us into."

With their destination set, they got theirselves ready for their starting window.

" IWA, TEAM 3. APPROACH THE STARTING LINE!", Usagi's megaphone piped in. The team from earlier walked past them smuggly.

" I guess they know talent when they see it, seeing as they let us go before the drabble", the girl on the team stated condescendingly. Nanami narrowed her eyes before a cruel smirk came across her face.

" Or they firgured the team of "special people" needed a head start", she commented, causing the girl to stop in her tracks before whipping around and setting a death glare on Nanami.

"IWA, TEAM 3, GET YOUR ASSES UP HERE!", Usagi blared again, cutting the glare-off short.

" This isn't over", the girl warned venemously before catching up with her teammates. Nanami huffed.

" There woudn't have been a start if you learned to close that gaping cock hole in your face you stupid bitch", she grumbled out, causing her teammates..and everyone around her to chuckle nervously or agreeingly.

"HAJIME!", they heard seconds later and watched the Iwa team barrel out of the starting line, causing Hiroshi to snort mysteriously. This continued in three minute increments until only a few teams were waiting.

" KONOHA, TEAM 9, APPROACH THE STARTING LINE!"

Yugao and her team appproached the starting line. Usagi did a double take when she saw Yugao, " AREN'T YOU A LITTLE YOUNG TO EVEN BE A GENIN?", she asked incredulously.

Yugao pouted, " Aren't you a little OLD to be surprised by my age?", she retorted. Usagi's forehead gained a bulged vein.

" Don't go crying to mommy if you can't keep up with your teammates!", she sniped, thankfully forgetting to pull the trigger on the megaphone. Steam came off of the purple haired girl's head before she faced the starting line. Usagi put the megaphone to her face.

" HAJI-"

*FOOM* Yugao shot off like a rocket, a wake of sand behind her.

"...ME" Usage finished lamely.

" Gee, thanks for riling her up", Kouta shot at Usagi with sarcasm as he and his teammate made to catch up with the dust devil.

Usagi grumbled to herself some more before the three minute window was up.

" KONOHA, TEAM 6, APPROACH THE DAMN STARTING LINE!", she blared crassly. Team 6 took their place at the starting line, yet they weren't pointing straight out like the other teams. They were pointing 40° to the west.

" WHAT ARE YOU THREE DOING?", she asked exhasperatingly.

" Making a B-line for the goal", Hiroshi answered with a push-up of his glasses.

" You think I wouldn't point the starting line in the right direction", she asked, sounding put off as her hands went to her hips. Funny she could talk without the megaphone just fine now. Maybe she just liked annoying them.

Nanami answered for the team," You're a proctor, so, yes".

Usagi chuckled, " Always has to be a smart team. HAJIME!", she finished on her megaphone, and the genin shot off towards the real goal. Usagi looked at the remaining teams, who had all heard the conversation, 'Well, at least they didn't go as one of the first teams and blow all my fun' she thought before glancing at them again, and then gaining an evil smirk. She put her megaphone up to her lips.

" ALL REMAINING TEAMS, GO!GO!GO!GO!", she yelled. They all confusingly ran through the starting line, tripping over themselves and eachother, and turned into one giant clusterfuck ten feet out of the gates. Usagi cackled evilly before turning in the direction of Chitsu and showing the pile-o-teams why she was called the "Dessert Hare", as she took off in much the same way Yugao did.

*With Team 9 ( 15 minutes after start)*

Yugao was moving at a more leisurely pace...with swirls in her eyes...on the back of Kouta.

"Honestly, all this hassle over the comments of one proctor", the Hyuga complained as he carried her piggie-back.

"I think I'm going to be sick", she groaned out, making Kouta tense.

" Not on MY back you're not!"

*With a single Suna jounin out in the desert*

Baki kept hidden as another team passed his location. He had set up various traps in the area to incapacitate Team 6 once they passed. With the patience of a jounin, he waited for his targets to run past.

*With Team 6, nowhere near where the other teams were traversing*

Hiroshi eyed the target lines of the compass to the outcropping on the horizon.

" We're a little ways off course, but still heading in the general direction of the finish line", he stated as he started plotting on the map.

Nanami cast hand shaded eyes on the dunes behind them.

" I figured the other teams would have done the same thing"

" Maybe the proctor just let them go all at once. I thought I saw a sand trail going past us", Kurenai shrugged.

" Mana. I don't think the proctor counted on a team actually checking their maps before they were away from the finish line, which is why we haven't seen any "interference" yet.", Hiroshi added as he drew on the map. "If they all went straight out of the finish line, they wouldn't see a landmark to gain their bearings for fifteen miles, which means...", he trailed off as he calculated in his head before looking ahead and pointing , "..we'll start seeing interference past that rocky outcropping.

" Then lets stop there for the night. It's better concealment and I can use doton in case we're attacked", Nanami added, gaining nods from the other two.

" Alright, let's get going. We should make it there by sunset", Hiroshi stated as they started down the dune.

*Baki*

Okaaay. Something was fucking wrong. He hadn't seen any teams pass him for an hour, which was a gagglefuck of growling, irritated, mismatched teams, and team 6 wasn't among them. Fumbling with his map, the jounin started asking himself where the hell they could have went. "They must have went straight. Great, they're ahead of me", he grumbled as he came out of cover. He was a jounin, he knew how to be patient. He would not fail-

*FWOOMP*

"PFT. PFT. Who the fuck put this pitfall here?¡"

*20 miles outside of Suna*

Chunin Team 12 had spotted a team about a mile away and decided to intercept them. But when they finally made it to the location, all they found was a sole member of Konoha, Team 2, slumped to his knees and staring at what the chunin could see was quicksand. The chunin, seeing he wasn't in any condition to fight, relaxed their stances

"Oi. Kid. What the hell happened?", one of the chunin asked. The genin turned to him with a look of disbelief still frozen on his face.

" Th-they were fighting again. They rolled down the dune and...just disappeared...I didn't even have enough time to make it to the bottom of the dune...", he stopped and stared off into nowhere. The two chunin were quiet until one spoke up.

" Where's your scroll?", he asked. The genin didn't speak, opting to thumb back at the quicksand.

The chunin sighed, " Alright, you're done. Come on", he waved, which the genin followed wordlessly.

*With Team 9*

"-and now we have to trek ten miles THAT WAY because you didn't check the damn map!", shouted Yugao, pointing at an outcropping in the distance. Kouta's cheek twitched as he glared at her.

" I would have if I didn't have to carry some BRAT on my back because she had to snark some proctor!", he shouted back.

"Can we get going now?"

They tensed up and started looking for the owner of the voice. It wasn't too long before they noticed their teammate with a vein popping out of her head.

" Holy shit you scared me!", Kouta cursed.

" I don't think I've ever heard you talk before", Yugao stated in awe before continuing, " What's your name anyways?", she asked, causing the girl to facefault and Kouta to look sheepish. He didn't know her name either.

"You're kidding me. I've been with you guys for two months now an you don't even know my name is-"

"Chunin attack!", two Suna chunin shouted out as they lunged at the group. Team 9 spent the next 15 minutes fending them off, with the genin kunoichi never getting to tell her name. She blamed some unseen force.

*Then next morning*

Team 6 poked their heads out of the cramped little crevice they had found in the outcropping after they had learned someone was after them. When they saw him heading towards the weathered down plateau, it wasn't at chunin speed. And he was alone. Maybe they shouldn't have shown off in the first exam. Breathing a sigh when she didn't sense anyone, Kurenai pulled herself out.

" Looks cle-EAR!", she cried out as she tripped over a snoring body behind a rock. Nanami blinked owlishly as she stared at the waking forms of Team 9.

"What the hell are you guys doing out here? I figured we left you in the dust after we went straight and you guys didn't".

It was Kouta who spoke up, seeing as Yugao was somehow sleeping standing up.

" You did. It took us until way after sunset to get here thanks to some thrice-damned chunin that went for us. By the time we got here, we were dead tired", he finished while looking at Team 6, who looked like they got as much sleep as his team.

"Well. I don't know if it's a good thing to team up or not...there's someone looking specifically for us", Hiroshi explained while rubbing the back of his head.

Kouta's eyebrows rose but Yugao had other ideas, " Pft! Yeah right! We know we stand a better chance with you than without you and you just don't want to help out", Yugao pouted while crossing her arms.

" U-um", Hiroshi didn't know what to say to that.

" Well too bad. We're practically your teammates too so we're sticking to you like glue. Then we'll see just how strong your stalker is!", Yugao declared in bravado and stubornness...though she knew they wouldn't stand a chance if they had to go the last 30 miles alone. Hell, they hardly got past those last two!

" Umm...okay", Hiroshi sweatdropped as the girls chuckled nervously.

*20 miles from the finish line*

" That was a jonin! Why the hell is there a jonin following you?¡", Yugao cried out as she waved her arms, shredded sleeves and all.

" Probably because we pissed off the Kazekage by doing the best on the test", Nanami groaned out.

" Obviously you don't know the word, " deception", Kouta grumbled out as he squatted down from unloading his breakfast on the ground. They had run miles off course just to get away from him.

" I know it very well, but what kind of plan is "Look Weak", during an exam to see how strong we are?", Hiroshi shot back after unloading his breakfast as well.

Kouta could argue that point...and he would have if they hadn't heard something.

"rrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

" What the hell is that?", Nanami asked as she got up.

" aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA"

All their eyes went wide when it started getting closer.

And then it popped up and grew out of the sand right in the middle of them

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH!¡" was the war cry of Baki as he literally grew straight up out of the ground with a killer face.

" HOLY FUCKING SHIT!¡", Hiroshi screamed in horror before everybody took off from the nightmare scene.

Baki made to go after him, but had cut his jutsu short with his feet still buried in the sand and took a nose dive instead.

" FUCK!"

* 4 hours before the end of the exam*

Rin was worried sick. Many of the teams had already finished. At first she was just disappointed that her team didn't finish first. Now she feared that they might not show up at all. She looked back to the sole genin of Team 2, who's idiot teammates got swallowed up by quicksand.

While she had alot more faith in her team than to fall into some quicksand, the idea that they suffered the same end result came to mind. An overzealous chunin, an Iwa team with a grudge, hell, a rogue S-class missing nin that had wandered into the testing course..as silly as that sounded.

" Looks like your team was all brains and no braunse", she heard behind her, causing her to clench her teeth. Yuna's team had finished hours ago.

" There's still time left Steely Girl", Rin retorted roughly.

Yuna harumphed, " Not that it matters. The fact that my team made it here before yours or your boyfriend's is a testament to how weak Konoha has become. When that overgrown fox died, it must have taken your best and brightest with it", she spat. Rin was about to snap back, when she spotted a dust cloud in the distance.

Usagi, who had gotten there a day ago with her speed, peered at the dust cloud.

" Konoha Teams 6 and 9 incoming...sort of", she finished unsurely. Once the dust cloud got bigger, Rin could see why.

*Team 6*

They were running as fast as they could. They were ragged, injured, desperate, and scared as hell.

Who wouldn't be

The reason they were running was only 9 feet behind them and slowly closing.

"RAWR!", Baki let out a battle cry as a purple haired girl hung from his neck and flapped like a banner behind him. Her two teammates were hanging on his legs trying to weight him down and he didn't have time to kick them off. Teams 6 and 9 had no chance of attacking him head on. They learned that the first time they tried. They immediately switched to delay and diversion tactics. Veering off course, traps, feints, genjutsus, and blockades. It's like they had done this before, and they worked well if Baki's haggard appearance was anything to go by.

But a few hours ago, they had run out of tricks, run out of landscape, and most importantly, run out of chakra. The two teams decided to just bolt for the finish line. Baki soon caught up.

Instead of just leaving Team 6 to their fate, Team 9 tried tackling Baki, leading them to their current predicament.

" OH GOD, HE'S RIGHT BEHIND US!", screamed Nanami between pants.

" Keep running! We're almost to the finish line!", hollered a very haggard Hiroshi. Running was Nanami's shit, not his. Regardless, he pushed what was left of his energy into his legs.

" YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!", Baki roared as he lunged at Team 6, tackling them all. As they screeched to a halt, the scroll flew out of Kurenai's dress, somersaulted through the air, and landed right into Rin's hand. Usagi started to announce the disqualification when Rin brashly cut her off.

" Why was there a jounin going after my team?", she asked with underlying anger. This caused the proctor to pause and Baki to go wideeyed and look up..seeing a bunch of foreign jounin staring at him. Why the hell WAS there a jounin in the testing area? Usagi looked through the list of interference and quickly surmised that he wasn't supposed to be there.

" Baki-san, you weren't part of the exams, care to explain?", she asked unsurely. Baki looked like a deer in headlights, knowing he was balls deep in a possible diplomatic incidents, especially with a village that helped fund this exam. Therefore, he had no choice but to swallow his pride.

" Um, yes! Kazekage-sama decided to test them differently than the rest of the teams due to the promise they had shown in the first exam. So it was decided they automatically passed and that this exam was to purely test the peak of their abilities. So they pass with flying colors!", he proclaimed as he let them go.

"They do?", Usagi asked incredulously.

" Of course they do! It wouldn't be fair since they were testing under a jounin, while the rest of the teams were merely evading and fighting chunin now would it?", Baki didn't notice alot of the other jounin sensei's feathers getting ruffled by the statements he was spitting out, especially with Rin's still gullible ego inflating.

Asuma kept his comments to himself as he quietly stared at his team, still hanging off the jounin, before they all fell off. Yugao stumbled over to the proctor with swirls in her eyes and mindlessly handed her their scroll, then promptly fell flat on her back.

" Umm, they pass too...ANYWAYS! Goodteamgoodluckandgoodbye!", he blurted out as he ran back into the desert.

" Umm", Usagi mumbled as she wondered what the hell she was supposed to do. The awkward situation was cut short as she felt something tugging on her flack jacket. She turned to see Nanami bonelessly standing up, barely handing out...their scroll?

Rin saw this and looked down to the scroll still in her hand. She peered at it before putting her other hand in half ram.

" Kai!", The scroll poofed into smoke to reveal..a light pink vibrator. She was too triumphant to feel emparassed as she pointed it at Yuna.

" Ha!¡ Not only was my team pitted against a jounin, they passed fairly with 3 hours and 40 minutes to spare! Take that Steely Girl!",

Yuna's eye was twitching as the obscene toy was pointed inches from her face. Finally having enough, she swiped the thing out of Rin's hand.

"Who cares?¡ What the hell are you teaching them anyways?¡ Hengeing that THING into a scroll!", she argued until she realised she was holding it.

" ACK!", she screamed while tossing it into the air like it was a bomb. It landed into the crowd of jounins and genins. Shouts and shrieks were abound as they panicked and fended themselves from it. It could be seen flying into the air above them before landing on someone else. Finally it flew out of the crowd for the final time and disappeared somewhere into the small dusty town.

Usagi finally grabbed up Team 6's scroll, after which Nanami promptly fell in a heap. "Well, with that, I announce the second part of the exams, over. Since the amount of teams are under quota, we won't have to hold preliminaries. The third exam will begin in one month. Take the time to rest and train. Opponents will be decided during the tournament, and then singled out from there. Meet at the Suna stadium on April 17th at 8:00 a.m. Until then, good luck and congratulations on passing", Usagi finished.

Rin grinned down at her students, " 100% on the test and beat a jounin...sorta. You guys should be proud of yourselves...guys?", all she got in response was twitching and groans.

Meanwhile, Asuma was beaming at his students. Not only had they totally surpassed his expectations, they had risked their chances of success to help out another team.

" You guys did damn good. Now that you've gotten through the first and second parts, I can train your asses off for the finals!", He proclaimed. He only received gurggling sounds from them.

Asuma looked at Rin, who looked back. " Maybe we should give them the day off to recover", he suggested, to which Rin nodded. Everything went quiet until they both held their fists out.

" Jan"

"Ken"

"Pon!"

"Fuck!", Rin cursed, before popping a few shadow clones and picking up the two teams and heading back to Suna.

*The next day*

Teams 6 and 9 basked in the heat of the hot tub. Thank the sweet merciful gods this hotel had a hot tub. Kaa-chan could heal injuries, but sore muscles were too numerous and insignificant to heal. the heat was doing the job well enough though.

" Why the hell would they risk a diplomatic incident to fail us?", Kurenai groaned as she laid back against the jets.

" They know you're going to cream them in the finals, so the Kazekage wanted you gone to make his genin look better", Asuma piped in, starling the genin. How the hell did he get into the tub without them noticing?

" He did?¡", Rin cried out indignantly, equally startling the genin.

" How the hell did you two do that?¡", Nanami demanded.

Asuma quirked an eyebrow, " Do what?"

" Appear in the hot tub without us seeing you!", she elaborated.

" All part of the perks of being a chunin or jounin Nanami-chan", Rin answered with a smirk.

" **So what are you going to teach us?**" was the question that the two senior ninja found themselves assaulted with next. Kinda creepy how they did it all at once.

" That's where it gets tricky. Since we're not allowed to go back to Konoha, it's not like we can blatantly start teaching you jutsu or original techniques, since if you can learn it, an observer could as well. Though, you didn't have any preliminaries, so unless you were spamming that jounin with every technique you know, you should be able to hold your own against any competition you come up against. Mostly what we'll be doing is physical training, taijutsu, and anything we can teach you that can't be copied from observing alone. Asuma will be busy trying to get Team 9 up to snuff, since I'm sure the shithead chunin didn't even teach them tree walking",

She looked to the genin for confirmation.

" What's tree walking?", Yugao asked...from Asuma's lap. Rin choked and so did Asuma. How the hell did she do that?

" How the hell did you do that?¡" Indeed.

Yugao shrugged, " The perks of being a genin?",

"Or a cat", Asuma grumbled.

" Nya?"

" Anyways! We'll take the next couple days off to recuperate, and then it will be training for the rest of the month. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to pick up Naruto", she stated, getting out of the tub and walking to the changing room. Everybody else was staring, redder than lobsters.

" Why was she naked?", Kurenai asked for both teams.

" Errm one of the...prices of slipping into the hot tub undetected"

" *fidget* *fidget* Something's poking me"

" Yugao get off my lap"

* A while later*

Rin strolled down the streets with a blush still on her face. Honestly, between the erotic cake and now her ignorant exhibition, it was a wonder the whole of Konoha hadn't seen her naked. She pushed down those thoughts as she reached the "day care".

"I'm here to pick up Uzumaki Naruto", she stated to the receptionist/Suna Anbu. The receptionist nodded.

" Name, Retinal scan, verification code"

Rin quirked an eyebrow at that, which the Anbu used to flash a scroll in front of her with a picture of an eye on it. A flash of light later and the image turned green. Remembering the rest of the procedure, Rin spoke up.

" Uh, Inuzuka Rin. Ich, Ich, Shi, Kyu, San, Kyu, Nii"

The receptionist nodded as he got up and opened the door to let Rin through. She walked through and met with the head caretaker. " Um, I'm here to pick up Naruto?", she asked. The caretaker's eyes lit up

" Oh! Yes, he's with Temari right now", she answered.

" Temari?", Rin repeated in question.

" Yes, one of the other charges. It seems some of the other caretakers let her play with the baby a few days ago. They've been inseperable since", she explained as they walked across the playroom and into the nursery. Rin didn't like the idea of a child caring for a child, but when she finally saw the two, her eyes widened and she held out an arm to stop the other woman. She quickly started rummaging around in her coat for something.

Temari watched the baby in her lap with awe as he finished off ANOTHER bottle of formula.

" Boy, you soure eat alot Narudo-chan", she fumbled out as any three year old would as she rested the baby against her shoulder and patted his back like the caretakers showed her. Luckily, he was past the baby goo stage, so all she got was a burp, the set him down in her small lap and played with him.

" I wish I haud you for a barother. I don't evun get to see my new one-"

*click*

She was cut off by a flash of light and a click. She looked up curiously to see a woman with rectangles on her face holding a camera. " Aww! That's so cute! Hold that pose!",

*click*

After Rin was done, Temari spoke up.

" Who aure you?"

" I'm Naruto's Mother", she supplied as she put away the camera, " Thank you for watching Naruto, but I have to take him with me", she broke to the little girl.

"...oh", replied a glum Temari

The visage tore at Rin's heart, " Err, don't feel sad...I'll bring him back to visit in a few days...I promise", she pleaded. Temari's sad face perked up.

" Okay! A'll see you reeally soon Narudo-chan!", she chirped before waddling over to Rin with Naruto, which she happily took. With a few goodbyes and reassurances to bring him back, Rin finally departed with a happily giggling Naruto in her arms. She could see adoring looks cast his way from almost every woman on the street.

" Why do I have a feeling you're going to be a ladykiller when you grow up?", she asked the infant, only to get excited baby noises and the clapping of his small hands. Rin sweatdropped. that was never a good sign...for women anyways.

* One month later*

The crowds gathered into the stadium. People from Tsuchi, Hi, Kaze, and numerous other countries sat amongst eachother as they conversed, laughed, bickered, argued, and mainly, betted with eachother. To say that these exams brought in much needed revenue would be an understatement. Hell, Suna had people hidden in the crowds raising bets just to add to the pile.

Rin looked over the crowds from her reserved seat above the contestant box. The last month, she had been training her team in speed, response time, stamina, taijutsu, and chakra capacity. In other words, things that didn't warrant secrecy. It was a good thing too, since an unexpected addition popped up. She looked over at the three year old currently feeding Naruto. She knew the Kazekage didn't just entrust his daughter to a foreign jounin, even one of an allied village. Asuma told her as much.

From what she could surmise, especially with the very familiar caretaker that accompanied her everywhere, in the form of the jounin that was chasing her team through the desert, it was to get a one up on her squad...and probably punish him for fucking up.

She looked back down to Temari, who looked happy as could be, then shrugged to herself. ' How do I keep attracting kids? People are going to start thinking I'm some kinda pedophile or something', she thought to herself. Before she could contemplate further, the signal was given for the exams.

*In the Kage Box*

Hiruzen glared off into space as his pipe smoldered.

It was fucking hot!

Too hot!

It was bad enough fighting a war in this god forsaken desert. Now, decades later, they expected him to sit out here for hours on end in these stupid robes and, of course, the fugly hat.

He had no friggin clue what the Shodaime was smoking when he thought up the design, but aparently he shared the wealth cause he convinced all the other Kages that it was a good idea.

At least he could take solace in the fact there were four other people out there as ridiculous looking as him.

" Is everything alright Hokage-dono?", the Kazekage asked with a questioning stare.

'Shit', Hiruzen thought before he used the tried and true lie, " Just contemplating the paperwork that will be on my desk once I return". He knew it worked when he saw the Kazekage involuntarily shudder.

" Ah...I do not evny you", he replied before looking forward.

'Of course you don't Kage of the weakest village in the major five', Hiruzen grumbled in his head.

Now where was he?

Oh...that's right.

'Damn it's hot'. Honestly, he gave them enough money, couldn't the idiot have splurged on some air conditioning? Or, you know, a couple shinobi to fan them?¡ Like Suna's reknowned battle maidens...clad in bikinis...oh yes.

The Kazekage's guard fidgited uncomfortably for some reason.

The Kazekage quickly got around to announcing the start of the Chunin Exams after the Hokage started giggling like a pervert.

*With Rin*

"Damn, it hot!", Rin whined, " I can only imagine how the Hokage is doing up there", she mused as she kept an umbrella over the two youths.

" Probably putting in a tough act or oggling the Kazekage's bodyguards.."

Rin looked curiously at Asuma, " Those kunoichi with the huge fans? What, he doesn't get enough oggling done with leaf kunoichi that he has to with foreign ones as well?", she griped, ignoring the fact they were talking about the Hokage in such a way right in the middle of a crowd.

Asuma chuckled," He's had a thing for them for decades. Probably why he caught mom during the Second Shinobi War"

Rin nodded until what he said registered, then her jaw dropped, " He married a Suna fan maiden during the Second Shinobi War?¡". Two pairs of wide eyes, and a pair of curious eyes were on him...at least that was what he thought.

" No, he CAUGHT her during the war"

*flashback*

A woman with long brown hair tied into a ponytail, and vicious brown eyes, glared death at the man that had separated her from her squad. None other than the Sandaime Hokage, The Professor, The God of Shinobi himself.

Biwako was confident in her ablilities, ans was also confident that they didn't hold a candle to the skills of the man in front of her. Didn't mean she would surrender without a fight though.

" Sarutobi Hiruzen. The Professer himself. To what do I owe the honor of you singling me out from my team?", she grit out, as her grip on her battle fan tightened.

" Biwako of the Sandstorms, my purpose for specifically setting my sights on you is simple"...she tensed up, waiting for his reason.

" To defeat you", she facefaulted before jumping up and glaring daggers at Saurtobi

" OBVIOUSLY!", she roared.

"Then let's get to it!", Hiruzen shot back as his personal summon poofed into exsistence before turning into the famous diamond hard staff a moment later, Hiruzen spinning it around into a fighting stance. Biwako answered back by throwing open her fan and sending a vicious sandstorm at the man.

An hour. She managed to last an hour. "Damn you!", she growled out as she shakily tried standing only to fall back on her ass. The God of Shinobi smiled like a fiend, despite looking like he just wrestled a couple Iwa hookers.

" Just kill me already!", she yelled, to which Hiruzen just shook his head.

" To kill you was never my intent. I'm here to capture you. I have a question though...".

She glared as he paused.

" How do you feel about kids?"

Her jaw dropped before the only conclusion came to her.

She found enough energy to last another fifteen minutes.

But, eventually, she found herself on the ground again.

Then her arms tied up.

" I'M NOT GOING TO BE YOUR WAR PRIZE!í!", she roared as she used her free legs to try and kick the man as he attempted to tie them too.

" Dammit, hold still!", he shouted in frustration, getting a foot in the face for his effort.

In the end, she lost that fight too.

*End of the war*

The Sandaime Kazekage and Hokage were cutting the final peace treaty when the issue of prisoner release came up.

" While I agree with most of the details. there was one name that wasn't on the prisoner roster", the Kazekage informed.

" Oh?", Hiruzen played dumb.

" Yes, on of our Jonin, Biwako of the Sandstorms, was not on there, even though it's reported that you yourself separated her from the rest of her squad"

Hiruzen sighed, " Ah yes, about that-"

" Hiruzen!", a female belowed from down the hall. Then stomping could be heard, then his guards being tossed around, before the doors finally blew off the hinges, showing an irate Biwako who either let herself go, or was expecting soon.

" We're out of horseradish and I need my damn ice cream". Okay, obviously the later.

She then saw the Kazekage, " YOU'RE LATE! Look what this bastard did to me!", she roared as she displayed her oversized belly.

Both men sweatdropped before Hiruzen spoke up again.

"Uh, yes. Biwako has been taken as a war prize-"

" Fuck you!"

" -and will be staying as my wife-"

" I'm going to tear your manhood off while you sleep!"

The Kazekage's deadpan expression was fitting, " You make a perfect couple", he stated with sarcasm.

" Wait! You're not going to leave me here!", she growled with narrowed eyes.

" He claimed you as a war prize and we're on the losing side. You're not my ninja anymore so there's nothing I can do", the Kazekage stated simply, with Hiruzen grinning in victory.

" You...YOU'RE BOTH BASTARDS!¡!", she roared once again.

The two Kages spent the next ten minutes dodging whatever Biwako's hands found purchase on. Chairs, mugs, scrolls, chunin, the Daimiyo's wife's cat...

Pregnant women could be scary...pregnant fan maidens could be scarier.

Fortunately, she calmed down after there was a baby to tie her to the village, and by the time Asuma was born and the alliance went into effect, she was just grouchy alot.

*dne kcabhsalf*

Asuma blinked after finishing the tale, and looked aroundhim. Everyone was gawking at him in the immediate vicinity, to the point they all missed a few fights between genin they didn't know.

" What?", he huffed.

" You mean to tell me the Sandaime captured, knocked up, and claimed a Suna wind mistress when we were enemies?", Rin surmised incredulously.

" Where do you think I got my wind affinity from?", he asked rhetorically.

The Suna residents were still trying to process everything. Not so much that he did it, as it wasn't unheard of back then, but WHO he went after. Suna Fan Maidens were usually tough as nails, and ended up as old maids. It was much more common to go after Suna's kunoichi puppeteers, who tended to be major bondage and sexual objectification nymphos. Why would a man, the Sandaime Hokage no less, claim a woman, that could be called an icy dominatrix ON A GOOD DAY, as his wife?

Maybe the Hokage was a masochist...

" Why didn't he just marry a kunoichi from the Konoha? It would have been safer then, oh, I don't know, marrying your, at the time, enemy?", Rin argued.

" I asked him that too. His reply was that he wanted a woman that didn't take shit, and that all the Inuzuka femailes were taken at the time"

Rin shook her head as she looked back to the matches...then realized what he said. She whipped a stare back at Asuma.

" What?", he asked in confusion.

Rin sighed, " Nothing...You have a thing for fan maidens?"

" Hell no. Mom scared the crap out of me. My sister is just as bad. I'd pick an Inuzuka any day of the week. Less grumpy, more wild", he replied with a knowing grin.

" You flatterer you", Rin deadpanned as she elbowed him, which he took in stride.

" I aim to please"

Unknown to them, a little girl holding a baby was listening to the whole story.

" I wanna be a fan maid! Then I can get marrieded like that!",

All heads shot to the three year old Temari to see her eyes glistening. Baki facefaulted. Asuma shook his head with his hand on it, and Rin chuckled nervously.

" You don't really want that Temari-chan. It's not a very romantinc way to get married"

The quad-tailed girl looked undetered.

" Yah it is! Yue'll see! I'll do it and...um..Narudo-chan will marry me!", she proclaimed at the infant. "Yue'll fight me and marry me righet Narudo-chan?",

The infant's response was to giggle and clap. Rin was too busy containing herself to discourage the girl anymore. She had images of a chibi Naruto battling a chibi Temari, then whisking her away to mak her his wife.

Many kunoichi had romantic fantasies about being carried off against their will by a handsome, stronger shinobi. It came with the career. But that's what they remained, fantasies. In reality, there's no happy ending to being " whisked" away to an enemy village. Usually a very long T&I session, rape, torture, leverage for prisoner exchange, or things much much worse.

Rin even had such fantasies, up until she was tortured by Iwa nin and watched her teammate die in front of her. Her dreams and fantasies went away real fast after that, replaced by something more realistic and insidious.

Her thoughts were cut off as Hiroshi took to the field against a Kumo nin. The kumo nin pulled a sword and Hiroshi pulled his batons in counter. As soon as the proctor yelled start, they both jumped towards eachother, thinking they had enough to pull off a frontal attack. With a clang, the opponents met, with smirks, both opponents channeled chakra into their weapons in different ways...with confusion, both wondered why the other wasn't human toast. They both realized the electricity sparking off their opponents weapons wasn't their own, and cursed their damn luck before turning into a regular weapon on weapon fight.

It was a few minutes of clashing that Hiroshi came up with an idea in mind, he jumped away from his opponent and released his leg weights. With two times the force, he jumped at his opponent, causing him to deffend. He was damn good with that sword because he was keeping both of Hiroshi's batons at bay. A swiped came that nearly took Hiroshi's head off, but he leaned way back and then started back flipping away from his opponent. Something that was more Nanami's style but it worked for what he needed to do.

After regaining his footing, the Kumo genin shot after Hiroshi, who was still back flipping, and discretely brushing his weights with chakra on the way. Without thinking, the Kumo genin attempted to take the same route to cut him off in an awkward position, and had no time to stop as he barreled into a giant tangled bush of barbed wire that poofed out of the weights. He tried struggling free until he saw Hiroshi with his crackling baton a foot away from the bush.

Well...shit.

Rin watched the commotion as Hiroshi was declared the winner...then told to cut his opponent out. Bickering ensued.

It took him, the proctor, and the medics to pull the pissed genin out of it, leaving his clothes shredded in the process.

The fights were being randomly drawn, which was a good tactic. You would never know who your next opponent, with a month of notification, would be on the battlefield. Konoha did it to put on a grand spectacle for their clients. Suna, on the other hand, was doing what actually happens in a shinobi fight. They weren't worrying about style, teamwork, form, or leadership skills. They were focusing on if you could survive in one-on-one random fights, multiple engagements, and adapt to them.

You know, crap that usually happens on missions and in wars.

If you won against your opponent, and aren't dead or close to it at the end. Who cares how you do it?

Rin's musings ceased as she watched Nanami's fight start...with one of Yuna's students...and neither looked kindly to the other.

Rin watched the Iwa girl smirk as she fired off a doton jutsu, and then surprise as Nanami countered with the same element, then shock as Nanami apparently phased through the earthen wall she erected and engaged the genin with glowing blue hands. Rin looked over to where Yuna was sitting to see her glaring death lasers back at Rin for teaching her student THAT.

Rin guessed she couldn't blame her considering the last time Yuna was on the end of that technique. Yuna's genin at least knew enough to avoid the glowing blue hands. She doged instead of blocking Nanami's strikes, then jumped back to fire off a Mud Dragon at Nanami, who used her ejection seat on herself to jump above it and dive at the girl, who quickly got out of there and started another jutsu in the form of Rising Stone Spears which Nanami landed right into. Rin's heart stopped for an instant as she saw Nanami impaled on the stony spikes, before the body melted into mud.

'Mud clone? When the hell did she learn that?¿'

Apparently, it surprised the genin too as her eyes started sweeping the arena.

Then Rin went into an episode of nostalgia as she watched two arms come up from the ground underneath the Iwa kunoichi.

Her eyes widened and snapped a look at Yuna to see her biting her tongue to stop from blurting out a warning, which would disqualify her whole team.

The nostalgia continued as the hands snapped blue and grabbed the Iwa genin's knees. With a start, the genin jumped to the side. Rin winced, knowing was was going to happen when she landed.

*Pop-Pop* was heard audibly as the kunoichi's knees buckled visibly. She landed on her ass in confusion until the nerves she smashed in her knees started gradually registering pain.

Intense Pain

The girl curled up and fruitlessly grabbed her knees as she screamed out in agony.

Nanami had cut her cruxiate ligaments in her knes, and when the girl landed, the only things reliably keeping her knee joints in alignment weren't there.

Torn cartilage, pinched nerves, bone bruising, ruptured tissue, and swelling. A kunai wound was a cakewalk compared to it. The girl wasn't getting up under her own power.

The proctor figured that out quick and named Nanami the winner. The medics got out there and moved the bawling girl onto a stretcher. Rin secretly flashed a glance at Yuna to see her murderously staring back.

Of all the contestants and all the techniques and hits Nanami could have gone with, Nanami just had to align those three. The least the girl was getting out of this was a bingo book entry.

Why had she thought of that move anyways? She was still an addict back then so her memories were pretty hazy. All she could really remember was shooting up under Yuna in the water and doing the exact same thing.

God, why couldn't she have gotten addicted to something that didn't make her forget?...Anyways-

" Oi. Rin. You're missing Kurenai's fight", Asuma interupted, seeing the play of emotions on Rin's face when she was thinking to herself.

Rin blinked in surprise and looked to see Kurenai going to to to with on of the more promising Suna genin. Another wind user with a strange fetish for straws. Rin found out why as he cut a swathe in the ground with the damned thing and Fuuton.

She watched with pride as Kurenai analyzed her opoonent and came to the conclusion that fire jutsu would probably be a bad idea against him, especially with his attacks. She still remembered the TRUE affinity lesson she gave to them.

*Flash-*

"So, who can tell me about elemental affinities?", Rin asked her genin during a cooldown in one of Suna's shady spots. Hiroshi was the first to answer.

" they're the elements that a person is naturally attuned to, from one to, in legendary cases, all five"

Rin nodded at the answer, " Good, and what about the opposing balance of these natures?". This time, Kurenai spoke up.

" Each element is strong against another element and weak against another element. Earth is strong against water, but weak against lightning. Fire is week against water but strong against wind. Water is strong againstgire but weak against earth. Wind is strong against lightning but weak against fire. And lightning is strong against earth but weak against wind", Kurenai stated in textbook perfection.

Rin nooded again, " Good. Then you know the bullshit version".

The genin stared at her in confusion before Kurenai spoke back up, " W-what do you mean Kaa-sensei?".

Rin went into lecture mode.

" The version at the Academy is a very vague version meant to be learned quickly and remembered easily. The truth though is that the elements aren't that cut and dry. Let's start with fire. If two attacks, say the Grand Fireball and the Air Bullet were shot at eachother with equal strength and speed, which would win?", she asked, eyeing up the three. Instead of answering with the obvious cookie cutter answer that " the fire would", they actually thought about it, until they came to an answer.

" They would cancel eachother out", Nanami answered for the group.

" Partly, yes, they would expend eachother's momentum between the two opponents leaving a fireball and a ball of condensed air to...", she led on, and Hiroshi picked up on it immediately.

" Explode!"

" Bingo. That what a fire technique would do when put against a wind jutsu of the same type and strength. Now, if you put a wide range jutsu...say..Great Breakthrough, against a pinpoint jutsu like Karyu Endan, fire would win, since it's concentrated but the wind isn't, leaving if just fueling the attack. But there are also some wind attacks that I've heard off that can still the air, or even move it away from the attacks, limiting or even taking away the oxygen the fire attack needs to burn, which would expel it. Then you have lightning, who's " strength" is against earth. If that were the case, Lightning country wouldn't be mountainous now would it? If an earth jutsu is grounded, nothing short of a piercing lightning strike is going to trump it. It's only when a Doton technique is either made of mud instead of rock, or it's either separated or has limited connection to the ground, that Raiton can trump Doton. But, it can trump suiton by going through the jutsu and turning it into steam, or grounding in the water and electrocuting the opponent if they're connected, BUT, if it's a large scale jutsu with no connection to the user, or going to hit you regardless, it will either ground out harmlessly or possibly even fry YOUR ass. I can explain better with this easy to read chart", she stated, before pulling out a chart that made the Shiki Fujin look understandable.

All three twitched before getting a 5 hour lesson in the intricacies of the elements.

*-back*

'Dammit. Stay focused!", she mentally admonished herself for thinking through Kurenai's match. The girl had won somehow. Rin was confident she would.

Rin's concentration wavered again when the woman in front of her shot up and held her stomach before making a mad dash for the bathroom.

The moment Rin saw Miyuki order those damned nachos, she knew it would happen. Those things EMITTED evil.

Rin looked down to the arena to see one of Miyuki's students...Kagura?...no, Yukari...enter the ring. Miyuki was going to miss her student's match...*flinch**wince**grimace*...but that might not be a bad thing as Rin watched the one sided fight between her and the Kumo nin that was throroughly handing her her ass.. Luckily, the Kumo genin wasn't going for killing blows, so the girl ended up with a few bruises, a bloody nose, and a very hurt pride bone. The wobbling girl was led to the infirmary.

Rin looked to the new contestants that entered the arena and slumped. Apparently it was Toyo's turn against a confident looking Suna kunoichi.

She stared down...up..her opponent with confidence. She was going to be Suna's greatest Fuinjutsu master..even if they said she didn't have the raw talent for it.

They wanted her to be a fan maiden! Bah! She didn't wat to be some front line brutess, swinging a fan around at enemies. Her intelligence was far beyond such primitive things.

" Get ready to be amazed and defeated by Suna's premier fuinjutsu expert you tree hopper!", she declared, pointing at Toyo. It would have been more dramatic if her oponent actually reacted instead of continuing to look at her with those dead eyes. This guy gave her the creeps.

" Tree hopper?¿", Rin repeated with confusion as she watched the fight start.

Asuma shrugged, " Maybe "tree hugger" was getting boring?", he guessed as they watched the girl pop a scroll open and shoot a lightning jutsu at Toyo.

What an innovative little twerp. She was probably going to hear about this from Hiroshi. Luckily, Toyo dodged and attacked, putting the girl on the deffense, which she quite literally formed from a scroll to which Toyo's attacks bounced off.

Yikes, a chakra shield? Maybe she wasn't full of hot air.

"Ha! Try all you want, baka! None of your attacks will get through my chakra shiel-Itai!", she yelped as she let go of the scroll when it burst into flames.

" Okay, maybe she's not as talented as I thought", Rin mumbled as Toyo started shooting water bullets at her, which she had to physically dodge. Looks like he didn't want her pulling out anymore seals.

Rin had to agree. It's obvious the girl screwed up somewhere on the last one, who knows what might happen with the next.

The girl didn't like this apparently, as she shot off a wind jutsu that made Toyo dodge while she pulled out a tag with a seal on it...and explosive note?

She was getting mad. He was trying to soak her masterpieces! She shot off a well placed **F****ūton: Reppūshō**** (Wind Release: Gale Palm)** that made him dodge the rocks and debris it picked up and threw at him while she pulled out one of her trump cards.

He wouldn't be shooting off water jutsus after she supressed his chakra.

Toyo started going through handseals again as she charged him. She fented left as he called out more water bullets then came in from the right, sending a kick at his head. He quickly blocked it, giving her the window to throw the tage at his stomach, and them flip back as the idiot grabbed at the stuck seal.

" Hah! I just cut off your chakra! Let's see you do those stupid water-"

*BOOM*

Rin's mouth hung in horror. Everybody's was. That moronic little girl tried to make a chakra supression seal, something even she would have a hell of a time making!

And she fucked up, because the abdomen Toyo's hara used to be in was just an empty cavity now.

The seal "master" stared blankly and numbly at where her opponent used to be...she could feel stuff sliding down her face. Her gaze shifted to the ground where the boy now laid, a giant hole where she had applied the tag, and the resulting trail of...him...leading right back to her.

She was just coming out of the shock when Toyo woke back up. Her bloodied hands flew to her moth in horror as Toyo gurggled ans wheezed, trying to breath through shredded lungs.

She never heard the proctor call her win, or the quick shout for the medics.

Instead, she turned a bad shade of blue as Toyo stared at her in horror before the life finally left his eys.

She crumpled to the ground and screamed the next moment.

Rin had watched the whole scene. Asuma had watched the whole scene. Temari had her eyes covered by Baki, much to her displeasure, as the medics cleaned up what was left of Youo and helped up the very shaken "fuinjutsu expert", who had obviously experienced her first kill in one of the worst ways imaginable.

An unintended one who didn't die instantly.

She'd be lucky if she wasn't traumatized for life. Rin couldn't demonize the girl, but now Rin had to break the news to Miyuki. Most likely, she would need to knock out the woman right afterwards.

That plan went right out the window when she turned to get up.

Miyuki was staring wideeyed at the arena, standing right near the entrance to the innards of the stadium. She must have seen it. A moment later, she blolted back down the stairs.

" Asuma! Watch Naruto!", she blurted out before jumping up and trying to weasle her way through the throngs of spectators that needed to "freshen up" after the gore of the last fight. She finally made it down the stairs and to the branch off between the restrooms and the infirmaries.

Infirmaries

There were more than one according to the sign, divided by village affiliation, which meant Yukari would be there too.

Why did they put Konoha's all the way in the back?¡

She started hearing screaming coming from one of the corridors, she dashed down it as she heard a younger voice trying to placate the owner of the first. She burst through the doors-

Yukari was a girl with little self confidence. This wasn't always the case. In the academy, she was one of the most outspoken girls in the class...even if it was mostly about the cutest and coolest guy there.

Then she was put on Team 7. The minute she saw her sensei, she wished she could go back to the academy.

The constant watch over her and her fellow "teammates" by their sensei, the maniacal mutterings, being told the ways she could die in detail, and being forced to take on a dead girl's name had stripped any fire at all out of the girl, which was examplified, along with other things, in her match. She was utterly humiliated out there, but when the medics brought in what was left of her teammate, she knew she got off lucky.

Then her sensei burst through the doors, and she sort of envied Toyo right now.

It was just her, Miyuki, and Toyo's body in the infirmary, the medics having left after dropping off the corpse of her teammate, which meant she was the only one there when Miyuki started mumbling, the laughing, then screaming and shaking Toyo's body as she spit the most awful things about genin that were no more.

Then, in a moment of compassion or stupidity, Yukari tried getting Miyuki to stop, pleading with her while pulling on her arm.

Yukari realised her mistake when Miyuki finally directed her attention to the girl. With a look that screamed murder.

Time slowed down for Yukari as she let go og Miyuki in fear, watched as the jounin grabbed a scalpel off the medical cart next to them, felt the pull on the collar of her shirt and the resulting backwards acceleration...and a pull of something through her neck.

Rin spared a glance at Yukari, who grabbed at her throat as soon as she hit the floor. Not a good sign. Unfortunately, she was dodging slashes from a crazed jounin. One which had opened up her face right across her whole left cheekbone, to rush to the girl.

Why the hell did they forbid weapons in the stadium, but leave SCALPELS LYING AROUND?¡.

All other thoughts were distracted as Miyuki continued screaming bloddy murder while also trying to commit it.

Rin finally was able to grab up an empty instrument tray, deflect one of Miyuki's mindless strikes causing the woman to fumble, which Rin used to bring the steel tray hard across Miyuki's face, sending the Jounin into a wall before she slid down to the floor. It seemed to knock some lucidity into Miyuki as she stared out in space with a horrified look before jumping up and out another exit.

Rin wasted no time. Diving down right next to Yukari she started healing as fast as she choked on her blood, which ran down the wound, but was bleeding worse internally.

It looked like Rin got her out in the knick of time. Miyuki only knicked her jugular instead of cutting it clean open. The girl was damn lucky, Rin could fix this, but not if Yukari drowned in her own blood in the meantime.

Rin grabbed the thrashing girl by the cheeks and forced Yukari to look at her. " Yukari! Calm down and swallow it!".

The girls tear filled eyes stared at Rin before she heard a gulp, and then a gasp of breath.

" Keep swallowing, I have to close off the artery", Rin commanded the girl.

It took two more minutes for Rin to close off the flow of blood and close the wheezing hole in the girl's windpipe. Surprisingly, the strike didn't damage the girl's vocal cords, which Rin found out when the girl spoke up.

" I w-wanna go home. I don't want to do this anymore!", the girl sobbed in half conciousness as Rin finished up.

Rin sighed, " You will...you will...I have to find your sensei-"

" What the hell happened in here?" a familiar voice called out. Rin looked up to see Kurenai gawking at the two of them, which turned to shock when she saw Rin's face.

" Sensei! You're cheek is bleeding...alot!"

Rin touched her cheek and winced when pain shot through her face.

" Kami! I can see bone!-"

" Sshhh!", Rin shushed the girl as she started healing it. Rin continued as she looked back at Kurenai to see her sporting a black eye, some bruises, and favoring her right leg.

" Did you lose your match?", Rin asked distractingly.

Kurenai nodded, " I was winning until I stepped on some damn makibishi spikes, but what-"

" A medic isn't coming?"

"..he said he's be here in 10 minute-"

" Good, stay here with Yukari, I have to go find her sensei".

Kurenai looked down at the sobbing girl with a fresh pink scar across her neck, and back at Rin.

"...o-oooh...hai", she stated quietly, " how do I explain this mess?".

"Grieving sensei vented on it and cut herself before running out", Rin supplied solemnly as she walked out of the room with a grim face, leaving Kurenai to console the crying girl.

Rin have been searching high and low for Miyuki for the past half an hour. The woman could have massacred a quarter of Suna by now. Thoug, Rin doubted the Anbu, that were watching Rin like hawks, would have let that happen. The village was pretty much empty thanks to the finals, so they were probably bored out of their skulls...so they might have tailed Miyuki as well.

It was worth a shot.

She looked up at a bunch of rooftops, " Did you see where a distraught Konoha kunoichi with crazy eyes went?"

She waited a few moments before a *ping* directed her attention to a hotel district sign that was hit with a rock.

The hotel, of course.

" Thank you!", she called out while waving, then ran back to the hotel.

Hiroshi smirked to himself with his split lip stinging in the process. He had the perfect trap set up for this haughty little bitch from Taki, who had taken out Kurenai with makibishi spikes and a large amount of water blobs...which felt like a punch from a jounin.

It kept him from going at her with his batons, but he would get her, OH, would he get her. The blue haired girl started lobbing off more of those fucking water blobs at him, which would probably hit if he actually fell for the spikes.

He dodged all of them, landing into a rocky part of the arena.

She actually pursued him

Hiroshi calculated which path she would take through them for the most cover. As she tred quickly through the path, she came to a sudden stop as her feet stuck to the ground by some sticky trap made up to look like sand. No matter how she tugged, she was stuck.

Then, the face of a boulder started sizzling at her.

Her eyes widened in horror before she expectedly shielded her face.

*POOF*

The crowd started cheering.

Well...the male portion anyways.

Hiroshi pulled out a camera and started snapping pictures as the girl opened her eyes in confusion, thinking that the tag failed or something. Then a stray wind went by and something felt way off.

She looked down and went blue before innevitably wrapping one arm around her chest and using the other hand to shield her decency...or what was left of it.

"YYAAAAAHH!"

Rin covered her mouth with her hand as she stared into the room. She mustered up the will to get in and close the door, the ceiling fan creaking from the shift in pressure. The room grew dark wihtout the light coming from the hall.

Rin flipped a switch and heard a hum, looked back and quickly shut the switch back off as she berated herself for her mistake while the fan winded down. She grabbed a kunai off of the nightstand and, with hesitance, got up on the bed and proceeded to cut Miyuki down.

'I-it would ha-ave been easier if...she had used rope inst-stead of ninja wire' Rin thought to distract herself as, with a final *ting*, she cut the last wire while holding Miyuki for the innevitable drop.

Rin might have been a little more hasty if there was even the slightest chance of saving her, but she knew she was dead as soon as she opened the door. Maybe if she didn't take so fucking long finding her, she could have cut her down before...but then what, she would have probably snapped again, with Rin inches away from her.

Maybe if she had incapacitated her at the stadium...it would have taken too long and Yukari would be dead.

She could sit here and think of a thousand different ways it could have went...but it was already past tense. It was no use dwelling on it. She at least saved Yukari's life, that's what the sane Miyuki would have wanted.

She pulled open the covers of the bed, and layed Miyuki in before covering her back up again. She opened the door and went outside, putting the "do not disturb" sign on the knob before leaving to inform the Hokage that they had an extra body to take back to Konoha.

Hiroshi looked up to the stands just in time to see Rin retake her seat. His gaze became nervous as he turned back to his opponent, who had been glaring death lasers at him since his fight with the Taki kunoichi.

" Admit it! You just wanted to see her naked didn't you?¡ What, I don't turn you on anymore?¡"

" Oh come on! It's not like that at all! I just did it to get back at her for Kurenai!"

" Oh, so Kurenai gains special attention, that you have to deffend her honor?¡ Hoping to get in her pants too?¡"

God, Nanami could be jealous.

" Maybe I should too! Is that what you want¡? A big flesh sandwhich for Hiroshi the Manwhore?¡"

"Manwhore?¡ Awww that did it! I'm gonna shove my batons so far up your ass your teeth will tingle!"

Nanami's hands flashed blue.

" You'd love that wouldn't you?¡"

" Damn straight I would!"

"Bring it on!"

Rin half watched as her two students battled eachother in a grand finale. Asuma knew something was very wrong. Her two students were the contestants and the only emotion on her face looked like depression.

" Trouble?" he asked.

" Miyuki. We need to pick up her students once the exams are done." she replied vaguely. Asuma didn't fail to notice the freshly healed gash across Rin's face, hardly noticeable when the puffiness would die down, but something that wasn't there when she left.

The two were quiet...as explosive notes went off, stone pillars shot from the ground, a lightning dragon smashed against a stone dragon, and the crowds cheered at the battle royale.

They were both running low on chakra. Hiroshi's batons were scattered on the battlefield. It turned into a straight taijutsu fight. Nanami was the best taijutsu user on the team, but Hiroshi knew her, now, backup style all too well. She had been using it since they graduated afterall.

So with a little on the fly improvisation, and the fact he was the best donkijutsu user in the lands, because noone else stepped up for the title, Hiroshi was keeping up. Nanami was frustrated that all her attacks were getting literally beaten off with a stick.

This was Suna for kami's sake, where the hell did he even find a stick?¡

The fight went on until Nanami purposely overextended to break the thrice damned stick, and succeeded, while Hiroshi grabbed at her arm. The two fell to the ground. It turned into a stand off as they both grappled eachother and fought for dominance.

Rin's attention went to the arena when confused yells were directed at the opponents. Her eyes widened before she covered her face in embarassement as Hiroshi and Nanami tried to eat eachother's face after grappling eachother.

" Umm...with this...it's a tie", the proctor declared as the two kept going at it.

Disappointment was abound as people complained at the two.

" It's a sign! Make love, not war!", someone yelled, then murmers of inpiration started up, before it turned into mass cheering. Rin just grabbbed up Naruto and disappeared while the proctor tried prying her two students apart before they started ripping their clothes off. Rin's little entourage decided to follow her as well, seeing as the exams were done.

Hiruzen laughed like a madman, at the ending of the last fight, while the Kazekage twitched irritably. A perfect way to lighten the old Kage's mood, especially after hearing that one of his jounins had snapped and then hung herself. Right after he had bolstered Konoha's forces with hired reinforcements to boot.

If she hadn't killed herself, she and her team would have gone through recovery like he had sent the rest.

Why was any team labeled 7 doomed to a horrific fate? Especially this one. This one consisted of 12 dead members and 2 traumatized survivors.

And then Team 9 was being led by Asuma. What the fuck?

And one of them impressed him in their fights. What the double fuck?

He would need a written report for this from Rin. And this wasn't even a mission!

One of their mind fuckery missions where they led swordsmen screaming around the countryside, or mutated weasles pop out of nowhere and start killing animal rights activists.

You know, shit he would expect from a Team 7, not a Team 6!

Luckily, he wouldn't have to send her on anymore missions. All her students had their promotions in the bag. Now, she could concentrate on her primary mission while her students set out for themselves.

With that in mind, he got ready to leave.

Afterall, the excuse about paperwork...*shudder* wasn't an excuse.

(April 26th)

Rin was at the table in the kitchen of their house. They just got back to Konoha that morning. The trip back was a hell of alot quieter than the trip there, considering all she had were a couple of chunin led teams following her. The others went back when they had failed during the first and second exams. So, she only had one chunin to vent her frustration on. She had tried to be upbeat on the way back, but she was never good at hiding her emotions, especially when Temari asked when they would be back.

That was a heart tear right there.

And now she was writing down what had happened.

Everything that had happened.

She looked down at the almost finished report as she took a sip of tea, then started writing down her recommendations that she had come up with. She didn't want anymore deaths, even if the Hokage had lessened the burden on all the genin, they still needed proper instruction.

Rin made her way through a quieter part of Konoha, pushing Naruto in his stroller in front of her. The glares had started as soon as she had gotten through the gates, which were being guarded by warrior priestesses from the souther Fire Temple by the way. She really didn't want to start killing civilians like her mood was telling her to, so she avoided them.

Asuma was god knows where and her team was helping the other teams out. This is how she came across an amusing, yet concerning sight.

"Ugh! I swear Kiba, you get heavier every day!", her 6 year old niece, Hana, complained as she tried getting Kiba back into his stroller after he aparently escaped.

Naruto learned how to crawl during their time in Suna, and damn could he be stealthy about it. If it wasn't for Temari, Rin was sure she would have spent more time looking for him than trainging her team.

It was strange how the little ball of energy could stick to the three year old girl.

" Oi. Hana. Taking Kiba for a walk?"

The little girl perked up at the familiar voice and turned around.

" Rin Obaa-san! You're back!", the little girl exclaime with a smile as Rin walked up to her.

" Yeah. I just got back today", she asnwered before the girl started firing off questions excitedly. Rin tried answering them with as much energy as she could. Hana had always been kind of the oddity in the clan, seeing as she was calmer than most Inuzuka, and didn't give into baser instincts on a whim...so far. She lacked the feral eyes and elongated teeth that most Inuzuka had as well.

It had been joked about that if the ages had been farther apart, Hana could pass as Rin's daughter.

They had never stopped to think that MAYBE "two sisters" would have been a better comparison, Noo! Kami forbid they thing something like that!

Speaking of sisters.

" So, how's your mommy doing?", 'And why the hell did she let her two children walk around Konoha unescorted?'

Hana's face became sullen

" She's still sad after daddy went to sleep"

Rin's eyes widened

" Wh-what? He did?", Rin's voice shaked.

Hana nodded sadly, " Uhuh. He went to sleep while you were gone. I really wish he would wake up so I can play with him, but mommy says he has to sleep for a really long time".

He may have been just Rin's brother-in-law, but he was still family, and a huge part of Tsume's life. Hell, they had been harassing and embarassing eachother since they were teenagers. What the hell happened? She planned to find out, but first-

" Hana, I'm going to see the Hokage, and I want you and Kiba to come with me"

She wasn't going to leave her niece and nephew alone out in Konoha.

Hana's eyes lit up, " Sugoi! Come on Kiba! We're going to see the Hogage!", the child proclaimed to the infant, who just gurgled in response. With that, the small group made thair way to the tower.

Hiruzen's eye twitched. Not so much from the report, since he had already braced himself for that. No, the problem was the two babies chewing on the ends of his robe and the little girl who was jumping up and down behind him, trying to see what he was reading.

Rin seemed to have her mind on other things, not noticing the scene, which is why she jumped when the Hokage cleared his throat.

" Is there something else Rin, or can you get you assault squad off of me?", he grumbled.

Totally missing the hint, Rin spoke up, " Actually, there is. Hana, take your brother out to the hall please"

" Aww", Hana complained as she grabbed up Kiba, who was still attached to Hiruzen's robe, and pulled him off before going out to the hall.

Rin looked back at the Hokage, " What happened to Inuzuka Kenta Hokage-sama?"

The old man sighed and slumped in his chair, " Something none of my shinobi should have to face. He was the only survivor in a team that went on an A-rank. Even though he looked like he went through hell, many had suspicions that he purposely got his team killed, even after confirming his story. It apparently got so bad after I left for Suna, that he commited suicide last week."

"Oh god", Rin blurted out as she started feeling numb.

" I...I have to go Hokage-sama. Could you watch Naruto thanks.", she blurted out as she walked out of the room. Hiruzen stared at her back as she left.

Sure, he could watch a baby for a while, since he would have to drop something on her that would probably depress her worse. He looked down to see that Naruto wasn't there. He wtarted scanning the room until he hour him chewing on something else

An explosive tag.

Rin poked her head into Tsume's house and looked around. Seeing noone, she started searching the house. Low and behold, she finally found her in the bathroom, the smell of blood clung to the air.

To Rin's grim relief, it wasn't Tsume's, which meant it was where Kenta...

Tsume was sitting up against the wall with her face tucked into her knees. Rin quietly sat along side her, letting to woman feel her presence so as not to startle her.

" When did you get back?", the Matriarch mumbled, not moving to even look at her.

" Just this morning", Rin replied back quietly. She waited a while for a response before continuing.

" I found Hana walking Kiba around alone by the park near the Hokage Tower". That got a reaction out of the woman as she flinched visibly.

" Th-they're safe right?"

" Yeah, They're in the courtyard."

" A-arigatou...I doubt anybody else would lift a finger for them", the woman ground out.

" Tsume-"

" Did you hear what they called him? A spy! A traitor! I even heard one inventive son of a bitch call him a "team killing fucktard" before I smashed his face in! He was as loyal as any Inuzuka and they spit on him after what he went through! He didn't need that! He lost an arm in that skirmish for god's sake! What was he supposed to do?¡ Die like the rest of his team just because they didn't make it?¡ He's the only reason those other fucking families know what happened at all!¡", she screamed as she slammed a fist against the wall with enough force to crack the tile. " I don't see why I should bother protecting these idiots anymore..."

Rin stayed quiet through the whole thing, waiting for Tsume to lose steam, as she had done a few times before.

" So, the Aburame were disparaging him?".

Tsume's anger seemed to start deflating," ...no"

" The Hyuuga?"

"...no"

" The Sarutobi? The Yamanaka? Hell, the Uchiha?"

"...none of them"

" Then who?"

"...the families of the deceased...and then the civilians when they picked up on it"

" So you want to stop defending your home because the grieving families and some stupid civilians caused it?"

"They may be stupid, but they outnumber us 4 to 1, especially now", Tsume ground out.

Rin sighed, " That's true, like a bunch of fucking cattle...but there's still plenty of people worth protecting here Nee-san...people who didn't turn their backs on your husband".

Rin got up and extended a hand to Tsume, " ...and don't see Naru-chan as a giant demon fox..they're the ones we protect", she stated as Tsume grabbed her hand and she pulled her up.

" What about the civilians that do?"

Rin quirked an eyebrow, " Well, if it ever comes down to an invasion of the actual village, I'm not gonna jump in front of any kunai for them. I'm no fucking martyr. After all, we can always get more civilians", Rin supplied with a smirk, which caused Tsume to chuckle hysterically. It was true afterall.

They walked through the house to the coutyard in silence until Tsume spoke up again, trying to change the subject.

" So...how did the chunin exams go?"

Rin semed to deflate a bit, " Oh, stuff happened. Almost murdered a child abusing chunin, trained desk ninja, had a jonin sensei crack and try to kill her student before hanging herself..."

Tsume flinched. Her and her big mouth.

*Timeskip July*

Rin was chopping up vegetables quietly in her kitchen, making dinner for...herself. It had been 3 months since the Sandaime promoted her whole team, along with...that one girl from Asuma's team and, surprisingly, one of the kunoichi from that seduction chunin.

2 months after their promotions, Hiroshi and Nanami moved out, with tearful embraces and words of thanks. It made sense, having two sexually active couples in the same house became awkward afterall.

And here Rin thought it would be Kurenai who would move out first. But it was her that was left. Asuma had hung around one of the Twelve Guardians when they got back, and impressed him with his skill set. So much so that they asked him to join.

*Flashback*

" So...you want to leave Konoha for the next eight years to play bodyguard for the Daimiyo...did I get that right?", Rin asked quietly, but Asuma could feel the anger rolling off of her in waves.

" I want to reach jounin, Rin, just like you did, and this is a perfect opportunity to do that. Plus, I want to get out from under my old man's thumb for a while-"

" Eight years?¡"

*Flinch*, " That was the shortest term of service they had".

" We'd both be in our twenties before you're done! And what do you expect me to do in the meantime? Long at a crappy photo of you and masturbate for close to a decade?¡"

Asuma cringed. This was going to take alot of convincing.

*End flashback*

The argument went on for an hour or so, but the result was the same as before they started it. Asuma had left yesterday, promising to visit the minute he got time off, which wouldn't happen until his initial training was done. And with Kurenai on a mission in River Country, the house was empty.

It was a depressing thing seeing something that used to feel so full of life was now stunted to one and a half occupant. Tsume was still recovering from the suicide of her husband. Hiroshi and Nanami were on missions more often than not.

It was just her and Naruto...'crap', she thought as she spied the empty high chair. She set down the knife to begin another search for the crawling nightmare.

She didn't have to go far, as she found him using the table leg to stand. Which was in it's own right amazing. When he started lifting his foot, Rin stopped dead in her tracks and sat down on the floor. " He couldn't be...could he?".

Her question was answered as one of his little feet plopped down in front of him, then the same thing happened with his other foot.

"He is!", she squealed as he started plodding across the rug. Rin held out her arms excitedly.

" Come on Naru-chan! You can do it!", she encouraged as the tyke got closer and closer. Finally, the toddler made it to her arms-

" You did it! I'm so proud of-ugh",

-and grabbed her boobs.

"...Ah"

*Timeskip September*

Rin walked slowly as she held Naruto's toddler harness. He was a little walking maniac, and would last hours beofre he tuckered out.

'Deffinitely going to be a shinobi with those motor skills'

So, it wasn't him she was slowing down for. Behind her, the thumps of crutches padded through the street as Kurenai hobbled to the next prospective property on her list.

She had broken her leg in the last mission she was on, and would be laid up for the next few months, so she decided to do apartment shopping in the meantime. Unlike Nanami and Hiroshi, who had bought and entire house for any "future expansions" as they put it, Kurenai didn't need all that space, so apartments were her main pursuit.

" The next one should just be a few more blocks away", Rin informed her, getting a groan from the girl.

"My armpits will be raw by then", the girl complained, earning a chuckle from Rin.

"They'll toughen up soon enough. I went through the same thing when I was on crutches. Give it a month and you'll be able to walk on the crutches without your legs at all"

Kurenai looked at her with an incredulous stare.

" That's kind of a useless skill to learn"

" There's plenty of useless skills to learn while you're inured...like using a deck of cards as weapons, or how to stick yourself along with your hospital bed to the ceiling with chakra, or how to pause your heart to scare the shit out of the nurses, or how to use the bedpan without getting up, and the many individually unique ways to escape the hospital". She proclaimed proudly. Kurenai was still trying to figure out the bedpan trick as they continued on...and why Rin escaped from the hospital. Wasn't she a medic nin?¿

As much as it pained Rin to think about living alone with Naruto in the house after everything that had happened, it's not like she could hold onto them forever. Kurenai wanted to get on with her life. Rin should be happy for her.

" So when we _finally_ find one you like, when are you going to move in?", Rin prodded at the girl's indecision, earning a roll of the eyes from Kurenai.

"Well, first I want it repainted. Then appliances if need be. Then pick out furniture and stuff. So probably not until after Naruto's birthday", the chunin supplied. Rin's eyes widened.

" That's coming up already?¡", she shrieked in surprise. Kurenai nodded agreeingly.

" I can't believe it either. What a chaotic year it was too. Luckily things have gotten better since then". And they truly had. The last KIA was back in August, and the suicide rate had gone to almost pre-kyuubi attack levels. Pregnancies between team memebers (and in some cases, sensei and student) had gone down as well. With the influx of outside help, it allowed their forces a very much needed reprieve. The bitch chunins went back to their jobs, and the genin were given jounin and tokubetsu jounin ( which was alot more acceptable).

Team 9 was given an actual jounin sensei, even if she had been retired for a number of years beforehand. It was odd how Uchiha Mikoto would take a genin team this late in her life, but it was probably more for public relations than anything.

There have been rumors about the Uchiha controlling the Kyuubi that night, which Rin thought was utter nonsense. But the civilians, and even some of the shinobi, believed it could be true. All that suspicion and resentment had caused the Uchiha Clan's image to faulter. It looks like they were trying to build it back up.

"So, what are you doing for his birthday anyways?", Kurenai piped up as they rested on a bench after looking through another apartment.

" I'm not sure. Keep away from that "Kyuubi Festival" for sure", Rin replied with a scowl. Kurenai nodded agreeingly.

" I don't blame you. I mean, who the hell has a festival celebrating a day where half our forces were slaughtered and our Hokage gave up his life? I sure as hell never saw one for the ends of any of the shinobi wars. Or hell, where's the festival celebrating the founding of the village?",

Rin nodded, " I don't want to know what their reasons or motives are, I'm just going to avoid it alltogether. As for his birthday, I'm not entirely sure. I haven't seen the

"odd coulple" for a few months now, and Asuma was still going through training the last I "heard" from him".

Kurenai snorted at that. The last letter she got from him was when he split his leg open during practice and was highly doped up on pain killers. On of the other Guardians wrote as much underneath Asuma's "message", cuase there was no way in hell she could understand what the hell he wrote.

" What about your sister? She could use a little distraction". She could, really. She clung onto her kids, like they would disappear too, or to make Hana forget about her father, "Sleeping", but Rin hadn't seen her out of the clan compound in over a month. Rin could only hope it was another phase to recovery.

Rin and Kurenai decided to talk it over during lunch and made their way to a familiar little ramen stand, which had a familiar blonde sitting at the counter, or two if you count the little blonde girl "sitting" next to him.

" Inoichi! I haven't seen you in a while", Rin exclaimed, causing said blonde to look up from his food.

" Ah! Rin-san. It has been a while hasn't it? Though, I heard of your team's domination in the chunin exams. Quite a feat to have all three promoted on your first try".

Rin rubbed the back of her head in embarassement. " Well, Asuma and I only gave them the tools. They're the ones that made it hapen...", Rin's attention was directed to the little blonde girl sitting/fidgeting in Ichiraku's one and only high chair.

" Ara? Is this Ino?¿ My god how she's grown!", Rin exclaimed in surprise as she examined her more closely. Rin's face became perplexed.

" She looks a little malnourished though. Are you feeding her properly?".

She didn't notice Inoichi's pause. " She can be a picky eater. I hope it's not a sign of being an obsessive dieter like her mother used to be", he joked. Rin looked back down at the baby, but her attention was on Naruto, who was currently walking around Rin, wrapping her up in the tether as Kurenai coaxed him to keep going. Rin put a stop to that.

" Hey Inoichi-san, you don't mind if I introduce them do you?"

5 minutes later found a chibified Rin happily playing referee between two blonde's playing fun games like bump of war, baby on the mountain, and capture the pacifier, where they were currently at a stalemate.

" Is she going to eat, or just sit on the floor?", Teuchi grumbled to himself, yet Kurenai chuckled nervously. Ayame was content with just watching the cute babies trying to steal eachother's pacifiers at the same time.

Inoichi looke at the scene with a hint of sadness.

" Awww, you're so cute together!", Rin chirped, much to Kurenai's surprise. She hadn't seen Rin that happy since Naruto learned how to walk.

" Hey Kaa-chan, maybe you should invite them to the party",

Rin perked up, " You're right! Hey Inoichi, we're having a small party for Naruto. Would you and your family like to come over to the house for it?".

Inoichi pondered this, " When is it going to be?".

"On his birthday, of course", Rin answered with a hint of incredulity.

" Uh, the tenth? Well, I was thinking of going to that Kyuubi Festival they've been talking about-"

" Really?", Rin cut off as she seemed to get closer.

" W-well, I was thinking of it-",

" Really?", she was standing next to him.

" W-well, ummm.."

" _Really?_", Rin was making the perfect impression of a ghost right in front of his face.

" Alright! Alright!, we'll be there", he conceded. Rin changed from gloom and doom to cheerful as a pixie in an instant.

" Awesome! Though I'll make the cake this time, so, no naked pictures on it"

Rin's faced screwed up in annoyance and embarassement when she heard three groans of disappointment. Rin then heard some grunts of frustration from Naruto and looked down to see Ino dogpiled on top of him as he struggled to get away.

" ~Aww! That's sooo cute!", Rin cooed and pulled out a camera.

*Flash*

Rin looked at the crowd singing happy birthday to the highly amazed infant looking at the cake with a burning candle on it. Kurenai was there, obviously, along with Inoichi and Ino. Rin couldn't remember ever meeting Inoichi's wife. Maybe she was a recluse. Oh well. The Hokage had popped in as well, probably thanking Kami for the excuse to get away from the office for a while.

Tsume didn't come, which upset Rin a bit seeing as how she could have used the distraction, but it was understandable. It took a while to recover from that kind of tragedy and betrayal.

Then, to her surprise, the "odd couple" showed upp. they had been on an A-rank for the past few months and had just gotten back a day ago. Asuma sent his regards via a COHERENT message, and she had shanghaied Tenzou to help eat cake.

After the song ended, she "helped" him blow out the candle and then his cake, which she didn't really need to seeing as he had no problem finding the piece of cake with his hands and shovelling it in his mouth. Neither did Ino, who didn't seem to have any trouble eating the cake except for how to aim for her mouth.

It was a lively scene that Rin had missed badly. It had been way too quiet the last few months, but she knew it wouldn't last. After the party, everybody would go back to their lives, and Kurenai would move out in a couple days.

" Oi! Kaa-chan. Why do you look so glum?", Hiroshi piped up. Rin tried to shrug it off.

" Nothing really. Just thinking how time flies"

Hiroshi nodded mock sagely and then perked up," I know what you need! GROUP HUG!"

The trio was on her faster than flies on shit.

" Oi! I don't need a hug! What are you, a bunch of special people?¡". The others looke on in amusement.

" Feel the love Kaa-chan!"

" I don't want to!"

"Kaa-chan!"

"Kaa-chan!"

"Kaa-cha!"

Everything paused, especially Rin, who snapped her attention to Naruto. His mouth opened again, " Kaa-cha!".

Rin's face blew up in excitement. He was supposed to start saying words a month ago but chalked up his lack of progress to his faster motor development. Not anymore apparently.

" His first word!", Rin practically danced around Naruto as he kept repeating the word at her.

'and he's associating it to me!'

Inoichi looked on jealously. He wished Ino's first word was that cute, instead of "Teme".

Hiruzen looked on with a mix of happiness and sadness. Next year, he would have to separate this duo. It was lucky enough nobody thought of the links between them, but some of Konoha was starting to think Naruto might be an illegitimate child between Rin and her late sensei. It was close enough for Hiruzen to get concerned. They weren't supposed to clue in on his heritage for, at least, another decade. The last war was still too fresh. The next abductor might not be as sloppy as the last. Still, he knew he would be arguing with Rin before the end. She had every right to.

Afterall, Naruto was HER child in her eyes.

He should have made Tenzo watch over him.

"Kaa-cha!"

"That's right Naru-chan! I'm your Kaa-chan!"

*Grab*

"Booboo!"

"Eh-heh...that's right Naru-chan...that's my booboo.."

*Timeskip* February

Rin sat out on the front steps of the house as she watched the rain drip off the overhang, a lit cigarette hanging from her lips.

She blamed Asuma's second hand smoke, but it was also from the stress. Two months left until the assignment ended...before...

Hiruzen was right, she had come into the office on the warpath with the goal of keeping Naruto. She left a defeated woman. It was like he had the argument memorized before she even got there.

It all boiled down to four very bitter truths.

One. She was single and couldn't watch him while earning money at the same time. She had countered she could get support from the Inuzuka, but that brought up his second truth.

Two. She was tied to the Inuzuka's. As much as he was loathe to admit it, Naruto had a bijuu sealed in him, which made him a jinchuruki, and the biggest one to boot. Tying him to any one of Konoha's clans would be seen as a powerplay by the others, something that would rile them up in conspiracy theories and discontent for decades to come. It was the reason he didn't let Uchiha Mikoto adopt him either, not counting the suspicions going around the Uchiha clan already. Them adopting Naruto would add an explosive note to the fire.

Three. The Hokage told Rin about the rumors he had heard, about Naruto being the love child between her and Minato. She tried to argue this but he wasn't the one that needed convincing, it was Konoha, and that was near impossible without treading on deep secrets, one of which was a major reason adoption was out of the question.

Four. Kushina was still alive. Rin was shocked silent with this, before scrambling for anwers as to why she wasn't watching over Naruto, which led her to see the woman in person. She wasn't very talkative. A coma tend to do that to a person. Of course Rin did a diagnostic on her, figuring out quickly that there wasn't anything she could do (or possibly "would" do) to wake her up. She tried countering that she might not wake up after so long, but coma patients were a touchy issue, especially ninjas. Some woke up in weeks, others in years. Very few patients in a ninja billage never woke up, and Kushina was more stubborn than the lot of them.

For now, it was pretty much a matter of when, not if. And when she did, she would wanter her son. The same son Rin wanted to adopt.

Would Rin give him up if she did? Would he accept her as his mother, or cling to Rin, shattering the woman's sure-to-be frail heart?

Hiruzen's mind was already made up. He was already setting up the orphanage that would receive Naruto and Rin hat to concede.

She took a drag off the cigarette as the downpour intensified. then she was a figure dashing through the rain towards her. It was only when the figure got to the overhang that Rin identified them as Tsume.

" You're smoking now? Talk about an ironic habit for a medic-nin to pick up", the woman prodded. Rin just shook her head as she continued with stress playing through her features.

This wasn't the time for laughing or jokes.

Tsume sad down next to her, " Sorry I missed his birthday", the elder sister apologized.

Rin shook her head, " It's alright, you were still recovering. You didn't miss too much...he said his first words though...he called me kaa-cha". Tsume smiled. It was alot better than Kiba's "hora" (here). Tsume blushed for the first time in years when he said it.

" Really? So then why do you look like you lost him?"

" I...am about to lose him. The mission duration was one and a half years...in April, it's done. He goes to an orphanage, I go back to Anbu, and the house gets vacated...like nothing ever happened", Rin's voice became shaky at the end.

" Didn't you try arguing about it?"

Rin nodded, " He knew I would. He had every reason ready and waiting. Short of kidnapping him and becoming a missing-nin, there's nothing I can do"

She had thought about it, which would never be uttered outside of her head. In the end, she'd be putting him in more danger for her own selfish reasons.

"...Is he at least going to a good orphanage?", Tsume asked.

Rin nodded, " The matron is one of the Hokage's personal friends".

" Then don't worry. He'll be fine, and in a decade or so, you can be his jounin-sensei or something. It's not like you'll never see him again. Until then, maybe you should start working on making your own pups".

That did it, as Rin's face turned cherry red, " I'm not ready for THAT type of motherhood!".

"Sure you are! Just poke a hole in one of Asuma's condoms next time he comes around".

"Tsume!"

Said woman chuckled, something she hadn't done in a while.

" Do you think he'll be alright?", Rin asked, her worry still there. Tsume nodded.

"The Hokage will watch over him. Otherwise you can kick his ass. Afterall, a mother's wrath trumps all".

" Kaa-chan! Kaa-chan!", the muffled shouts of a toddler came from inside the house.

" Ah, he's up again...probably tearing around the house", Rin predicted. Tsume looked at her with confusion.

" His room is on the second floor...", she tried clarifying.

Rin nodded tiredly, " AND there's a baby gate at the top of the stairs. He's smarter than he should be and his motor skills are advancing at an impressive rate. I'd be shocked if he was a civilian baby, but I have seen it in shinobi children before...not at this rate though. I guess I shouldn't be surprised though. BUT, it is making for an interesting new game of "Find Naruto"...Better go find him", Rin stated, flicking the cigarette all the way out into the road before they both went in.

Muffled sounds came from inside the house.

" So where's Naru-chan this time. Is he in...THE CUPBOARDS...nope...Is he in..THE FIREPLACE...nothankgod..."

" Here he is!"

"Where?"

" In a basket full of your dirty underwear!"

" Kaa-chan!"

"...Ah"

*April*

Rin pulled the last of her things out of her room and down near the door. It didn't take too long, seeing as she was the only one left, and sealing scrolls made it even easier. Naruto was playing downstairs with his stuffed animals in an empty living room. The Hokage was expecting them a little later that afternoon, to get Naruto situated into the orphanage.

The mission was over.

As much as Rin tried to prepare for this, the pit in her stomach wouldn't go away.

And why should it? She didn't want this. Instead of being under her care, Naruto would grow up in an orphanage. Her sensei's son...Kushina's son...

HER son.

They didn't raise him. She did. They just gave him life, then went into a coma or sealed a bijuu into him. She was the one who changed his diapers, fed him, helped him grow, took him on dangerous missions, and cherished every day that he was alive.

This was a horrible mission. To give her a baby to raise, only to take him away at the end. She could barely restrain her tears.

With one final check of the house, which just brought more depression, Rin made a clone and handed the scrolls to it to take to her apartment. Once the clone left, with the same expression Rin had, she picked up Naruto's things, and led him out the door with his little stuffed friends. They would go to wast here anyways, so might as well let him keep them.

With a final click of the lock, the house became as empty as it had been one and a half years ago.

The walk to the orphanage was painfully short. Before Rin knew it, she was walking up to the Hokage, and a woman that looked to be just as old as him. She and the tike stopped in front of the elderly pair.

"M-mission...completed Hokage-sama", Rin's voice trembled, which made the matron stare at Hiruzen, who was feeling like a heel all over again.

" Good work Rin. Rest assured that he will be in good hands here", he tired assuring the trembling woman, with the matron agreeing.

" I have been informed about him and hold no bias. He will be treated just like any other child here", the woman declared. Rin nodded hesitantly and crouched down to Naruto who was crashing the slug and the toad together like they were fighting.

" Hey Naru-chan...this is where we go our own separate ways...b-..be good for the caretaker alright, and I'll see you when you grow up a little".

" Kaa-chan"

Rin hugged the little toddler as a few loose tears rolled down her face, " That's right Naru-chan. I'm still your Kaa-chan...mmm...m-make me proud alr-ight? "

With that, she shakily handed him to the matron who smiled down at him.

" Come now Naru-chan. Let's introduce you to the other kids", she stated cheerfully as the two walked towards the orphanage and out of Rin's sight. Rin's shoulders trembled as he Hokage turned to her.

" I'll keep an eye on him as well, Rin, he'll be perfectly fine".

" It doesn't help me out though Hokage-sama", The jounin mumbled as she tried to keep from sobbing, before quickly walking away.

The Hokage sighed, where the hell was Asuma when you needed him? He was better at handling the girl than he was.

Inside, Naruto was already playing with another child, her hair up in brown pigtails. The matron smiled at the sight, ' I haven't seen Tenten that happy in a while'

Meanwhile, in a park, a female jounin cried to herself, feeling like she had lost a part of herself.


	13. Omake in between

I reject Kishimoto's stupid ideas and substitute my own.

Miyumi looked down at the table full of angry letters, from loan sharks of varying degree, with frustration and foreboding running through her twisted stomach.

It was starting again.

She wasn't a native of Hi no Kuni. She had latched onto her husband after promises of a better life. That was before she found out he had a terrible habit of spending other people's money. The same reason they had to move their little business from the capital in the first place.

And now he was doing it all over again?¡

She grabbed up the letters and marched to the bedroom. She found her husband, whistling a tune as he thumbed through money she knew wasn't his, looking to be getting ready for another night on the town.

"What are you doing? We just moved here and you're starting this again?¡", she uncharacteristically shouted, flapping the threats at him. He didn't even bother looking at her.

" Stop bitching at me. I've done it plenty of times before and they've never caught me. Why the fuck should this be any different?", he growled.

" We don't have the money to move again! And what about your daughter?¡ Do you think this lifestyle is good for either of us?¡"

She saw a flash of anger in his eyes and the next thing she knew, she was on the ground covering her right eye, which hurt like hell. She must be getting rusty.

She looked up at her husband in shock.

" DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT LIFESTYLE IS GOOD FOR YOU! IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, YOU'D STILL BE SPREADING YOUR LEGS FOR SAILORS IN THAT BORDELLO BACK IN MIZU!" He yelled as she started tearing up.

" And why the fuck would I care about that brat?¡ It probably isn't even mine you whore!", he spat before going back to what he was doing.

Angry tears rolled down Miyumi's cheeks as she bolted up and ran out of the room, slamming the door in the process.

"I can't live like this anymore! I have to leave!' Miyumi thought a few minutes later as she stuffed everything she could fit inside of a backpack, including money she had somehow managed to save, for her family's "bright future", and hide in a bible some missionary shoved in her face years ago. She pulled out the money and made to throw the book aside, but looked at it again and stuffed it into the top of the backpack.

Next, she grabbed up the baby basket and quickstepped it to her daughter's room. She set the basket down and threw in a few things before picking up the infant, much to her protest.

" SHUT THAT FUCKING BRAT UP!" she heard from the bedroom, which she glared at with anger as her tears redoubled. She held it in as she put the infant in her basket.

" Sshhsshhsshhh. It's alright Sakura. Come on, we're getting out of here", she whispered in as even of a voice as she could before picking up the backpack and the basket and slipping out the front door.

It was not half a block away that she was stopped by a group of men.

" You wouldn't be a Mrs. Arisaka would you?", the leader of the group of, obviously, Yakuza asked.

Miyumi surprisingly kept calm, " No, sorry. My name is Haruno. Haruno Miyumi Mr..."

He brushed off the inquiry, " Oh? And what were you doing at the Arisaka residence?", he asked accusingly. An idea popped into Miyumi's head.

She pulled out the bible she had stuffed into her backpack earlier as she put on her airheaded cheer, " Why, telling him about the good book of course...though, he could have been more subtle about his lack of interest", she whimpered as she rubbed at her black eye.

The whole gang gave her a look that said, " Oh, one of those", so she capitalised on it, putting her cheer back on.

" Would you, by any chance, be interested in learning-"

"**NO!**", the whole gang shoulted as they stalked off towards her former house.

" May the lord protect you on this beautiful day!". She received a bird for her troubles, but it suited her just fine as she picked up Sakura's basket and made her way in the opposite direction.

There were no pictures of her and her husband in the house. Something she was sad about prior, but would save her and Sakura's life now. She was sure they didn't go there to ask nicely for their money back.

In all, she was effectively divorced and homeless with a baby to care for. "Bright Future" indeed.

*timestumble*

Miyumi walked down the street looking, frustratingly, at a job listing with a hell of alot of X's through it. It had been a week since she had escaped from her home, and less than a week since they pulled her ex-husbands body out of a river, stripped of any organs of value. She told the KPF what she saw as she was leaving, and why she was leaving. They didn't bother her any further.

It still left her short a house, since her old one didn't belong to her anymore. It had already been sold and another family moved in before the KPF even found the body. Funny that her husband thought that the gangs in Konoha would just be street thugs instead of, oh, former ninja of varying degrees.

She managed to rent out a dirty little apartment in the seedier part of town, and was now in the process of trying to find a job while Sakura was being looked after with what little money she had left.

"Trying" was the word of the day it seemed.

She needed a job she could bring Sakura with until she reached a more appropriate age for daycare, which would cost alot of money as well. Seamstresses weren't in high demand in Konoha right now, and especially not with her "baggage". All of the other places she tried either wanted skills she didn't have, didn't pay enough, had a problem with having a baby on the premesis, or were looking for retired shinobi.

She hated to admit it, but it was the same problem she had back in Mizu no Kuni. Which is why it startled her when she found herself in Konoha's red light district. She involuntarily shuddered as images plagued her of some of the things she had to do in that bordello, just to be able to eat.

She didn't want to do that again. It almost turned her into a vegetable the first time...but...what else was there?

The fact that she was in a shinobi village might mean a little less fearing for her life considering the KPF presence...or she wouldn't have time because by the time she did start fearing for her life, she would already be dead...

Then Sakura's face flashed through Miyumi's mind...'She's worth it'

She wasn't going to give up her daughter just because of these events.

With a deep, resigned sigh, she made her way into familiar territory, the blinking neon lights and smell of cheap liquor along with a dozen other things, welcoming her back like a warden to a repeat offender.

Her stomach churned at the thought of using her body like that again.

She made her way towards one of the parlors, but before she got there, she spied a flashy sign.

"The..Kinky Kunai?¿", she mumbled to herself, before bodily turning around and walking towards it.

It didn't look like a bordello, there were no prostitutes displaying themselve like livestock.

It looked more like a strip club. In front' of it was a sign saying " Auditions Today". With nothing to lose, she walked into the establishment.

The owner gawked in awe at Miyumi as she danced with agility...and no clothes...around a brass pole to very sensual music. She should feel embarassement glaore, but her past made it all too easy. As for her agility, well, it's been a long while, but she knew she could do even better with a little practice. All too quickly, the song ended and she went into a more "dignified" position.

The owner was still in awe as he turned to a well dressed elderly man who was staring at her close mouthed and with wide eyed surprise.

" Wha'dya think pops?"

The elderly man turned to his, apparently, son.

" She made places hard...that have never been hard before", he replied in a dry, whispy voice.

That seemed to do it for the owner, who jumped up while clapping his hands, " You're perfect! When can you start?"

" Um, as soon as an issue is overcome. I have a month old daughter that can't go to a daycare yet-"

" Nodda problem! The tyke can hang with the other girls while you're on stage. Heck, most of 'em are mothers too, and you'll be working at night so plenny of free time during the day!"

Miyumi was elated as she clapped her hands in front of her in cheer, squishing her assests, " Thank you so much! I can start whenever you want me to!", she cried.

" Furged aboud id. Ya sdard dommorrow nighd ad sebem bm", he answered as both him and his father stuffed tissue up their noses.

" Haaaii!"

*Timefuck*

It has been three months since Miyumi started her job at the Kinky Kunai, and she had to say, in a nutshell, people payed WAY more to be teased, than they did to actually get their rocks off. Maybe it was the atmosphere or something, but she made more money in three months, than she ever did in the two years she worked at the bordello.

Hell, the closest thing she had to sexual contact was lap dances, or performing with another girl. The later took some getting used to, but she probably wouldn't be doing the "XXX performances", any time soon, despite how comfortable she might be with her coworkers.

Her coworkers. They were a godsend, especially with keeping an eye on Sakura. Though, Miyumi knew she wouldn't get much sleep with all the hustle and bustle of the dressing rooms. Thankfully, the little girl fixed that herself by adjusting her habits to the shight shift, and was now getting to a point that she would be able to be put in a daycare or- DAMMIT *SMACK*

Miyuki killed another roach in their apartment. True, she had the money to get another one, but she figured by sometime next year, she would have enough to buy a small house, and she wanted a house. She wanted to own a home free and clear, something she couldn't even do with that scum of a husband. The only good thing he gave her was Sakura, which WAS his. Her emerald green eyes were all the proof she needed of that. With grumblings of the past and hopes for the future, Miyumi unrolled her futon to sleep.

*May of next year*

Miyumi trodded down the road with Sakura's stroller. All the houses she had looked at were either too far away from her work, too expensive, or required more renovation than she had money to do it with. Hell, the last house she looked at, it seemed like the ceilings were smiling at her, a sign of outdated building codes and shoddy construction.

She wasn't much of a fan for having trees growing out of her house either, so the ones closer to the Hokage Tower were out, nevermind the price of most of them.

She was so lost in thought, she bumped Sakura's stroller into a "House for Sale" sign. She looked up at the property and her eyes lit up. Looking at the sign again, she saw it was "open house", so she did just that.

She was giddy as a schoolgirl when she saw the first floor alone, it even had a laundry room! Finding the stairs, she manually carried Sakura as she made her way up to the second floor.

She first found the bathroom, which was more extravagant than any of her old ones. A tiled shower stall was sunken into the right wall along with the vanity, and along the left wall was a jacuzzi tub. ' Score!'

Then she found the room that would be perfect for Sakura's room, since it seemed to be a bay room before, if the little happy frogs and slugs were anything to go by. 'Frogs and Slugs? Mamayo.'

"This would be perfect for your room, don't you think Sakura?"

" Kaa-san!", the little pinkette exlaimed happily. At least her first word was more appropriate than some of the others she picked up from the girls.

"Me too! Now, let's go find Kaa-san's room", she talked to the toddler as she left the room and continued her tour. When she got to the master bedroom, her face took on a look of confusion and surprise. " Yare, yare. What a thing to have in a family home", she compained lightly, looking at the large red bed shaped like a heart. Though, she guessed she couldn't complain. All she had was a roach infested futon that would never go near this house.

"Ooh, the room even has a closet!"

*Open*

*Close*

Miyumi was cherry red. " I-I guess I could use some of the outfits for work". What an optimistic woman.

Going downstairs, she found an information pamphlet and looked at the price.

Her eyes went wide before she shrieked in glee.

" Welcome to our new home Sakura-chan!"

*Note*

I took one look at Sakura's "parents" from "Road to Ninja" and said fuck no. Doesn't it seem like Kishimoto is trying to tie every little loose end, that fic writers use, up? Even if it's with the ugliest knot ever?

Therefore I reject Kishimoto's idea for Sakura's parents, especially since it's not in the main story anyways.

*Omake 2* * June*

Rin looked down at the syringe full of luminescent blue liquid.

It had been two months since she came off the assignment, and when everything hit her like a ton of bricks.

Without Naruto as a major distraction, all the loss and disappointment came back to her. She was faring worse than when she watched Obito die in front of her as she pulled out his gift to Kakashi...a gift he should have never received.

She found herself opening a box she hadn't in years...her mind hazed as she looked down at the contents. She should have thrown it all away after what happened last time...but she could never bring herself to.

She pulled out a belt that she had used many times before. She examined it before hesitantly wrapping it around the top of her arm before pulling it tight.

She picked up the syringe. Even after how many years, the luminous liquid never lost it's venom. She put the needle to an exposed vein-

" Rin-chan, why are you wearing sunglasses?"

She stopped and stared wideyed as a dead voice echoed in her ears, then a flood of memories came back to her.

Minato looked down at her with a questioning stare after asking that. Rin fidgeted under it.

" I..figured I'd try a new style. Maybe they might help me counter genjutsu too"

It was a lie. Tsukiyomi's telltale sign of a heavy user was their retinas glowed from it concentrating into their eyes. Pull off the sunglasses and shade her eyes and he'd know something was up.

Minato looked at her with apprehension. Kakashi didn't even look at her, too busy training as he pushed his last teammate farther and farther from him.

" Ookay. It's kinda sad though. Nobody gets to see your pretty eyes anymore", he teased, which caused Rin to blush.

"I-it's not like I'm going to wear them forever". When the hell could she take them off? To let it fade would mean withdrawl. She felt it once and never wanted to feel it again.

" Minato-kun!", a voice called as a redhead ran across the field. Minato turned happily towards his fiance.

" Ah, Kushi-chan! What brings you out here-ack!", he yelped as said woman healocked him.

" What did I say about calling me that in public dattebane!", Kushina complained as she manhandled her fiance. Rin looked on sadly at the happy couple. Could she have had the same thing...if...

" Ara? What's with the freaky sunglasses Rin-chan?", the redhead looked quizically at Rin, an inch from her face. Rin jumped from the close proximity.

" Uh! Just a new style! I-I remember I have to go do something. I'll see you later sensei!", she jumbled out as she ran from the training field, the two looking on at her in worry. If she had stayed, she would have heard Kushina's question to Minato. " Why were her eyes glowing 'ttebane?"

She came back to reality for only a second to look at the needle pointing at her arm before more memories came back, ones she didn't even remember.

She sat in her apartment, having just gotten back from Hotaru. She looked down at the three full syringes. She only needed two. She needed to reach it. She wanted to forget.

She pulled the tourniquet tight and injected the first syringe with a shudder of pleasure before quickly picking up the next one. With a little hesitance, she shot the next one in and gasped as it flowed through her veins.

The world quickly changed. The roof of her apartment disappeared, showing the night sky before her body became weightless and she started lifting up into the air, leaving her apartment, It was after she had cleared the village skyline that she felt a pull and started rising into the sky rapidly, the night air rushing past her face as she used her limbs to shift and dance in the wind. She played with the clouds as she passed through them and on into the sky.

In no time, the glowing blue atmosphere of the earth left her as she marveled at the stars, so beautiful without the air to hide them. She was in ecstacy.

And there it was. The most beautiful thing she had ever seen, more beautiful than anything she could find on earth. Happiness and peace seemed to radiate from it, along with the feelings of precious people long passed. She reached for it. She was so close. She needed to feel that forever.

But she lost momentum. Her ecstacy turned to frustration and desperation as she strained to reach it. But she started falling back to earth.

Something wasn't right. She never fell this fast before. She was hurtling towards the earth at terminal velocity. Fear took place of everything as she hurtled towards her apartment where she could see...herself?¡

Rin shot up from her...crash?...as she gave off a blood curdling scream and started thrashing on the floor of her apartment from the overdose, searing pain riddling her spasming body.

" Rin!", she remembered hearing as the door was smashed open, her sensei and...was that Asuma?...rushing in.

" God Kushina, when you think something's wrong, do you have to be so damn right?", Minato said to himself as he checked on her.

" What's wrong with her?", Asuma shouted over Rin's gutteral cries.

" We need to get her to the hospital! Grab her arms, we'll have to carry her!". Asuma did just that and they started rushing her to the hospital before one of her legs got loose and started thrashing, kicking Minato right in the face.

" Fuck!", he grabbed at his nose as blood started running down his face.

" Minato-san, I can't hold her myself!", Asuma shouted as Rin continued thrashing and screaming. Minato reset his broken nose and grabbed Rin's legs again before hiking it all the way to the hopital.

Little changed at the hospital.

" What's happening to her?", Kushina looked at her worriedly as two doctors attempted to diagnose her and three nurses barely held her down. Another doctor worked on Minato's broken nose.

" It's obviously a Tsukiyomi overdose, judging by the eyes!", the doctor shouted over Rin's cries before backing away and closer to the two adults.

" It's still coursing through her and wreaking havoc on her body, and there's little we can do for her. We've never had any success with patients surviving Tsukiyomi overdoses, the damage it causes is beyond our expertise. At best, she has about 24 hours before her body just shuts down".

All she remembers is Kushina gasping and a resolute look on Minato's face before he walked out.

The next thing she remembered was Tsume looking down at her, tears running down her face. It was the first time Rin had ever seen her cry. Kushina sat next to the bed as Tsume cried.

" Did you hear me? You better get well or...or...Why the hell did you do this?¡ You're my sister dammit! You're...you're supposed to tell me when something's wrong! I-"

Tsume stopped when yelling from a woman could be heard, and rumbles, then a no bullshit Minato.

" LISTEN! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING PROBLEMS WITH THE VILLAGE AND I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH YOUR PIGHEADEDNESS. I CARE ABOUT ONE OF MY STUDENTS NOT DYING! YOU EITHER HELP HER, OR I'LL GIFTWRAP YOU AND LEAVE YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF IWA!"

" ...You wouldn't dare-"

" Try me!"

"...Fine! I'll fix the brat!"

The door slammed open. Kushina and Tsume looked wideeyed as a blonde woman barged into the room, a teenage girl with black hair scurrying behind her.

"So what is it? She push herself too far and get crip-"

Tsunade took one look at Rin and her mouth dropped open.

" Holy shit!", she yelled as she rushed at the girl. What? Wasn't it common for blood to be seeping out of the eyes, ears, and noses of her patients?

Tsunade was diagnosing Rin a second later, " What the hell did this to her?", she asked not so quietly.

" Tsukiyomi overdose", Minato supplied as he walked in. Tsunade actually cringed.

" You just had to give me a hard case didn't you"

" What's Tsukiyomi, Shishou?", the, apparently, apprentice asked.

" A "hallucinogenic" drug that she shouldn't have been able to find in Hi no Kuni, let alone Konoha. I use the word hallucinogenic lightly because noone knows what the hell it actually is. There have been cases of it causing everything from intense sexual pleasure, all the way to out of body experiences. The end result is usually death. Withdrawl can be just as bad as an overdose too."

"Can you save her?", Tsume looked at her pleadingly. Tsunade pursed her lips as she looked at the occupants of the room, all looking at her with the same look.

" Rrrmmm. I'm not sure...but I guess I can give it a shot since I'm already here!", she shot accusingly at Minato. Count on him to leave a Hiraishin seal on her jacket. It took him all of two seconds to find her and pull her back to Konoha.

" I'm compensating you, and you don't even have to leave the hospital if you don't want to. I just want her well.", Minato stated as he locked a determined gaze right back at Tsunade. He was paying for all her debts afterall.

" ...Then I guess I can stomach the place for a while. Shizune! You're gonna be the second doctor, I need one more, now!".

" On it", Minato stated as he left the room.

" First, we gotta put her under", was the last thing she heard as a green, glowing finger, tapped her temple.

Rin pulled the needle shakily away from her arm and up in front of her face to look at the luminescent fluid.

She remembered voices.

" I was wondering why I heard rumors of you kidnapping Tsunade"

" It was the only choice I had. None of the doctors here could help her"

" ...Is she going to make it?"

" We have to get through the withdrawl symptoms first before-"

" Minato-kun! She's waking up 'ttebane!", she heard right beside her.

Her eyes felt like sandpaper as she opened them to see Kushina, Minato, and Jiraiya leaning over her.

" How ya feeling kid?", the white haired sanin asked.

" I-I ffeel terr-rible...an-d cold-d", she answered as she registered that she was shaking like a leaf.

" At least you're still alive...", Minato sighed before giving her a hard stare. She felt colder.

" Why would you get into something like that?¡ I thought you were better than that Rin!".

" Minato! She's still recovering!", Kushina reprimanded him but he shook his head.

" It could have killed her Kushina! It still could! Why would she risk her life for some drug trip?"

"I...I...I wanted to forget", Rin replied as tears washed dried blood out of her ducts. It felt like her heart was going a mile a minute. She could hear it in her ears.

"Forget what?", Jiraiya asked in curiosity.

" ..O...obi-t-to", she cried.

The whole room grew quiet, only leaving the rapidly beeping EKG. Minato lost his fire and Kushina became sullen.

" A bad way to cope with it don't you think? You could die...or...is that what you want?", Jiraiya asked seriously causing Rin to look at his fearfully. Her ears felt like they WERE her heart.

" N-no...no...I don't want to die. I don't want to die! I...I don't feel good", Rin cried out before her face looked weary.

" Do you need some water Rin?", Kushina asked in worry.

"n-no...I just...I..", she trailed off as her head grew hazy again. At least the pounding in her ears went away...leaving only the droning screech of the machine hooked up to her heart as she fell backwards onto her pillow.

Tsunade busted into the room as the adults around her paniced.

" She's going into cardiac arrest! Clear the bed!".

Her bleary eyes gave her one last look of a fearful Minato and Kushina before they rolled into her head.

Her memories were broken.

Cold

Screaming

Tears

Pain

Fear

Until another hit her

"How is she? Is she getting better?"

" How is she? She should have been dead. No, she should have been dead multiple times Minato! I don't know whether she's getting better or not. After I fix one problem, another comes up. Her lungs have failed multiple times, her heart has completely stopped 6 different times, her muscle spasms have been a constant, and numerous other organs shut down and had to be revived. It's like playing whack-a-mole!"

" But she's still alive. Though...why is she in a straightjacket and blindfolded?"

" *Sigh* A new problem. It seems the concentration of Tsukiyomi is leaving her eyes, and in the process, causing extreme light sensitivity even through the eyelids. In her less than lucid state, she screamed her head off as she tried to gouge her eyes out."

Rin hiccupped a few times before she cried to herself.

" Crap, is she awake?"

" It looks like it. Don't pressure her, don't confront her, don't get her excited", Tsunade warned Minato in a harsh mumble, hoping Rin couldn't hear her.

She could. Hell, she could hear the fly buzzing around the room.

" Hey Ri-", Tsunade slapped her hand across Minato's mouth after Rin's violent flinch to his voice.

She felt something stuffed in her ears a moment later.

" Is that better?", she heard, muffled to a normal volume with the earplugs.

" W-why am I so fucked up?", she sobbed.

" You're not fucked up. You...just picked a really bad drug to get into. You're gonna make it through this", she heard as she felt arms wrap around her in a hug.

"I...I..I'm so sorry sensei", she sobbed into his shoulder, her blindfold catching the tears.

" Minato, calm her down. Her heartbeat is syrocketing".

" Rin, you don't need to apologize, just calm down. I want you to get better, not worse"

"I..I can't".

" Alright kid, I'm putting you under. I'm not restarting your heart AGAIN", she heard as she felt another tap to her temple.

Time passed

The spasms kept her awake, along with the waves of pain rolling across her body.

More emotions, more voices, more lapses in time. How long had she been in this damn hospital?

" Rin!"

"W-wha-"

" Sshhh. Don't talk, just listen.", it was Tsunade. She nodded shakily.

" I don't know if you know this with how sketchy your conciousness is, but you've been in the hospital for two months now and have shown very little progress"

Rin shook more than she usually did as the thought of being there so long without actually getting better assaulted her mind.

" Stop! You're not going to make it any better by getting shooken up. Now, I've been studying Tsukiyomi, and figured out a way to counter it. It's another drug, which is why your idiot sensei so harshly refused to try it, which is also why it's now very early morning, and I'm giving you the option of taking it or not, without Minato around to stop me".

" W-what will it d-do?"

" Basically burn whatever Tsukiyomi is left out of your system, allowing me to heal you permanently and get you to actually recovering".

Rin shook in her cold state as she thought about it with whatever she had left up there. It only took a minute for her to decide.

" G-give it t-to me", Rin pleaded.

" I have to warn you, It could react badly and kill you-"

" I d-don't care. If-f there's a-a chan-ce, I'll t-take it."

Silence met her until she heard Tsunade opening a vial and dropping a single pill into her hand.

" Open your mouth", Tsunade ordered. Rin had to figure out how to again.

She felt a pill placed on her tounge.

" Chew it and swallow"

Rin did as told, and felt Tsunade pull off the EKG pad and place it on herself so quickly, it never skipped a beat.

Rin had only seconds to wonder why before burning erupted through her body, then a siezure.

" Kami, I hope this works", was all Rin heard before everything became incoherent.

More static, broken memories, then calm, a shudder every now and then. Then her eye was opened and another stared back at her.

"Wh...what happened", she asked tiredly.

Tsunade smiled as the girl followed her finger. " It worked. After your siezure stopped, your symptoms started disappearing...you're idiot sensei can be scary though. Nearly made me crap myself when he found out", she complained as she scrunched up her nose.

" h-hahah", Rin weakly laughed, trying to imagine the visage.

" There's a sure sign of recovery", she heard behind Tsunade. Both looked at the white haired pervert who was leaning against the wall.

" Can't I get rid of you for a few damn minutes?¡", Tsunade complained.

" Nope. Plus I figured I'd be around for her since Minato can't that much anymore".

" Where..is he?", Rin asked tiredly.

" The Great and Powerful Yondaime is stuck in his office doing paperwork...or screwing his fiance *BAM* OWWWWW!", he cried out as Tsunade whacked him.

" Show some damn manners!"

" Oi! You're one to talk, sailor mouth!"

" Better than spewing something perverted every sentence!"

" You two...bicker like an old...married couple", Rin mumbled, causing them to gawk at her in appaul before she drawled on, " so...I missed his inaguration?"

" Yeah...you have been out for a few weeks after all. You didn't miss much", Jiraiya supplied, which caused Tsunade to snort.

" Just you doing a victory dance behind him and flicking the crowd off while he gave his speech", she accused, which did nothing to the Super Pervert.

" Meh, they had it coming"

Tsunade just sighed in annoyance, which let her turn her attention to Rin, and catch her before she fell trying to stand up.

" Whoa whoa whoa, you aren't ready for that just yet. You've been in that bed for almost 3 months afterall, let alone how bad you still look"

" How...bad I look?", she mumbled in confusion as she was put back in bed..

Jiraiya pulled a mirror off the wall and pointed it at her. She shuddered at what she saw. Dark circles, sunken cheeks, sickly pale skin. What used to be a healthy looking Rin now looked like one that had gone through the plague. She turned her head away from the mirror and Jiraiya got the hint as he pulled away the mirror and reassured her.

"You're getting better, that's all that counts. We'll have you up in no time now that you're not litterally falling apart-"

"*Flash* Is it true?¡", a man in an ugly, yet, familiar hat shouted as he dropped two large sacks on the ground.

"Ow!", both sacks complained before jumping up and beating on the man with the ugly hat.

" We're not some baggage for you to haul somewhere Minato!", the Kushina formerly known as sack yelled as she kicked him once more for good measure.

" Honestly, I have legs you know. I don't need your fancy ass jutsu to get here a few minutes faster than I could have ran!", the second sack complained as she readjusted her clothes. Ah, it was Tsume.

When both women saw Rin, their faces washed over with relief and joy.

" Nee-chan! You're looking better than you have in months!"

" H-heh...but I...look like a zombie", Rin mumbled. Tsume snickered, finally relieved that she woulsn't have to attend another funeral so close after her father's.

" That's alright. We just need to feed you more brains. We'd feed you Minato's but you'd probably starve to death".

"Oi! Those brains are leading this village!", Minato complained as he got up.

" Which is why we're all doomed", Kushina fired back.

" Oh really, then someone else want the job of endless paperwork and cramps?"

A cricket chirped

" Anyways, in a day or so, we can start rehabilitation finally. I give you another month before you're back up to snuff", Tsunade distracted. Rin opened her mouth to speak but Tsume cut her off.

" After which, you're moving back to the compound", Tsume added with finality in her voice.

" I...am?"

" Damn straight you are. AND, you're going to Inoichi for help with your inner demons, like you should have". Rin knew she couldn't argue with her. What she had gone through was scarier than the war and the Kyuubi attack combined.

" So why am I even contemplating using it again?", she asked herself as the image of smiling faces faded from her view, leaving her looking at that glowing blue syringe.

"Afterall, you still have people that care about you, people that need you.", Tsume's voice echoed in her mind.

" What the hell am I doing?", she asked as anger boiled up in her, the syringe shaking in front of her, looking ready to crack under the tension. It never had time to.

" WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?¡", she roared as she threw the syringe at the wall with all her force, shattering upon impact and leaving glowing blue liquid all over the area.

"AAAARRRGGHH!¡", she bellowed as she ripped the belt off her arm and ripped it in half, then spied the box. With a look of rage, she grabbed it up none-too-gently, marched out onto the walkway of her floor, threw the box into the air, and blasted it into molten glass and ash with a karyu endan pointed into the sky.

30 seconds later found Dragon on the same balcony, staring down at Rin, who was sitting along the wall smoking, fresh tears rolling down her face.

" Are you alright?"

She looked up at him slowly.

" I will be. Just needed to figure out how", she repied cryptically.

"...do I even want to know?",

That made Rin laugh to herself.

" You don't need to. I'll be there to kick you in the ass if you do"

"Umm...ok"

"So...I start back up at the end of the week", she changed the subject.

" Yup. It'll be nice not having to train FNGs because the squad is two short"

" Two short?¿"

" Kakashi transfered to another squad to become a captain"

"...Good...can't say I want to work with him anymore anyways"

" ...are you sure you'll be alright?"

" Of course I will...I have to make Anbu Captain afterall", she answered with a smirk.

" Oi, they don't make medics, captains", He wanted that promotion.

Rin got up, " Well, I guess it's a good thing I can't be classified as just a medic anymore, now isn't it? Besides-"

Headlock.

" Like I'd ever let my lacky become my captain!", Rin exclaimed as Dragon flailed around under Rin's noogie.

" Oi OI OI! Abuse of an on-duty Anbu!"

" You're not on duty! Afterall we're going drinking!"

" I can't drink in uniform!"

" Don't worry, I'll cover for you. I'm your captain afterall"

" So unfair"

*Omake 3*

Sakaki flinched, her broken wrist throbbing from the simple effort of trying to light a fire. She had decided to make camp as soon as the adrenaline and shock wore off. The chunin knew that if she was feeling this bad, her two remaining students had to feel much worse.

She looked up at them to see them barely restraining their tears, much as she was doing. Sakaki dared any ninja to feel less in such a situation.

The mission was simple, and eerily familiar. Clear out a bandit camp with possible nukenin members. The same type of mission Team 12 got.

Bandit camps were usually looked over. It was only when they started getting too comfortable, too powerful, or too daring that requests were sent in to Konoha. Which is why when Team 16, during initial reconaisance, saw what they did to their prisoners, knew they'd do the same to them if they were caught.

They were spotted.

Intercepted as they ran

Fought like they were possesed

It was only when Sakaki's third student suicide bombed the majority of the hoarde, that they stood a chance. With the last of them shocked from the blast, and none of the Nuke-nin alive, they slaughtered the rest.

They didn't even bother cleaning the camp for anything of value, just setting it on fire and numbly walking back to Konoha.

And here they were.

Where Mugen wasn't

" I can't do this anymore!", her female "student" bawled out as she stopped trying to hold it in.

Sakaki couldn't fault her. She couldn't either. She was geared towards military intelligence and logistics, not front line combat. Her sealing skills and basic weapons training were the only things giving her any teeth in a fight. Sealing skills she taught to Mugen...and he made a giant explosive tag with them...

She had no desire to be a jounin, let alone a jounin sensei. By now, she figured she'd be married and working on kids...

"...kids", Sakaki mumbled, then looked to her male student, who was trying to console the crying girl.

The Hokage wouldn't send out pregnant kunoichi. They were "building" his future forces.

"...I have an idea", she stated, which caused her two students to look at her.

*2 hours later*

Sakaki grunted as she rode the shaft going in and out of her pussy.

There was so much wrongness with having sex with a boy half her age, but he was the only one available.

" S-sensei. How much longer do I have to hold myself upside down?", her female student asked, nervously standing on her head buck naked, a whitish fluid dripping from her folds and down her stomach.

" Un-guh..until I saY s-s-soUGH..ahaaagh!", she strained to get out as she kep bounching up and down.

" S-sensei. I'm g-gonna cum!"

" Give it to me. Shoot it all inside of me!"

Both screamed in climax as Sakaki felt the hot fluid shoot into her in pulses before the body under her finally relaxed into a fit of panting.

* A week and a half later*

Hiruzen looked at the report with a quirked eyebrow, then up to the fidgeting team, then back at the report, then back up to the fidgeting team.

" While the loss of your student is heartbreaking...your...grieving...is kind of irresponsible. Especially with a genin who is supposed to be your own student".

" My deepest apologies Hokage-sama. The grief overshadowed my better judgement"

" So you had a threesome"

" P-pretty much Hokage-sama...I..don't remember using protection either", she stated nervously as she shied away from his gaze with a blush. Hiruzen looked to the female genin to see her blush like a tomato and shy away as well, confirming she probably didn't either. The male genin was just blushing.

"...Oh well. You picked a perfect time to do it regardless"

All three looked directly at him.

" **Eh?**"

" Indeed. While you were away, I managed to get reinforcements from the Daimiyo and the Southern Fire Temple, so all genin teams are being recalled for "The four R's"

"The...four R's?", Sakaki asked incredulously.

" Rest, Recovery, Reevaluation, and Reassignment. All the genin teams are going through it, and their chunin leaders reinstated into their old positions, while the genin are being put into proper teams with proper senseis. D ranks are also being taken again..which I think you'll be seeing alot of"

They were all pale.

"Wh-why do you say that Hokage-sama?"

" Why, if your pregnant, you'll still need to bring in a paycheck. You can't expect the father of your babies to provide everything for the both of you. Speaking of which, I wouldn't want to break you three up, so I won't change the team...though, I will be giving all of you a jounin sensei after you return to full duty"

"B-but I'm a-"

" Genin, but your new jounin sensei will whip you back into a chunin, something I've been doing alot with the desk ninja around here, on the advice of one of my trusted Anbu.", Sarutobi said with a smirk.

Sakaki gawked at Hiruzen. She was demoted? She was being reassigned? She was...

"The hospital is expecting you two for your pregnancy tests. Look at the bright side, you'll be eligible for the repopulation incentives if you are. I hear they're giving away whole houses."

Sakaki deflated, " Hai..Hokage-sama", she replied as she ushered her team...fellow genin out of the room. Before she left-

" Sakaki-san"

She turned to the Hokage.

" The vest"

She deflated more as she took off her flack jacket and handed it to the Hokage.

" I'll hold onto it for you. Until then, think of it as punishment for thinking up such a cockamaimy idea"

She flinched before she covered.

" Hahaha! I don't know what you're talking about Hokage-sama! Igottagotothehospitalbye!", she blurbed as she ran out of the room.

Hiruzen harumphed as he smirked at the dust trail. ' Did she think she was the first to think of it?' he thought to himself. Hell, a quarter of his female Anbu thought of that a month ago. ' Oh well...feel sorry for the male on the team though...or should I?'

* An hour later*

Both Sakaki and her female...teammate...walked out of the doctors office numbly, the male genin already knowing why.

Both looked at him before their faces put on a look of determination.

" **Take responsibility**"

And there it was.

* Omake 4*

Rin rolled the white thighhighs up her legs before slipping on the chunky heel mary janes that went with them. Next she wrapped her breasts into a lacy white bra with a ribbon in the middle. Finally, she pulled her hair up into two pigtails on the sides of her head. That was all she wore.

She smirked at herself in the mirror before walking out of the bathroom and into her bedroom where...a giant brown teddy bear was. It was an apology gift for having to postpone his visit for another month.

Rin made a modification. Namely the pink dildo attached between it's legs.

She grabbed up her camera and put it on it's tripod. With a few adjustments, she put it on a repeat timer and walked over to the bed.

First she did a couple poses with her best "innocent eyes", then crawled over the bed, seductively, towards the giant bear. She grabbed the phalus and stroked it tenderly before putting it to her mouth and sensually licking the tip. After a few minutes, she wrapped her lips around it and pushed down the shaft taking the whole 9 inches into her mouth (the benefits of being a medic). She started bobbing up and down on it as she simultaneously started rubbing her silky smooth folds in excitement.

After thouroughly lubricating the shaft in her saliva, she pulled off of it with a *pop* and grinned mishcheviously at the camera as it clicked again. She got up and straddled the bear like she was giving it a hug, all the while rubbing her pussy on the top of the shaft as she shuddered and squeaked, her wet tunnel lubricating it even more. Not being able to hold out anymore, she reached down and positioned the dildo at her entrance before hugging the bear again and lowering herself onto the shaft with a gasp of delight.

She got used to the invader before she started riding it, smoothly at first, before she wrapped her legs completely around it and started going full force. Rin grunted and moaned as the pink dildo massaged and stirred up all the right places. After a while, the bear tipped over, taking Rin with it, finding herself riding it horizontally. She kept going until she felt the dam start to crack. She got up into a cowgirl positioin and continued to pump as her cries became desperate. With a few final pumps, her head whipped up and she cried to the heavens as the dam broke, rocking her into a large orgasm. After a handfull of seconds and a few shudders, she fell on top of the bear, the dildo still in her.

* A few days later*

"Uh oh"

Kitane looked at Asuma curiously.

" What's the matter?"

" I got a reply back from my girlfriend after telling her I was going to be a month late", he answered looking at the envelope with trepidation.

Kitane had the decency to cringe. That was never a thing to look forward to.

With a bit of hesitation, Asuma finally opened up the letter.

_I can handle it...I just wonder if you can_

Asuma quirked an eyebrow at the short message until he spied the storage seal on the bottom. With some chakra, it popped to reveal...a stack of pictures.

Asuma looked at the first one and his eyes widened, his cigarette hanging in his mouth, forgotten, as he shuffled through through the pictures.

He didn't even notice Kitane crane his neck over to see what he was looking through and going wideeyed as well...or the rest of the male 12 guardians as well.

He mindlessly went through the stack three times before he finally stopped and stared off into space.

Kitane asked the million dollar question.

" What the hell are you doing here again?"

Spelling and grammar may suck, but it's better than alot of the stories on here. Sorry, but it is, and not just the spelling and grammar.

Well...shit

*Omake 5*

A raven haired woman tugged at her jounin uniform as she walked down the road. It felt so damn strange to be wearing it after years of inactivity.

Why was she taking a genin team again?

Oh, right. Probably had to do with why almost everyone was eyeing her with suspicion and wariness. Because the rest of the village thought her clan had a hand in the Kyuubi attack, that they CAUSED it to attack.

What utter nonsense. Only Madara had ever shown the ability to control the Kyuubi, and the older generation in the clan knew how he did it. But the price for such power was too great. Too barbaric. This was not the feudal era, the Uchiha didn't need that kind of power. Hell, most Uchiha never needed the Sharingan at all, never getting into the situation where it activated.

And Yet, the rumors persisted, and then turned into suspicion, caution, accusation, and isolation. The Uchiha found the village they helped found and defend keeping them at arms length. Civilians were shopping in the Uchiha district less and less, their children being isolated from non clan children, friends distancing themselves from fellow friend belonging to the clan. She even found herself with less and less fellow mothers talking to her.

Her husband's first idea to improve relations was to start proactively training more genin teams, the clan having few actual jounin senseis throughout the history of Konoha. And who better to be the spearhead of this than his conveniently jounin wife?

His next great idea was to send their son, along with others, to the academy. He was only 4 for heaven's sake!

Mikoto sighed. She could only hope she could get through with this and save her second son from her husband's idiotic plans.

Sooner than she thought...or hoped..she came across the field with her team in it.

She didn't know who she was getting. The Hokage only said he had the "perfect team in mind", while smiling at her and giving her a training field and a time.

" I had nothing to do with Asuma-sensei leaving us! Maybe it was your over-the-top flirting?"

" My flirting isn't over-the-top! It's a perfect balance between cute and sexy!"

"...More like a cat in heat bugging it's owner!"

" TEME!"

"GAH! GET OFF ME!"

Ooooh boy...they're already fighting...or maybe that was common. The Hokage was kind enough to AT LEAST tell her it wasn't a fresh team. Apparently one even passed the chunin exams and went on to other things.

Alright, time to make her presence known.

She stuck her index and thumb into her mouth and gave off a loud whistle, causing the two to stop and stare.

Okay, she had a purple haired girl, who could be no more than 10, on top of, and stretching the mouth of...a Hyuga?

Oh, this was great. An Uchiha, namely the wife of the clan head, training a Hyuga. Even if he was a branch member, there was going to be some gnashing of teeth when this got out.

It was an interesting side note that this one apparently liked his hair short, something she didn't see much from the Hyuga. He looked kinda cute that way.

Their last member was an Aburame, if the sunglasses and high collar jacket were anything to go by. Looked pretty green too.

" Alright, get away from eachother and line up", she ordered as she crossed her arms.

Once they did, she moved on.

"I'm Uchiha Mikoto. I will be your jounin sensei until a time when you become chunin. First off, I want your names", she said while pointing to the shortest of the three.

"Uzuki Yugao"

"Hyuga Kouta"

"Aburame Bob"

"B-bob?"

"Bob"

"...okay", Mikoto sweatdropped. What a strange name. Kouta's hand went up as he looked at her with confusion.

"Err, yes?"

"Aren't you the wife of the Uchiha clan head?", he asked incredulously.

"Y-yes. Yes I am", she answered hesitantly.

Yugao went next.

"Why are you taking on a team then? Shouldn't you be helping run the clan or something?"

"Heh...sometimes I ask myself the same question", she mumbled, yet they heard her.

Apparently it was Bob's turn.

"Is this a PR stunt?-"

"-Anyways! Next I want to see what your capable...of?", Kouta looked like he was off in lala land, not even looking at her face...

'Masaka!'

Kouta mentally giggled. Who cared if it looked like a film negative, just mean that it looked like the scrambled porno he tried to pick up with his TV.

And she was the Uchiha Matriarch. What Hyuga wouldn't look?

"Kouta...there's chakra going to your eyes", he heard a dark voice.

He looked up to see an angry set of Sharingan eyes looking back at him.

Oh Shit.

"...I regret nothing! *BAM* AHIEEEE!"


	14. The Best Laid Plans

( 4 years after Kyuubi attack)

Rin walked down the street, the bustle of the noon traffic around her. With the subtlety of a woman of her caliber, she slipped down a back alley, then another alley that branched off of that. Konoha was full of alleys. They were like mazes, intertwining between whole blocks of buildings. Apartments, courtyards, staircases, hidden shops, you could find it all in Konoha's labyrinth of alleyways.

It was intentional afterall. If invasion occurred, it allowed Konoha nin, who knew all these backways, to divide and conquer and invading force. Sure, they could take the streets and the tops of the buildings, but going into the alleyways was like going down an Iwa "Bug Hole" during the war.

In essence, an unfamiliar layout, usually booby trapped, and you never knew where an enemy nin was going to pop out.

Konoha also had a tunnel system, which through the years, had parts added to it and some completely forgotten, which was foolish but inevitable considering their complexity.

This menagerie of passages, hidden or in plain sight, was why you would never find an Anbu headquarters on the streets of Konoha.

...But it would have helped if they, at least, invested in a door.

Rin's eye twitched in annoyance and she spied a trashcan at the end of a dark alleyway. She pulled the top off, got in, put the lid on her head, then wrapped a certain sequence on the brick wall by the trashcan before putting her arms by her sides. A moment later, she started descending into god knows where, the lid back on the trashcan.

She sure as hell wasn't using the one in the Akimichi neighborhood again. That one was used before she got there for it's main purpose, the doormen on the other side of the false wall joining her in her dry heaving.

In no time, Rin was in the bustle of a different kind. She walked past desks filled with reports and the rapping of typewriters on cruise control, long range radio operators taking in weather reports from monitoring stations and unsensitive reports about numerous things, cypher teams decrypting messages from in-field teams, anything Anbuesqe, Rin walked past it, right into the changing rooms.

Only to come face to face with one of her newer teammembers, Salamander.

"S-semmpaaaiii", he groaned, his eyes drowsy and snot threatening to leak from his nose.

Rin's reaction was justified.

" Ack! Get the hell away from me! I don't want it!", she yelled as she backed away to one leg and shielded her face from him.

" That's the problem...I don't want to give it to the Hokage either", he groaned out before he started sniffling, looking ready to blow.

" Ah, AH, AH!"

Rin grabbed his shoulders and turned him the other way-

" ACHOOO!"

Right into Kappa, who froze in horror and then shuddered as she turned around and stiffly made her way to the shower room.

" Sorry!", Salamander groaned after the woman after sneezing on her. Served her right for "accidentally" getting pregnant after the Kyuubi Attack.

" So you're on guard detail...and you want me to cover for you", Rin surmised.

" I'd greatly appreciate it if you could...I'd probably give it to everyone else if I was stuck in his office", he mumbled miserably.

Rin had to think about that. The councilors could use some germ warfare used against them, might even get Danzo.

'No,no,no...if the Hokage's miserable, we're miserable', Rin thought. He got a nasty streak when he was sick. He sent Rin's whole team to work at a kid's play palace the last time he was sick, and the *shudder* shinobi retirement home the time before that. There was some twisted, cruel shit right there.

Besides, she was just patrolling Sector U the whole day. The KPF had a strong presence there anyways, being so close to the Uchiha district.

" Alright, alright. I'll take your place. But you owe me drinks the next time we're out", she replied gruffly before shoving him towards the door.

" Now go home before you get the entire headquarters sick!"

" Haaaaaiii"

"Mataku", Rin grumbled as she opened her locker to get changed

*On the other side of Konoha*

Things were good for Naruto, who was almost inseparable from his friend Tenten, and it stayed that way for over a year.

Then, the kind old matron died of a heart attack, and the good times went away.

The new matron kept up her facade through the hiring process, but as soon as she got into the orphanage, and was no longer under observation, her true face came out.

She had taken almost everything from Naruto in the last year and few months, fed him only enough that the Hokage wouldn't get suspicious, and threatened him if he told anyone. She had also alienated him from almost all the other children in the orphanage. It wasn't hard. She just told them little lies about him and they started keeping away from him.

Except Tenten, who didn't believe a word the wicked woman said.

Which is why said woman switched to threatening Naruto.

He held on to his two little friends, Booboo and Icha, as he glared at the evil woman with defiant, tear filled eyes. He had had enough, " She's my friend! I'm not going to!".

" You'll do what I say or I'll take everything from her, including THESE!", she roared as she grabbed at his stuffed friends. He resisted as he tried shaking her off.

Her rage finally boiled over as she grabbed him off the ground by his throat and started choking him.

" You little piece of demonic shit! The only thing you deserve is to die!¡".

He wasn't listening, having heard it all before. He was using his oxygen deprived mind to figure out he wasn't scare, he was mad. With a resolute command from central control, his little leg cocked back and swung at her with all his force, finding purchase right in her solar plexus.

He was dropped like a sack of cement as the matron grabbed her stomach and dropped to the ground in pain. Naruto didn't stick around to admire the handiwork. With a gasp of air, he grabbed up his stuffed animals and dashed out of his "room".

Tenten waited in the play room. The "woman" had drug Naru off harshly a little while ago when they were playing.

She became startled when she heard some screams of anger from said woman down the hall. She saw Naruto make the turn down the hall to the playroom at break-neck speed while a lamp flew behind him, and smashed against the corner wall before a murderous looking matron chased after him.

" YOU FUCKING LITTLE DEMON! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!", she roared as she scooped up a flower vase from a table and threw it at him, missing him as he turned another corner down the hall towards the exit.

As soon as he got into the courtyard, he made a mad dash out of the property, well beyond the gates.

"DON'T EVER COME BACK OR I'LL KILL YOU!", He heard, screaming from the direction he came.

He couldn't go back...now what?

Those were his thoughts as he walked down the road while crying to himself. He was so caught up in it, that he didn't notice the recognition playing across the civilians' faces...and then the dark determination.

* A while later*

Hiruzen walked up to the gates of a very familiar orphanage.

And why wouldn't he? It was October 10th and he had presents to deliver to Naruto. Mostly from Rin, him and Asuma. Rin's former students had a couple times before their own lives swamped them.

Rin watched him from afar when she could, but knew she couldn't associate with him because of the rumors, and associating with him in her Anbu outfit would make him a while different target. To get to her, or even identify her, which was even more likely.

That left the Sandaime as Naruto's only visitor. He tried to visit as much as possible, but with his duties renewed and the issue between the Hyuga and Kumo, he found it was already two months since his last visit. He figured he'd wait until the boy's birthday and make it up to him by taking him and his little friend out to Ichiraku's. Those two were almost inseparable afterall. With those thoughts, he shushinned into the building to surprise him.

Well...this was a surprise alright. For him.

Naruto's room was sparse. He hadn't seen the boy's room in a while but he knew he had more than this. Where were all the toys and knick-knacks they had given him for his past birthdays? More importantly, where was he? He left the room in search of answers.

As he walked down the hall, he noticed a smashed lamp against the corner of the wall...which looked alot like the one Rin had gotten him last year.

As he entered the general playroom, he saw all the children playing...he also saw all the toys they had given to Naruto, being played with by those kids. Considering they all had their own, either Naruto was very good at sharing, lost them gambling, or...

His thoughts ceased when he saw the matron growling something at a distraught Tenten.

She spied him as he walked towards her and stopped her current "conversation". Unfortunately for her, Hiruzen had already come to a conclusion.

" Where's Naruto", he asked simply.

The matrons face screwed up in anger, " That little monster kicked me in the stomach and-"

The next second, she was slammed into the ground and being pinned by a shrinking hand around her throat.

" I. Asked. Where. Is. He?", the Hokage ground out dangerously. The matron choked and thrashed, but to little avail.

" I don't know", she wheezed out, which only made Hiruzen squeeze harder in anger.

" Wrong answer!"

All the children were watching in shock, including Tentan, before she decided to tell the Hokage what happened.

" We were playing and she yanked him back to his room, and I heard shouting, and then Naruto ran out while she threw things at him while calling him names. He ran all the way out of the orphanage", she supplied like any 5 year old would.

The Hokage was pissed, " Is she mean to him?", he asked with barely contained rage, the matrons eyes pleading for Tenten to be quiet...or rolling into her head.

Tenten didn't care," She took away all his toys and told the other kids mean things about him to keep them away"

That did it for Hiruzen as his murderous gaze set back on the matron. She was turning blue, but it soon turned to white when a kunai flashed into the Hokage's other hand and came barreling down towards her.

It was for the sake of the children present, that the kunai struck home in the floor right next to the matron's head.

" You. Are. FIRED!¡", he roared, throwing her into the side of the room, where she gasped for breath.

" You have five minutes to pack before I change my mind! Now get out of here!"

She scrambled to her feet and quickly got to packing/cramming.

*Back at the Power Tower*

Hiruzen was pacing back and forth in his office. There was too much ground to cover to look for the boy, but he needed to find Naruto fast. Not only for Naruto's sake, but also for his sake.

If Rin found out about this...*shiver*...

Luckily, one of the squads Rin WASN'T on was the one he called up, which would be here-*POOF*-right now.

" You called for us Hokage-sama?", the captain asked on one knee.

" Yes. I need you to locate a boy name Uzumaki Naruto. He was ousted from the orphanage this afternoon and isarghehguuum...hooo", he boggled off as KI flooded the room. Everybody turned to a darkened wall that used to be empty, but now held a single visage of death in a Tanuki mask.

Why the hell was she on guard duty?¡ Oh, that's right, Salamander was sick.

It was funny how Hiruzen was going blue in the face, especially since, on any day of the week, he was stronger than Rin, even if she had made it up to Anbu Captain, AND he was her boss to boot. Righteous fury had a way of taking those logics and throwing them out the window. Righteous MOTHERLY fury ripped them to pieces, along with anything that stood in the woman's way.

She started walking towards him. Hiruzen wondered where the Anbu team he called went, but found them all crouched and hiding behind him, like he was a human shield.

In retrospect, wasn't that what the Hokage really was?

Well, he sure as hell wasn't going to shield anything today! With his wellbeing on the forefront of his mind, and Naruto's longterm being thrown to the wind, the Hokage made a decision.

" He's all yours! Go get 'im!", he shouted, pointing at the door.

She stopped 5 feet from him, turned, and walked out the door, having heard all she needed to hear.

When the door clicked shut, everybody sighed in relief. That was some scary shit.

* In another part of Konoha*

Naruto wasn't as lucky. A while ago, a gang of people started chasing after him, and none of them looked too friendly. He immediately associated them with that matron in his child like mind and came to the conclusion that they were bad people, and promptly ran for his life.

Maybe he shouldn't have walked through that festival.

He was too busy running for his life to think anymore. He had kept away from them so far, but it seemed his luck had run out as he turned down a dead end, his hold on his friends got tighter as he swung back around and glared with angry tears at his soon to be attackers.

" Go away and leave me alone! I haven't done anything to you!", he shouted in an act of bravado, which just got him a kick to the head for his effort.

His head swam as he realised he was on the ground.

" Time to die DEMON", the leader growled out as he brought a large knife into a downward arc toward Naruto.

Naruto clenched his eyes shut for the blow.

When it never came, he opened his eyes in confusion, only for them to widen in shock as he looked up. The man was struggling against someone in a freaky painted mask, who was right behind him, pulling his own hand with the knife in it, towards his neck as he futilely struggled.

His cohorts soon came into action, which proved absolutely useless, as the Anbu Captain brushed them off, much to their pain, while sawing through the leader's neck with his own knife.

When Naruto started hearing loud wheezing sounds from the man, he squeezed his eyes shut again. From there, he heard a thump of something big near him and a metallic smell filled the air. He kept clenching his eyes until a par of arms wrapped around him and picked him up into a hug.

His eyes opened wide and realised it was the person with the scary mask...the very BLOODY person with the scary mask.

He did what any kid would do and clocked out.

*Back at the Tower*

Hiruzen waited nervously, something he seemed to be doing alot that day, waiting for Rin to come back, pray-to-kami, with Naruto unharmed.

There was a knock on the door.

" Enter", he called.

A blood stained Tanuki with an unconcious Naruto hefted in her arm walked in. Hiruzen sighed in relief. She wouldn't have knocked if he was injured...or used the door...so where is the blood from?

" Why are you covered in blood?", he asked after she had set Naruto on the couch. She reached behind her and produced...a severed head...that she graciously set on the front of his desk, it's horrified face pointing at him.

" Attempted murder of a child...oh and self defense", she said before pulling off her mask without being asked. Behind it was a very angry face belonging to his youngest son's girlfriend, just as she was 3 years ago, except for the light scar across her cheek that almost blended with the top of her tatoo.

" What happened? You told me he would be safe...and then I barely get there in time to prevent him from getting carved open with a butcher knife!-"

" He was safe!", he shouted to stop the girl from escalating, " ...he was safe until last year apparently. Then, the matron died of a heart attack. I made the screening process rigorous, and yet that bitch still got in!", he growled as he plopped back into his chair, his anger at himself apparent.

Rin was quiet until she looked back at the Hokage with a look that wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

" I'm still taking guardianship of Naruto"

" You know what will happen-"

"One. I'm either going to be put on permanent village defense so I can take care of him and keep him safe at all times, or become a teacher at the Academy and do the same thing.

Two. He's not going to remain clan neutral his entire life. Someday, he's going to want to get married. What if it's to a Hyuga girl, or one of the Uchiha, maybe even Inoichi's daughter? Hell, he would have ruffled the other clans even if his parents were alive and he didn't have "that" . The idea that a woman, just tied to the Inuzuka, but not currently living amongst them, taking care of a controversial kid will be less of a hit to the pride bone than something like that will be.

Three. Let them rumor all they want. There are three dozen different rumors tied to Naruto, even one saying Sensei screwed the Fox in human form and that the attack was "her" giving birth. *Snort*. There are also a dozen pertaining to bastard children sensei had with other women, including Mikoto-san due to Itachi's perceived genius. Iwa's too busy rebuilding their own forces to worry about a possible "Yondaime love child" for now, and by the time they set their sights on revenge, he'll probably already be on a genin team.

Four! It's been four years and she still hasn't woken up. I'm not going to let him grow up without a constant parental figure just because his mother MIGHT wake up. If she does...well, I'll cross that bridge if it comes up. Until then, I'm not going to stay away to protect him from threats on the outside, when there are so many on the inside".

The Hokage was surprised. She threw all his arguments right back at him. Maybe he was training her too well. The Hokage sighed.

" All right. But I want to keep him under the radar as much as possible. So, we're going to sit down and figure it out", he stated as Rin sat in a chair in front of him and nodded with determination.

Naruto started to come to. The first thing he could feel was that he was warm. He must be indoors...

What indoors?

He remembered the scary looking person hugging him...His eyes shot open and then squeezed shut again after being assaulted with the light above the bed he was in.

Once they readjusted, he looked around the room. It wasn't his room back at the orphanage...could the scary person have taken him to their place? He found his two stuffed friends on the bed with him.

"You guys don't know where we are, do you?"

They didn't answer.

"Well some help you are-huh?", he was distracted as a smell wafted past his nose. It smelled delicious. His stomach thought so too, as it growled to life. He grabbed his two friends and crept out of the bedroom.

He found himself in a small living room. Sizzling and the clanks of steel could be heard from the kitchen. He crept his way into it and saw the back of someone at the stove. He tried to get a better look and bumped the table.

Something fell off the table and clanked to the ground. He looked down and saw the creepy, bloody mask.

" Ah, you're finally awake"

His eyes shot back up in fright as he shielded himself with his stuffed animals from the, obviously, woman staring back at him. His look of fear turned into one of confusion as he stared at her face.

He felt like he should know her.

" D-do I...know you?", he asked as he continued looking at her with a perplexed face.

She could see his young mind churning at light speed. She put her hand on her hips as she gave a pout.

" You should. Afterall, I raised you for the first year and a half of your life".

He looked at her strangely, until a wisp of a memory came to him. It was of her hugging him and one word.

"...Kaa-chan?"

The woman smiled at him, " So it came back to you".

Naruto's face turned apprehensive, " A-are you really my mom?"

Rin's smile turned sad, " No...I'm not...I was assigned to get you "up and running" by the Hokage...and then the assignment ended and we went out separate ways"

Naruto looked sullen, " Didn't you want to keep me", he asked sadly.

God, did Rin's heart feel like lead, " I did actually...but for alot of dumb reasons, I couldn't at the time. But that ends starting today", she declared.

" Indeed it does", the Hokage declared, scaring the shit out of both of them.

" Jiji!", Naruto proclaimed as he jumped at the aging leader. The Hokage dodged and picked up the boy by the ankles while he laughed. Hiruzen wasn't much for hugging.

" Long time no see, Gaki. Happy Birthday by the way", he proclaimed to the upside down boy.

" Well, it would have been if it wasn't for that nasty lady", Naruto replied as he scowled. The Hokage set him down.

" Speaking of which, Why did she chase you out?", Hiruzen asked. Naruto's scowl got deeper.

" She took away all my toys and told the other kids things to keep them away from me. Then she tried to keep me away from Tenten and I told her no. She choked me and I kicked her hard and ran".

Both adults looked murderous.

" I should have killed her", Hiruzen growled, finally seeing the last piece of the puzzle.

" That would have been too merciful", Rin said darkly, before a question popped into her mind, " Who's Tenten?".

" Ah. One of the other orphans that he befriended when he entered the orphanage", the Hokage supplied. Naruto looked at the two with worry.

" Am I gonna get to see Tenten again?". Rin didn't know, but apparently the Hokage did.

" Of course you will Naruto. I'll bring her over whenever I come over...in fact-*POOF*.

Rin shrugged, " I guess he's going to get her. Meanwhile, I better get back to cooking", she stated as she went back to the stove, " Why don't you take a look around your new apartment?", she suggested with a smile.

His eyes lit up in shock, " This is MY apartment?¡", he exclaimed.

" Yep. The Hokage will clue you in when he gets back", Rin explained, not wanting to ruin the surprise. Naruto looke around as Rin continued cooking. Right as Naruto finished checking out the living room, a *POOF* signified the Hokage's return...with added weight underarm.

" Sugoi! Can we do it again?¡", Rin heard a little girl shout in excitement. When she turned to look, she was the little brown haired girl with her hair up in buns and her face became perplexed.

' I...fell like I've seen her somewhere before..'

"Maybe when we go back. Until then-"

"Tenten!", Naruto shouted as he laid eyes on the girl.

"Naru!", The little girl shouted in happiness before they ran at eachother and both hugged. As they filled in eachother on what happened, Rin went over to the Hokage.

"Do you know who she is?", she asked. Hiruzen quirked an eyebrow at her.

"No. She's like the rest of the orphans around the time of the attack. No records or anything. It doesn't help that this is, apparently, the thrid orphanage she's been to. Why?",

"Err, probably nothing. I just felt like I've seen her before", Rin waved it off as she went to finish the food. A few minutes later found them all around the table eating and talking, Naruto and Tenten practically inhaling their food. It was better than anything they got in the orphanage by leaps and bounds.

"Is this place really mine Jiji?", Naruto asked between bites.

"Yes it is. Think of it as an additional birthday present, along with a weekly stipend to live off of until you become an adult or a shinobi. Rin will also be looking after you as your guardian", he stated. Naruto looked excitedly at Rin, then a little weary.

"She's not going to cut more peoples' heads off is she?".

Rin almost choked on her food. Hiruzen snorted, and Tenten looked at Rin in awe.

"You cutta guy's head off?¡ Wow!", Tenten proclaimed as she looked stary eyed at Rin, while said woman nervously chuckled.

"It all depends on their actions, Naruto", Hiruzen sighed, to which Rin nodded in agreement.

"I'm not going to let them hurt you. I didn't put up with their shit before, I'm sure as hell not going to now", she declared. Hiruzen gave her an admonishing look for some reason.

"What's shit?", Tenten asked. Rin's eyes widened as she slapped her hand over her mouth. 'Oops. They're not babies!'

"It's poop!", Naruto exclaimed proudly. Both adults stared at him.

"How did you know that?", Rin asked in shock.

"The mean old lady used it alot", Naruto replied as he scrunched up his nose in distaste.

" Along with the work "fucking"", Tenten added in agreement. If Rin wasn't busy thinking about how to track the woman down and skin her alive, she'd hear Hiruzen telling them not to use those words until they were older.

"Anyways...since there's no cake to be had, I think it's time to open your presents Naru-chan". That always got kids off a subject.

After opening presents, it was time for the Hokage to take Tenten back to the orphanage to figure out things there.

"I'm going to miss you", Tenten said sadly. It would probably be another month before he saw her. Naruto was sad as well, but then got an idea. Running into the living room, he came back with his stuffed slug and gave it to Tenten.

"Booboo will keep you company until we see eachother again!", he stated with a smile. Tenten hugged Booboo before she ran over to Naruto, kissed him on the cheek, and ran back to the Hokage before he waved and they both poofed away.

Naruto was still staring at where they were.

"...What was that?"

"Err it's like a hug, except bigger...you little ladies man", she finished with a mumble.

It was just Naruto and Rin, as they fidgeted awkwardly.

"Umm...thanks for saving me...are you going to live here too?"

Rin realised they never got into detail on how this was going to work.

" We won't be living together, but I will be in the village the whole time, so I'll be around to bug you when I'm not patrolling the village. I'll be like a working parent", she stated while smiling at him.

"So...like a mom?", he asked hesitantly.

Rin kneeled down to his level, " Yup. Just like a mom...well, except for a little more freedom on your part".

Naruto nodded enthusiastically until confusion played on his face. " Wouldn't it be Kaa-san instead of Kaa-chan?".

Rin's face screwed up in to a flood different emotions before she replied, " L-let's just keep it Kaa-chan. Afterall, your mom might still be out there and come back for you".

It was very true, she might wake up, and Rin didn't want to clash with Kushina if she did, for Naruto's sake.

Naruto didn't look like he believed it, but nodded regardless, " Okay, Kaa-chan", he replied with a hug.

Rin reciprocated. she missed this...but she didn't miss the smell wafting off Naruto.

"Wooh Naruto. You smell. You definitely need a bath". Naruto's head shot up.

Uhoh. A look of defiance.

"I don't need a bath!", he proclaimed to the world as he slipped out of her grip and took off.

" Come back her you smelly little dwarf!"

" Icha! Protect me!"

"Oi! Don't throw toads at me!"

"He's a frog!"

"He's a toad!"

"He's a frog!"

"He's a toad!"

"Frog!"

Half an hour later found Naruto in his new bathroom tub...with a puffed up pout on his face and his arms crossed.

"Honestly! All that over a bath. It's a wonder you didn't get a skin infection", Rin grumped as she scrubbed the layers of dirt and grease off Naruto. Did that bitch ever bathe Naruto...did she bath any of them? Tenten never seemed to notice, maybe she was just as bad. She'd look into it in the morning.

"Trust me Naruto. More people will like you if you don't stink".

Naruto looked up at her, " More people like Tenten?".

"Err...sure". More girls liking Naruto? Maybe she should leave the dirt on...

An hour later found Naruto washed and tucked into bed. The kid dropped off almost instantly. Not surprising considering what kind of day he had.

Rin shut the door of the apartment before making sure it was locked, pocketing the key since she was going to be a constant.

It was only then she pulled one out and lit up, contemplating how she was going to do this. Afterall, this was a major shift in her life. These thoughts rattled through her head as she walked down the stairs and into the night...then came back to throw the cigarette away and go back into the apartment for her mask all the while cussing at herself.

If she wasn't on permanent home duty, she sure as hell was now.

*Omake*

Hiruzen got back into his office after the whole orphanage ordeal was taken care of until the morning. He plopped back down and grabbed his pipe, relying on just tobacco for the time being.

Then he spied the severed head, still sitting on his desk. He stared at it for close to 5 minutes until a grin came to his face.

Oh what fun he could have.

*The next morning*

Hiruzen walked by the secretary's desk, as she got ready for the morning rush, and into his office. Any minute now.

" AAAAAHHH!¡", the woman screamed after opening her drawer. Hiruzen snickered to himself as he went to go "investigate".

* 11 am*

Council room

It was the monthly report as all the representatives and advisors chatted amongst themselves, waiting for the Hokage to show up.

Then yelling could be heard from behind the door, then screaming. Everybody shut up to listen.

Suddenly, Hiruzen burst through the doors with an ominous aura...a kunai in one hand and a severed head by the hair in the other. He marched up to his seat and dropped the head on his podium as he looked onto the gawking crowd with a less than stable stare.

"So...let's get to the reports"

*3pm*

The bustle of the Anbu Headquarters had shrieked to a halt. Sitting on one of the decryptor's desks, was a severed head. This didn't bother anybody there, they dealt with alot of severed heads.

No, the problem is, noone knew where this severed head came from, where it was supposed to go, who it was, or all the other red tape that went with dealing with severed heads. To say the Anbu Commander was pissed was an understatement.

" I want everything on this head, and I want it YESTERDAY PEOPLE!", he roared, causing the whole operations to go into overdrive. Honestly, first he had to ground one of his best Anbu captains, now he has a severed head with no paperwork.

" Who are you and what the hell are you doing in my headquarters?¡", he yelled, pointing at it.

When you reach Anbu commander...well...most of you reaches Anbu commander.

Just to kill his luck anymore, he heard the words he didn't want to hear, " Hokage on the floor!". Everybody stopped what they were doing to stand at attention.

" Commander. I've come to discuss the details of Tanuki's new status, and another matter that I need to discuss", Hiruzen stated as he walked up to the commander.

" Of course Hokage-sama, right this way", the commander replied, leading him into the office. Everybody was about to go back to finding out about the head...but when they looked...it was gone.

The commander found this out after the Hokage had left.

" YOU LOST IT?¡"

" H-hai. It-it just disappeared!"

" I WANT IT FOUND, AND I WANTED IT THE SAME TIME I WANTED THE INFO ON IT!"

The whole room went into light speed.

" WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GOOOOO!", he roared to the heavens, pointing at where the head used to be.

* 5 pm*

Hiruzen puffed on his pipe in peace...while his secretary took the day off from mental trauma, the council was so scared shitless, they sent in no paperwork or complaints, and his Anbu ran around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Hmmm. What else could he do?

He stared at the head...mainly it's eyes and mouth.

...'I wonder if I still have those little red tea lights'

*3 am*

Rin's eyes scrunched up as she tried to sleep, yet there was some light that was annoying her. She finally gave up trying to ignore it.

She opened up her eyes to glare at the annoyance...

To see a face with red glowing eyes and red light coming out of it's mouth.

"AAAAAAHHH!", she screamed as she commando rolled out of bed before throwing a kunai at it. It hit dead on, causing the face to demonically spin around.

She quick, turned on the light to get a better grasp of the situation.

Only to see the severed head she left on the Hokages desk stuck to her bedpost...its eyes replaced with red tea lights.

Her eye twitched, and again, ah shit it was full speed now.

*3:15 am*

HIruzen was reading his favorite book when his head came back to him...via a closed, now broken, window. He looked down into the streets to see Rin stomping off back into the night.

"Well, that wasn't very nice", he stated lightly, looking back at the severed head...a grin came to his face.

* Uhoh*

"Uhoh", Asuma stated as he looked down at the package the courier nin just gave him.

" What?", Kitane asked, looking at it as well.

" It's a package from pops"

Chiriku walked up, " I don't see how getting anything from the Hokage is a bad thing"

Asuma chuckled hysterically, " You don't know my old man like I do". He stated, pulling the letter off the top of the box.

_Your girlfriend is into some kinky shit_

All three looked at the letter in confusion. Asuma opened the box to see...

Kitane closed his mouth and turned to Asuma while the other two still still gawked.

" Asuma...that woman...IS A KEEPER!"

Both Asuma and Chiriku stared at Kitane, their mouths still hanging open.

*Omake 2*

Rin filed the last of the paperwork needed to become permanently " In House".

" You know, that's usually seen as a dishonor, Rin", she heard Tenzou behind her.

She turned around and looked at him, " It's for a damn good reason", she stated, conviction in her eyes.

Tenzou looked at her incredulously, " What's worth losing your captain's position, pay rate, and alot of respect, for?".

She got up as she put her papers in an envelope, " I'm getting my son back", she stated with a smile.

Tenzou looked confused, until realization came to his eyes, " You..actually talked him into it?"

Rin chuckled humorlessly, " It only took an attempted murder to do it"

Tenzou looked at her with shock, " How so?"

" The matron kicked him out and the civilians tried to kill him, I killed the leader before he had a chance. Sawed his head off with his own knife",

Tenzou nodded until he heard the last part, " You severed his head? Do you know where it went?"

" Yeah. I put it on the Hokage's desk...then he put tea lights in its eyes and mouth and stuck it on my bedpost while I was sleeping!", she replied angrily.

Tenzou jumped into the doorway of the small office. " Commander! Info on the Phantom Head!"

*POOF!¡* "WHERE?"

" Tanuki did it!"

Rin found herself grabbed by the shoulders by the commander. " WHERE IS IT?¡"

" T-the last I saw of it was when I threw it through the Hokage's window!"

" I WANT DETAILS! WEIGHT! FORCE THROWN! ARC! WIND SPEEDS!"

" Wah!" Rin cried as the commander took her under arm and hiked back to his office.

Tenzou could only snicker...wait...he was the captain of the squad now...

" Sweet!". He had to wonder what their first assignment was going to be.

"Ah, fuck me", he mumbled, his squad trying to quell kids and the like.

They got to be orphanage matrons...until the Hokage hired a new one.

This was worse than working at the kid's play palace.

"I pooped my pants!", one kid proclaimed proudly to Tenzou.

...this might be even worse than the Shinobi Retirement Center too.

Tenzou glared through his mask at Salamander.

" Somehow, this is totally your fault!"


	15. If You Can't Join Them

Naruto stared at the door to his apartment. It has been three days since he got it and three days of memorizing his mom's work schedule.

She worked 12 until 8 am, slept until 4, then stayed with him until she had to go to work again.

It was weird running on an evening schedule, since the orphanage worked on a "civilian schedule".

Naruto would never complain, it was more attention then he ever recieved...even if she did make him do stuff that he didn't necessarily like. Honestly, how many baths a week did he have to take to impress girls...people?

Despite his mom's attributes of being "super cook", "medic extraordinaire", and "so badass she chops people's' heads off", she tended to forget things.

Like there was no food in the apartment that a 4 year old could eat, especially when he couldn't cook.

*GROWL*

Naruto held his stomach. It was a little before 6am and he needed food.

The Hokage had dropped off his stipend for the month the day after he got the apartment, so he had plenty of money to get some.

Problem was. Naruto hadn't set foot outside the apartment since he got there. The last time he ventured out by himself didn't go too well afterall.

"GROWL!¡*

Ugh, he wasn't going to make it to 4. He needed to eat something.

So with whatever courage he could muster, and alot more desperation, he opened the door and ventured out, hoping he had better luck today.

*With Rin*

' I should have been a teacher', Rin growled in her mind.

'In House' Anbu were split into two different categories. Those who had families and didn't want to risk them being targets, or just want to be there for them. Then you had the Anbu that the higher ups just decided were too much of a liability to send on missions for certain reasons, whether it be strategic value...or you just fucked up too many times.

To the regular Anbu, the 'In House' shouldn't even be Anbu at all, since they were doing nothing but a redundant job that was done well enough by the KPF. Sure, the regular Anbu did routes in the village, but that was more of a "spacer" between out-of-village missions, which were usually A and S ranked in nature. The burnout rate decreased twenty percent with these respites, and it kept the members paid in between...not that they didn't make enough off the missions to begin with. No matter HOW you came out of Anbu, you came out of it financially well off. You had to or noone would sign up.

'In House', on the other hand, were seen as permanently on the benches, doing nothing better than taking up a possible animal mask and getting an easy paycheck.

They were basically the black sheep of the force.

And now Rin was in charge of them. It was inevitable , considering she was an Anbu captain, and they...were them. The commander figured she could whip them into shape...all the while continuing to give them the bottom-of-the-barrel equipment.

Hell, their radios were discontinued from use in the regular forces quickly after being first issued when it was found out they had a penchant for picking up civilian radio stations better than they picked up transmissions from fellow radio sets.

...Right now the damn thing was piping some dubstep station out of Ame into her ear.

Wait...she could hear something through the bass drops...

"Tan-ki...chou...Ox...sec...D...Uzu-ki... to..sigh-ed..alone"

She heard Uzu-ki and got the general gist. As much as it would be healthy if he got out, he shouldn't be out by himself, even if he wasn't a major target of prejudice.

" I'm on my way", she had no idea if he heard her. His was always picking up some folk station afterall.

*With Naruto*

Okaaay...this wasn't looking too good.

He had only ventured out an hour ago and had already been kicked...or chased...out of fourteen different stores.

*G-R-O-W-L!¡*

"Be quiet! I'm trying!"

"...growl"

Naruto slumped. Why did everyone not like him?...maybe he needed more baths.

With that thought in mind, he pressed on. There had to be a store that would let him get food.

Maybe this one?

*With Rin*

She landed on the same building as Ox as he did some weird dance.

"Gah! Tanuki-taichou, you scared me", he yelped out as he stopped.

Rin's eye twitched behind her mask, " The feeling's mutual. So what about Naruto?"

Ox pointed down the street the building overlooked. Rin looked down to see him walking down the street.

" What's he doing out?"

" It looks like he's trying to buy food. He's been kicked out of a few stores already", Ox supplied.

Rin looked at him, perplexed, until her eyes widened and she palmed her face...mask, " Crap. I forgot there's nothing in the house he can eat readily...stupid Rin."

She looked back up, ready to remedy the situation, but Naruto was no longer visible.

" Where did he go?"

Ox pointed, " Into that sto-"

*SMASH* " GET OUT YOU FUCKING LITTLE MONSTER!"

Rin's eyes widened as she saw Naruto run out of the store clutching his face. She and Ox were on the road an instant later, catching Naruto before he ran away.

"Naruto! What happened?", Rin tried calming the boy down. It became more obvious as blood started running down his hands as he bawled.

" H-He threw a glass at me!", he bawled out.

"...Ox, help him out", Rin said darkly.

" T-taich-"

" I said do it!", she growled as she shushinned away.

Ox spent the next few minutes prying Naruto's hands away and getting any glass shards out. Once he was sure there were no more, he tried wiping off all the blood he could without hurting the boy anymore.

Then a man came out of the store.

Flew out

Obviously assisted.

Through his glass door.

He landed in a heap a dozen feet from the two, startling the both of them. Naruto forgot the pain as he looked at the mean man that had hurt him, in shock.

Ox stared at him, knowing Tanuki roughed him up before throwing him out of the store.

Said woman kicked down what was left of the door and walked out. She grabbed what was left of the man's hair and dragged him, screaming, over to Ox, where she grabbed his hand and deposited said hair into it.

" DRAG him to jail. Make sure they know who sent him and why", she growled. Ox saluted her and dragged the screaming man off to the KPF.

Rin looked down at Naruto, as he looked at her in awe. It didn't help her. She crouched down to him to see the extent of his injuries.

" ...I'm being a horrible mother", she mumbled out as she examined his injuries...if masks could cry.

Naruto started tearing up again, " S-sorry. If I hadn't gone out..."

" You did nothing wrong Naru-chan...it was my mistake", she croaked out as her hands glowed green.

In the back of her mind, past the self-loathing/berating, she had to wonder why the cuts hadn't closed off yet. While they were healing faster than average, it was a snail's pace compared to some of the ones Kushina got. She could take a stab wound and have it heal in, at most, a half an hour. These looked like they'd close in two or three days.

" Why do they hate me?"

Rin shuddered at that question as she looked at his pleading face, now healed from the assault. Anger swelled up in her once again.

" Because they're idiots Naru-chan. Nothing better than mindless cattle working on a "herd mentality", fearing and hating things they don't understand", she explained to him.

He looked at her in confusion, " Herd...mentaly?¿"

She ushered for him to walk with her back to his apartment, " A "herd mentality" Naru-chan. It's also called a "mob mentality". It's where a bunch of people think the same thing because the majority do. They don't even attempt to understand it first. They just label it because everybody else sees it a certain way."

She could see Naruto grow depressed, " So...everybody will hate me?"

She stopped and crouched back down to his level to look straight at him, " No, Naru-chan. There are plenty of people out there that don't work that way. People who are more openminded. People who don't follow the crowds and don't follow other people's ideas. Those are the people you have to impress Naru-chan. There are even ones out there that have an existing opinion, but only need a push to make it shatter. You just have to find them"

Naruto looked at her in awe again before determination showed up on his little face. Then a bit of hesitation.

" What...about the ones that aren't?"

Rin smirked bitterly under her mask, " To hell with them. They're not worth the effort. Don't spend your life trying to impress them Naru-chan, but don't show them what they want to see either."

Naruto looked confused, " So...what should I do with them?".

" "If you can't join 'em, beat 'em", as my sister says. Don't worry, I'll handle that part."

"Oh...okay". He didn't get all of it, but it sounded like Kaa-chan did.

Rin nodded. She'd probably have to tell him again later on since he was only four...but he had impressed her so far with how he seemed to take up everything she said like a sponge.

"Anyways. I'm going to get changed, and then I'll take you to a little restaurant I know that will love to have you there", she said, shunshinning both of them to his apartment, where she had a spare set of clothes.

* Later that day*

Hiruzen chewed on his pipe after hearing what happened that morning. Rin was situated in front of his desk, and the commercial representative, for the district being discussed, leaned against the wall. His appearance reminded Hiruzen of the Nidaime Mizukage.

" So...what the hell is happening?", Hiruzen asked a little tensely to the rep, who sighed.

" Basically, almost all the commercial owners have blacklisted him entirely, whether it be personal opinion or the image of the boy in their other customers, I can't tell. But I do know it's more than just my district. It might be all of them boss-man".

He was known for not being much for titles, or manners. In fact, he was actually a smuggler instead of a business man. Probably why he had no opinion on Naruto and why Hiruzen liked him so much.

" Can't you do anything about it?", Rin asked while furrowing her brows.

" Nope. I have no power over them. I'm only there to make their gripes known to boss-man every month. If I tried, I'd probably be out of a job".

Rin sighed, " Can't you order them Hokage-sama?"

Hiruzen grumbled before responding, " Unfortunately not. They're civilian led, therefore they can grant and deny selling to anyone they want."

Rin deflated. The room was quiet until a thought came to her, " So...why don't we make a store run by the military?"

Both Hiruzen's and the Rep's eyes quirked at this, " I don't see how making a store for one kid would go down well"

Rin's mind turned some more until it came to her, " How about a store run by the shinobi forces, FOR the shinobi forces. Like a post exchange or something"

Hiruzen's interest was piqued, " I'm listening"

Rin gave it her all.

" Well. Like a store that caters to what shinobi want and need, not civilians. One thing that comes to mind, is that "we" never have too much food in our houses, seeing as some of our missions can last months. Finding long shelf life food in civilian stores is a pain in the butt, and shopping between stores for everything we need is a big hassle. Why not sell long life food there, letting the civilian stores sell the fresh stuff? We could even sell off the emergency surplus stuff after it goes out of rotation. Another thing. I see alot of equipment from Anbu and regular forces just thrown away once new equipment comes in. Why don't we sell it in the place too"

She started pacing as she kept on rambling off ideas.

" Along with other stuff. Supplies, appliances, toiletries, electronics. Hey, even stuff from retired shinobi. I know a few who have taken up craft work after retiring. Why not see if they want to sell their stuff there too. All of it tax free and only available to shinobi...*snap* and family members of shinobi! With it being run by the military, they would have to let anyone in the military tells them too. You could even hire someone unbiased since the military CAN discriminate."

Hiruzen smirked. It sounded like a cool fucking store...why hadn't he thought of it? He looked to the Rep.

" Sounds like a good idea, don't you think?"

The rep thought about it physically, " ...don't see how it would ruffle too many feathers, seeing as how shinobi aren't major customers and usually buy stuff out of the village anyways. Hell, it might even become a hit."

" Then I guess we'll have to do it then, now won't we? Nice work Rin. I want it in writing though".

Rin saluted, " Hai Hokage-sama. I'll get to work on it as soon as I get back to Ichiraku's", she stated before poofing out of the room.

Sarutobi blinked, " Ichiraku's?"

*At Ichiraku's*

As soon as Rin appeared, she blinked owlishly at the towering stack of ramen bowls

Naruto sheepishly scratched his cheek, " Um...I was really hungry"

" I guess", Rin mumbled. 'What the hell? Is he eating for the Kyuubi too?'

" You're little boy has quite the appetite on him Rin-san. I don't think I have to worry about closing down for the few hours that I did today", Teuchi commented with a grin. Why would he? He actually got more business from Naruto than he usually did during this time of the day.

Ayame looked to be in shock, " We tried to keep up, but it just..WOOSH...disappeared...bowl after bowl...I don't even think he used chopsticks"

Naruto chuckled nervously, " Well...it was good so I couldn't help myself...the only thing that trumps it is Kaa-chan's cooking."

Teuchi looked like he wanted to argue that, but knew better, especially when "Kaa-chan" could kick his butt. Physically and, quite possibly, Cullinarily.

Ayame said it for him.

" Nuh-uh! My Tou-san can cook better than anyone in the village!", she proclaimed proudly while Teuchi chuckled nervously.

Rin's ears twitched, " Oh really. Sounds like a challenge. We should have a competition Teuchi-san".

Teuchi made to try downplaying it, but Ayame beat him to it.

" Hai! Tou-san's ready to kick your butt!"

*2 Hours Later*

" Wow, Tou-san. She really kicked your butt", Ayame exclaimed as Teuchi sulked.

No fair. He was a ramen chef. He knew how to make ramen really well. So why did he have to cook something else?

Totally not fair...at least she left the leftovers.

*At Naruto's apartment*

Rin was busy writing up the idea she had in the Hokage's office. Naruto was going through an alphabet book as she continued writting, asking about a certain character every so often. In no time at all, she looked down at the paper with a triumphant smile.

" What's that for, Kaa-chan?"

Rin looked at Naruto, who was looking at the writing, " It's a surprise, Naru-chan", she answered before getting up.

" I have to drop it off at the Hokage Tower. I'll be right back so don't go anywhere". With that, she poofed out of the room.

*With the Sandaime a while later*

After reading through the proposal, he absolutely loved the idea. There were some details she missed though, like where it was going to go, and who was going to set it up. He made to correct this, but after poofing into Naruto's apartment and seeing them leaning against eachother on the couch, sleeping, an alphabet book laying on Naruto's lap, he didn't have the heart to wake them up.

'Screw it. I can figure that part out...time to piss of my Anbu again, heheh', the Hokage chuckled in his mind as he poofed back out of the room, leaving the two snoring, oblivious to the world.

*A couple days later*

Rin walked down a familiar road in her regular clothes, a nervous Naruto walking along side her. When they reached a familiar store, Naruto froze up. Rin looked down at him and smiled.

" Don't worry Naru-chan. It's under new management now, so you don't have to worry about violent store owners", she assured him as she held out her hand. He hesitantly took it and they walked in.

Inside, the new clerk was labeling food in one of the aisles. It was early morning on opening day, so there was only one customer meandering the store, since shinobi tend to wake more at the noon hours.

She looked down at the square can of meat, "...best if used by...three years from now?¿...BEST IF USED BY?¡". Was this actually meat?¿

" Excuse me, could you...Nanami?", she heard above and behind her. She turned and saw a familiar face.

" Kaa-chan! I haven't seen you in ages!", she cried out in surprise before doing the increasingly bothersome task of standing up.

" Nanami?¡", Rin cried out in shock, looking at her...bump.

Nanami sheepishly scratched the back of her head, " Heheh, yeah. Was kind of a shock to Hiroshi and me as well".

Rin was dumbstruck. A kid?¿ At her age?¡

" Seventeen and already having a kid?! Don't you think that's a little too early? I don't even have any yet!", Rin whined.

" Oh? I was sure you would have poked a...ara?", she trailed off as she spied a little head poking out from behind Rin's legs.

"Wait...is that Naruto?", Nanami asked in surprise, causing the head to poke out more in curiosity, making it all that much easier to see it was him.

Rin moved to the side, " It sure is. Naru-chan, this is Nanami. She helped me raise you when you were a baby", she assured the curious kid. Nanami crouched down to his level to get a better look at him.

"Uh, hi", Naruto greeted at the girl/woman, who was eyeing him up like a teddy bear.

" Wow, you've gotten big Naruto! The last time I saw you, you were stuffing your first birthday cake into your mouth with your hands. A few more years, and you're going to be quite the lady killer"

" He is already", Rin mumbled, while Naruto looked at Nanami curiously.

" What's a lady killer? Does it mean I'll have more friends like Tenten?"

Nanami gave a cheshire grin, " Yup! Lot's of them!"

Naruto looked up to a sweatdropping Rin, " I wanna be a lady killer".

Rin's eyes narrowed at Nanami, " I SO blame you for this". Nanami just waved it off. It wasn't the first time Rin had said that to her.

" Hai hai. So, how did you get him back anyways?".

Rin told her the whole story while Naruto looked around the aisle. By the end, Nanami looked pretty angry.

" Well, at least you got him back before anybody could do permanent damage...is that store owner still in jail?".

" For the next 15 years", Rin replied with no regret.

Nanami smiled at them, " Well then, thanks for giving me a place to work while I'm on maternity leave. So, come here for food?"

" Among other things. I'll catch up with you after we're done...oh, I know most of this is long life, but there isn't any milk around here is there?"

Nanami smirked, " As a matter of fact, there is", she replied, leading them to another aisle and picking out a box.

" I didn't know milk came in boxes", Naruto stated in surprise

" Not fresh milk. Dry milk. Lasts alot longer than fresh milk does. All you have to do is pour the right amount into a pitcher of water and stir it in. Nifty, huh? Never any spoiled milk to worry about, as long as you keep it dry.

Rin could only shrug. It was better than no food at all...or him relying on ramen everyday..as silly as that sounded. He'd probably stunt his growth if he had to do something like that. So they shopped through what was in the store right now, since it had just opened that day. Dry milk, powdered eggs, dehydrated vegetables, canned goods, frozen pizzas and the like ( They count...and he needed something easy to cook if she wasn't there). All in all, his kitchen would be stocked.

After toiletries and some surplus amenities, they went to the checkout, where Rin caught up with Nanami while Naruto stared at a strange display. Tugging on Rin's pant leg, he pointed at it.

" Kaa-chan, what's that?".

Rin looked and blanched. He was pointing at a condom display...with a torso to head cut out of the Hokage pointing to the reader, with a speech bubble that said, " Get herpies, and I'll kick your ass"

" What the fu-err heck?", she corrected.

Nanami scratched her cheek. " Yeah, I can't really think of anything appropriate to say about that...other than it should have been more than the Hokage and a bunch of Anbu building everything, especially the "theft deterrent system".

Rin deadpanned, " Do I even want to know?"

"Basically, with the push of a button, 160 kunai and shuriken converge where we're standing right now...or so the Anbu commander guy told me...heheh*shiver*..when I asked him what he meant by "we're", all he said was that I'd probably be dead by then anyways and to die with the pride of knowing I took my killer with me", Nanami replied as she went blue and started shivering.

'Bat-shit crazy batard', Rin reaffirmed in her mind for the thousandth time, " Yeah, don't press that button, he doesn't joke about stuff like that...or anything at all...in fact don't try to disarm it either. It probably has a self destruct".

"So...what are they?", Naruto asked again. Rin slumped.

" I'll tell you when you're older"

" But what if I need them?"

" Not until you're older"

" How much older?"

"...I don't know anymore", Rin whined. She wanted to punch that damn cardboard cutout...but it was probably booby trapped.

In truth, the old man's message was actually an accurate, if not blunt, point. Alot of hospital cases were of ninja getting their rocks off while on assignment and getting an STD, which were a pain in the ass to get rid of for medics. Hell, it wasn't just shinobi, but kunoichi as well...which usually ended up with something else along with the illness.

He could have picked a more subtle message though.

After getting over it all and paying a very reasonable price for all the items, Naruto was given a pass for any future visits and they said goodbye to Nanami.

" See? Now you have a place to get food"

" Arigatou, Kaa-chan", Naruto thanked her happily. She smiled down at him. She liked seeing him happy. It seemed, more often than not, like he was still trying to contemplate his surroundings, a pensive, weary, and thoughtful expression on his face. Considering what has happened in less than two weeks, she couldn't blame him...but weren't kids supposed to be hyper or something?¿

Right now, all he was doing was tugging at his clothes...which were starting to look a little ratty. She could probably wait until the PX got some in, buuuut...

" Errr, later, why don't we find out how good I can sew?"

"Okay!"

...somehow, she felt coaxed.

Naruto looked at himself in the mirror...then at Rin...then back at his reflection.

" They look just like yours".

Well, except it was a white t-shirt underneath instead of mesh and a tubetop...which Rin had to block out of her mind.

" Yep! Just modified a few of my old ones so they fit you", she responded. He looked pretty good in olive drab and tan if you asked her.

" Sugoi", he stated, sticking his hands in the coat pockets, in a "cool bad boy" look.

"Huh?". He pulled his hand out and a thong came with it, which Rin quickly snatched up.

" Heheh. I was wondering where these went...But anyway, those should last you a good while, even after we get you some more. For now, why don't we go to the park for a while and you can play. You might even meet someone there to play with".

" Osu!", Naruto agreed, giving her a floppy sleeve salute. Meh, he looked cuter that way.

Well...he did find someone to play with. Rin couldn't help but snicker as Naruto and Kiba butted heads. Then Naruto gave Kiba a wedgie and it turned into a scuffle.

Tsume showed up a minute later, splitting them both up from their wrestling, " Oi oi! Theresn't no need to tear at eachother on the first..."

Tsume stared at the new kid. He looked so...

"Cute!", she cried out as she hugged him into her breasts. He flailed around from suffocation as Rin decided to intervene.

" Oi! Tsume. Let my poor kid breath would ya?"

Tsume blinked at Rin owlishly before pulling Naruto away and getting a better look at the fizzled out boy.

" Ah! It's the gaki you were looking after! But how did you get him back?", she asked in confusion.

" It's a long story"

Tsume let go of Naruto, who promptly fell to the ground, " Well, we have plenty of time, don't we?"

So Rin filled in Tsume as Naruto and Kiba..."played". I guess you could call they're obviously forming rivalry, playing...along with other things. A strain of emotions played in Tsume, something that seemed to happen alot when discussing Naruto. She ended up with a smile.

" Congrats on getting your pup back. You know, in some obscure way, that makes him an Inuzuka too", she proclaimed with mirth. Rin deadpanned.

" Riiight...just what he needs"

" Oi! Kiba! Stop fighting with your cousin! We're going back home for dinner!".

" COUSIN?¡", both boys yelled while trying to trip up eachother.

' Like he isn't perverted enough', Rin finished in her mind as both boys started towards them while still trying to trip eachother.

Omake

Anbu H Q had finally gone back to it's usual chaotic bussle after the episode of the phantom head...well except for the new regulations pertaining to the handling and processing of severed heads, including one stating that you cannot use a severed head as a blunt force missile to smash out a window without a demolition permit and a 50 ryou tax stamp for the possesion of stated head...unless the head was your own, in which you would only need the demolition permit...the commander made it.

Most in the headquarters hoped for some normality/regular chaos for the forseeable future, but with the Hokage on some weird fucking warpath-

" ANBU! SCRAMBLLLLEEEE!¡!", the Hokage roared as he appeared out of nowhere.

Everybody went nuts, tripping over themselves as they tore out of their offices, desks, equipment rooms, shower stalls, you name it, they tore out of it. Everybody in the place was lined up in front of him in a matter of seconds, including the commander.

The Hokage paced in front of them.

" A proposal was brought to my attention this morning, something that could very well benefit the military men and women of the village. But, it needs to be done quickly, efficiently, and brrghumcheaplyrhum".

Everybody's interest was piqued. What could the Hokage need a quarter of his Anbu to achieve?

" Whatever it is, we're ready and willing Hokage-sama!", the commander barked out for the rest of them.

" Good. I knew I could count on you all. The mission starts now. We'll begin renovations after we clean out the place I have in mind", he said with a smirk.

Everybody stared at him...rennovations?...clean?

* An hour later*

A chunin walked down to the local grocery store...or at least that's what his intention was.

His intention went out the window when he saw Anbu crawling all over it with construction materials. Some were building, some were measuring, all were grumbling under their breath. Two just got into an accident and were now throwing tools at eachother.

The Hokage was yelling at everyone through a megaphone whilst wearing a hardhat.

It was like watching a trainwreck...if they HAD trains...

His stare was interupted as he spied movement to the side of him.

There was a female anbu in a maid uniform handing out pamphlets. That would have been attractive if it wasn't for the anbu mask and katana she had strapped to her back. Oh shit, she saw him. She was in front of him an instant later.

" Here's this pamphlet. You will take it. Then you will tell everyone you know about it or I will hurt you. Then you will forget you ever saw me in this or I will hurt you more. This conversation is terminated."

She was back in her original place an instant later. The chunin walked away zombie like, still holding the pamphlet and the same look frozen on his face.

*A day later*

The Sandaime was sitting at a desk while his logistics crew went into overdrive pooling rotated stockpiles of various goods throughout the village. Meanwhile he was giving interviews for the new clerk.

He looked down at the resume of the, clearly, 70 year old woman. A spotless record. He looked at her smiling face.

" While your resume is very admirable...Look at this picture!"

He held up a picture of Naruto.

Her shocked face turned into one of distaste and bitterness.

" DENIED!"

Was heard as she was sent sailing out the door and into the adjacent wall. The rest of the prospective employees stared in horror at her twitching body.

Five more just like it happened before everybody stopped coming in. "SIGH", he said to himself.

"Ano, are you busy Hokage-sama?", he heard. He looked to see a familiar face poking through the hole the last interviewee left.

"Not at all Nani-chan. Come in".

" It's Nanami", she grumbled as she stepped through the hole. "Anyways. Something's come up and I need to take maternity leave", she stated while handing him the appropriate forms.

" Gee, I wonder what that could be. The possibilities are endless", he deadpanned sarcastically considering her prior statement and the balloon that had been inflating on her in the last two months. She grumbled to herself as he read through the forms.

Wait.

" Everything looks to be in order. You're hired."

"...huh?"

"Well, I'm sure you'll need something to do for the forseeable future, so you're going to be a clerk at the new post exchange."

" waitwaitwaitwaitWAIT! The postal what? How? And Why?¡", Nanami looked like she wanted to tear her hair out.

" Details. The Anbu commander will fill you in. Be at this adress in the next 20 minutes", he said scribbling down and address and pushing her out the door with it. Nanami being a former student of Rin, she was perfect to take command of it since she held no ill will towards Naruto. It would provide a solution...well...until she popped anyways.

Nanami had other ideas. Mostly that her chance at a nice break from working went in the shitter.

*A day later*

" -and because of the hard work of all of you, I declare Konoha's post exchange, open for business!".

" ...yaaaaaay", the disturbed bunch of Anbu...cheered.

Rin felt uncomfortable around them as she watched the unveiling. Probably because the Hokage had credited her with the idea and could swear they were all glaring at her. Maybe she should have helped out...nah. She was an "in house" afterall. Why would the big brave "real" Anbu need her weak little help? With that in mind, Rin made her way over to Naruto's apartment to show him the place.

*Omake 2*

Mikoto walked down the familiar street, thanking the heavens that she got away from her family and her team for the day. Her thoughts drifted to them as she pulled a flask out of her sleeve.

Her family had become insufferable. Fugaku was slowly growing more delusional and bitter. After their public relations campaign did little to nothing, he started viewing them as underneath the Uchiha, and, with Mikoto's absence while getting her first team up to chunin, it had ingrained itself into Sasuke. With Itachi hardly present there, she tried finding more and more excuses to be somewhere else, even if it was to train her team.

Her team...it sure didn't feel like hers. While the first one grew on her, this one viewed her with as much disdain as the rest of the village. The disrespect had come to a point she was seriously thinking of washing her hands of them completely. She already had enough stress that she didn't need three "genin" that she had to pull rank on to even get them to train. Let some other poor sucker lead them to their deaths in the chunin exams.

She stopped dead in her tracks after having those thoughts. It made her physically sick that she even thought that way. She made her way over to a bench to regain herself, or lose herself as she took another swig out of the flask. She was starting to turn into the rest of her clan, bitter and spiteful, and it brought tears to her eyes just thinking about it.

Why had her life become so bleak? All because of some stupid fucking rumors. RUMORS. There were thousands of rumors going around Konoha, including one stating she had an affair with the Yondaime and Itachi was the result. *Sigh* If only it were true.

Her gaze drifted to a mother and daughter playing out in the park.

" Now where could Saku-chan be...maaaybeee...HERE!"

" Ah! How did ya find me so quick?"

" Call it a sixth sense Saku-chan"

" Well I'm gonna hide really good this time!", the girl shouted in excitement as her mother covered her eyes.

Mikoto wished she had that kind of life. Hell, even a daughter to coddle.

She couldn't watch anymore. She staggered to her feet and made her way off into another part of the village, leaving the empty flask on the bench.

Omake 3

It was two weeks after Naruto moved in that an event happened that pissed Rin off to no end. They had just gotten back from the park and were making their way up to the floor, Naruto's apartment was on. Rin's first indicator that something was wrong was when she spied the door frame broken from being kicked in. She kept Naruto back as she pulled a kunai and approached the door. Pushing the broken door all the way open, her heart sank into her stomach.

Everything was destroyed.

Large, vulgar words were spray painted on the walls.

Food was smashed and smelled like urine.

"K-kaa-chan", she heard behind her.

She looked to see Naruto looking in behind her. He looked ready to burst. She quickly went into damage control.

" Looks like a robber got your apartment. I had the same thing happen to me."

" *sniff* You did?"

" Yup! But don't worry! I'll find them. Oh kami, I'll find them. Let's go out to eat while I fix this little problem!", she stated cheerfully as she popped three clones.

" You, get Kuromaru over her _now_. You two clean up after he gets their scents", she almost growled to her clones, getting nods from all of them.

* A while later*

" And that makes three", Kuromaru finished after tracking the scents to their homes.

" Good *slam*", she kicked the door open with no problem whatsoever.

" Uh, what are you doing?", the veteran ninken asked as Rin walked in. She turned to the wall and picked up a wedding picture of a happy looking man and woman. She looked at it, then smashed it out of it's frame and started drawing on it, but not before popping additional clones to help tear up the apartment. One apparently had a wicked idea and ran off to somewhere else in the village, Kuromaru following figuring his job was done, as Rin continued to utterly destroy the couple's apartment. In other parts of town, the same thing was happening to his cohorts' properties.

* A few hours later*

The man's stomach filled with lead as he walked up to his apartment with his wife. His door was broken in half. Walking up and looking inside crushed any hope.

Everything was torn up, smashed, ripped...and smeared in shit. He could hear his wife's sobs starting as she surveyed their shattered home. She picked up the only thing that didn't seem to be smeared with waist, their wedding photo.

Her sobs stopped and her hands trembled as she stared at the photo, until she threw it, frame and all right at her unsuspecting husband and marched out of the apartment towards her father's house.

After he regained his senses, he looked down at the photo that beamed him in the head.

"_An eye for an eye, all thanks to your husband"_

Two weeks later found two newly divorced men...and a newly divorced woman.

Rin added the last few characters to the array before binding them into the seal on Naruto's door. Naruto looked at it in wonder.

" Wow...what does it do?"

" Observe!", Rin replied as she popped a clone, which took a few steps back from the door, before ramming into it full force with it's shoulder. The seal pulsed an millisecond later before the clone was flung back into the railing of the walkway and poofing out of existence.

" Basically, it takes any force applied to the door, and reflects it back at the offending person or object. It also acts as a lock. All you have to do is program in the right chakra signatures. There's a voice recognition version, but I didn't want to put in the effort. Whoever doesn't have a chakra signature can just knock or use the buzzer."

Naruto looked up at her in awe.

" You can do that with seals?"

Rin's mind wavered through a sense fo deja vu. " Err, yeah. There's lot's of stuff you can do with seals. It takes work though".

Aaaaaaannnd.

" Can you teach me?"

*Omake 4*

In this existence, there are dimensions. Some are very close to others, while some are totally different, created by the forking of events, the proverbial " No path left unventured, because all paths are taken".

Of course there are dimensions we can't even begin to fathom with our primitive minds, but let's stick to the ones that won't leave us catatonic.

Let's look at one such event that caused a swell of new dimensions to be born. We'll call this X-1:

Kushina was not doing too well. Actually, she was pretty much critical. Complications during the early labor, and the Kyuubi's chakra bearing down on her meant her life was fading. But if Kushina was one thing, it was stubborn. She was determined to deliver this baby whether it meant her life was forfeit or not. With every little bit of strength she could muster, she battled on through her last few pushes and finally brought her child into the world, pissed off and screaming about it like any Uzumaki would.

Tears ran down Kushina's face as she was handed her son, which she craddled with weak arms as she smiled and cried at the same time. The doctors started working on her as she talked to him, mumbling about too much blood loss.

" Hey, Naruto, I-I did it. I got you into the world. B-but you might have to go it without me...I...I...I hope you grow up into a fine young man...and carry on the Uzumaki name for me..for us. Know...kn-know tha...that I'll always...l...love...you..."

The cries of an infant resumed as two doctors went into full panic mode.

*Next door*

Shizune burst into the room in a panic.

" Takehimtakehim takehimTAKEHIM!"

Tsunade looked at her protegé in confusion.

" What the hell's the matter?"

" He's hungry and he's confusing me for you!"

Tsunade was quickly handed her son as she snorted to herself, " Honestly Shizune! If you get that excited over breast feeding I might just make you a wet nurse just to torment you", she grouched as she pulled down her shirt and clamped her son on...then sent a warning finger at a quickly approaching Jiraiya.

" Not You!"

"Awww! Lucky little...anyways, I better see make sure Minato has things in hand. I'll be back to either help you to the house..or evacuate us out of Konoha."

Tsunade let out a humorless chuckle. She spent so much time trying to stay away from it, only to come back and possibly be forced to leave it again. What irony. She looked back at Jiraiya.

" Don't get killed out there or I'll Edo Tensei your ass and dress you as a geisha!", she threatened. She would too.

Jiraiya knew she would, but responded in JIraiya manner, " You haven't even managed to kill me yet. What makes you think some puny demon fox is? BWAHAHAHAHA-", he laughed as he ran away from the torrent of medical equipment being thrown at him. Once Tsunade ran out of steam, and stuff, she looked to Shizune.

" Go find out how Kushina's doing. She can't be fairing too well after what happened, and I don't trust those two idiots with anything more complicated than a papercut".

Shizune nodded and made her way out of the room.

*On the battlefield*

Jiraiya ran through the trees towards where Gamabunta had been. He pushed himself as hard as he could to get there after seeing that ominous light. What had that gaki done?

Instead of seeing a live Minato standing on the field of victory, he saw an Anbu looking ready to stab an infant. MINATO'S CHILD. His speed kicked up to 150% before jumping and shifting into a flying kick, which landed squarely into the Anbu's face, sending him crashing into a tree. This would have been good, had it not been for the second Anbu that was trying to punch the first, and ended up landing a blow on Jiraiya.

" OWIEEE!", Jiraiya yelped as his momentum and the punsh sent him spinning into the ground.

" J-Jiraiya-sama?¡"

" Obviously! What the hell were you punching at?¡", he wined and he picked himself off the ground.

" I was trying to stop Ka-err I mean Inu from stabbing sensei's son!", she justified, pointing at where Inu was. Both stared at him...his head was on crooked...

" Err, umm, shit. Guess I hit him too hard...one of the many casualties of the fox's rampage I guess.", he declared loudly, staring at the Anbu in the Tanuki mask. She "looked" reluctant...but considering what he was trying to do...

" Yeah. Too busy showboating to watch his back I guess", she replied. It wasn't that much of a loss to her anyways.

Dragon appeared less than a minute later and found out, " what happened", then left to take two genin into the hospital.

Jiraiya looked down at the infant in his dead father's arms. Minato had named him Naruto. " Rin"

Tanuki flinched at Jiraiya using her name while in uniform but he ignored it.

" Could you take Naruto for me? I'll catch up in a bit.".

She could hear emotion in his voice, " ...Hai", she replied quietly as she picked up the infant and disappeared.

Jiraiya was left looking down at his former pupil. He kneeled.

" Dammit gaki. You just had to surpass me in everything didn't you? Even death..I didn't...I didn't need to see another pupil come and go". Tears slid down Jiraiya's cheeks, even as he tried to will them not to. He cleared his throat and picked up Minato's body.

" But...at least I can be there for you in the end...I'll have to give your wife the bad news...heh...I might not be too far behind you". He tried lightening the mood. It didn't work too well. He caught up with Rin just on the edge of the village, and then made their way to the Hospital.

They were just starting to pour into the hospital. The wounded, the bigger volume of corpses, the mentally scarred. Luckily...no...unfortunately, they all fit in the Trauma wing and morgue, leaving the small maternity wing empty except for the screams, crying, shouts, and panic of the other parts of the hospital, echoing into the almost empty corridors.

Jiraiya had taken the main entrance, Tanuki taking a side entrance so as not to be seen with him and the baby. When he walked in, everything went quiet, even the wounded tried. They all stared at the motionless figure he held in his arms. He walked in until he found an empty gurney, and set the former Hokage on it. Looking to the nearest, less injured anbu, he motioned him towards him. " Take his body to an empty room and put an Anbu guard on him, then tell the Sandaime". The Anbu snapped to attention before grabbing up other Anbu who weren't disabled or critical and wheeling Minato's body off. Now he had the job of telling Kushina. He found Tanuki at the side entrance and motioned her to follow him into the maternity ward.

What he found there was an obviously distraught Tsunade, pacing around in the hallways with their son sleeping, tucked into her arms. She spied Jiraiya. Jiraiya could see anger and frustration in her features.

" What happened?"

" I sent Shizune to check on Kushina. Those two idiots mistook her for deceased and left her to the coroner!", she growled as she stared at two fresh holes in the wall at the end of the hallway.

Jiraiya had a sinking feeling, " I-is she alright?".

Tsunade looked back at him with sadness in her eyes, " She's alive...but the coma she's in right now is deep. Too deep for me to fix. She might not wake up Jiraiya. Kami, how are we going to tell Minato this?".

Jiraiya was silent as he stared at Tsunade with tears threatening to spill. She knew him too well.

" ...No...he...not both of them...Naruto! Is he alright?".

Jiraiya nodded and looked around for Tanuki. He found her in the viewing room dressing up Naruto. Jiraiya and Tsunade looked on through the viewing window. Jiraiya turned to Tsunade, his face set in grim determination.

"Hime...I need to...I mean, I'm his godfather...I can't just-"

" Neither of us can...I would have done it even if you didn't ask. For them...and for him...I just hope he has a chance to see his real mother", she replied as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Jiraiya pulled her into a hug, " Thank you Hime"

"Heh, Don't thank me yet. We have to raise them both now."

Jiraiya smiled down at her, " I'd go to hell and back, as long as it's hand in hand with you".

" ...W-well. Let's get Naruto and...ah...we haven't named him yet", she diverted her embarrassment to their son's predicament. " ...what about Minato?", Tsunade suggested.

Jiraiya looked downtrodden, " It's too fresh of a memory...what...what about...Nagato?".

Tsunade played with it, " Nagato...Senju Nagato...It's perfect. Nagato-chan, let's go get your brother and go home. I'm sure tomorrow is going to be hectic...for us anyways. You just get to sleep and eat for now". She talked to the baby as the two went into the viewing room to take Naruto as well, walking hand in hand.

*Omake 5*

In this exsistence, there are dimensions...

X-2

The Hokage had to wonder how chaotic the battlefield was for them. He nodded at the answer and turned his attention back to Dragon. " Is that all to report?". Dragon shook his head, " No Hokage-sama. The Coroner wished me to tell you that Kushina Uzumaki is alive". Sarutobi's eyebrows threatened to shoot off the top of his head, " What? Minato told me she was dead! How is this possible?" the Hokage barked in frustration, causing Naruto to wake up and start fussing.

Dragon had the decency to look startled, " H-he said that Kushina-san's life signs were so faint that the doctors in charge of her must not have been able to detect them. If the Coroner had gotten there a minute later, she might have slipped into a coma from her injuries. The lead doctors say she's stabilised, but it might be a while before she wakes up, considering her severe chakra exhaustion".

Hiruzen chuckled humorlessly. Chakra exhaustion indeed. It was only her healing abilities and chakra reserves that kept her alive through something like that...and THEN she survives long enough to get to the hospital, pump out a baby, die, and come back to life. Yeesh, no wonder it took two villages to take down Uzushiogakure.

Tanuki looked down at the infant in her arms.

" Well little guy, you're mommy is gonna make it! And we'll be there right when she wakes up! Until then, I'll watch over you".

" Umm, Tan-"

" I'll. Watch. Over. Him", she punctuated as her masked stared at the Hokage.

" Err, alright." the Hokage conceded.

" Oh. Another thing that we forgot to bring to your attention".

Desk ninja filed through the hallways of the Hokage Tower, bringing in updates on the situation and the like-

" HE TRIED TO WHAT?¡?¡".

Until they heard that. Then they all disappeared like roaches to light.

...

Her eyelids felt like sand paper and lead mixed together, so she kept her eyes shut as more senses came to her. Her body ached and felt numb at the same time, her tongue felt cold and like a piece of dry jerky. She tried stretching only for sharp pains to shoot up her body, which did a better job of restarting her body than anything, as she hiss away the pain.

Then she heard it. The gurggles of an infant. Her eyes shot open, only for her to tear up and squint at the harsh white flourescent lights. She searched with laggy vision for the source of the sound. She found it right next to her, laying on the bed and wriggling around, sunny blonde hair on his head, and blue eyes framed into a whiskered face, looking around at the world. Her eyes stung as tears flooder them, she looked up to see her husband's female student looking down at her with a tearful smile.

" Hey Kushina-san. Someone wants to meet you".

It couldn't be...but the mind believes what it wants to believe, and shuts out what it doesn't. She strained herself to take the infant into her arms as she sobbed in joy. He was alive!

"I'm never gonna let you go...never never never 'ttebayo", she whispered to the baby. She watched as he fell asleep in her arms. Her thoughts went from relief to worry once again.

" Rin...where's Minato?", she asked with a shake in her voice.

Rin gave her a sorrowful and apologetic look, " I'm sorry Kushina...he...died...sealing the Fox".

"...Ihi..into what?", she hiccupped.

Rin broke eye contact with Kushina and looked down at Naruto, giving her her answer.

" That idiot", she whispered harshly as her tears renewed, " It was hard enough keeping the secret that I had it...now...does anybody know?".

Rin's face grew weary, " The council does. Though the Sandaime threatened them well enough to keep them quiet...Kakashi..."

Kushina's eyes narrowed, " What about him?".

Rin could feel the danger in that sentence as she shivered. Kushina didn't like him. Never had. She always said she got a bad vibe off of him.

"W-well he tried to kill Naruto right after sensei died putting the seal on him. I prevented that...After I told the Sandaime about it, he called in Anbu to haul him in for questioning on his conduct through the whole event...they found him spreading the secret with people who didn't know. They can't execute him since the law hadn't be spread to him yet-"

Rin found Naruto put into her arms before Kushina started ripping off the monitors and IVs from herself. The hospital went into a frenzy as the redhead marched out of the hospital on the warpath, Rin keeping a safe distance away.

*Anbu holding cells*

Kakashi waited patiently. They couldn't hold him here forever. Technically, he had never broken any law that existed in the books, and with the shinobi population down to what it was, they needed him.

Someone didn't.

Yelling Anbu ran past his door, and then what sounded like a tidal wave. There was silence before stomping feet started making their way down the hall. They stopped right outside his cell door..before it blew inward off it's hinges by a giant glowing chain that embedded into the door and wall on the other end of the cell.

"Hatake..Kakashi", a voice growled ominously. Kakashi slowly looked back to the door to see something that made him shit,piss,vomit,choke, and cry all at the same time.

After all, he never thought he would be at the end of Kushina's wrath, and he had really fucked the pooch.

The screams reverberated across the village throughout the night.

The last two...meh, if someone wants to use them as starts for another story, by all means. I'm not going to turn them into anything, just glimpses along the way.


	16. Broken Blonds

* Almost a year later*

Naruto walked down the street. By himself! Well, okay, he knew he wasn't by himself. Kaa-chan always kept one of her "minions" on him at all times if she was sleeping, or working another side of the village. But hey, he could pretend alright?

Right now, he was going to the park to try, try, TRY, to find someone to play with. He hasn't had much luck so far, but then he could only travel so far from his apartment without hearing about it from Kaa-chan, so he only had one park that he could go to in his "sector", as Kaa-chan called it. The PX was in the same sector, though he only went there on the off hours to prevent any, "incidents", since not all ninjas had ninja families.

As the park came into sight, he deflated a little, seeing a bunch of kids playing that he tried the last few time. Either they were already warned to stay away from him, or their mothers did it for them. So those kids were already out.

With a grumble, he walked past them and into a more secluded part of the park, the nearby mothers trailing glares at him. As he kept walking, he saw someone in a small grove of trees. In curiosity, he walked towards them. The first thing he noticed was they had blonde hair, that was surprisingly lighter than his. Closer, he realized it was a girl by the skirt she was wearing. She seemed to be playing amongst some wildflowers. When Naruto was only a little ways away from her, she heard him and looked up at him curiously. When he saw the pupiless, sky blue eyes looking at him, one word came to mind.

" Pretty"

A second later, she turned red as a tomato and he realised he said it out loud. He quickly changed topics.

"H-hi, I'm Naruto. What's your name?"

The girl's blush lessened a bit before she responded, " Um. I'm Ino".

Contact established. Second stage, understand the target's activities.

" Sooo, what are you doing?"

" Um..just playing"

Activities identified. Third stage, put it in...ERROR...Share interest by requesting mutual participation.

" Can I play with you?". She looked at him with confusion and many other things,

"You...want to play with me?"

Naruto smiled, " Yeah. I like playing with pretty girls".

Ino didn't know whether to blush or be happy that her mother was wrong, " Okay!".

And so Naruto played with Ino as the mothers of the other children watched from a distance in disgust.

"Look at that _thing,_ fooling around with that girl"

"Why is her mother letting her play with it?"

"Where is her mother anyways?"

Naruto was currently playing doctor with Ino, listening to her heartbeat...but he didn't have one of those stetho things, so he just put his ear to her chest.

" Ah! There it is! Hmmm"

"Nani?", Ino asked curiously as she held up her shirt

"It's making a "badum badum" sound. That means your heart is good...what's that?", he asked, looking at a bruise around her arm. She did a complete 180° as she dropped her shirt and hid it from Naruto's view.

" Uh...I got it...fr-from climbing a tree", she stuttered. Naruto's confusion at her explanation was evident. He never got anything like that, and had climbed and, less frequently, fallen out of many trees.

" But it-"

"Ino!¡", a crass, feminine voice called loudly, which caused Ino to visibly flinch,

" Uh, I gotta go-"

" INO! Waht do you think you're doing next to that THING!¿". A very scary looking blonde woman came into view, marching towards them...well, trying to. She was stumbling every now and then.

" Get the hell away from her, you little-". Before she could do anything foolish, the Anbu that had been watching over Naruto jumped down into a crouch behind the two children. Ino's, obviously, mother stopped her trek towards the blondes in hesitation. She settled with yelling at Ino.

" Get over her NOW!".

Ino scurried her way over with a mumbled goodbye to Naruto, who was staring sadly as the two walked...well...Ino's mom drug her harshly by the arm, at a pace she couldn't keep up with. She looked absolutely miserable as she looked back, her mother shouting at her to stop dragging her feet.

As they disappeared from sight, Naruto's shoulders slumped, " I really wanted to be her friend", Naruto mumbled sadly.

A squishy hug from behind stopped those thoughts, " Aww, don't worry Naru-chan! We'll think of something".

Naruto was too busy basking in the breasts. Afterall, it wasn't Kaa-chan, so why not? Usagi didn't seem to mind...or notice. There was a reason the airheaded Anbu was "promoted" to In-house. Probably the same reason she was labeled "The Ditz". She was still perceptive...sometimes, knowing she should report this to Tanuki-taichou.

"Tanuki-taichou"

Rin's trained hearing caught the whisper of someone, even while she was on the edge of unconsciousness...

"Tanuki-taichou"

But it couldn't be...since none of her subordinates were dumb, psychotic, or ballsy enough to break into her apartment, and her bedroom, kneel by her bed and start whispering to her while she was asleep...

"~Tanuki-taichou~"

EXCEPT ONE

" Are you awake?"

BECAUSE SHE HAD DONE THIS BEFORE

" Usagi...an invasion better be happening...with at least two other villages.."

" Uh...Naru-chan made a new friend..."

"..."

Rin rolled over in bed to stare at Usagi, who quickly put up her hands in defense once she saw the visage of death.

"T-there's more to it than that!", she admitted to prolong her life. She wasn't THAT dumb.

By the time Usagi was done explaining, Rin was sitting on the edge of the bed, giving up on going back to sleep...and Usagi was coughing from the smoke from the cigarette Rin was rolling around between her teeth.

The girl sounded alot like Inoichi's daughter. Afterall, how many blondes with pupiless blue eyes were in Konoha? Traits she mostly got from her mother. Rin had only met the woman once, years ago, but even she would call her a bombshell. Lacked miles in the personality department though. Inoichi was letting something other than his heart make the decision to marry her. And now this...

"*sigh* Fine. I'll figure it out", Rin groaned, getting up to go get some coffee.

" You didn't leave Naruto in the park, di-..*SLAM*"

Naruto was blushing after Rin waltzed into the kitchen in nothing but her sleepwear, saw him, and jumped back into her bedroom.

" WAH!", Usagi was thrown out on her ass a second later.

" Tell me next time you bring him with you!", Rin shouted from behind the door.

*Then Next Day*

It would have been so much easier if Rin had just told Naruto to find someone else to play with, since Ino's mom seemed to be one of the ignorant masses that had a vendetta against Naruto, even though she was a shinobi once, and should know better. But when Rin told both the small blondes that she would keep an eye out for Ino's mom so they could play together, it seemed worth it to Rin as their eyes lit up, even though Ino seemed to be skittish around her.

So, Rin watched out as they played around. It was nice to see Naruto playing with someone else other than Kiba, which was more roughhousing than anything. Sure, there was also Hana...but Hana was...well...turning too much into her mother, as seen when Rin had to pick Hana up from sitting on Naruto's head.

Ino seemed to like plants and flowers, and Naruto followed right along like it was second nature. Right now, they were busy digging up wildflowers and replanting them elsewhere. Not a typical game, but constructive considering the little impromptu garden they had going. Plus, what else could they play and stay in one area? Doctor, apparently...or gynecologist...or urinologist...why were they comparing how far they could pee? It seemed Ino stumbled onto the bedpan trick cause she was just as good as Naruto.

Ino's mom stumbled into the park eventually, and Rin gave Naruto the signal to become scarce.

Rin had to consider something else was amiss when she observed, over a couple days, how harsh and aggressive Yamanaka Izumi was with Ino, even with Naruto not around, and sometimes not even drunk. Why the hell wasn't she watching over her daughter anyways? And why the hell was she drunk?

This was something more than an anti-Naruto angry mother. Rin would have to get a little more in depth the next time Ino was around. Until then-

" Kaa-chan. Why don't girls have a peepee?"

Ohhh boy...this talk already.

* A few days later*

It's not like Rin could whisk away Ino and do a diagnostic on her. There were laws against that. Archaic laws, but laws nonetheless. But she could happen to "find" something.

Rin mended Ino's scraped knee back together as the girl won the gold medal in looking like a scared statue. Rin figured the only reason she was able to get this close to her was because Naruto was there too. She seemed to have a fear of either females..or older females. Rin stared at the bottom of Ino's eye. As a tear from the pain ran down her cheek...it started turning skin colored. Rin pulled out a handkerchief and made to dry the tear. Ino was so intent on staring at the ground that she didn't notice the move until the cloth touched. She jolted back from the pain and the shock, but Rin had wiped enough to see the black eye under the makeup.

" That's quite a shiner you have. Where did you get that?", Rin asked.

" Uh...uh...I-I fell", Ino mumbled. Naruto looked at Ino strangely as Rin continued.

" Oh? Must have been a bad fall. Who helped you cover it up?"

"I...I can't say-"

" Ta-Rin-san! Staggering Harpy is in the Playpen!", a harsh whisper came from the trees above them.

Rin grabbed up Naruto and joined Usagi up in the tree. Ino knew what that meant as she, very reluctantly, got up.

Rin didn't leave, she kept Naruto quiet as they observed the two on the ground. As soon as Izumi spied the half revealed black eye, her demeanour went even more south, quickly grabbing Ino by the hair.

" Did you show anybody?", she growled.

" Mommy you're hurting me-!"

" DID. YOU. SHOW ANYBODY!"

" N-No!"

" You better not be lying or so help me I'll do worse to you brat!"

Rin could feel killing intent used. Not much, but enough to mask what was leaking out of Rin's strained composure. Usagi was physically trying to tune it out while still holding something, and Naruto...As soon as Izumi left, dragging Ino back with her, Rin could pick up the KI coming off of him as well. Not much, but for a 5 year old to be able to show killing intent...

It was soon dwarfed as Rin's came full force as she rounded and planted a hard punch into the trunk of the tree they were in, stewing in what had just happened.

"What did the tree ever do to you?", she heard Naruto admonish her. She looked at him incredulously.

" You just watch your friend get abused and you're worried about a damn tree?",

Naruto crossed his arms. " Because I know your going to fix that. You can't fix the tree though".

Rin looked at him in surprise. He knew she was going to do something about it? She looked at where her fist impacted the tree to see broken bark and splinters.

" It took it at least 60 years to grow that big and you try to break it in half for no good reason. Trees are living things too you know"

" Alright, alright. I'm sorry I tried felling your pet tree, Plant Boy". Honestly, she would probably get less flak from Hashirama if he was still alive.

*The next day*

Rin had enough evidence, Usagi recording the whole thing, to hand it to the KPF, but she had to wonder if Inoichi knew about it. She decided to confront him first.

" Ohayo!", the strangely familiar woman greeted the two gawking blonde kids.

" Guys, this is Taiga. She'll be watching you while I do something-"

" Watching over you like the normal civilian babysitter that I so obviously am"

" ...Err..right. Anyways, don't break her too fast".

Taiga sweatdropped, " I'm sure we'll have plenty of fun". They were just two five year olds afterall...

*At Konoha Military Torture and Interrogation Facility*

Rin had only been here a couple times in her life. surprising really, considering her job, but prisoners were either taken directly to the Anbu Prisoner Facility and then transferred to T&I, or the morgue...and sometimes all three.

Even now, she mainly dealt with the KPF.

It wasn't a big loss in Rin's mind. The people who tended to work there were either creepy, eccentric, sadistic, or just plain psycho.

...or perverted

Rin gawked as both Inoichi and Ibiki stared intensely through a two way mirror, at the interrogation of what appeared to be a female Kumo nuke-nin...by a leather clad dominatrix.

"What...the fuck?"

Neither of them even took their eyes off the scene.

" The subject showed a high level of discomfort from even slight contact with other females. So we dolled up Risa to exploit it", Ibiki supplied.

"Snip snip snip, let's see what you look like under these rags"

" STOP TOUCHING ME YOU DISGUSTING BITCH!"

"Ah, there goes your top~. What cute, tiny boobs you have!"

" I'M GONA KILL YOU FUCKER! GET AWAY FROM ME!¡"

Rin shook out of her shocked daze as she tried speaking above the screaming.

" Inoichi. I need to talk to you in private"

Inoichi turned around with an annoyed expression until he saw who it was. " Rin-san? What is it about?"

Rin put on a stern expression, " Some of your family matters that have come to my attention.

Inoichi's face dropped.

" YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHI-GMUM-MMM!"

"So noisy. That'll take care of that. Now let's see what you taste like. Probably haven't even let a man do this. All I do is open my mouth and aaaah-agm!"

" GUHGGH!¡!"

* In a review room*

The tape ended, turning the monitor into static, as Inoichi rested his face in his hands. Rin knew he didn't know as soon as he saw what Izumi had done. The look of shock on his face was clear enough.

" Could...could you leave me? I need to think through this". He finally replied. He didn't sound like that man that walked into the room, that's for sure. He wasn't expecting this. Another drunk and disorderly complaint, sure...but this...

Rin sighed as she pulled the tape out of the player. " Sure. But you better act on it Inoichi. Otherwise I will hand it over entirely to the KPF tomorrow."

Inoichi nodded his acquiescence as Rin walked out of the room.

Inoichi stewed in silence until his fists slammed into the table. As much as he wanted to deny it, it was all there right in front of him.

He'd love to chalk it up to post natal depression...but...the sad truth was that she didn't want to have Ino to begin with. It was only the fact that Ino would be the clan heir that kept her from even trying for an abortion, unless she wanted the clan's wrath against her.

Life at the Yamanaka household spiraled downward after that. She showed a complete disinterest in raising Ino from day one. Inoichi had to admit she was a bitch before the birth. After, she became a super bitch, and her drinking didn't help.

Some cold hearted, selfish pieces of shit would blame Ino's presence as the problem. Inoichi would physically have to disagree. Inoichi had practically raised her by himself, and could say in confidence that between his wife and Ino, Ino came first.

Which is why he was now looking down at the divorce papers he had filed for a month ago. He had been reluctant to break up whatever semblance of family there was in their household...now...she was going to sign the damn things, even if Inoichi had to stick splinters under her fingernails to do it!

Inoichi got up from the table and made his way back to the interrogation.

He found both Ibiki and Risa in the room.

" Good news Inoichi. The prisoner cracked wide open", Ibiki supplied as Risa grinned smugly.

Inoichi's reaction was distant and distracted, " Great...Listen, I have something important I need to see to. You can take full credit for this", he explained as he walked out of the room, two confused stares at his back.

" Maybe his family problems are catching up to him", Risa guessed.

Ibiki grumbled as he ran a hand through his hair, " They were going to eventually. He shouldn't have let them go as long as he did. Anyways, we have to document all the info and get her ready to ship back to Kumo".

" Awww, come on, can't I keep her? They'll just put her head on the chopping block as soon as she's through the gates. It'd be a waste!", Risa complained.

They would too. As soon as Konoha caught her, whatever leniency she might have gotten was lost. It's not like the Konoha/Kumo was all that honored anyways, considering what happened...

" Sure! She's all yours. But you take responsibility for her", Ibiki responded with his evil smirk.

Risa pranced around in joy in her outfit, before going into the next room.

" Guess what. I get to keep you as my pet forever and ever!"

" GUUUGH!"

" I know! We're going to have so much fun training you, and getting you new outfits, and getting you a new little cage to sleep in-"

Ibiki shook his head. Who knew Risa was such a natural? Tsume better watch out or she might have competition.

*with Rin*

Rin walked back into the park to see a sight so shocking, she had to do a double take.

Afterall...how the hell did two five-year olds manage to tie up an Anbu?

Naruto was currently in the process of extracting information from her.

" HAHAHA STO-HAHAHAHA-STOP!", she cried out between laughs as Naruto tickled her.

" Admit it! You're Usagi!"

" N-HAHAHAHA-NEVER!"

" Oi! Naruto! I told you not to break her!"

" HE-HAHAHA-HELP SEMPAI!"

*Hidoi*

"Hidoi!", Taiga pouted as Rin started freeing her.

" It's what you get! I told you to watch out for them, NOT TAKE A NAP AND LET THEM TIE YOU UP. Where the heck did you even learn shibari?", Rin questioned frustratingly at Naruto, still having a hell of a time trying to undo the knots.

" From the book Usagi gave me to read when we were at your house".

Rin's eyes shot right back to the still tied Taiga.

"I-I didn't know what it was! I just gave it to him to distract him-WAH!", she cried out as Rin pulled her onto her lap.

" YAA! Don't spank me again EEEK!".

"This is what you get for corrupting my son!", Says the woman spanking another woman who was tied up. Naruto just stared, mouth agape...Maybe he should tie her up more often.

Rin paused and looked to Naruto, " Wait...where's Ino?...Naruto!", she shouted out, jolting him from lala land.

" Uh, her mom never showed up, so she went home by herself a little while ago", Naruto supplied.

" She never showed up? Maybe she went into the wrong place slobbering drunk and ended up in the Drunk Tank", Rin thought. It might be a good little respite for Inoichi to do what he needed to do.

*Near the Yamanaka household*

Ino plodded down the streets, wishing she was still at the park. She didn't like being in that house with just her mother there, but she knew that if she wasn't home soon, it would be worse for her than the usual ranting about how worthless she was...and that she and daddy were happier before she was born.

It was strange that she didn't pick her up from the park. Usually she did before her dad got home, no matter how drunk she got.

What she didn't know, is that her mother HAD gone to pick her up...and subsequently saw, off in the distance, her playing with Naruto again, after being told not to.

Ino entered the house to find all the lights off.

"Mom? I'm home.", she squeaked as she started searching the house...though...she didn't really want to find her.

"M-Mom?". She found her alright, in a darkened doorway. A look of rage on her face, a bottle of sake in one hand, and her other raised in a fist before it came down, making Ino see stars.

*Near the Yamanaka household*

Inoichi plodded down the road, staring down at the forms in his hand. Single fatherhood. The end of his illusion of a happy little family...not that he had much of one to begin with. Izumi had been insufferable these last few years. Afterall, Inoichi filed for these before he even knew there was a problem with her and Ino. One man could only take so much name calling, belittling, target practice (as horrible as hers was), and sexless life, before finally throwing the offending object away. Dark thoughts indeed.

Inoichi would be lying if he said his brain did all the decision-making in the early years of this relationship.

Hindsight was 20/20. And that hindsight clearly stated that he should have never broken up with Kaori, even if she was a little more...eccentric. She, at least wasn't abusive.

...Manipulative, evil, and possessive, yes...but then that was part of her charm... or something.

Missed chances, come and gone...some mind expert he turned out to be.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the gate of his front yard fly open. He looked to see Ino running out of the yard with her face covered by her hands. She ran at top speed away from the house.

He rushed over to where she came out...and found blood on the ground. His stomach turned to lead as he started scanning the streets for Ino. Not seeing her...he just started following the spots of blood on the ground. They seemed to lead towards the park.

"How does he get ice cream, and I get spanked?", Taiga pouted as they sat on a bench.

Rin stopped eating hers as her forehead ticked, " Because you didn't do your job!".

" I was tied up!"

"Because you took a nap!"

"But the sun was so nice!"

"You're not a cat! Learn to sleep during normal hours!"

" But you kept me up all last ni-gmm!", Taiga finished with a hand over her mouth and Rin giving her a warning glare.

Taiga sulked to herself before turning to Naruto, " Uh..can I have a little taste?", she pleaded.

"Sure", he replied with a blush, and then held the cone up so she could take a few licks...then he could take a few licks...then her...then him. Rin palmed her face, contemplating giving her a cone just so she could ignore how tainted Naruto already was.

"Hey! That's Ino!", Naruto exclaimed as he dropped the ice cream to point at her, the ice cream landing into Taiga's cleavage. She was a Hyuga afterall.

"Eeek!".

Rin was too busy watching Ino run to a little grove of trees. As soon as Naruto took after her, Rin followed. Taiga was too busy cleaning the ice cream off her tits.

They heard bawling as they drew closer. She was also covering her face with her hands...which were covered in blood. Rin went full medic mode as she dropped down next to her and had Naruto help calm her down so she could get a look at her. Once she did, she cringed. Her nose was definitely broken, among the bruises and swelling that adorned her face.

Before Rin got to healing, she felt a presence behind her. She turned to see Inoichi looking at the condition of Ino in horror. He helped Ino calm down while Rin healed her, finding out redundantly that " Mommy hit her".

Once he was sure she would be fine, he left Ino in Rin's care as he made his way in the direction of the KPF. It took Rin another half an hour to get the swelling to go away and properly reset Ino's nose. After that, the girl turned back into her skittish nature, actually keeping Naruto between her and Rin. Rin just accepted it and decided to make their way back to Inoichi.

When Rin and her group walked to the house to see what was going on, it was to see a freshly smacked around Izumi, being dragged out of the house by Inoichi and into the KPF's hands. They all watched as Izumi was escorted off, glaring back at them as Rin and Inoichi glared right back

" What are those?", Rin distracted, staring down at the papers in his hand. He looked at them.

" Divorce papers. I should have made her sign them alot sooner", he responded as he looked down to his sobbing daughter. He wrapped her in a hug and comforted her.

" It's alright Ino. You never have to see your mother again"

" *Sniff* N-never?"

" Nope. Never. It's just you and me now".

" *Sniff* I'm sorry Daddy"

He made Ino look him in the eyes, " You did nothing wrong. She did. You should have told me what was happening and I would have put and end to it sooner"

Rin made her presence known again.

" What are you going to do now Inoichi?"

He looked up at Rin, " I have a good amount of vacation time saved up. I think it's time to spend it with my daughter, especially with what happened".

Rin nodded, " Well then. Hopefully we meet next time on better terms. I hope Ino recovers too."

Inoichi nodded as he got up, " Thank you Rin. If you hadn't stumbled upon what was happening, who knows how long it might have gone on...considering how blind I wanted to be to the possibility...". He looked sadly at Ino before picking her up and making their way back into the house.

" Kaa-chan..when am I going to see Ino-chan again?", Naruto asked as they made their way back to Naruto's apartment.

" Let them have some time to themselves Naru-chan. They just went through a bad event...one that could have been avoided if SOMEONE had done their job", she finished loudly, causing the ravenette behind the two to flinch.

Rin let it drop. What was done was done. That being said, Rin picked Naruto up under arm.

" Let's speed this up. It's getting late and I'm tired as hell", Rin proclaimed. She hadn't gotten to sleep at all yet after all. Unknownst to her, this event was stewing inside Naruto's mind as they hopped across the rooftops.

A month later, when he went back to the Yamanaka house, he found it completely empty and for sale. Apparently, they had moved back to the Yamanaka district, which was on the other side of Konoha from where he lived. Kaa-chan said he might see her in a few years when he grows up more. That did little for the fact that he didn't have a friend he could see daily. He life grew more strained as he tried to soldier through the hatred directed towards him. Soon enough, people would find out that he was not "all forgiving" or "ever patient".

Naruto had a fuse.

*Omake 1*

In this existence, there are dimensions.

*Year 3 AK. X1*

Jiraiya stood on the roof of their house...

Many a ninja can be seen on the tops of houses, but none were dressed like..well...a giant, red, jolly man.

Christmas found it's way into the elemental nations thanks to the missionaries from foreign lands. While many didn't take to that strange ass religion they kept preaching, mostly because of their asinine presumption that they were all sinners and going to hell, the prospect of a holiday that promoted peace, family, good will, and good natured hedonism sounded like a great idea.

That, and the toy companies started catching on and targeted promotions straight to kids. The poor parents didn't know what hit them. Thus, the image of an proudly obese man in the fluffiest and strangest kimono anyone had ever seen was adopted as well.

And who better to dress up as the guy than Jiraiya?

So, here he was, the night of Christmas Eve and looking down the chimney of their fireplace. He had done some ballsy stuff before, but this...

At least he made sure there was no fire lit in the fireplace. He wasn't stupid.

Probably would have helped if he had cleaned out the chimney though. These were his thoughts as he was already inside.

*In the house*

"What the hell is he doing?", Tsunade mumbled as she sat in the living room, Naruto and Nagato drawing on the floor. He had told her to make sure the kids were in the living room until he "came back".

And then she heard rustling coming from the chimney.

Nagato and Naruto perked up.

Tsunade palmed her face, 'Oh no, he isn't.."

"Santa?", Naruto asked nobody? Nagato clumsily got up and looked into the chimney.

That's when Jiraiya got stuck, and started grumbling noisily as he tried to free himself.

To the two small boys, something was growling inside the chimney.

Nagato backed away, and Naruto got up.

The "growling" came in spurts between groans of frustration and maniacal laughs of success.

And, finally, with a roar to the world, "Santa's" soot and sweat covered face burst down into the chimney.

"HO! HO! HO!"

"AAAAHHHH!", was the response as the two brothers ran screaming out of the room in horror, and Tsunade laughed her ass off as Jiraiya tried to free himself fully from the chimney...the family dog licking his face for his troubles.

" Come back! I have presents-stop licking my face you stupid dog! Tsunade, stop laughing and help!"

Sure, he could break the chimney, but then he'd have to fix it.

* A while later*

" I think you traumatized them", Tsunade informed him as he wiped the soot off his face.

" It could have gone better, yes", he replied curtly in disappointment.

" What made you come up with that anyways?", she asked in amusement.

" *sigh* Just wanted to give them a happy childhood I guess, since mine sucked so bad"

" Being an orphan would be a bad childhood for anybody Jiraiya, but they're not".

Jiraiya looked up at her in confusion, " Orphan?".

Tsunade's surprise was evident, " You..you're not an orphan?"

Jiraiya chuckled. Now she finally asks about his past. "Technically, no. I had a father...sort of".

He could see the prompting in her eyes to continue.

" From age one to 10 to be exact. Apparently shoved into his hands by my biological mother. Most of the time, he was either drunk, or womanizing. The mother figure was played in part by whatever stripper or prostitute he picked up that month and said " this is your new mommy". He kept me around to either watch the house while he was gone for days on end, or help him snag some other girl with the "single father sympathy" card...I'm pretty sure I have some half brothers or sisters out there somewhere... Anyways. Not much of a bond, never any abuse...just kinda like I didn't exist as his son. There were a few times I associated with "love" between some of the "moms"...and later found out were just women with a shota complex. Joined the academy, and then when I was 10, he just..stopped coming back home. I don't know where he went, dead in a ditch somewhere or off gallivanting with other women in some other country..who knows. Got into our team and didn't look back.".

Tsunade could see the dots all connect now. It explained so much.

" I think you would have been better off an orphan", Tsunade mumbled, reeling in all this.

Jiraiya chuckled, " Probably...but then I wouldn't be the man I am today"

"...Oh! You're counting that as a good thing. Gotcha."

" Oh har har"

" Dad? Why are you covered in black stuff?", Nagato asked as he poked his head around the corner, Naruto right behind him.

" Uh..Santa got stuck in the chimney, so I had to help him out"

The two three year olds seemed to buy it.

" That was Santa? He was scary!".

" Well, yeah! Why do you think he usually waits until you're asleep. He gets dirty going down all those chimneys."

" You'd think he'd learn shunshin...so he can just poof into the fireplace without having to go down it", Tsunade commented/prodded, making Jiraiya really want to hit his head on something.

" Anyways, he just left. But he left me this bag of presents!"

" Presents!", both the boys shouted as they clamped onto their father.

" Nooo! He's all full of soot...guuuh", Tsunade slumped as the three dirty males looked at her curiously.

Jiraiya got an idea. And awful idea. Jiraiya got a wonderful awful idea.

" I think mommy needs a hug before we open presents! Get her!".

Tsunade jumped back as the three charged after her.

" Oi! Get away! I don't need to be covered in that. Ack!", she half complained as she dodged her sons only to get caught from behind by Jiraiya, and then tackled completely by the other two.

" Awww, feel the love"

" All I feel is the dirt smearing onto me!".

"Now Okaa-san is one of us!".

" This isn't one of your zombie movies Naruto!"

This went on until the front door burst open.

" ~Maerriiiee Krishimasuuu~!", Shizune bellowed, obviously drunk off her ass.

" Oi oi! Don't go barging into other people's houses Shizune", her roommate Rin complained as she followed the inebriated woman in. The two were living together thanks to Tsunade basically giving Shizune the bad news that she wasn't going to be living with them.

It worked out pretty well...like quarreling sisters.

" Doncha go dica...dickum...dickamatating shtuff jus cause you still havuh boy thing."

Tsunade looked to Rin for a translation, who shrugged.

" Genma broke up with her yesterday", Rin supplied as Shizune started mumbling incoherently and crying. Rin relooked the family over.

"Why are you all covered in soot?".

The family looked and eachother...then smirked.

"Hug 'em!"

And so, the Senju's and company chased each other around, opened presents, and conversed in soot covered fashion.

" Oooh, Shishooo! You should ah..hah..haaave somofthis!", Shizune garbled out as she held a bottle of Fire Country's finest sake.

Imagine everyone's shock when Tsunade turned down the offer.

She looked around at everyone gawking at her.

" What? It's not like it's just MY body I have to watch out for now", she replied with a mischievous smirk.

Everybody looked puzzled, until their jaws dropped. Especially Jiraiya's.

And so went the first celebration of Christmas at the Senju's, with the prospect of many more to come.

I'll probably add some more Omake's tomorrow, you know, if Armageddon doesn't happen or anything. If it does, I'll be too busy going Mad Max around the Great Frozen Plains, stealing womenz for my harem to update to a bunch of dead people and potentially stolen womenz. If it doesn't, my plans are shot for the near future so I'll probably have an update by this Sunday.

Peace...fuck peace. WAR!


	17. Merry king Christmas

Well, the world hasn't gone in the shitter, I'm haremless, and I had to pay 90 fucking dollars for three 30 round AR mags because of the "Scary Gun Ban" proposal.

Pity me...no wait, don't pity me. At least I have the AR to go with the mags. Some of you poor bastards who are just turning 18, haven't had the sheer joy of owning such a possession.

But I digress.

I said more omake's and I meant it. I had the best one all typed up last night in doc manager. Just typing up the last lines and my mouse slid off my chair arm rest and hit the back button, erasing it. Stupid fucking mouse. So, I'm going to type it up again. Praise me...no, I mean it.

Omake 2

Kushina's face scrunched up in assessment.

Konoha, and Fire country in general, had an obvious lack of coniferous trees, which were more abundantly found in Lightning and Snow country, and nobody had thought about profiting in exporting them yet.

Thus Kushina had to make do with what she had.

So she decorated Kakashi.

Why wasn't Kakashi complaining about being decorated?

Why, because he was freeze dried of course.

Why was Kakashi freeze dried?

So Kushina could forever see the look of sheer terror on his face before she tortured him mercilessly, finally ending his life days later.

The Hokage overlooked it, because of the sacrifices, trauma, and services rendered by the family, but mostly because he didn't like Kakashi. Not as bad as Gai, but a very close second. His "tardiness" didn't help either.

He was obligated to have Kushina's mental health checked after he found out what she finally did with Kakashi, but with "sane" being such a broad term on the charts of the psychiatrists, especially in a ninja village, she had passed and taken her new statue home.

"Honestly Kushina. It was bad enough when you had him stuffed. Now you're decorating him?", Mikoto argued, sitting on the couch with Naruto and Sasuke as they stretched eachother's face in some new spat.

"Why not? All he does is stand around all day. Besides, he looks more festive and cheerful this way!", she argued as she finished covering him in tinsel, lights, and ornaments. Though, he was great for reminding the ignorant masses why not to mess with her family when they started getting brave again.

"Now all we have to do is plug him in!", she chirped as she plugged in the lights.

Mikoto wanted to cry from the wrongness of it all. For Kami's sake, he was twinkling! Saske and Naruto stared wideeyed at the "tree", their faces still stretched by the other.

" Who wants to put on the star?"

"**No!**"

"*Grumble* Fine. I will", Kushina pouted as she stuck the star onto one of Kakashi's spikes of hair.

"There! Isn't it beautiful?"

Words escaped the three on the couch, among other things.

*Knock Knock*

"Oh? Who could that be?", Kushina questioned as she went to answer the door, the three still gawking at the "tree".

"Shisturei shimasu!", Rin proclaimed as soon as the door was opened, and promptly grappled into a hug.

"Rin-chan! Where have you been? We haven't seen you in months!"

" Well, you know Anbu. Busy, busy, bu-sy", Rin wheezed out thanks to the hug, gasping for air as Kushina let go and looked up and down the girl.

" You're not on medical leave are you? Did you get injured? You look skinnier than last time. Have you been eating enough? You've been eating nothing but soldier pills haven't you? Well not while I'm around!", Kushina exclaimed as she drug Rin into the apartment. It was commonplace. She saw Rin more as an older daughter than anything else. When Kushina lost her support structure in Minato's death, and Tsunade's and Jiraiya's self exiles, she held onto whatever bonds she had that much harder.

Rin's first sight was the Christmas "tree". " Kushina, it was bad enough you stuffed him, why di-deh...", he words died on her throat as she laid eyes on Mikoto.

" Ohayo Rin-chan. You're looking paler than usual. _How's your sister doing?_", Mikoto greeted her with a sickeningly sweet smile until the end, when her eyes shaded and her voice when down a few octaves.

Thanks to Kushina's testimony of a rogue Uchiha with one eye being the culprit of the loss of control, the Uchiha clan had quickly backed up the claim and pledge full support in any attempts to find and kill the man. Thus, the suspicion and repercussions never gained momentum.

Especially with the scandal that rocked the clan a year later.

Poor Mikoto had walked in on her husband having wild, kinky, pig sex with none other than Inuzuka Tsume.

The divorce happened shortly after.

Since Fugaku was still the clan head, he kept the house and Itachi (the heir), while she got a lump of money and Sasuke, since he didn't show as much promise as Itachi did. Mikoto moved out of the district after that, having no real relations with the other members and hearing too much about how she should have "Sucked it up".

That was three years ago. The two now had a daughter...you know...the daughter SHE WANTED TO TRY FOR!

"Uh..she's...fine", Rin muttered out nervously.

"...Oh...I see"

"Honestly Mikoto! Rin didn't take your husband so stop scaring her. It was an arranged marriage anyways! Considering how much they quarreled in the academy, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooonnn...I'm going to shut up now", Kushina claimed wisely, seeing the ominous stare pointed at her by Mikoto.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

" Oh! Someone's at the door!", Kushina proclaimed, thanking Kami for the distraction.

Until she opened the door to see a very familiar person dressed up in a Santa outfit.

" Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry GACK!"

" Jiraiya! Where the hell have you been?¡", Kushina roared at her late husband's sensei as she had him in a headlock.

" Hey! I only found out two weeks ago that you were even alive!", the man tried calming the redhead down.

" And what about Naruto? Were you just going to leave him here alone and shirk off your obligations?¡ WOAH!".

Kushina found herself bodily picked up and staring into the serious expression of Jiraiya.

" Kushina, I had just lost my fourth student and my own son in the same night. Do you think I was in any shape to take care of a baby?"

...Okay...he may have a valid point.

" Besides, with the Sandaime watching over him, and his status under tight wraps like yours, I knew he wouldn't have it too bad until I came back."

Under wraps?...Oh

" It was leaked Jiraiya!"

His shock was evident

" What?¡ By who?"

" Kaka-baka"

Well, fuck. Jiraiya never did like that little bastard.

" Well, I'm here now. He's at least been getting the monthly allowances I've been sending, right?"

It was one of the reasons Kushina hadn't decked his halls as soon as she saw him. She was notified by the Hokage that an account had been set up in Naruto's name, and sizable sums being deposited monthly. It was actually what they were living off of right now. At least he hadn't shirked his duties completely.

" yes, and at least you came back instead of waiting until he was a teenager or something", she grudgingly admitted.

"Err indeed I have...and I even brought presents for all!"

"But it's more than just-"

"Presents for all!"

"How could you possibly-"

"Presents! For All!"

Creepy fucker

"Fine! Whatever! Get your butt in there!", she grouched as she pushed his face away and then pushed him into the living room.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry-WHATTHEHELLISTHAT?¡", he proclaimed as he laid eyes on the "tree".

"It's Santa! I told you he was real!", Naruto proclaimed to Sasuke, who was making a perfect impression of a fish.

Rin and Mikoto were gawking at "Santa" in confusion.

" That WAS the leak"

" You killed him, stuffed him, and turned him into a Christmas tree?¡ Have you had a mental evaluation lately?"

" Three actually!"

Jiraiya palmed his face. He had to admit though that it was an amusing end to the little prick. He looked much more festive as well. Mamayo.

" Anyways. I see two little boys, and three big girls in here. So have you all been good this year?"

Naruto: Considering the ratio of days good to days bad...pretty good?

Sasuke: A good portion of the year

Rin: Uuuh..sure, I guess

Mikoto: Apparently not good enough

Kushina: Don't even look at me

"...I'll take that as a resounding "Yes"! First we start off with the lovely Uchiii...Mikoto-san.", he corrected as he handed her a present from the bag he brought.

She opened it to find-

" So you can keep the next one "in line""

A dominatrix outfit.

Mikoto smiled menacingly at "Santa", " You sure do love to dance with death, don't you?"

Jiraiya took it in stride, " Yep! But you have to have nimble feet. Now for the lovely Rin-chan!", he turned to her as a kunai whizzed past his head.

He handed her an envelope.

" Figured you could use some relaxation when not on the job."

It was a gift certificate good for 3 "Exclusive Sessions" at the Gokan Treatment Spa.

"I-isn't that the place that's infamous for it's forced orgasm porn?", she mumbled to herself.

" I wouldn't know anything about that, and am shocked that you do", Jiraiya waved it off. In the meantime, Naruto had helped himself to Santa's bag.

"Is this my present?", he asked while already opening it up.

"What? No wait! That's the Sandaime's!"

" Cool! It's Icha! Icha! volume 5!", Naruto cheered. Sasuke instantly perked up.

" No way! It's not even in stores yet!"

Jiraiya looked at the two mothers in confusion, gaining frustrated shrugs for his effort, before snatching the book up before they could even start reading it.

" Don't think so. THESE are your presents", he said, dropping two big boxes on the floor.

They opened them to find them filled with-

" Smuggled them from Iwa myself. If you can't hit a target with these, you should give up"

Sets upon sets of kunai and shuriken.

" Woah! We'll never have to buy any ever again!".

"Unless you gamble them all away", Sasuke prodded.

" Pfft. I almost never lose. Watch out or I'll win your set too."

Gambling too?¿ Yeesh this kid had some bad habits. What next, smoking? Whatever.

Jiraiya looked to Kushina.

" I don't want it"

" Sure you do Kushi-chan- *TWITCH*- I even upgraded it!", he proclaimed as he handed her a rather heavy present.

She reluctantly started to open it until she saw the outside of the box...

"For those lonely nights"

It was a realistic male sex doll

"...JIRAIYA!¡", she roared, finding him already crawling out a window.

" Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good SHIT!", he proclaimed as he started jumped out and started dodging missiles while jumping across the rooftops.

Once she ran out of steam, she looked back to the others. Mikoto was eyeing up her present. Rin was looking at the gift certificate with a blush, and the two boys were trying their new toys out on the Kakashi Tree.

" Ooh, crap. I think I hit him in the jewels".

" Nah. Mom ripped those off while he was still alive"

"Alright alright. Now that I've scared off "Santa", let's get something to eat. I'm starving 'ttebane".

**"Haaaii"**

And so, the impromptu little group celebrated Christmas.

Later that night, Kushina turned off Kakashi as she got ready for bed, Naruto already tucked in...and reading the Icha Icha volume 5 he found under his pillow, much like Sasuke did.

As she started walking to her room, her eyes caught the package that pervert had given her.

She stared at it for close to 5 minutes until, with a full face blush, she quickly looked around, grabbed it, and ran off to her bedroom.

A while later, if someone were in the living room, they would hear someone's muffled talking.

" Uwah! It moves by itself! How can-woahWOAH. Wait! Not this position you whackamamy manne-ha! ~Haaaah~"

There! I did it!

Oh wait...I just came up with another one.

In this existence, there are dimensions..

Naruto screwed up his face in disgust. Who wouldn't when you were handling a pile of SOMEONE ELSE'S dirty underwear.

Kakashi-sensei had gotten them to the mission office later than usual that day, which meant all the missions were already handed out.

Did that mean they had a day off? A day to get their own stuff done? A day where Kakashi actually trained ALL of them for a damn change?

Nope.

Instead. He filed a D-rank on his own behalf.

Clean out his apartment.

They all knew he was sloppy...but this...

" This is disgusting 'ttebayo!", Naruto complained as he dropped the pile into the laundry room, which was "officially appointed" to Sakura's duties.

" I'm shocked to say, I agree with you", Sakura...agreed...as she dabbed more of her perfume onto a rag around her neck.

" And where the hell is the Teme? I haven't seen him since we got here...Sakura-chan?"

She was too busy staring in horror at the pile of underwear Naruto brought in to even hear his nickname for Sasuke. " I..have to wash...his underwear?¡", she shrieked.

" Right? They don't even look like men's underwear! They're thongs!", he complained.

" How would you know what thongs look like?"

"...Wellgottagetbacktowork!", Naruto blurbbed as he quickly left the laundry room.

" Oi!...forget it.", Sakura prepared herself for the worst and picked up the pile to put in the wash. "EEEEEWWWW!"

* A couple hours later*

" This is so not worth D-rank pay", Naruto grumbled as he scrubbed at a spot of...something...on the floor in Kakashi's bedroom.

" This isn't even worth B-rank pay", Sakura growled as she scrubbed frustratingly at another spot of...something.

"Mah, mah. Don't start complaining this early, you still have a ways to go", Kakashi chided as he laid on his bed while reading his book. He had sent Sasuke off to "do something".

Naruto grumbled to himself as he stared up at Kakashi, until he saw a picture above Kakashi's bed.

" Ara? Who are they, Kakashi-sensei?", Naruto asked, pointing at the picture.

" Hmm? Oh, they're my genin team, Obito, Rin, and Minato-sensei".

This should have wowed Naruto, but after finding out he was a little too ingrained into the Yondaime's infamous final act...

" What were they like?", Sakura asked curiously, looking for a break from scrubbing.

Kakashi sighed as he gave up on reading, " They were much like you three. In fact Naruto is alot like Obito, and you're alot like Rin. Sasuke is alot like I was too. It's like watching the past walk in front of me."

The two nodded...then paused.

" So..what happened to them?", Naruto asked.

Kakashi scratched his head sheepishly, " Well...I kinda got Obito killed...and then I accidentally murdered Rin on a mission".

Pure silence.

" Oh..on a totally unrelated topic..you don't have any kekei genkai that can be transfered to another person, do you Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head so fast, he felt like he was going to throw up..or maybe that was something else.

" Ah...mamayo. Anyways, you two better get back to cleaning".

Oh they did alright. The apartment was clean in less than two hours.

*Later that day*

Sasuke had reappeared after doing the "something" that Kakashi had sent him off to do. Probably training...Naruto didn't care.

" Well, thanks for cleaning up my little abode. I think you two deserve tomorrow off. Ja ne *POOF*"

As soon as Kakashi left, Naruto bolted back towards the Hokage Tower.

This was, Sakura's cue-

" Oi! Wait for me!"

To chase after him?¿

"Hn, whatever", Sasuke said to himself as he walked off in the other direction.

Unknownst to him..

*At the Hokage tower*

Hiruzen looked down in confusion at the two genin clamped onto his legs-

" Please Jiji, you gotta get me off that team. He's gonna kill me!"

"You? You're not the one he compared to the female teammate he "accidentally murdered"! I don't wanna die!"

-Apparently, they found out what happened to Kakashi's old team.

" And he compared himself to Sasuke! That's it! That's why he only trains Sasuke! He wants him to kill us for his crazy red eye things!"

" I swear, I only had a little crush on him! There's plenty of girls out there you can put on the team, just get me off of it!"

Oh boy.

" He even asked if I had any keykey gunkais that can be given to another person! He wants to harvest me!"

It was obvious their trust in the man was kicked into the shitter. And it was sounding more and more like they had a point.

" While I could put you into another team, I don't have any..necessarily suitable...mentors to lead it, you two"

Naruto and Sakura look up at him with pleading eyes, " Well take anyone besides him!"

"...Anyone?"

" **Anyone!**"

"*Sigh* Alright. *Scribble* Be at this location tomorrow. And get off my legs!", he ordered as he slapped a post it note on Naruto forehead.

" Thank you Jiji/Hokage-sama!", the two cried out in joy before departing.

The old Hokage only got two minutes of peace before someone else burst into his office.

" Help me Hokage-sama!"

What the hell, was he some genin councilor or something?

" He did it! He indoctrinated my other teammate into his twisted ways! I don't wanna be next!", she cried as she groveled on the floor.

What? Wait...wasn't this one of...uhoh.

" I don't want to wear green spandex and a bowl cut! I like my sanity! Help me! Help Me!¡", the identified female teammate of Team 9 begged.

'GAIIIII!¡!' the Hokage shouted in his brain so loud, he almost gave himself an aneurism. Those two had been a pain in his ass from day one.

Hiruzen looked back down at the pleading Tenten...might as well make it a full team.

*The next day*

Sakura and Naruto stared at the purple haired tokubetsu jounin and the brown haired girl. The two had found out why she was there before their new sensei, Mitarashi Anko, got there. Her story was just as disturbing as theirs.

Anko looked at the three with weariness, " Uh, while I can kinda sympathize with you guys, and would love to take on a team, I don't know how I'm gonna be a better choice."

The three looked at her calculatingly.

" Have you ever tried to get someone to wear green spandex and shout about "the springtime of youth" constantly?", Tenten asked.

" Fuck no", Anko replied promptly.

Naruto and Sakura were discussing something to eachother before they looked at her.

" Have you ever gotten a teammate killed, or "accidentaly murdered" one? Have you any intentions of harvesting kenkei genkai? And are you going to unproportionally train only one student to emulate you through the deaths or killings of the two other teammates?". Obviously it was Sakura talking.

"Okay, one, nobody dies on my watch. Two, harvesting kekei genkai was my dumbass sensei's thing. And three, I would train everybody equally and have no interest in making a Mini-me".

" So why don't you think you would be a better choice?", Tenten asked incredulously.

" Well, I had a nasty, fucked up sensei. And while I really want to see him dead, he did manage to turn me into a sadistic, bisexual, S&M loving pedophile before we "parted ways"

Silence. Then Sakura whispered and explanation into Naruto's ear..then the silence continued...then Naruto and Sakura started discussing to eachother.

They reached a conclusion.

" Take us! We're yours!", they proclaimed as they grappled onto their new sensei.

" Well, how can I turn down that offer?", Anko replied with a lick of the lips.

Then they all stared at Tenten, who seemed to be still weighing her option. It all boiled down to a choice.

'Become a sex slave for this one, or become the next "Green Beast' for the other...it's obvious'

" Take me, I'm yours!", she copied as she grabbed on.

Anko grinned like a madwoman, " Now this is my kinda team! To celebrate, foursome at my house!", she proclaimed as she grabbed onto all of them and poofed away.

While the two had their doubts down the line, they breathed a deep sigh of relief when they heard about Sasuke murdering his teammates before defecting to Orochimaru.

Tenten got used to it, especially after finding out that Team 9's new member, Sai, had turned to the "Green Side", days after being put into the team.

Thus, Team Anko was thriving...among other things...Naruto had always dreamed of starting a family with Sakura-chan...he just didn't think he'd do it while tied up...with Anko-sensei pumping his ass...and then making him do the same thing to Tenten...

But that's a story for another time...or no time.

Omake 3

Ri-Tanuki was holding an Inhouse Anbu meeting...in Naruto's apartment.

She would have used the Anbu HQ meeting room...but the fucking idiots were using it for "something".

They had serious matters to attend to for Kami's sake, like-

" I'm serious taichou! If I have to listen to Gangnam style over my fucking radio one more time, I'm going to suicide bomb the fucking radio station!".

Grumbles of agreement to Carp's ultimatum met her ears. This was getting ugly.

" I've put the request through a thousand times Carp. Do you think I like listening to dubstep all day?¡"

" Yes!"

"...shut up!"

Before things could escalate, Naruto popped back into the house with boxes...in Usagi's arms.

" Ohayo...anbu people!", he greeted as he walked in.

" Naruto? Where did you go?", Ri-Tanuki asked in confusion. Hadn't Usagi taken him to the park?

" I went and bought a Funstation2!", he proclaimed proudly.

Ox was confused. " You did? I thought those didn't come out until tomorrow"

" They don't. You should see all the civilians lined up outside of the stores. But I went to the PX instead, and Nana-neechan said they had gotten a few in, and grabbed one from the back before they put them on the shelves. I didn't have enough to buy the games I wanted though, especially when I picked up these", he stated as he had Usagi drop the box on the table.

" I found them in the surplus section, and figured you could use them"

Tanuki opened up the box in curiosity...

"Radio sets", she mumbled.

Ox grabbed two up and threw one to another colleague. They tested them.

" Functional radio sets!"

" With no Gangnam style piping over it!¡"

Rin looked at them. Considering their limited encrypting abilities, they were probably almost a decade old, and were probably sitting in a storage warehouse somewhere. But for what they needed them for, they would work perfectly. Shows how much HQ looked into their problem.

This didn't seem to register with the rest...who were all hugging Naruto.

" OUR SAVIOR!"

" He's a saint!"

" He smells like spring freshness!"

While her minio-subordinates were busy hugging Naruto, Tanuki was plotting revenge...hey wait.

She pulled her keys and searched...until she found the key to the cadaver room at the hospital...

" Hey Ox. The commander isn't letting his people off for Christmas Eve, is he?", Rin asked.

"Err, no, not that I know of. One of the reasons why I like you're command better".

" Yeah, yeah. Stop brown nosing and let's go get some revenge. The rest of you, watch Naruto", she said redundantly.

* The next morning*

Everybody at HQ was staring at their desks as tears ran down their eyes from the pure ominous doom of it all.

Why wouldn't they? There were unregistered severed heads on everybody's desks.

The commander burst out of his office, " AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!¿"

That's when all the radios in the HQ were changed...and locked...onto that damn song.

Someone started doing the dance...until someone hit him in the head with a...head.

" I HOPE YOU HAD A TAX STAMP FOR THAT!"

*At Naruto's apartment*

He didn't have a pine tree anywhere, so he had to make due with what he had.

So he wholly uprooted a young Sakura tree and put it in a big pot, before decorating it with stuff.

" Very nice Naru-chan. I don't know if there will be many presents to put under it though", Rin complimented.

" I don't mind. Afterall, Christmas is supposed to be about spending time with the ones you love and all that. Oh and eating lot's of food. Plus, now you don't have to listen to your minions gripe at you about the same thing anymore...so that counts as peace sort of", Naruto joked. Rin chuckled.

" Indeed it does. My dear son saved me from an aneurism", she joked back.

She looked at the time.

" Well, I think it's time for bed. Otherwise you won't be awake when I make breakfast", Rin prodded. She hadn't made breakfast the entire time she had retaken Naruto.

If it was any good as the rest of her cooking...

Naruto was in his bedroom a second later.

*The next morning*

Rin snuck into the apartment.

She could do that.

...Apparently, her whole command could do that.

She stared down at the tree to see a dozen different presents with the same shape of the obvious video game box.

She let out a soft chuckle as she set down the other presents she brought, hearing the tell-tale sign of Naruto still snoring in bed.

She'd say that he didn't know how lucky he had it...but she had a feeling he did know. It would explain the maturity for his age, when most kids were, to put it frankly, brats.

Although she would never admit it, she was forever grateful for what he had done for her that night.

Afterall, just like her minions, she was about ready to bomb every radio station in the Elemental Nations to get that song to go away too.

There you are. Merry fucking Christmas to all, and to all a good shit!


	18. Light Fuse, Run Away

Rin yawned as she walked up the steps of Naruto's apartment complex. She figured she'd get her sleep in there and let Taiga have a break. While the woman was a ditzy airhead, she proved invaluable for watching over Naruto when Rin couldn't...

...that, and she squeaked when you got into heavy petting...but Rin wouldn't know that. Not at all.

It did have it's cons though. Naruto had gotten away from her more times than not, and in many...creative..ways.

Rin opened the door to Naruto's apartment and her eyes widened in shock.

There was Taiga hanging from the ceiling.

Rin couldn't believe it..

"S-sempai! Help! The crotch rope is digging in!". Rin blinked owlishly as Taiga cried, before walking over and pushing her, causing her to swing back and forth.

" Iyaaa! It's digging in more! Ugu!".

" How did he tie you up...THIS TIME?", Rin asked the hogtied woman.

" He came out of nowhere and pounced like a hungry predator-", Rin grabbed something and twisted.

"-Wah! I was taking a nap again!",

Rin sighed. This was becoming way to common. It had to be boredom. Rin was sticking with that. Afterall, being cooped up in an apartment all day would work on anyone's nerves, and since his friends...friend was an infrequent presence, he had to do something.

" Where did he go?"

" Eh? Ummm, I think he said he was going to the PX". That made sense

Rin made her way out of the apartment.

" W-wait! Don't leave me here! Ugu-ha...HAAAA!".

Rin shook her head as she kept going. She must have struggled too much.

*With Naruto*

Naruto walked out of the PX with a few bags of stuff. Some notebooks, writing utensils, stuff like that. After all, he could read, now he wanted to write, and all the other stuff he could do with notebooks and writing utensils.

It was getting too easy to tie up Taiga, he had read every book in the house, and he had played so many video games that his sense of movement was out of whack (any hardcore gamer knows it).

Sure, he would gladly read more, but the PX didn't sell many books, and Kaa-chan was teaching him how to cook right now, so he didn't want to bother her with something like that.

Maybe he could even write his own book.

These thoughts ran though his head...until a rock ran into the side of it. He hit the ground, his bags falling along with him, as cruel laughter followed him down.

After the initial shock had worn off, his vision tuned to the laughter to see a man holding another rock while laughing at him, some other bystanders doing the same.

" Not so tough without your Anbu around are you monster?¡", the man shouted as he ground one of Naruto's bags into the dirt.

Naruto glared at the man, a fire growing behind his eyes that reflected in his trembling shoulders.

A year. It had only taken a year for Naruto's anger to boil over. Considering what he had gone through, a saint would have snapped sooner.

" What's that look for? You think you can take me on you monster?!", the man roared as he cocked his arm back with the rock in his hand.

Naruto snapped, running at the man with a speed he shouldn't have. The rock sailed over his head as he cocked back his arm, ignorant in his rage that it felt stronger. The man's confusion turned to pain as a fist buried into his gut, causing him to double over, setting him up for the follow up that planted itself in his face. He was down a second later. It did little to stop the rage induced beatdown the "demon child" unleashed upon him,

The bystanders were shocked frozen by the display of the man half consciously shielding himself from the whoopass their "blame toy" was handing him, along with the string of expletives coming out of the child's mouth. The ill tongue had seemed to reach familiar ears as Rin jumped down from a roof to see what the hell was going on. Once she found out, she shoved the gawkers out of the way as she got up to the fight and literally had to pry Naruto off the man.

Naruto vented everything, willing his fist to punch again and again as he turned the man's face into a wreck.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"

For some reason, he was getting farther from the man, thus he thrashed with all his might to continue his wrath.

" Naruto stop! STOP!"

"..."

He realized he was being held at bay...

"He's out cold. Calm down"

By Kaa-chan.

Once the fight left him, the inevitable tears started pouring as he started crying.

Rin knew better than to keep them there. She popped a clone.

" Clean this up", she ordered redundantly. The clone grumbled as Rin left. It then proceeded to pick up the bags and scare off the gawkers. It then looked at the unconscious man. What the hell was it supposed to do with him?

Spying some bushes, it picked him up and threw him, none-to-gently, into them.

" There. Clean", it proclaimed as it wiped it's hands and then left with the bags.

* In a training field*

Rin watched as Naruto tried to salvage what the bastard had ground into the dirt, wavering between crying or lashing out again. It was inevitable. She had seen the anger building up in him lately. As much as she tried, she couldn't shield him completely from the idiocy of the village. What made it worse was he had inherited his mother's temper instead of his father's. He obviously wasn't going to play martyr, and had finally blown a gasket.

Thankfully, it was in self defense.

Speaking of which, it was a chore trying to pry him off of that fool...she had to wonder...

Naruto sat there, trying to clean off his purchases, and salvage what had been broken when a shadow overtook him. He looked up to see Kaa-chan looking down at him.

" Are you angry?"

To Naruto, the answer was obvious, " Of course I am! I did nothing to them, and yet they think they're justified in treating me like crap? I'm not taking it anymore!".

Rin nodded, " Good. Now use that, and punch me"

Naruto looked at her in shock, " W-what?"

" Did I stutter? I said punch me. Right here. I won't even move", she stated, leaving her stomach wide open.

" I can't hit you! I might hurt you!"

" Ha! The weak little child thinks he can hurt me. How cute."

That got him, she could see the recent anger boiling up again from the insult.

" Now fucking punch me!"

It was a second later that Rin watched him plant a hit on her stomach. On the outside, she was stoic, on the inside..

'That's gonna leave a bruise. He can already call on his chakra, and he did it unknowingly' she thought as she watched his anger subside into guilt.

" That felt horrible", he muttered as he slumped back down.

" But it was necessary to see how hard you can hit", Rin said as she sat down along side of him. It was a few minutes later that Rin spoke back up.

" Well. I think it's about time I ask you an important question".

Naruto looked at her in confusion.

" Do you want to be a shinobi when you grow up?", she asked seriously.

Naruto's eyes widened in surprise, " I get to choose?"

Rin gave him an admonishing glare, " Of course you do! You're not a puppet! Don't let others make decisions or decide your future for you. Anyone".

" ...not even you?"

" Especially not me. Loved ones aren't there to tell you how to live your life. They're there to support you through your own choices in life...well...as long as your goals aren't evil or anything. So...do you want to be a ninja?".

Rin could see the gears grinding in his head for close to five minutes. She had never seen a five-year old think that long. Thank god he didn't get Kushina's mentality along with her temper...or maybe that was a bad thing.

He finally looked up at her, determination burning in his eyes, and nodded, " Hai. Beats being one of these stupid civilian people".

Rin chuckled, " Yes it does. Plus, being a shinobi makes things more interesting", she agreed as she ruffled his hair, " I was planning on not giving you that question until next year, but seeing as your downed a grown man already, I think it's best to start training you early".

"Sorry about that Kaa-chan"

" Don't be. I would have done alot worse to him...but it does bring up the question of how you unlocked your chakra already".

Naruto's look of confusion was all the answer she needed. It had to be his body's way of dealing with the fox, or something of that nature. It just made things easier.

" Anyways. We'll start first thing tomorrow. For now, let's head back to your apartment and free Taiga"

*With Taiga*

" Shake my shoulders a bit and wiggle my legs, and tada!...shake my torso and flex my shoulders and tada!...thrash my legs-..nonono NO-UGH GHAAAA!"

* Fast Forward*

The next few weeks were consistent repetition. Since he was only 5, his training regimen wasn't all that strenuous. Physical exercises and teaching him hand signs took up most of the time set aside for training, along with harnessing his chakra efficiently and consciously. It seemed to stem the growing problem of his boredom since she was finding Taiga tied up less...though if one figured quality over quantity...how the hell did she even sleep through that last one? Rin knew she was a sound sleeper, but damn.

Right now she was watching Naruto run laps. While he didn't have crazy stamina, it did take a bit to wear him down. In the coming weeks, she was going to start him on taijutsu. Mainly a style that went with his size for the time being. As impressive as his knockdown of a grown man was, it was sloppy at best.

" Training him already? I thought you were going to wait until next year?", Rin's eyes widened as she spun around and gawked at the unexpected visitor before tackling him.

" Asuma!"

Naruto blinked owlishly as the two greeted eachother, like any lovers that hadn't seen eachother in over a year would. Rin pulled away after a while. " I wasn't expecting you for another three weeks. How did you get off early?", Rin asked in confusion.

Asuma scratched the back of his head, " I haven't actually gotten off yet. The Daimiyo is visiting Konoha after...well I'm sure you heard"

" Y-yeah..the coup. It's scared me half to death when I didn't hear from you for a week afterwards", Rin admitted.

" Sorry about that. It was hectic around the capital. But, well, I'm still here", Asuma supplied with a nervous chuckle.

Rin could hear the hurt. Who wouldn't be? Besides him and Chiriku, the rest of the guardians were dead, their spots filled with FNGs.

" I'm sorry you had to go through something like that"

Asuma waved it off with a new front of bravado, " They had their ideas, and we had ours...just wish it could have ended differently...but let's get off that. After all-" Asuma grabbed Rin by the ass and pulled her up against him, "-it's been over a year".

Rin blushed, " You had the "no intercourse" rule just like I did", she argued.

" Bah. Some cheap hooker service can't qwell my passion! Me want Rin, Rawr!", He roared playfully as he picked her up bridal style-*cough*- and remembered that Naruto was there, which prompted him to set her back down as they both basked in embarrassment.

" Hey Naruto! You've gotten bigger since the last time I saw you. Name's Sarutobi Asuma"

A lightbulb went off in Naruto's head, " Oh! You're Jiji's son! The one he calls "knucklehead" all the time!"

Rin snorted as Asuma grumbled to himself, " Yeah, that sounds about right", he answered gruffly.

" How about we call it a day so I can talk to Asuma and... see how he's been doing. I'll have to get Taiga to watch over you", Rin said, but was halted by Asuma.

" Actually, I have a better idea"

*At the Hokage Tower a while later*

Ugh. This professional political talk was killing Hiruzen, but the Daimiyo kept dishing it out.

Many would think this was an unprofessional way to think about one's boss, but they would be completely wrong. Because he wasn't his boss. He was just his employer. Konoha and all ninja villages are independent of the countries they reside in. The countries hire out the help of the villages for national security, political figure protection, espionage and much more, but held no actual authority with the inner workings of them. Sway, yes, authority, no.

Sure, the Daimiyo could try invading them, but the country would most likely be on the losing side unless backed by another village. He could, however, pull funding from Konoha, which would cripple it's economy. If that didn't work, he could also TRY to take away their military trespassing right, but that might end up in war, or, the village moving to another country, leaving that country unprotected.

Konoha had contingency plans for everything E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Let's just say, if Konoha had to move, they already had sites planned out and building materials stored. There were also, NOW, three different plans for a catastrophic loss of forces. Go figure...but anyways.

His "attentive" musings were interrupted as the door opened. The Guardians tensed but wondered why the Anbu didn't. A small, yellow-haired, boy walked in.

" Jiji. Knucklehead said to have you watch over me while he and Kaa-chan get reaquainted".

Hiruzen would have facefaulted had he not been in the presence of the Daimiyo.

" What's intercourse"

Okay, he facefaulted since the Daimiyo did too.

" Hokage-dono, who is this child?", the Daimiyo asked after straightening himself out.

Hiruzen sighed, " This is the foster child of my knucklehead son's girlfriend, Uzumaki Naruto".

The Daimiyo's face turned to surprise, " Uzumaki you say?". The Hokage gave a subtle gesture not to ask in front of the boy. He got the gist, " Well. I think the rest of this can be finished tomorrow. I'm going to retire for the day. Till tomorrow Hiruzen", the Diamiyo excused himself.

The Hokage nodded to the Daimiyo while looking at the child still waiting for an answer. After he left, Hiruzen opened up his drawer and pulled out an orange book, " Here, read this and I'll fill in the gaps", he stated with a smirk. Naruto was already on the path to the dark side. Might as well get him walking.

*With Rin*

She wore a very familiar outfit, except, instead of pigtails, she was currently tying a pink ribbon into her hair, which she could do now that her hair went to her shoulders. Taking a spin around on her high-heeled mary janes, she came to the conclusion that she turned herself on. She paused as she looked down at something on the counter, before picking one up with an apprehensive look.

A minuted later, she walked out of the bathroom and had to stifle her laughter from the sight of Asuma in a teddy bear costume.

"Where did you get that thing?"

Asuma grinned, " Had it custom-made, except mine isn't made of plastic, and much more enjoyable".

Rin swayed seductively up to Asuma, " Oh? And what's a little girl like me, supposed to do with such a naughty teddy bear like you?"

Asuma grabbed her by the butt with both...paws, and pulled her up next to his fuzzy chest, " Play with me like any naughty little girl would".

Rin grinned, " Okay Mister Teddy Bear!", she chirped before pushing him onto the bed and taking him for a ride.

Rin provided the condom.

Shorter than most chapters, but something to read until I type up the next chapter.


	19. Baby Blues

*3 weeks later*

Naruto smoothly brushed the characters onto the paper in front of him. He prefered the scratch of a pen, but for fuinjutsu, you had to do traditional characters.

He figured it was because no one wanted to bother trying to figure out how to do it with modern writing, even if it would possibly cut the time down exponentially. Must be an, " If it ain't broke, don't fix it" attitude.

Oh, you're wondering why a 5 year-old is trying to learn fuinjutsu? Well, because of the cool seal on his door, that "detered" robbers/mobs.

He had convinced Kaa-chan that he had enough interest to invest the time in teaching him during the ramp up in his training.

But first, he had to get his penmanship up to snuff...which was gruellingly repeating characters over and over until they were absolutely perfect.

...He could now do 3 characters perfectly...this was going to take a while.

"Uwah! That's the neatest character I've ever seen! You're going to be a seal expert in no time."

Naruto looked at Taiga with a smile, "Thanks Tai-chan-"

"-heheh-"

"-but I'm still not untying you"

Taiga restarted her squirming in the complex ropework leaving her looking like a worm, " But I have to go to the bathroom!", she cried out.

Both stopped their work as they heard heavy thumping up the stairs of the apartment complex, then the slam of his door flying open. An Anbu in a Tanuki mask bolted through the house, making a bee line right for the bathroom while ripping her mask off.

Naruto knew what to do as he ran behind her and grabbed her hair as she dove for the toilet and started unloading whatever she had in her stomach with a heave, a couple gasps of breath, and then another heave.

" Are you alright Kaa-chan?", he asked the woman currently resting her cheek on the seat of something people usually had trouble sitting on without some sort of barrier in between. Now it looked like she was hugging her best friend as she tried to regain herself.

"No", she choked out after another heave.

"Maybe you should go to the hospital", he suggested in worry. After all, this had been happening for the last three days.

"There's no point", she choked out. It sounded like she was ready to start crying. Naruto watched as she got off the toilet and sat up against the wall. With a few handsigns, her hands glowed green before she, hesitantly, brought them to her stomach.

Naruto could have sworn he saw her face shift between a dozen different emotions in a mater of a minute before the green glow sputtered out, leaving her staring at the floor. It was a minute later, that she finally looked at him.

" Naruto...I need you to untie Taiga and tell her I need a pregnancy test"

"Uh...okay". What the hell was a pregnancy test? He went and did as she asked anyways. When he told Taiga, she turned pure white for some reason.

* A while later*

Naruto sat outside the bathroom as Kaa-chan did something with that pregnancy test. Naruto's waiting was interrupted as bickering ensued inside the bathroom. Taiga was in there too for Taiga reasons.

Finally having enough of the back and forth banter, Naruto got up and made for the door to find out what was happening.

"No, Taiga! You did not get me pregnant!"

" But all the things we did! W-what if, when we were grinding, my egg went into you and turned them both into a baby! I'm too young to be a mother...father!", Taiga panicked as Rin pinched the bridge of her nose. If she was good for anything, it was as a distraction from Rin's own feelings.

" No Baka! Two eggs don't...", she paused as she stared at Naruto, who had opened the door while Rin was swept up in Taiga's drama. He was red as a tomato...

Why?

It couldn't be.

"Naruto, do you know what she was talking about?"

"Uh...the grinding part"

"...HOW do you know?", she asked in a sickly sweet voice. Naruto felt danger. He ran off and brought back a very familiar orange book that made Rin forget all about her current predicament.

" I asked Jiji what intercourse was, and he gave me this book to read. It has alot more than just intercourse in it! There's double penetration, and fe-fellatio, and cuni..cunnilingus, and a whole lotta stuff. I didn't even know there were people that liked to be spanked!", Naruto explained excitedly.

Rin was foaming at the mouth. She knew she was tainting him, it was inevitable. But this...corrupted by the age of 5. By the very people who were supposed to keep it from happening.

" Does that mean you're a lesbian?"

*At the Hokage Tower*

Naruto sat and stared at the Hokage's secretary ash she stared right back. Heated arguing and the booms of what sounded like combat were happening.

...Apparently it happened enough that none of the staff were flinching...or helping.

That wasn't on Naruto's mind at the moment.

" Can I tie you up and spank you?", he asked the secretary.

"Eh?¡", the secretary cried out in shock.

" From the book I read, secretaries like that kinda stuff" (kudos if you get the reference)

The secretary looked at him in horror. "Where in kami's name did you get a book like that?¡"

Naruto cheekily grinned, " Jiji gave it to me", he said pointing at the door, which sounded like something heavy was thrown against it.

*Inside*

Rin was running out of ammo to throw at the bastard as she broke down.

" -and then he knows what grinding is, and I find out I'm pregnant with Asuma's child! Argh!", the irate woman sobbed out as she threw the last thing in reach when she collapsed on the ground.

Hiruzen was befuddled as he deflected the wastebucket with his diamond staff . First they were having a rousing "argument" about corrupting Naruto, then she got all emotional and started crying. Not even cute crying. Runny nose, incoherent speech, cosmetically disshelved crying.

...

...

wait wait wait wait WAIT!¡

The cogs in Hiruzen's head screeched to a stop and ground into reverse. Replaying the last part of her sobbing...

" You're pregnant?"

"Yes!"

"...It's not mine is it?"

" NO! I SAID IT WAS ASUMA'S!"

"...Oh...good...WAIT, NOT GOOD!", he shouted to the world. Asuma wasn't here. He was fucking around in the capital for another three years, which meant Hiruzen would have to take care of the problem in his absence.

" FUCK THAT!", the Hokage declared as he dropped Enma, who poofed away, having enough of the drama. The Hokage scrambled up to the ceiling, which his desk was currently embedded into, and got to work.

Asuma was due back in a couple days for his leave. He was going to find out it was a little more permanent.

*That couple days later*

Asuma walked up to the gates of Konoha with a spring in his step. Why shouldn't he? He only got to visit for a couple days last time. Now he had a month. He had something special planned, and couldn't wait to do it. But it had to be done perfectly.

With that special event churning through his mind, he walked up to the guard shack and signed in. Before he could go, the guards stopped him.

" The Hokage wished to see you as soon as you got here. Apparently some sort of family emergency".

Asuma quirked an eyebrow, " Family emergency? Heh, maybe he just hasn't had a good argument since I left", he teased before making his way to the tower. Honestly, he wanted the first person he sees to be sexy, fiery, and have purple bars on their face, not wrinkly, grumpy, and half a head of hair.

*At the tower*

The cigarette fell out of Asuma's mouth after hearing the news. Three sets of eyes stared at him while his brain reloaded. Once it did, he started rambling off questions rapid fire.

" How did this happen? What are we going to do? Are we even ready for this? ...Can two eggs-"

"-**NO**!" two voices shouted.

Asuma slumped into a chair, " We used condoms, so how?".

Hiruzen harumphed, " Wouldn't be the first baby born from a faulty condom", he replied while staring a hint at Asuma.

Asuma took the hint pretty well, " Ha! Defying your wishes for 19 years, 9 months and still going strong!"

" Well not anymore oh-son-of-mine! You're going back to the capital and telling the Daimiyo why you need to resign under my orders!".

Asuma gawked at his father. "Quit the 12 Guardians early?¡-", before he had time to keep arguing, Rin walked out of the room, causing everyone to watch as she left.

"...Uhoh", Asuma voiced.

" Indeed. I'm too old and in no position to help look after your girlfriend. I can hardly survive infrequent visits. You wanted to be treated like a man? Then start owning up to your responsibilities, and maybe she won't go preying mantis on your head the next time you see her".

The office went quiet until Naruto spoke up, " So condoms are for preventing babies and herpies!", he surmised like discovering the secret of the year.

"...take Naruto with you. You'll be seeing alot of each-other now, so might as well start now. Besides, I think your girlfriend needs some time to herself to cool off".

Asuma sighed to himself and looked down at the little professor, who looked back at him strangely.

" So you were doing intercourse with Kaa-chan?"

" Where are you even getting this information?", Asuma aked frustratingly.

" A book called Icha Icha. Kaa-chan took it away when she found out I had it, but I already read it twice"

Asuma chuckled hysterically as Hiruzen found the wall very interesting. Once Asuma and Naruto left, Hiruzen when back to the usual grind...only for his secretary to bust into the office and rip off her clothes, " Just tie me up and spank me already!¡"

* On the way to the capital*

Asuma walked with a drag in his step as he and Naruto made their way through the forests, Naruto observing the scenery they walked past. This was alot more interesting than the usual reading or training he did back in Konoha.

His travelling partner was kind of a bummer though.

" Oi. Asuma-taichou. Why do you look so down?", Naruto asked curiously.

"*sigh* I just got your Kaa-chan accidentally pregnant, how should I feel?".

Naruto shrugged, " Happy? You cemented your claim to her".

"...you've been hanging around the Inuzukas, haven't you?".

Naruto scratched the back of his head, " A little. Usually fighting one cousin or fending off the other, but retardless-"

"-Regardless-"

"-regardless, you've been with her since I was a baby, right?".

" Yup"

"And I've read that ninja tend to die young. Like that coop that happened."

" You mean the coup against the Daimiyo?"

" Yeah, that thing. You could have died in that thing, then you would never have any babies at all".

...Damn it...kid had a point. Why was he looking so down on bringing life into the world for once, instead of the death that plagued a majority of it? Now he was going to be a father...crap..he was going to be a father. And Rin was going to be a mother. A REAL mother...he fumbled through his pockets until he found a little black box and opened it up. Naruto looked up at it.

" Ara? Isn't that a wedding ring?"

"*sigh* It's an engagement ring. Guys give them to girls when they commit to marrying them"

"So, you're going to commit to marrying Kaa-chan?".

" I would have liked to...now it would just look like I'm doing it because I got her pregnant"

" But you bought the ring before you found out"

" She doesn't know that".

" But I do"

Asuma chuckled. A five-year old vouching for him? He had his doubts on how far that would get him. He shook it off, " Anyways, let's pick up the speed a bit, otherwise it will be a week before we get there".

" Woah!", Naruto yelped out as he was picked up and put piggyback before everything seemed to go warp speed.

A couple of days later found the two in the capital, with Naruto taking in the sites as they approached the Daimiyo's castle. The castle guard halted them at the gates.

"Asuma? Didn't you just get leave? I figured you'd be holed up with your girlfriend by now...you got her pregnant didn't you?"

Asuma deadpanned while Naruto grinned smugly.

" Just open the damn gates", Asuma grumbled. Once they were past, the guard called up to the other guards on the walls.

" Asuma loaded his girlfriend!"

*In the Daimiyo's chambers*

The Daimiyo looked down at Hiruzen's message, containing the reasons for Asuma's early withdrawal, along with thinly veiled jabs at Asuma as well.

If he remembered correctly, Asuma's girlfriend was the one taking care of the Uzumaki boy. And now she needed Asuma back for support.

" Maybe I should have kept you in sight when we were in Konoha. Now, I'm down to one experienced guardian and a bunch of FNG's"

Asuma sweatdropped," Sorry about this Daimiyo-sama. Believe me, when I say, it wasn't my intention"

"Obviously"

" Uh...I can write down some pointers for the greenhorns before I leave".

" Would you kindly? If I have one more try to follow me into the bathroom, things are going to get ugly"

Asuma cringed a bit. He could tell the Daimiyo was miffed. He was so not getting his service smock for this. Asuma tried to think of something appropriate to say as the Daimiyo rung for a maid.

Anything he may have thought up was forgotten as something banged into the chamber doors...then some rattling..then a thunk.

" Could someone please open the door for me?", the desperate voice of the maid called. Asuma blinked, then went over and opened the door. A maid burst through and ran to the Daimiyo.

" Sorry for the delay Daimiyo-saMAH!", she shrieked as she tripped and took a nose dive into the carpet. It was no wonder why. Her hands were tied in a reverse prayer.

" Makoto, why are you bound like that?", the Daimiyo asked with half-interest. The other half was staring at her ass due to her skirt flapping forward during her fall.

" Gomen, Daimiyo-sama. I was watching over Naruto-chan when he thought up the game "tie up the maids", she answered while being helped up by an embarassed Asuma.

" Naruto? Uzumaki Naruto?", the Daimiyo looked to Asuma, who paused from freeing Makoto to shrug, " It was my father's idea, Daimiyo-sama".

" And where is he now?"

Asuma thought about what the maid said, before his eyes widened and he dashed out the door, " BerightbackDaimiyosama!"

The guards on the perimeter walls watched in amusement as a small boy chased a flock of maids around one of the courtyards. They were thinking of stopping him at first, but then he caught a few and tied them up.

They...decided against it, and continued observing

Such elegant, yet, tenacious ropework for such a young boy. They had to wonder who taught him...or how the hell a child had the strength to take down a full-grown (most of them) woman.

Ah, he caught another.

" Looks like he's going for the piddlefours style this time", one guard commented to another.

" UZUMAKI NARUTO!",

" Ah...interference from Asuma", the other guard commented as Naruto high tailed it out of there after finishing, Asuma hot on his tail.

*15 minutes later*

Asuma dropped Naruto on the floor of the Daimiyo's chambers, who pouted that his fun was ruined.

" I apologise Daimiyo. So does Naruto!", Asuma proclaimed as he stared expectantly at Naruto.

" But maids like being tied up!"

" That's not the point! Now apologise!"

Naruto grumbled, " Alright...sorry for tying your maids up, Oyabun"

Again with the wierd naming complex.

" Does that mean I have to give these back?"

Asuma looked to see him holding up a pair of panties.

Panty stealing too?¡

The Daimiyo narrowed his eyes, ' Those are Asuka's panties! White frills and pink side ties. No doubt about it!'

"Yes, you will need to return them. Give them to me so I can do so."

Naruto looked at the Daimiyo strangely, " I wouldn't want to burden you with such a bo-bothersome and embarrassing task, Oyabun. I can give them back when we leav-"

" 100 ryou"

" 100 ryou? For silk side tie panties?"

" Silk...200 ryou!"

" And she had worked up quite a sweat when I caught her. Her smell is all over them-"

"500 ryou and you never tell a soul!"

" You got yourself a pair of panties Oyabun!"

Asuma laid on the floor, twitching every now and then.

*Scene break*

Asuma and Naruto left the castle, Asuma smockless and Naruto 500 ryou richer. How did that work? Asuma gives him 5 years of service and gets nothing. Naruto ties up his maids and steals a pair of panties and gets money.

What a fucked up world.

Asuma got some measure of payback though. While the Daimiyo was busy with his newfound treasure, Asuma had left without giving the greenhorns dittly shit. Hopefully they followed him into the bathroom while he was " busy".

Now, he had the arduous task of going back to Konoha to make amends with his, most likely, very pissed girlfriend. If only there were some way to prolong the death march...

"Ooh, pretty"

...like Naruto being attracted to the pretty lights of a casino...Asuma shrugged.

" That works", he mumbled as he followed the kid in.

Modern law would prevent a kid from gambling, but that really doesn't apply here does it? The casinos would gladly take your money if you were 60 or 6. So when Naruto saw the slot machines, Asuma was fine with telling him how to play and watching him stick a coin in the machine.

He was mildly interested when he won 50 ryou on the first try

He was utterly shocked when the machine lit up like a Christmas tree on the second try.

" Woah!", Naruto exclaimed as a his 10 ryou coin was joined by 300 just like it.

A girl dressed in a bunnygirl outfit walked up, " Congratulations on winning! Would you like to trade any in for chips?"

Naruto looked to Asuma, "What are chips for?".

Asuma picked his jaw off the ground, " Err...they're for other games around her, like roulette and poker.

Naruto nodded in understanding before looking back to the bunnygirl, " Sure. Trade it all".

* A while later*

Asuma looked down at the roulette table as he helped Naruto actually reach it.

"Outside bet on Red", Naruto called having Asuma place all 30 100 ryou chips on it.

Damn, kid learned quick. He figured Naruto would just go with a number, but it looked like he didn't want to play the odds too far.

A sense of caution. A good trait for a ninja. But considering the kid's luck, he probably would have won, just like he did, doubling his 30 chips to 60.

Then he did just that.

" Straight up on six", he said "putting" his chips on 6, and only 6.

Asuma slapped his hand over his face as it landed on just that. The kid had won 21,600 ryou in a matter of a half an hour.

He figured it would be a nice time to find something else to play...before the casino started getting suspicious, " Oi, Naruto. Let's try something else. Err, what about poker?".

Naruto's eyes lit up, " I know how to play that!".

"You do?"

" Yeah! Jiji taught me".

Of course. Asuma looked around. There was a private table that the house didn't participate in, which meant he could win as many times as he wanted and they wouldn't get kicked out.

Asuma pointed him to the table,

"You don't mind if this young gentleman joins your game do you?".

They looked about ready to decline, until they saw all the chips Naruto had.

" Sure! If he wants to lose all his money, who are we to decline?", one of them said with a smirk, followed by the rest.

* An hour later*

" That's it. This is getting too rich for my blood", the last player at the table proclaimed. At least they were smart gamblers, opting out when they figured out Naruto was luck in human form. Asuma couldn't believe how much Naruto had accumulated.

200,000 ryou was a damn fortune for anyone.

Before he could tell Naruto to cash out so they could get going, someone else walked up to the table and set a large pile of chips onto it.

" Deal me in Gaki. I have a feeling I'm going to win big against you.

Both looked up, but only Asuma facefaulted.

Yeah, sure she was...that was totally why they called her "The Legendary Sucker".

Tsunade looked up at Asuma before her nose scrunched up in recognition, " Aren't you Sensei's knucklehead?".

Asuma responded through a faux smile, " Yes Tsunade-sama, I'm his son, and my name is Asuma".

"And what, other than letting a child gamble, brings you here?". Neither noticed Naruto's cheek twitch.

Asuma sighed, " Just handed in my resignation as a Guardian to...spend more time with my girlfriend.

" Cause Jiji ordered you to after you got Kaa-chan pregnant"

" YES, Naruto. Thank you for reminding me".

Tsunade looked confused. Naruto? That was the name Minato and Kushina were going to name their son...bad memories...but who was this Kaa-chan?

" So, who's this Kaa-chan"

"Um, that would be Inuzuka Rin", Asuma answered.

Rin...that girl she save from the drug overdose? Why was she watching over Minato's kid? Unless...Kushina didn't make it either.

Before she could dive into depression, Naruto elaborated on Asuma's answer.

" She's been watching over me since I was a baby. She's really strong. She's also a really good cook, and the best medic in Konoha!".

Tsunade just mindlessly listened until the last part, " Get real. I'm the best medic brat"

" But you're not in Konoha-"

*grumble*

"-plus, I've seen her cut a guy's head off. Have you ever done that?"

" Pfft. I've cut many a people's head off, among other things! Kami, brat, haven't you ever heard of me?"

He knew exactly who she was. You don't do as much reading as him and not learn about the Sanin. Hell his first aid book was written by her. Didn't mean he couldn't rile her up.

" But you never told me your name", Naruto replied cheekily.

Tsunade deadpanned, " Tsunade. Senju Tsunade".

Naruto's eyes lit up, "Ooooohhh!"

Tsunade smirked. About damn time.

"You're that woman who my favorite author, Jiraiya, dedicates all his books to!".

Tsunade facefaulted while Naruto quietly snickered. What was a kid doing reading those things?¡...Ah...why did she care?

"Name's Naruto. Inuzuka Uzumaki Naruto".

Tsunade got back up, " Fine, whatever! Get ready to lose all you money brat!", she exclaimed as she grabbed the deck.

*Uhoh*

This wasn't happening.

Tsunade looked down at her cards as sweat ran down her brow. Most of her chips had defected to the other side of the table where a little blonde kid with an IRRITATINGLY innocent smile waited for her to draw.

She put down three cards and picked up the same number. On the outside, she remained stoic. On the inside, she was dancing. Let's see the brat outdo this. She pushed the rest of her pile out. Naruto pushed out just as many.

" Alright gaki, be prepared to lose! Royal flush, low!", she proclaimed, showing it starting with the three of clubs.

Naruto smile turned into a smug grin, " Royal flush, high!", showing his ending with the King of spades.

Tsunade's head met the table as she cried out in defeat.

" Where do you get your luck brat?¡ No fair!",

Naruto got up and gave her a pat on the back, " Don't worry, you just had a run of bad luck."

" This "run" of bad luck has been plaguing me for-...eh?"

Her rant stopped when Naruto slumped against her shoulder.

*Snore*

Tsunade looked over to see him sleeping against her...while standing up. As cute as it was-

" Oi, Knucklehead, get your narcoleptic kid off of me".

Asuma got up from his chair to collect Naruto, " Sorry about that. I've never seen him do this before. Maybe you just have a way with kids".

Asuma saw Tsunade's face go sullen and knew he said something stupid, " Ah. Sorry".

" Whatever. Hope the brat enjoys his winnings. Time to drown myself in sake".

She found a small stack of chips placed in front of her, " I don't think Naruto would mind paying for that".

Tsunade wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, " Why thank you. Have fun with your pregnant girlfriend. Can't say I envy you. Maybe you should have stuck to a fan maiden like your father", she commented as she walked off.

Once she left-

" Maybe you should have stuck to a fan maiden like your father", Asuma mocked childishly

Whatever-"Muh...wha?", Ah, Naruto woke up.

" I had the strangest dream...I was in a small, dark, warm place, just floating around...but then a voice came out of nowhere...and started giving me instructions for jutsu..."

"..."

Well...at least it wasn't telling him to kill all humans.

"Anyways, let's go cash out and get out of here", Asuma declared as he raked up the huge pile of chips.

*With Tsunade*

The prospect of drinking her ass off took a shit as her bothersome apprentice showed up and found out she lost all the money they borrowed. It only took 5 minutes of nagging until Tsunade wasn't in the mood to drink anymore.

Walking through the casino, she spied a ten ryou coin laying on the ground. Maybe her luck had turned around. Sticking it into the flashy slot machine it was sitting by, it lit up like a christmas tree as she won the 10 million ryou prize.

Shizune forgot all about the lost money in lieu of the win, lauding in their tun of fortune.

Tsunade was too busy staring wideeyed at the machine. Something bad was going to happen..or was happening.

*With Asuma and Naruto, Finally on the outskirts of the capital*

Asuma could see the gates of the city. Finally! It had only taken them over 2 hours, and 20 stops, to get there.

Naruto had won a little over 1.8 million ryou. A sizable sum for any ninja. A damn fortune to a kid. It was obvious he wanted to spend some as soon as he found a candy store. Then he found a store that sold books. Then one that sold writing stuff. Then an electronics store, then a linen store, then a clothes store, then..a clock store?

Asuma didn't know what he was going to do with 2 grandfather clocks.

They had just walked out of a glasswork store.

Naruto admired a hand-blown glass dragon he had bought, among other pieces, before Asuma piped up.

"You know, most ninjas tend to live simply", he heard from behind him.

" No, they just tend to pick expensive vices instead. Like gambling, drinking, sex, or 150 ryou imported backs of cigarettes", Naruto counterprodded. He could see the surprise on Asuma's face.

" How did you know they cost that much?", Asuma asked in confusion, which caused Naruto to look at him strangely.

" Because Kaa-chan smokes the same one", Naruto answered as if it should have been obvious...or not.

" Rin smokes?¡", Asuma cried out in surprise.

Naruto shrugged as he put the statue back into the storage scroll his items came with, " Well, yeah. Didn't you know that?".

"No! I've never seen her smoke whenever I visited".

" Right, because you visit so much. But then maybe she didn't want you to find out", Naruto surmised with his arms crossed.

Asuma was losing rigidity, and fast. Oh, this was great. Not onlly was there going to be mood swings, but nicotine withdrawal as well. Things weren't looking good for him.

*Close to Konoha*

" Come on, Taichou! Stop dragging your feet!"

" I don't wanna!"

" You're acting like a child!"

" So?"

"Look, you're screwed either way. So you might as well get it over with"

Naruto watched the man deflate, before he "trudged" a little faster.

That went away when they got to the next town, where they were having some week-long festival.

" Oh! Hey look, a festival! Might as well enjoy it", Asuma diverted, Naruto trying to stop him like an anchor for way too big a boat.

" Oi! Stop trying to prolong the inedible!", Naruto shouted in tow. After a while, he gave up, mostly because he started smelling food and seeing the lights. Naruto let go and started looking around. With a nod of his head, he pulled out his money.

A small blonde could be seen zipping between the food stalls.

" Ah, Ikayaki"

" Ah, Yakisoba"

" Ah, Choco Banana"

"Ah, Yakitori"

"Ah, Taiyaki"

After a dozen different stops, Naruto let out a belch, his stomach filled to the brim. It all tasted like sin, and sin tasted delicious.

After letting his stomach settle down, he decided to play a few games. Making sure Asuma was still holed up at the same stall, drinking, that he had been the whole time, he wandered further down the midway.

He meandered through the stall workers, wondering what he should try first-

" Oi! You! Human boy!"

Naruto turned in confusion. Human boy?¿ He looked to see a strange looking Miko at a very "home-made" stand, pointing at him.

" You look like someone that wants to buy a fortune! Especially one from our esteemed stand!"

Naruto gave the stand a sympathetic once-over, "Not many visitors to your shrine I'm guessing?".

The Miko waved it off, " We have plenty of patrons...though tengu and nature spirits are horrible at donating".

Was...was she being serious?

Naruto bought one just in case she was. As the Miko...hugged the money, Naruto opened it up.

" Ahh, extremely good luck"

This apparently shocked the Miko, " Eh?¡ I don't remember putting any good-luck ones in-".

Oi, what kind of operation was she pushing?

"-You were supposed to by a charm!", she pouted.

Really...wait, he could buy a couple for Asuma...

"Alright, sell me a couple"

The Miko kissed the new money as Naruto pocketed the charms. Then he got an idea.

"...I wonder if I can..."

*?¿?¿?¿*

As Naruto walked away from the stand, a sandy blonde woman walked up...to see the Miku trying to, unsuccessfully, free herself from her bonds.

" What the...did you just get robbed or something?"

The Miku paused in her efforts to grin smugly at the woman, " Pfft. No. I just made a load of money letting some human kid tie me up! Now if I could just-get-out-Ahh! It got tighter! Help me!", the Miko pleaded to the woman, who shrugged.

" Sure...if you pay me"

"..."

The Miko chose option B

" NGAR-NGAR-NGAR!"

"Oi! I was only joking! Stop trying to chew your arm off!

* With Naruto*

Naruto continued his walk around the midway, taking in the sights and sounds. It was nice not being glared at for a change, or many of the other things they did in Konoha.

Then he spied her, staring longingly at one of the games. Making a decision, he walked p to her," Do you want to play?".

He could see tuned reflexes in her as she reacted to him startling her. Well...in-the-process-of-being-tuned reflexes anyways. She froze for a second before cursing to herself.

" Thanks twerp. You blew my exercise", she grumbled.

Exercise? Oh.

"Blending in with your environment?"

" Yes"

"...but you're wearing shinobi sandals".

She gaped and looked down. Indeed she was. Her sensei was so going to chew her out for that.

Naruto smiled, " So now that you don't have to blend in, did you want to play?".

The girls crossed her arms in a serious pout, " I don't have time to play silly little games at some festival"

" I'll pay for it"

" That one", she pointed as she drug Naruto towards the stand she was looking at. It was a goldfish scoop game.

5 minutes later, the girl was glaring at her broken paddles, then looked jealously at Naruto, who had just caught his second fish.

" How are you doing that?¿", she whined.

Naruto smirked in amusement, " A steady hand. I've been practicing for fue-fuinjutsu, which takes precision. I could probably be a surgeon with all the practice I've had to do", Naruto explained and complained all at the same time.

The girl pouted. Why was she training to wield a giant fan again? Oh right, apparently some long forgotten dream that her sensei would never go into detail about, but loved to poke fun at her with.

" Here you go"

She came back to reality to see the bag of goldfish in front of her, " Eh?".

" I don't live anywhere that would be good for pets, so you can have mine", Naruto offered.

The girl's cheeks puffed out, " I live in Suna. How do you expect me to get them there?".

Naruto's eyes lit up in surprise, " Wow, you're training to be a Suna ninja?"

"Giku!", she hiccuped at her mistake. God, she was horrible at this!

" Well, I'm training to be a Konoha ninja. Name's Naruto. What's yours?".

She sighed in defeat. At least he was from an allied village. " Temari", she grumbled.

" Well, Temari-chan *twitch*, I have an idea".

He pulled out an extra storage scroll he got from the capital. It took a hell of alot of chakra for the five-year old, but in the end, Naruto sealed the bag of fish into the scroll and handed it to the astounded girl.

" You'll have to push some chakra into it to get them back out, or get someone else to...anyways", Naruto handed the scroll to her and then pulled out some more of his money, " What should we play next-whoa!", Naruto was pulled by the grinning girl. Ah, the feeling of being a dragging anchor.

*An hour later*

Naruto stumbled away from Temari as she happily ran the other direction with all the prized they won...

Vanilla...

She tasted like vanilla.

Was a kiss on the lips worth all the prizes and food he bought her?...The math added up in his head. Tenten hadn't even kissed him on the lips yet...he wondered what she tasted like.

So with those thoughts in his jumbled head, he walked, sort of, back to the stand Asuma was at.

Oh, boy. Naruto stared at Asuma, who was slurring through some story he was telling to anybody around him.

" Oi! Taichou! Can we get going already?".

" Eh? Nardo...riiiigh...bak ta kohohoha...HAZAH! *FWOOMP*", Asuma got up only to fall flat on his face. Naruto knocked on his head...out like a light. Great. Naruto looked to one of the stand workers.

" 500 ryou if you carry him to an inn for me"

*Later that night*

Naruto got ready for bed in the room he had to rent. They looked at him funny when he pulled the money out for it, but that might have been because of the unconscious man who was being carried by a stall worker behind him.

Pulling out his pocket-money to add to his wallet, he found the charms as well. Weighing his option, Naruto decided it was better if Asuma survived his impending doom, and needed all the help he could get. He walked over to the unmoving knucklehead and stuck them into one of his pockets. His expression grew curious when he felt something else in the picket and pulled it out.

Oh, it was the engagement ring Asuma had bought...maybe he didn't need luck, just a little shove with a helping hand. Instead of putting it back, Naruto pocketed the box and made his way to bed with a smirk.

* The next day*

"Hiyakuuu! I can see the gates finally!", Naruto yelled...intentionally, causing the man behind him to wince, still getting over his hangover.

" Hai hai, just stop YELLING!", Asuma snapped.

" It's what you get for drinking yourself unconscious"

" Ugh. It's a pity it didn't kill me"

" Kaa-chan would just find a way to bring you back to life so she could kick your ass"

"..."

"Come on! It's not going to be that bad you baby. She's probably not even mad anymore"

"Is she still pregnant?"

Naruto looked confused," Uh...yeah?".

"Then she's still mad"

Naruto walked ahead with a grumble, " Well we won't know until we get it over with"

"What's this "we" shit?", Asuma grumbled as well as he walked up to the gates.

*Dead man walking*

"Dead man walking!". Asuma grumbled after hearing the Inuzuka guarding the gate proclaim his "arrival". He was sure his old man wanted to know they were back, but since he never assigned it as a mission, it wasn't mandatory.

Which made Asuma's self-described death walk all that more gruelling.

" Kaa-chan probably just got up, so she's most likely at her apartment".

Asuma became nervous and started searching for his cigarettes. He found them, along with some good luck charms...he never remembered buying...wait, where the hell was the ring?¡.

He started frantically patting himself down.

"Looking for something?", Naruto asked.

"Yeah! The ring! Where the hell did it go?¡".

He didn't get a reply. He looked up to see Naruto trying to look innocent. It wasn't working.

"Naruto.."

Naruto put on a full toothy grin, " Hey! Look what I can do! *POOF*"

Naruto turned into a log.

" Where the fuck did he learn Kawarimi?¡ Wait...he wouldn't"

Oh yes he would.

Asuma bolted towards Rin's apartment, hoping to head him off.

*Outside the apartment*

Asuma blinked at one of the in-house Anbu, panting outside of Rin's apartment, " Is Naruto here?"

The Anbu in a rabbit like mask gulped for air as she nodded, pointing at the door. Wasn't fast enough, so he used someone who was. Asuma opened the door with a sense of doom.

" And then we-oh! I've also been practicing my pick-pocketing skills!", Naruto's story changed as Asuma came in. Naruto put the black box in front of Rin,"Look what I snagged from Asuma before we even left for the capital! I think he was going to give it to you".

Rin, who was standing by the table, looking strangely depressed, opened the box. She stared at it.

"Th-this looks like an engagement ring"

Asuma knew there was no feigning ignorance or the like. Might as well jump.

"Y-yeah. I saved up for it for a while...I was going to ask you when I got back to Konoha, but with what happened...I didn't want to look like I was doing it out of obligation".

"Asuma", Rin choked out as her shoulders trembled.

Asuma panicked, " I mean, I'll still support you fully and whenever you want to get married we can and I'll be a father to it and we can even have 4 or 5 more-"

"-*hicup*"

"..six?"

"..I...I-I...I'm so sorry!".

Asuma tensed up as he was grappled into a hug by a sobbing Rin. Yet, he didn't feel any knife wounds.

" I was so stupid for doing it, but I heard about the coup and thought you died and-" she kept sobbing out.

Was she blaming herself for this? You can't imagine Asuma's happiness that he wasn't going to be destroyed.

" Rin, it's not your fault. It takes two to do what we did, and we knew the risks-"

"-You don't understand!...I-I put a hole in the condom!"

Asuma froze completely as Rin kept going.

" I thought that if you got me pregnant, you have to quit and come back!".

"Uh...well, it worked", Naruto piped in, since Asuma wasn't very talkative...or animated.

"Rin...", ah, he was back, " You remember that outfit you said you would never wear so long as you lived?

Rin's head shot up in confusion, " I hate that thing!",

" *staaaare*"

"...oh...right...poked a hole in the condom". This was punishment.

" Naruto, I need to talk to Rin-chan alone. Why don't you put your souvenirs away at your apartment", Asuma suggested.

Naruto got the hint, " Okay. I'll see you two later. Usagi-chan, I got you a present!", he proclaimed as he left out the door.

Rin looked like she had wanted Naruto to stay as a buffer. He didn't. Rin watched as Asuma pulled the ring out of the box, grabbed her hand and put in on her finger.

"I never said yes", she retorted lamely to the act.

" Sure you did. It's sitting in your belly right now. You wanted me home, now here I am. AND we're moving into another apartment. There's no room for three of us. ...Ugh, and then I have to find a new placement back here, and then we have to start planning for the future", Asuma retorted as he sat down on the couch.

His relaxation was interupted as Rin jumped onto his lap and stared suspiciously at him, " You seem less than angered about this. You almost sound eager".

Asuma chuckled before becoming sullen, " You weren't too far off on the dying part. There were three times in that coup that I almost did just that-"

He could feel Rin tense, " -They were my comrades, they knew my tricks and tactics. It was pure luck that kept me alive in the end, and after that...it was a bunch of new faces. Besides, in our line of work, we could go any time. We should be happy we're going to be a mother and father after all."

Rin played with the ring on her finger, " You know, technically, I already am a mother".

" So, this shouldn't be any different from the first time...well, except for the 9 month waiting period...and being biologically related to us...and no minions to help out".

" And you get to go through my moods swings, cravings, back pains, swelling, bloating"

" And you get to go through labor"

" And you get to help me through it all"

" And you get to quit smoking"

"...EH?¡"

*Later that night*

Rin gawked at Naruto's living room, especially the giant grandfather clock that adorned it...and the shelf full of glass statues...and Taiga-

" It's soo cute! Look! It even comes with a little fluffy tail!"

-in a bunnygirl outfit. God, they almost didn't fit into that...

She looked to Asuma, who just shrugged, " He won a ton of money at a casino, and apparently likes spending it"

She focused on the first part," You took him to a casino?¡"

"No, he went into a casino. I just followed"

" You still let him gamble! And you gave him the money to do it!"

" Wrong again. He used the money he got from selling a maid's pair of panties to the Daimiyo"

"W...what the hell?¡"

" After he tied up 5 of them-"

" Six!", Naruto proclaimed proudly as he walked in from his bedroom, and received a bop on the head

" You don't tie up the Daimiyo's maids!"

"Oww! But he didn't seem to mind!"

" I don't care! Taiga is one thing, the Daimiyo's servants is another"

" O-oi! Why is it alright to tie up me?¡"

" You like being tied up-"

"-Uguu!-"

"-besides, it's what you get for teaching him in the first place!"

" But it was in your living room", Naruto retorted.

"Because I was going...", everybody looked at her as she held her tongue.

"...to use it to tie up Taiga?", Naruto finished for Rin. Rin reddened as Asuma connected the dots.

" Ooohhh, so this is the female partner you wouldn't tell me about".

"T-that's none of your business"

" I think it's my business to know who my fiance has been sleeping with, especially when it's another woman"

" So I get to know all of yours too?"

" If you want to know"

" Or you can tell her why you have a makeup compact with all the purple used up *Bam*, Owww!"

" Don't talk about that!"

" You're engaged to Asuma?¡ But what about mee?¡ All the things we did! What about our love Sempai?¡"

" Yeah, what about her love Rin? 'Whew, saved'"

" Don't you two gang up on me...AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT ASUMA!"

" **He's/She's not my type**"

" You're my type Tai-chan!"

" There you go, you still have Naruto"

" Uguu! Given away, like a pet, to a five-year old!"

" Hey! I'll be six tomorrow!"

"..."

"..."

"...I totally forgot", Rin groaned.

" Well..you wre a little distracted. Besides! We can go back to that festival tomorrow", Naruto proclaimed.

Rin looked at him with confusion, " Festival?¿"

" Yeah! There's a festival going on all week in a town not far from Konoha. I tied up a wierd looking Miku there!"

"...One more strange story, and I'm going to make you write a report every day for the next year", Rin warned.

" Uh, eheh...anyways, we can go there for my birthday. Oh! Can we take Tenten too?

Rin opened her mouth to protest-

"-sure we can!", Asuma cut her off.

"Oi! Since when do you call the shots?¡"

" Since I'm still stiff upset with you, his newest guardian, and we need to take tomorrow off to get things situated anyways. Plus isn't there some stupid festival here tomorrow that you want to avoid?"

"...hey! Let's all go to that festival! We can even bring Tenten!".

*Omake 1*

Rin grimaced from the discomfort of the last piece of her thrice damned costume. She looked behind her and her eyes twitched.

Looking in the mirror, and shaking her ass, her eye twitched even more. If Tsume ever caught a whiff of this, she'd go apeshit.

" Once, and only once", she growled. She would not suffer this embarrassment a second time.

Clacking out the door of her bathroom in her heels, she found Asuma eagerly waiting for her.

" Does this float your boat?"

" Now now, do it like I said, or I could always find something...worse"

Rin tensed. She knew what he was talking about. With a sigh, she looked back up.

" Is this to your liking Master?"

"...*staaaare*"

"...n...nyah?"

Asuma ginned like a madman, " Very much so little kitty"

Indeed she was dressed as a kitty...girl. Elbow gloves, matching thighhighs, ears, bells and a tail.

" Ooh, you even have a tail *yank*"

"HNNGG! D-don't pull my tail!"

" Ah, it's attached"

"Of course it's attached...n-nyah"

"Well then, I'm going to have to inspect this little kitty better...on the bed!", he declared as he pounced on her.

" Nyah!"

*The next morning*

Tsume rapped on Rin's door. She had alot of explaining to do.

After all, she get's pregnant and doesn't even tell her? What the hell?¡

"Hai Hai! Just stop KNOCKING ALREADY NYAH!"

Tsume froze...n-nyah?¿

The door opened to reveal a half awake, half-naked Rin squinting at Tsume.

Sh...she had cat ears.

"Eh? Tsume? What are you doing here nyah-*smack*" Rin seemed to wake up real fast. That idiot Asuma had her saying it all last night, she slipped up.

" Why the hell are you "nyahing"...AND WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE CAT EARS ON?¡", Tsume asked in horror.

Rin felt the top of her head to realize she was still wearing them. Oh god. She needed a really good excuse...but she didn't have one...so she used the truth.

" I...poked a hole in Asuma's condom...and admitted it"

"..."

"..."

"...Y-you actually followed my advice?"

" Eh?"

" Y-you actually did what I told you to do...and now you're knocked up...and a kitty girl! Oh god! What have I done?¡"

The next half hour was spent trying to calm the hysteric woman...after dressing anyways.

*In a very familiar apartment at the same time*

Naruto loved these sheets he bought. Much better than the wool ones he used to have. These ones were silk and satin. It was like being enveloped in a cloud.

And these pillows pressing into his face were so comfortable. Nice warm pillows.

Wait...he didn't remember buying any new pillows...

He opened his eyes to see the pillows...wrapped in a flimsy see-through nightgown...and attached to someone.

He raised his head out of the valley to see the sleeping face of Taiga-chan.

"...Taiga-chan"

"...mm-more pudding.."

"~Taiga-chan~"

"...f-faster"

" TAIGA-CHAN!"

" Whah! What?", the girl/woman shot up. Naruto shook off the g-forces.

"Why are you in my bed?"

Taiga looked at him with dreary eyes, " Cause I was sleeping?"

"WHY, were you sleeping in my bed?"

"..cause there's nowhere else to sleep?"

"*grumble* Why are you even in my apartment?"

"...aaaahh. Sempai kicked me out for the night"

"...oooh", he got it. Before he could protest further. Taiga relanded right on top of him.

"Sleeepysleepysleepyyyyy...*snore*"

"Gurph urff muuuh!...Gurh", why was he complaining...such warm...pillows "*snurrr..flubflubflubflub*"

*Omake 2*

Asuma used all of his concentration as he kept dabbing the applicator and filling his work in.

" A little more, and...there"

" I've met some customers with strange quirks, but this takes the cake", the brunette prostitute claimed as she stared at the purple bars on her cheeks.

" I paid you extra for it, so stop complaining. Let's get to it", Asuma countered with an embarrassed blush as he put the compact away and started unbuttoning his pants.

*Omake 3*

"Kurenai-sensei..."

Kurenai looked up from her Ramen to her sole student.

"How...do you tell if a girl is attracted to you?", Naruto asked as he looked at her with complete seriousness.

Kurenai wasn't sure how to really start, " Well...there are usually signs...it really depends on the girl. Some show their interest by giving small, subtle hints..smiling at you, sitting next to you...others can be alot more direct...telling you straight up...or in some cases, claiming you as their romantic partner. Some even like to annoy you and bug you, either knowing their attracted to you or not fully knowing it. There are many more ways as well, just like the diversity of people in general."

" What about stalking?"

That set off warning bells in Kurenai's head about who he was thinking of, " Umm...sometimes..if they're shy towards people..or...why do you ask?".

Naruto seemed to pause for a second, " I'll be right back", he mumbled before dashing out of the booth and towards a bush nearby. Kurenai listened with shock as she heard a familiar "eeep", and then heard Naruto walking back to the stand. He entered carrying Hinata, who was doing the perfect impression of a caught rabbit.

He plopped her onto a stool before taking his seat as well, " Hinata has been following me around for years and I never knew why". Kurenai watched as the pale girl went even paler. Yup, she had been caught.

Naruto looked at her, " So, you like me?"

"I-I...uhh"

Kurenai decided to coax her along, " Hinata, he already knows. Just tell him. The only thing it will do is make things better".

Hinata sunk at Kurenai's words, but it seemed to do the trick, " I...liked you since I f-first met you"

Naruto was surprised and doubtful at the same time, " What? What was there to like about me-"

"-everything!..I mean..um...your confidence...y-your determination...it seems l-like nothing can bring you down. I-I don't have any confidence of my own, so you're like a pillar of support...for me", she poured her heart out.

Naruto was quiet for a while before responding, " Despite what you think, I have my weaknesses too, Hinata.."

She looked up in shock. He...he did?

" I could have used a pillar of support too, Hinata, while we were in the academy...hell, even a friend-".

He continued as Hinata felt guilty, slowly sinking into heself. She could give nothing in return for what he had given her...or could she...

*flashback*

A three year old Hinata watched as her father basically marched into the meeting room from his bedroom, her mother smiling from the door.

" Mommy, why does daddy look so...confidal?"

The mature woman giggled, " You mean confident, Hina-chan?"

"Mm", the toddler nodded.

Hinata's mother looked around conspiratorially before crouching down to her daughter.

" You see these Hina-chan?", she asked, pushing up her sizable breasts, " These can do many things, and one of them is give a man enough confidence to be the greatest warrior".

The toddler looked in awe, then looked down at her own chest, " I don't have any", she pouted.

The woman giggled again, " Well, when you grow up, and you find a man that you want to "support", you'll know what to do"

The little girl looked up cheerfully, " Hai Kaa-san!"

*end flashback*

As Naruto continued his muttering, Hinata's eyes showed more determination than ever.

Kurenai was eating as she let the two talk it out, so she totally missed Hinata unzipping her coat, grabbing Naruto by the head with both hands and pressing him into her chest. Her first indicator was-

"Naruto-kun! Use my breasts as your support!"

She looked and coughed up the noodles she inhaled a second later, while blood was pouring down from Naruto's face, Teuchi facefaulted, and Ayame turned red as a tomato.

Hinata held on until Naruto went limp and dropped to the floor, "N-Naruto-kun!", she shrieked.

Naruto's bleary eyes opened up to see four people staring down at him. One with the pitcher of water that was thrown on his face.

" A-are you alright Naruto-kun?"

Naruto shook his head to get the cobwebs out, " Yeah...yeah, actually I am", he said as he got up.

" Wow! I feel like I could take on all the Hokages myself! Thanks Hinata!", Naruto said with a raised fist and a bright smile.

Kurenai looked at the girl in shock, who was absolutely glowing in giddiness. "It worked!", she squealed out.

Oh god. Hopefully she didn't make a habit out of it.

"Inedible" was intentional. That's all I really have to say. The pace may be slow but I have dug myself too far in to just jump to the point. That's never going to change. If you are disappointed, this isn't the story for you. On a totally different note, I like "open world" games. Just a thought.


	20. Five's a posse

*October 11th*

Rin was taking a break from packing, while going through the newly developed photos from Naruto's birthday. Ugh, what a fucked up day.

Oh, it started out alright. The first photo showed as much, as they were all bunched up for a shot. Rin being the shutterbug she was.

*Flashback*

Naruto caught up with Tenten as they all waited at the gates for the last of their party.

" Ugh! Where is she? I swear I should keep her on a leash!"

All talking stopped as Asuma and the two kids stared at Rin.

"..Metaphorically speaking!"

"Ooh", was the general consensus...

" It would be hot though-OOF!", Asuma mumbled before getting elbowed by Rin.

" Wait for meee!", a voice called out as it got closer. Rin looked for it until she found Taiga barreling towards them.

" It's about...why are you still wearing that?¿", Rin griped. Taiga was still wearing the bunnygirl outfit after all.

" I forgot to do my wash. It's all I had to wear", Taiga whined as she caught her breath. Tenten had to wonder what she was looking at. While it was an embarrassing thing to wear in public, the costume and the woman in it looked very pretty.

"*Sigh* I told you to do it last night!...Whatever, it's your butt you're displaying-"

"-But you always said it was your-"

"-SO...let's get going...ah...let's take a picture first"

*Flashback end*

Everything in the picture was normal, well except for Taiga...no...it was normal. The walk there was a good time to talk to each other and get caught up. For Rin, it was a three way split between talking to Asuma, watching the little couple converse conspiratorially about something...and stare at Taiga's swaying ass.

Asuma put an end to that by pinching Rin's," Unless you want to delve into polygamy, I suggest you kick the habit".

Rin pouted, " But it's hard! And the side effects aren't helping".

Asuma looked at her strangely, " Side effects of what?"

"...erm"

His eyes bored a hole into her head until she finally caved.

" Umm, a recent study by a few research groups has found that Amaterasu, prepared in the pill form...does have a side effect of...permanent..large increases in the libido".

"...nymphomania"

" Oh...eheh...is that what it's called?", Rin feigned ignorance.

Asuma narrowed his eyes at the implications, " You only took a few pills...you gave Kurenai two bottles".

" Yeah...she nailed me in the stomach when I told her...two years ago...when we last spoke", Rin mumbled.

Asuma sighed, " Was it worth it?".

" Well, I heard she's made a name for herself as the Fiery Princess of Konoha-"

"-Rin-"

"-obviously not Asuma, but I can't fix it. I'm overly horny, and she's probably insane by now."

The silence between them stretched for a good few minutes until Asuma broke it.

" I guess I can thank it for one thing though."

Rin looked at him in confusion.

" You don't expect me to believe it had no hand in you pouncing on me in that hotel room"

Rin's eyes widened in surprise until she contemplated it herself.

" It...actually might have. But then if it was about nothing but sex, I wouldn't have poked a hole in your condom"

" True, but it still got it going didn't it?", Asuma said as he lit up.

Rin stared at him, " Yes it did...now give me that".

" Oh no you don't, you're quitting that just like you're quitting that ass".

" Quitting's for losers and I'm not doing it all at once, now gimme!"

" Nope"

" Grrrr. GIMME THAT"

" It's bad for the baby!"

" Just another Sarutobi starting off early, now gimme nicotine!"

The other three watched the most ridiculous game of keepaway ever...until Asuma sucked in the cigarette and swallowed it.

" So that's the nicotine withdrawal he was dreading so much", Naruto mumbled as he watched Asuma try to shake Rin off of him, who had clamped on like a tick.

"GIVE ME THE PRECIOUS!"

The other two mumbled their acknowledgment as Rin had found his cigarettes and ran off towards the town, Asuma right behind her.

*end flashback*

So, she had to give up on Taiga...but at least Naruto took a picture of Taiga's ass for her...how kind of him. Such a round, soft, yet pliable ass... *single tear*

She quickly hid the picture under the stack, " Ugh..I should just couple her with someone else and be done with it..."

Moving along. She looked down...ack.

*3rd picture: Rin holding her hands over her ears and her mouth open*

Rin looked at a jewelry stand. While she didn't wear much, it was still nice to look at. Her peripheral vision picked up a familiar mop of hair. She turned to see Naruto staggering through the street.

She would have assumed he was drunk, if it wasn't for the grin on his face.

" Oi. Naruto. Why do you look like you won the lottery?"

Naruto tuned to her with the same grin, " Tenten tastes like cinnamon"

" Nani?¡ Which part-ohshi*slap*"

Naruto looked at Rin in confusion, who had her hands clamped over her mouth, " Uh, she kissed me...are there other parts that taste like things?"

" I didn't say that! In fack, I said nothing!"

" But you asked, which-"

"-I did not lalala! I'm not listening lalala *flash*"

" I don't know what you're doing but it will make a funny-assed picture!", Asuma proclaimed as he walked up with Tenten, who was holding a giant stuffed monkey.

Rin was just glad for the distraction, " Hey! We're all back together. Now what should we do?"

Naruto and Tenten seemed to look at each other before Naruto piped up again.

" I know! Why don't we do a boys and girls thing for an hour or so. Kaa-chan goes with Tenten and I show Taichou something I found the last time we were here"

Both the adults looked confused at the suggestion, but decided to go with it.

Rin watched Naruto drag Asuma somewhere before looking down to Tenten, " Alright, I guess it's just us girls...minus Taiga, wherever she is...so what do you feel like doing?"

Tenten fidgeted, " Well, I am kinda hungry"

Rin was waiting for that answer, " To the food stalls!", she proclaimed as she marched in their general direction.

Over the course of the subsequent gorging, Rin studied the little girl in tow in-depth for the first time. Her first observation...she could really put down the food. Were they feeding her enough or was she another human stomach like Naruto?

Her second observation was that she could also talk your ear off. Though, Rin felt that was because she was living in an orphanage, and the only adult contact she got was from the Matron, which probably wasn't much on a personal level. So Rin let her talk as they ventured between the food stalls. How long she's been at the orphanage, her friendship with Naruto, how things were running at the orphanage...the Hokage was letting Anbu take care of kids? Then there were the adoptions, the potential parents picking through the kids and the like. Like a damned job interview except heavier. They accept you, you get a family. They don't, you stay alone and hope the next ones do, or the next, or the next. There was a small voice in the back of Rin's mind wondering how it felt for Tenten when she took Naruto in and left her at the orphanage.

" ~**Aahhhhhh**~", was the joint comment on the food as they held their settling stomachs. Rin would have to work it off later...ah...what was the point?

*crash*

Their ears perked up when they heard the sound of heavy metal objects falling. The sound came from a "milk bottle" game.

" Ooh! Can we play that?", Tenten begged with hopeful eyes. Naruto never used such tactics so her defenses towards them were weak.

" Alright, alright", she caved before Tenten lit up and dashed off towards the game. Rin could only chuckle.

Rin looked down at the ball in her hand. It was her last one. She looked towards those irritatingly inert metal bottles,mocking her very existence. She had hit them twice. TWICE! Yet the fuckers failed to all fall down to her whim. She could chalk it up to a few things. Her stomach was full. She was newly pregnant. It wasn't a kunai. But inevitably, she came to the conclusion that her aim sucked because she hadn't thrown anything more strenuous than a wadded up piece of paper in a few years. She really needed to work on her throw aim again.

Sighing in defeat. She handed her last ball to Tenten, who was looking at her in confusion.

" Here. You can have my last ball and then your turn. I think I softened them up enough for you". She shot a glare at the barker, who stifled a snort.

" Oook", Tenten replied unsurely. She took the ball and seemed to change right in front of Rin's eyes. With a fluid, yet, vicious, motion, Tenten let the ball fly dead on towards the middle of the bottles.

" Crash*

They all fell down.

Rin would cry if she wasn't completely shocked by the girl's aim and strength.

As Tenten walked away from the stand with her new stuffed panda, Rin regarded the girl.

" How did you get such good aim?", Rin asked.

Tenten smiled proudly, " Heehee, I've been practicing so I can join the Academy next spring...but they locked up all the kitchen knives so I've been getting rusty", the girl pouted.

" Ah, so you want to be a ninja. Don't they give you any preparation at the orphanage?".

Tenten shook her head in the negative, " Nuh-uh. They teach us other things, like sewing, and cooking, and...*crinkle* um, yard work, and carpentry, and I clean my own room".

Curiosity got the better of Rin as she looked over the girl's shoulder to see what she was reading...and choked when she read the first line.

*Tell her you can do these things so, maybe, she adopts you*

"-and I can heard livestock-"

So that's why the head caretaker was so carefree about letting her take Tenten out of the village for a day. Considering they were Anbu, it made more sense. The woman she talked to had to be one of them, and an infiltration type to boot. Hidden strength and sneaky ploys like getting kids to grow on people. GRRR.

"-and I can file your taxes-"

...and it worked. It wouldn't be the first time she thought about it that night. She was 7 afterall, not 2. Hell the Academy would be just next year, so it would really be like another guardianship...but then inevitable reality hit her that Naruto would be going in the year after that and she would be taking care of a baby next year as well, not even thinking about what Asuma would say.

" He would kill me, that's what"

Tenten stopped reading off the list to stare at Rin in confusion.

" Umm, Tenten. You weren't hoping I'd adopt you...were you?"

"...", her silence and downtrodden face was proof enough.

Stupid Anbu must have hyped her up on the idea.

" I'm sorry sweetie, but I already have Naruto and another coming"

" But I really wanted a family"

The sadness hit Rin like an anvil had been tied to her heart. She wasn't used to this. Usually she just found herself stuck with kids, not one trying to get stuck with her.

" Uh, I'm sure you'll be adopted soon. Who wouldn't want a girl like you for a daughter?"

" But I'm too old. All the adults go for the younger kids"

They did too. Adopt them young so they fit better into a mold the parents wanted. Kids above six tended to be less easy to sway, so they were less desirable no matter how they looked or acted. So, most older orphans stayed orphans until they brought up their own families...if they brought up their own families. Most went with the shinobi career, and came out undertrained and underequipped with no family backing them.

It wasn't hard to imagine where most of them ended up...maybe Rin could do something for the girl.

" You know...", Rin started, gaining the girls attention, "..I've already started teaching Naruto...I could teach you a few thing at the same time, if I can get the anbu to let me".

Tenten's eyes lit up, " Really?"

" Yeah. I can even let you practice with real weapons"

" Really?¡",..that seemed to excite her even more, but at least it got her off of the adoption topic. Didn't mean Rin felt any better about it.

Why was she so tied to orphans?...well, if it wasn't for the Inuzukas, she would have been one. A heavy thought, and one that probably influenced her to help out any she found, but this was one that she had to say no to.

" Anyways, let's go find something else to do while we're here, and boy free". Speaking of which, what were they doing right now?

*With Asuma and Naruto*

" Oh yeah, right there", Asuma groaned as the masseuse,,,dressed in a skimpy maid outfit, ground at another knot with elbow gloved hands of magic.

" And you could have gotten one last time if you weren't drinking yourself unconscious", Naruto chided, getting the same service from one with half braided silver hair. Lucky him. He was thinking of getting the Thai massage...but the two younger girls that did that looked creepily mishievous.o

" Yes yes, I get it. We have to rejoin up with the other three soon though"

"...speaking of three, I haven't seen Taiga since we got here-"

"-Oh! They're starting the main ceremony!", Naruto's masseuse piped up after looking out into he street. The small parlor was empty the next moment except for the two confused males, who got redressed and looked to see what was going on.

They saw Taiga in that weird Miku dress, standing on a stage.

*Back with Rin and Tenten*

They hand found a Tokiyaki stand and were currently dining on the delights.

" Umm, do you really want your daughter around here? The main even is about to start up"

Rin looked at the vendor in confusion," Oh! Nono, she's not my daughter, just a family friend, but what-"

"-hey! there's Taiga-san!", Tenten shouted, pointing at a stage. Rin looked in confusion as they announced-

6

6

6

6

*With Taiga*

Wow! There were so many people watching. She wasn't sure whether she should volunteer when they begged her, but with all the attention she was geting, her doubts went out the window. She really didn't have to do much either, just kneel as the announcer proclaimed the event.

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen!-"

That was her cue!

"-to the 381st annual Harvest and Fertility Festival!"

Harvest and Fertility Festival?¿

"As you know, every year we give an offering to celebrate this year's harvest, and ensure good crops and prosperity next year, and this year we haven't failed to deliver! Please give it up for Taiga-chan!

"Ano, offering?", Her question was drowned out in the cheers as three men in strange masks surrounded her...just masks...and boy, were they excited.

" What the fu-ghm!", Ah...there was something in her mouth.

"What the fuck?¡", Rin shouted in shock as the crowd whooped the three men into action. They still did this kinda shit?¡

" W-what are they doing to Taiga-san?¡", Tenten asked in shock and confusion at seeing the strange event in front of her. A quick poke to the head and Tenten was out like a light. Rin grabbed her up...and her stuffed animals..and made her way to start searching for the other two idiots. She could only hope Asuma was still with Naruto to shield him from it as well.

6

6

6

6

*With Asuma and Naruto*

Asuma gawked at the display...then started taking pictures, " So that's why Rin went after her", Asuma mumbled in awe when they pulled off her clothes.

"Whoa, they're gonna "spit roast" her!", Naruto commented. where did he get a camcorder?¿ " Bought it off someone", Naruto answered Asuma's look.

6

6

6

6

*With Rin and cargo*

Where the hell were they?¡ As soon as she found them, she was dragging their asses out of there. Even the crowd was starting to get swept up in the "celebration". Luckily, her having a kid with her repelled any attempts to get her to join in.

*With Asuma and Naruto*

"T'ped! T'ped! T'ped! Woooo!", the two chanted with the crowd until it finally happened.

"Is it a bad thing we're enjoying watching Taiga get gangbanged?", Naruto asked.

"Not from this angle", Asuma replied as he kept snapping pictures.

"Maybe you'd like a close-up?"

" I wi...", both felt a shiver go up their spines. Neither of them said that. They both turned to see Rin glaring at them with a bunch of stuff under arm.

" Heyy Kaa-chan. They're doing some really weird things to Tai-chan. I'm confused and have no idea what they're doing"

Rin kept glaring, then looked up at it, " Ah, Paizuri"

Naruto rounded faster than Rin could blink, " REALLY?¡..."

He just incriminated himself.

" Uh...eheh..Taichou, you can help out anytime now..."

They both looked to see Asuma replaced with a wooden bear holding a fishing pole.

"...Sad when I'm more of the man out of the two of us!", Naruto yelled into the crowd. *BONK* " Owww!"

" Why the hell didn't you tell me about this?¡"

" We didn't know! It looked like a regular festival when we were her last time!", Naruto admitted as he rubbed the lump on his head.

" And why aren't you shocked by any of this?¡ You haven't even gone through puberty yet!"

"...What the heck's puberty?".

Rin palmed her face. She had no one to blame but herself...and the company she kept...but they wouldn't take responsibility so she had to...that made her a scapegoat...or the most mature one out of the group.

" We are getting out of here and into the next town. Then I'm going to explain EVERYTHING. You are going to know EVERYTHING."

Rin's face was dark, " ...Um...Hai. Shouldn't we wait for Tai-chan?"

" In! In! In! In!", the crowd chanted until it happened, then deafening cheers.

Both gawked,"...Well, I think she's done"

6

6

6

6

*End flashback*

Rin rifled through a stack of pictures with an angry blush. Asuma took so many, she could make an animation out of them. They scooped up Taiga right afterward, rolled her out in a wheelbarrel, chased down Asuma, and left the clusterfuck and into the next town. The last picture was of the two kids looking at Rin, wideeyed and green faced as she explained..EVERYTHING.

6

6

*Flash-*

She had raided the town hospital for visual material. They even had videos.

" Behold, the grand miracle of child birth!"

"...You mean in 9 months you gotta push a baby out like that?¡", Naruto shrieked in a high pitched voice as he pointed at the TV.

"...Yup...", Rin replied with dread.

Tenten was a little more shocked, " I always thought babies came from the stork, or cabbage patches! This looks like that alien movie!", Tenten sobbed out.

"...What a morbidly true comparison", Asuma groaned as he winced at the screen as the baby started crying.

" Is it even worth it?"

" None of us would be alive if it wasn't. We were all born that way", Rin retorted at Naruto.

Silence fell upon them as they thought about that.

Then the video showed the doctors pulling on the cord.

" Ah, they're pulling out the placenta", Rin commented.

A few seconds later, the two kids went green. It was worse than the venereal disease video!

Asuma's face froze in openmouthed disgust, " GOOD GOD!"

" I think I'm gonna be sick again!", Naruto groaned as Tenten covered her mouth.

" Use the bucket!"

6

6

*-back*

She found that trying to thwart a child's curiosity only made them more curious, so they were also given the proper talk...with Taiga as a visual reference...who was practically glowing after her gangbang. She had little choice in the matter, after all, it was either she did it, or Rin let that batch cook.

Well...looking back on it, it was pretty fun...until the last part anyways...okay, maybe if she hadn't been trying to shield children, she could have enjoyed the show more.

Now, she was Naruto's problem, as he would soon find out. Afterall, Taiga didn't like living by herself, and Rin was moving in with Asuma. So Taiga had to go somewhere, and she'd probably kill herself before trying to get back in with her clan...if they even let her. Poor girl.

Speaking of girls, she'd promised Naruto and Tenten that training would resume tomorrow. She better stop reminiscing and get back to work. Asuma was busy moving his own stuff in and finding a shiny new job so he could become a jounin, having not met the "criteria" yet.

Becoming a jounin wasn't as easy as some genin might think. You didn't just sign up for some " Jounin Exam" or something. There were tiers. First off, you hat to be at a certain strength level, show you had some level of proficiency in all areas of the shinobi arts, and be able to employ leadership and tactical thinking in a combat situation.

Then you had to have the time in a branch separate from the regular forces, or, serve 20 years in the regular forces, or, finish 50 A-rank missions.

For Rin, she went into Anbu, which gave her the needed check as soon as she signed up when also mixed with her time in the hospital. Asuma was trying to do it through the Guardians...and would now have to find something else to rack up his last three years thanks to her.

The next step is the one ninja had the most trouble with. You needed a clan to sponsor you. Sure, there were other sponsors, like the civilian sponsorship program or even the Hokage himself, but each entity, except for the Hokage, could only sponsor one shinobi a year, and the civilians and Hokage were booked for years to come. Thus, the clans were the best bet, since they didn't always have a clan member to sponsor every year.

Sometimes, even that proved to be a challenge. Sponsoring a ninja was putting your vouch in that the ninja was trustworthy and could handle secrets that could rock the foundations of the village. No clan just sponsored anyone that asked. A bad ninja could grind their reputation into the dirt. Usually, you had to be a trusted team member of someone from a clan, or do a clan a service that they would pay with sponsorship.

Rin didn't need to do that, she had the Inuzukas, who were actually waiting for Rin to ask. There was a little hesitance in sponsoring a former drug addict, but considering the small number of actual jounins in their clan...and Tsume listing off a few of the eccentricities of some of their current jounin...they sponsored her.

Then came the last step, which was an old tradition. They didn't pit you against other jounin or even elite jounin. The last test was to last five minutes against the Hokage.

He doesn't pull his punches either.

Rin made it past the five-minute mark by the skin of her teeth, and multiple injuries to show for it, along with the promotion.

There was also field promotion during wartime...which is what her idiot sensei bestowed upon that fuckup Kakashi during the war. Let's put it this way, if he hadn't promoted him, Kakashi wouldn't have "led" them on a damn fucking thing...very old wounds, so she wasn't going to think of that anymore.

Asuma was lucky, since he was from the Sarutobi clan, The Hokage could sponsor 2 ninja, being the leader of the village and the head of the clan, but he could only sponsor one non-clan and one clan, never two of either, and with the Sarutobis in such small population, Asuma would get sponsored as soon as he was ready. Then he would just have to fight his old man, which, Rin was sure, he was itching for, if not both of them.

Naruto would have it easy as well, since he was so well tied into the Sarutobis and Inuzukas, who basically raised him, in one form or another, or Tsume's increasingly...disturbing...affections for him...

She could probably do the same for Tenten.

Before yesterday, Rin only had fleeting contact with the girl, the Hokage bringing her over to see Naruto during the day, when she was either still working or sleeping, her only opinion being that she looked like a little panda plodding around. Yesterday, she actually got to know the girl. Sort of tomboyish, yet in a cute way. Intelligent enough for her age. A damn good aim and enough strength behind it to knock over heavy metal bottles at the game they played at the horny fest.

Wanted a family to adopt her...Guh. That look still ate at Rin. She looked back down at the last picture, the shook her head, 'I can't. I already have two kids to worry about...but it's not like a seven-year old needs that much supervision, and she would be joining the Academy next spring-no!'

" Grrr! I can't keep guilting myself over everything. She's fine where she is", Rin convinced herself. She put the pictures back into the sleeve and found her dusty old box of pictures. As she opened it up and set it inside, she spied a small wallet poking out. In confusion, she pulled it out and opened it up, which did likewise to old wounds as soon as she saw the first picture.

"...Miyuki". It was one of Rin's biggest fuck-ups, even though everybody, including herself at the time, told her there was nothing else she could had done, given the situation she was in. Rin disagreed wholeheartedly, after the guilt set in on the trek back to Konoha. The thoughts of what she could have done reeled through her mind every now and again through the years. She flipped through the pictures as she pondered another route she could have taken, until she got to the fifth picture and stopped dead in her tracks.

A minute later, she pulled out the new stack of photos and looked at the group photo again, then back at the other.

...It was her. Dammit, it was her.

Of all the orphans Naruto befriends...that wasn't fair...*sigh*

" My husband was an orphan. I was an orphan. My daughter...well, who knows what tomorrow will bring!", Miyuki's words played through Rin's head.

She sat there for close to a half an hour.

" I can't do it...", she mumbled to herself. It was another ten before she got up and popped a few clones to do the rest of the packing. She needed to talk to Naruto...who was probably being annoyed by his birthday present right now.

6

6

6

6

*Orphanage, a few hours later*

Tenten looked through her small assortment of clothes, looking for something to wear tomorrow. She was going to be training with Naruto!

By his Kaa-chan no less, who was a jounin level kunoichi!

There weren't many females that made it past chunin in the ninja world, most finally settling down to have a family, or finding a comfortable position and not wanting to advance any further. She hoped Naruto's mom could teach her alot of things...and let her play with alot of weapons, heheheh!

Her thoughts were interrupted as one of the matr...patrons poofed into the room.

" Tenten. Pack all your things and meet in the waiting area with them. You've been adopted. *poof*", the ma-patron poofed back out.

Tenten was torn between excited about finally being adopted, and being worried about who was adopting her.

What if they didn't let her go to the Academy?

What if they didn't let her train with Naruto...or even hated him like the previous matron.

She found herself with butterflies in her stomach as she packed all her stuff, which didn't take long. She took timid footsteps alongside one of the maskless anbu 10 minutes later. She had to ask the people when she got in there. Naruto had been her friend for years, she wasn't going to stop that just cause they hated him.

She'd make sure they hated her too if they did.

As soon as she got into the waiting room, shock played across her face before she burst out in joy and excitement and ran up to her new mom.

She had nothing to worry about.

* Later that night*

Asuma sighed in relief as he trudged back to their new house. It became obvious, pretty quickly, that the Sarutobi compound was the "perfect place".

To Rin anyways. It was only three blocks away from Naruto's apartment, instead of the six that Rin's place was. It was also cheaper since they were practically given the house, being a member and future member...members, respectively.

The cons? It was right next to his father's house AND his brother's house. That was a double whammy. Sure, his brother wasn't as bad as his father, but they did have "differences". Luckily, his brother's pregnant wife took up most of his time, being ready to pop anytime and all.

Moving along...he really needed to take a nice, hot, shower. After moving all of his crap into the house that morning, he then had to go over to the Academy and sit through some boring workshops and get a pile of paper that would be his itinerary for the spring class.

Yes, he was finishing out his last three years as an academy teacher.

Well, five years. He had to see them graduated through, after all, but he could take the last step in three, and be stuck there for two more. Oh well.

This played through his mind as he walked into the house. The clinks and clanks of cooking could be heard coming from the kitchen. Asuma looked around. Rin had moved them in already. While it was sparse, it already had a homey feel to it.

" I'm back Rin-chan! You definitely have a knack for home decorating!"

Instead of an answer, everything went quiet in the kitchen.

" Err, Rin?", What the hell. Was she already going through mood swings. There was a lack of killer intent if it was.

Oh, no, she was in the dining area...humming?

Asuma made his way there. Looking around the corner at the table, he found someone setting china down...but it wasn't Rin.

" Uh, Tenten, what are you doing?"

The little girl looked up, " Okaa-san asked me to set the table", she said cheerfully.

" Okaa-san did?", Asuma asked, gaining a nod.

Ahhh, he couldn't say he didn't see this coming.

" Does that mean you're my Otou-san?"

Asuma airfully turned around to see Rin looking at him behind the door frame of the kitchen.

" I don't know. What do you say...Okaa-san?"

Rin couldn't tell what Asuma's mood was. She would have taken pissed any day.

" Uh...n-not until we're married", Rin muttered as she came out.

Ah, single parent status. It was allowable in Konoha, so long as the person had the means and a credible history with kids, and Rin's was a mile long.

As soon as she told him what Naruto and Tenten concocted during that trip, he knew it was going to happen. He had watched her express it on her face a dozen times since then, and in reality...it wasn't that bad. She was seven after all, and would be in the spring class next year...funny how that worked...and they had already corrupted the poor girl, so it was a given Rin was going to adopt her.

That and she attracted orphans like bugs to a zapper.

He wasn't mad, but she didn't need to know that yet. Afterall, he WANTED to see her in that outfit.

" Ah, I just remembered. I need to go buy something"

"Uhh...what's that?"

" That other outfit"

Rin turned blue, " Uh, can't we talk about this?"

Asuma turned back to her, " Sure! We can talk about it on our way there", he said as he continued walking out the front door.

"...Tenten, could you make sure the food stays warm? We'll be right back".

Tenten nodded in confusion, having watched the whole scene. Rin quickly followed Asuma out the door.

6

6

Tenten kicked her legs as she sat at the table, waiting for the two to get back. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

She tensed. Should she open it? The knock came again.

She got up closer to the door.

...Okay, whoever it was was knocking in annoying patterns now. Spying a mail slot, she peaked throug, only to see another pair of eyes staring back.

She jumped back, then realized she knew those eyes. Opening the door, she found Naruto on the other side.

" Welcome to the family Tenten!", Naruto proclaimed as he hugged the, now, blushing girl.

" T-thanks...but why aren't you living here too? She's your mom too you know"

Naruto nodded, " True. She even thought about it. But in the end, she said living in my own place with her teaching me was making me more self reliant...but I think it has more to do with Tai-chan moving in/invading my apartment...plus, now that she lives closer, I can come over whenever I want!".

Tenten nodded at that logic, then thought of something else, " Since we're under the same mother, does that make us brother and sister?"

"..."

"..."

6

6

6

6

*10 minutes later*

Asuma walked back into the house, Rin following behind with a deep blush and a grumble about something. It wasn't two seconds later they were jumped by two kids.

" Kaa-chan, are Tenten and I brother and sister?"

She was only mildly surprised Naruto was there, it was the question that threw her.

" ...o-only in a technical sense. I only took guardianship of you Naruto. Tenten I took a full adoption. Not to mention the obvious genetic differences. So, in a way, you're just foster siblings"

Rin was kind of confused as to why they looked relieved.

" You guys act like you don't want to be brother and sister...oooohh, because you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend".

" **No we don't!**" they both replied quickly in unison.

" Sure, sure. Anyways, let's go eat dinner before it turns into jerky."

" **Haaai**"

" Oi, Naruto, where's Taiga? I was sure she would follow you here", Rin questioned.

" Err, she's a little tied up with something"

*Naruto's apartment*

" Come back!...I didn't mean to overwrite you save data!...at least give me back my clothes!...my boobs are hanging down and they're cold!...shake my hips and twist my shoulders and tada!...shake my feet and flex my stomach and tada!...shake my stomach and flex my thighsgghckkkHAAAAA¡!

6

6

This is where the chapter would end, if I didn't add omakes, that I came up with while typing the chapter, off the top of my brain and almost never on paper. The speed of my chapters won't increase or decrease if I write them or not. So if you don't like omakes, don't look past this paragraph. Simple, no?

6

6

Omake 1

Rin scurried up to Asuma before walking along side him in silence.

" So!-", she jumped at the word. Here it came, " -what took you so long?"

Utter confusion played across her face, " I was only a couple seconds behind you".

" No, I mean what took you so long to adopt Tenten?"

Now she was utterly confused, " How the hell..."

" ...Did I know you would? It's been written on your face since yesterday. So...what finally brought you to it?", he looked at her.

Rin sighed. Figured he'd read her like a book. It wasn't hard. " She's Miyuki's daughter".

Asuma's tracks stopped cold as he stared hard at Rin, " And, what, you adopted her out of guilt?", he asked shortly.

" W-what? Of course not!...well...a little..."

"Oh, just a little", he mocked sarcastically.

" It's the least I can do after what happened dammit!"

" How many times are you going to beat yourself up over that...There-was-nothing-you-could-do!"

" There was plenty I could have done!"

"Like what?"

"I could have knocked her out completely-"

" As that girl bled out, or even worse, try to heal that girl with a crazed jounin in the room knocked out for who knows how long!"

-I..could have made a shadow clone to-"

"-do what with a fraction of your chakra?¡ Heal that girl? Go after a jounin?"

" I..I", she started suttering as she tried to come up with something with more logic to it.

" Rin. You chose to stay and heal that girl instead of risking your life, and hers, for a suicidal/homicidal jouin, and that's after everything else you did for that whole clusterfuck. You did your best, and you did everything right. Let-it-go."

"...Alright"

Asuma sighed. She sounded less than convinced. Hmm.

" Why did you adopt Naruto?"

Her head shot up and stared at Asuma in confusion.

"That's obvious!"

" Oh? What? Guilt?"

"No. I adopted him because he's mine". Whew, there was no doubt in her voice there.

" Oh? I could have sworn Naruto's mother was laying in a bed"

" The hell she is! She never changed his diapers, never fed him, never taught him. She's laying in a bed trapped in her own head for the past seven years. So much for her stubbornness. I don't even care if she wakes up, he's still mine.", the edge in her voice stunned Asuma, along with the harsh words. They were talking about a comatose woman afterall...but if it put things into perspective..

" Oh? So what makes Miyuki any different?"

Rin looked confused before she really thought about Miyuki's actions...then her face darkened.

" What Miyuki did was worse...she knew her daughter...and yet she couldn't hold herself together for her. Why, because she had a lot of students die? Maybe she should have trained them instead of watching over them like a stuffed hawk. And instead of owning up to her breakdown, she commits suicide! What a great...Asuma..."

"N-nani?", came his startled response.

" I lied. She's not Miyuki's daughter"

"...O..Kaay. Then who's-"

"Mine"

" ...So her name's gonna be Inuzuka Tenten?"

"...Ours"

" Ah"

" Can we just go back already and forget the damn outfit? I'm hungry and I still need to do the rest of my wash...ah...speaking of which, I tried washing that old bear of yours, but it fell apart"

"..."

" Whew. It got so cold so sudden, I can even see my breath"

6

6

6

6

* 5 minutes later*

The store clerk thumbed through her magazine, having already swept the damn place twice. Usually the crowds didn't show up until much later in the night.

*jingle*

Oh? The clerk looked up as the bell warned of a customer. Her curiosity turned to shock as a very familiar face came through the door.

She was missing her jacket though...and her tubetop...well, she was just wearing the fishnet.

It didn't look like it was her idea either with the way she was trying to cover it up...ah, there's another familiar face.

"I'm gonna frickin kill you for this", Rin growled in embarrassment. You could see them right through the fishnet!

" Payback for killing Smoky, now go buy it", Asuma grumbled back before smacking Rin on the ass, causing her to jump, bounce, and get even redder.

Dammit, this was SO not her thing. And of course Asuma would make her walk up to the damn clerk like this while he watched from an aisle.

...but then, the clerk was in an outfit worse than hers. It was a latex maid outfit with openings so EVERYTHING hung out.

" Rin-sensei!"

Oh crap! The clerk knew her...wait...sensei? It wasn't one of hers for sure-

Before Rin could contemplate any further, the clerk walked out from behind the counter and hugged her. Eeek, those piercings were cold against her breasts!

" I never got to thank you properly considering what happened. Thank you so much for saving me"

" Saving..." A scar across the woman's neck caught her attention. " Yukari!"

The woman let go of Rin. " You even remembered my actual name. Unlike...her", there was a bitterness in her voice. She had every right to be. Crazed or not, if it wasn't for Rin, she would have been dead.

" Y-your welcome... I just wish I could have done something more".

Yukari looked at her incredulously, " More? We all saw how much you were doing. I'd think a novice performer juggling chainsaws is under less tension. You were basically trying to run the whole show by the end. I'm surprised the Hokage isn't trying to get you to take his position"

Rin scratched her cheek in embarassement, " N-nah. I'm not that good. Sooo...I take it you left the forces"

Yukari nodded. " Alot of the..."genin" did...I don't think I was ever supposed to graduate. So I quit, did some...stuff, and then opened this store", she replied timidly. So she became the owner of an..adult novelty store. " So what about you? I'm sure you've been busier than hell considering what I've seen so far"

Rin blushed. Such a strange conversation considering the atmoshpere and their attire...or lack thereof. She had to wonder just what the "stuff" entailed.

" N-not much...went back to Anbu, took guardianship over my son, got command of my own dettachement of anbu...sabotaged a condom and got pregnant, got a fiancé, and just adopted Miyuki's daughter"

Yukari stared wideeyed at Rin, "...Wow...no one can call you an underachiever. Three kids and a whole command at, what, 26?"

" Heh, 24"

A cleared throat pulled them out of their conversation as they looked at one of the aisles to see a mop of hair sticking out.

Rin sighed. What? Wasn't seeing two hardly dressed women enough to keep him occupied?

" Your fiancé I'm guessing? Can't say I didn't see that coming.", Yukari poked, " So, what can I get you?"

A while later found Yukari pointing out the features of the different outfits Rin was "looking" for, a pair of eyes poking out from the aisle behind them.

" Unlike the other ones, this set comes with boots instead of the more common sandals"

Another hearty cleared throat said Asuma approved.

" *Sigh*. Alright, that one", Rin conceded.

"Heeheehee",

Rin glared at the mop of hair until another mop of hair poked up right by it.

" What are we all doing?", a voice asked loudly, causing Asuma to jump and Rin to go blue.

" Tsume, what the hell are you doing here?¡"

She popped up the rest of the way, " I came to my favorite store and what do I find but my sister and her boy toy picking out naughty outfits...I'm so proud!"

Yukari looked to Rin, " You're Tsume's sister? Now it makes sense", there was some sort of conclusion in that sentence that Rin didn't want to think about, " You should have told me. Inuzukas get our prefered customer discount"

" Eh?¡", Just how many...she didn't want to think about it.

As Tsume heckled Rin, Yukari remembered-" Oh, Tsume-san! Your order is ready", she said running back to the back room and coming back with something that looked like it should have blurring pixels attached to it.

" It took alot of damned work. That farmer looked at me funny when he asked if I could use one of his horses for a reference."

Tsume was turning blue, " Uh, wai-"

"-and the amount of rubber I had to use was nuts, especially trying to integrate the vibrating bullets into the whole thing"

"-you don't have to-"

"-and making the channel all the way through it for the injector was a challenge as well, but in the end, it's finished. I even put the reservoir on the belt so all you have to do is strap it on, put in whatever fluid you're gonna use, and have at it until you want to push the button. One of my best pieces yet!"

She was met with silence as Tsume was trying to shrink into herself as Rin gawked at her. Even Asuma came out of hiding to stare at the thing. That couldn't fit in a person...could it?

"...Let's check out and pretend this never happened", Rin proclaimed, agreements following closely by.

* Later that night*

Rin looked at herself in the mirror. For-the-love-of-god.

This was worse than the cat costume. Afterall, this one went right at her pride.

A fricking latex nurse uniform.

The whole thing enveloped her from her crotch to the top of her neck. Any decency in that thought was taken away by the piece that ran over her breasts that could be unbuttoned off to let her breasts show, or the piece that did the same for the crotch. Then there were the lace up elbow gloves, the thighhighs with matching garterbelt, the nurses hat, and the ankle high, high-heel platform boots.

All white, all latex, all had red crosses on them.

This was humiliating...she would never admit more.

The house they had moved into had one feature that was very defining in the next moment, the bathroom was not attached to the Master bedroom, so when Rin stepped out, imagine her surprise, and many other things, when Tenten was looking at her.

" Gh! Tenten! What are you doing up?", Rin asked lamely.

The girl fidgeted as she squeezed onto the slug she was holding, " I couldn't sleep"

Rin sighed. Of course she couldn't. It was her first day with a family afterall...as screwed up a family as it was.

Rin crouched down to Tenten's height. A sizable feat considering the boots she was wearing.

" You're still excited from everything that happened today, but if you don't get any sleep, how are you going to train with us tomorrow?".

This seemed to cause the girl to panic slightly before, looking back at Rin with hope, " C-could you read me a story? That usually helps".

She wanted her to read her a story? In this? She didn't seem to be reacting in any way to how Rin was dressed so she figured the girl didn't know or care.

" ...Alright, one story", she got back up and led the girl to her room.

15 minutes later, Rin walked back out. That little girl could snore.

Walking back into her bedroom, she found Asuma still waiting for her.

" Did you get lost or something?", he asked jokingly as he eyed her up in appreciation.

" No. I had to get Tenten to sleep"

"...In that?"

" She didn't seem to mind"

Asuma pondered that, " Considering how long she was staring at Taiga in that bunnygirl dress...whatever..", his attention was on something else.

"...Nurse I think I'm sick. Can you give me a checkup?", Asuma asked huskily.

Rin twitched and then smiled coyly before strutting up to him. " Oh I don't think my patient needs a checkup. I already found the problem", she stated grabbing something important.

" Heehee, please do what you can nurse"

" Oh I will. But before the operation-", she pulled out a can of shaving cream and a razor with a mischievous smirk, "-we need to prep"

" Eh?¡"

6

6

Tenten woke to the sound of loud voices.

" Get that thing away from me!"

" You already have a patch missing. Let me shave the rest off!"

" Evil nurse! Evil nurse!"

" Be a good patient before I restrain you to the bed!"

Tenten went red before picking up her pillow and covering her head between them. It sounded like something out of the Icha Icha book Naruto shared with her.

Asuma sulked as he looked down. It looked like a shaved weasle.

" Ahh. So nice and smooth", Rin cooed as she rubbed it with her cheek while looking at Asuma with a victorious smirk.

" You're still evil"

" Awww. My patient is so grumpy. If I was so evil, I wouldn't do this"

Asuma looked at her in confusion as her tongue actually glowed green and she took it into her mouth.

" Wha-...whooooooooaaaa"

6

6

6

6

Omake 2

Naruto sighed as he walked up to his apartment. That was a good workout. While going over to the PX to get some powdered milk, some drunks had ganged up on him.

Six against him. What an unfair fight...for them. He had seen academy students put up a better fight. He didn't even know much about Taijutsu. He was just using what Kaa-chan had shown him so far. How to channel your chakra into your arms and legs. How to evade. And more importantly, the weak spots on the body.

From there he just weaved through their drunken attacks and struck them down.

In the last year, he had put the whoop ass on at least a hundred people. Some threw rocks. Thanks to his training, he caught them and threw them back. Some tried to beat him. He showed them why it wasn't a good idea. Some formed mobs. That was a little out of his league as of yet, especially when they got into more than a half-dozen.

Luckily, with Kaa-chan's merry little band patrolling most of Konoha, he had backup if things became overwhelming, which also helped when the random shinobi wanted a crack at him.

Sure, they tried to complain. Usually to the KPF. But the KPF didn't seem to care about the "wellfare" of the village lately, even looking like they enjoyed seeing the civilians distraught. Considering some of the things he heard whispered about the clan from various people, he couldn't really blame them. They didn't have alot of fans in the village for some reason. Naruto wasn't quick to judge though, having never really met a member of the Uchiha clan except for passing glances. He'd wait until he met a few in person.

With that, he grabbed the knob of his front door...or at least tried to before it pushed open. Uhoh.

Naruto was immediately on alert. No civilian could get into his impenetrable fortress after all.

Maybe he should back out and get help? Maybe he should see if it was Kaa-chan by checking the sandals next to the door. Maybe...was that a puppy barking?

Realizing that, yes, it was a puppy barking, his alert level went down. Either it was an Inuzuka or one of Kaa-chan's lazier subordinates watching his damn TV. Maybe it was Hana with her triplet puppies...was it too early to run and call for backup? He didn't want to play truth or dare with her again.

His curiosity got the better of him and he made his way into the apartment and it didn't take him too long to find something very wrong.

There were female..things..everywhere. It looked like someone moved in and set off an explosive note in their pile. There were hair care products on the floor, shirts in the window, bras hanging off his ceiling fan...he felt he knew this cup size.

Ah, the barking was coming from a game on his screen, that apparently involved a puppy, who was barking and doing tricks right now since no one was playing. He looked closer at the console and choked. His save card for Necro Space 2 was in there! They didn't!

He checked. They did! They overwrote the save file! 9 hours of hard work, gone!

He shut off the game with evil thoughts in his head. This flushed out the perpetrator from the kitchen, who was eating his ice cream.

" Ara? There you are Naru-chan! I was wondering where you went"

"...what are you doing here Tai-chan?", He asked with an eerie calmness.

" Rin moved in with Asuma, so now I'm your roommate! Won't that be fun?", she asked cheerfully.

Naruto could think of other things to call it, most of them antonyms. Kaa-chan had most likely sent her over here, there was no other explanation.

As she went back to eating his damned ice cream, he plotted evil comeback for her. He knew her sleeping cycle like the back of his hand.

*KnockKnock*

Oh? And who could that be he could possibly shove her onto?

He opened the door to find Kaa-chan.

" Dammit"

Rin came out of her thoughts when she heard Naruto curse in what sounded like disappointment. She looked behind him to see Hurricane Taiga went through.

" What? I thought you'd enjoy your birthday present", she poked fun.

" Take it back"

" Nope. You keep it"

" I don't want it! It blew up it's clothes all over my apartment, overwrote my game, and eating my ice cream!", he complained.

Rin nodded in a mock sagely way, " Indeed. Such is the nature of the beast. Now you know what I went through for over a year"

" Except you at least got "something" out of it!"

" Who are you talking to Naru-kun?"

Crap! He said it too loud. She spent a friggin hour trying to get the buxom bubblehead off her leg. With a quick move, she grabbed up Naruto, stuffed him underarm, and ran out the door and around to the other side of the apartment building before setting him down.

" Listen, I'll teach you how to handle her later, but right now I have something important to tell you"

Naruto was confused. More important than a twenty year old bubbleheaded anbu invading his apartment? It must be important.

" Okaaay..."

" I'm going to adopt Tenten"

"...Whoa. You mean it actually worked?"

Rin looked utterly confused until she thought back on what happened at the festival, " You two planned on splitting me up with her didn't you?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head, " It was mostly her idea, but I went along with it"

" Why?"

" Well.." Naruto thought about that, " It was sad to see her in there still. I mean, I was seeing less and less of her lately, and she'd tell me about what would happen in the orphanage, being displayed and dismissed for other orphans. So when she told me about trying to get you to adopt her, I thought, perfect! One of the best moms out there. She deserves it, and now I get to see her every day!"

...Figures. " But what about you?"

Naruto looked at her with confusion, " What about me?"

Rin elaborated, " If I adopt her, she's going to be living with me"

" So? I see you as much as if I was living with you anyways", Naruto replied with a shrug.

"...True..but don't you want to live together as more of an actual family?"

Naruto looked out at the village as he thought about that before turning back, " I don't mind where I am. My family is alot bigger than just the people in that house after all. You wouldn't believe how many times your minions dive into my apartment to take a break or a nap-"

' Ah! So that's where they're hiding out!'

"- I even learned to spit hidden weapons out of my mouth from Carp. How to garden from Ox. I'm even making a garden on the roof!"

"...I guess it is making you more self reliant as well. Plus, now you have Taiga to worry about"

" Bleh! You owe me for this!"

" Hai hai. I'll get you something else for a present"

" I know! How about a jutsu?"

" Who says you've earned a jutsu?", she argued with arms crossed.

" The twenty-something year old ex-girlfriend of my mom living with me, that's what"

" You make it sound so taudry. Think of it like living with your older sister"

"...more like a bad scene from a shota doujin", Naruto grumbled.

" I have no idea what that is and am shocked that you do", she replied none too convincingly, " Alright, a jutsu for letting her live with you until I find someone to hook her up with. But I get to choose it"

" As long as it isn't one of those lame ones I'll learn in the Academy, we have a deal!", He grinned as he held out his hand and they shook on it. Some parent/son relationship they had going on. Oh well.

" Well, I have to go pick her up then. Come by later tonight, cause I'm making dinner once I get everything situated."

" Can do Kaa-chan. Meanwhile I have...something...to do", he replied cryptically as he marched back to his apartment.

Rin shook it off and jumped towards the orphanage. She had a daughter to adopt!


	21. Pothole In the Road of Life

* Looks at some specific reviews* ...well...shit...sorry. Frame that word, cause I don't type it often...and mean it.

February

Naruto retook his stance as he stared down his opponent. He could tell she wasn't having a good time. Tenten never did like taijutsu, which was kind of plain to see with her love of weapons. She always had a few kunai on her, even though she really didn't need them yet.

Some would think kunai were only available to ninja.

Ninja would point and laugh at them before telling them to shut up.

Kunai, of varying quality, were made by almost every blacksmith in the lands, and most didn't turn away potential money whether they be ninja, civilians, samurai, or even nuke nin.

Of course, there were civilians that tried to regulate or prohibit kunai sales, citing the evils of kunai and al the people they kill. The last group had a lot more steam under them, but they were robbed and killed, on their way to the capital, by a group of thieves because none of them had any weapons. An absolute was written into Konoha law afterwards, stating all people have a right to defend themselves with any means. Of course, you had to know how to use them, but that's another matter entirely.

Tenten was currently trying to land a blow on Naruto and frustratingly failing. Every time she threw a punch, he would direct it to the side and try to throw her off-balance so he could either pin her or go for a quick strike as she tried to get back on her feet. He wasn't using the other methods they had been taught by Kaa-san. She had seen what those could do.

8

8

8

8

*Flashback, November*

"Alright you two, I'm gong to teach you taijutsu. It's a form that served me well when I was a genin and all the way up until I learned chakra scalpels."

Tenten was skeptical.

Naruto was-" Cool! What's it called? Fox style? Dog style? Ooh, Wolf style! Better, Superhappydragon style!"

" Pfft, hell no. Where in Kami's name did you get all those stupid names?"

" Dunno. They kinda just rambled off the top of my head...like they've been used before...way to many times".

Rin shook her head, " You want styles with stupid names, go that way-", she pointed to the east, " -Or you can join those Hyuga or that idiot Gai. I'll be teaching you something that's been around a little longer than both, Judo"

" Gentle Way? Isn't that kind of a stupid name too?", Tenten quipped.

" Yeah. But it's killed more people than Juken and Goken combined, so it's kinda earned it...anyways..."

" Killed?¿"

She was waiting for that," Why, yes, Naruto, taijutsu can kill. Allow me to demonstrate some of the forms of Kōdōkan goshinjutsu with Atemi Waza. These are NOT to be used in sparring. Luckily, we have a volunteer"

Tenten looked around in confusion, " Uh, you do?"

" Yup..", a minute later a clone appeared with a pinned woman, before throwing her to the ground, " ...In the form of this.." lady", that I found sticking an explosive note booby trap into Naruto's mailbox this morning"

"...", this couldn't bode well. Kaa-chan was never lenient with anybody that went after him with the intent to maim or kill.

" I-I swear! I didn't do anything!", the woman pleaded as Rin looked down at her with things neither of the kids wanted to think about.

" Ohh? Then maybe you'd like to open that mailbox to prove that"

The woman's begging stopped as the blood drained from her face.

"...That's what I thought, now _get up_"

Rin's tone brought the woman shakily to her feet as she stared at Rin in fear. It also caused Tenten to backstep, having never seen Rin like this, unlike Naruto who was still wary.

A smirk played briefly across Rin's face before it settled in an eerie impassiveness, " Now punch me in the face"

All three look confused. Did they just hear that right?

" N-nande?"

" Did I talk in some foreign language you can't understand? I said punch me in the face"

The lady was at leat a little intelligent. This was a jounin telling her to punch her in the face. Something bad was going to happen.

" _NOW_"

With a shriek of hysterics, the woman pulled back her arm and threw a punch right at Rin's face.

It was only a fraction of a moment later that Rin redirected the punch, grabbed the arm below the elbow, and used it to pull her into a knifehand strike right to the throat.

The woman dropped to the ground and clawed at her throat a second later.

" This, is one of the restricted Atemi Waza. It is used only when you want to kill your opponent", Rin explained calmly.

Tenten's hand flew to her mouth as she stared in horror at the woman thrashing uselessly on the ground, only high pitched wheezing coming from her.

" What I did was very simple. I collapsed her windpipe, meaning she is no longer able to breathe. Atemi Waza are strikes to vital points. This is one of the easier ones to do"

Naruto couldn't bear it anymore," Kaa-chan, she's going to-"

"-Usually, someone has about two or three minutes of oxygen in their system, so the death is slow, but with the way she's thrashing about, I'd say she has about 25 more seconds before she blacks out, and another 8 before complete brain death."

Tenten looked up at her in horror and panic as the woman's thrashing became less and less, yet, she couldn't form words.

" There are a couple ways to prevent this. If the person is smart enough, they'll know to use a kunai or other sharp object to give themselves an emergency tracheotomy. If they're not-"

She reached down with a glowing green hand and bluntly pulled her windpipe back into shape, allowing the woman to gasp for air a fraction of a second later.

" -they better have someone around who can, or a medic-nin handy, otherwise they're dead where they drop."

" Y-you alm-most killed her", Tenten finally stuttered

Rin waved nonchalantly, " Almost only counts in explosive notes, like the one still in Naruto's mailbox. Anyways, now that she's had time to catch her breath..GET UP", Rin's mood shifted instantly.

"*cough* N-no. I-I can't. I (coughcough*I CAN'T*coughcoughcough*".

" Wow, you really want to open that mailbox don't you?". Rin mocked.

"*hicupcoughcough* I-I-"

"-or maybe...you want one of your kids to open it?"

The woman went dead silent, not even coughing, as she slowly looked up at Rin in utter horror. Even Tenten and Naruto were shocked beyond words.

" Maybe your daughter, perhaps-"

"-y-you wouldn't-"

"-oh, what was her name? Ah, Aika. Maybe you want Aika-chan to open it up-"

The woman was shedding tears uncontrollably now, "-n-no! Please-"

"-as you watch, helplessly, from afar, as Aika-chan finds out what her _precious_ mommy left in there"

With a torrent of sobs and whimpering, the woman got back up on unsteady legs..

" Now. Punch. Me", Rin ground out.

The woman clenched as she threw the punch, trying to prepare for pain, or death, or both.

She wasn't prepared as her arm was caught again and quickly bent the wrong way at the elbow.

The scream was deafening.

* I hour later*

Rin watched as they wheeled her punching bag into the ER. She'd live, albeit with a few painful reminders for the rest of her life. She was lucky too. If Naruto hadn't angrily shouted at her to stop, she would have kept going for at least a few more rounds. Now came the important part, explaining what had just happened.

She turned around to see an angry Naruto and a tearful Tenten. Neither of them could look her in the eye.

She figured as much. She had planned for it afterall. It was a lesson she wanted them to know.

" Well, now that our abuse toy is in the hospi-"

" What the hell is the matter with you?¡-"

Ah, there it was.

"-You beat that woman to near death! And the things you said were disgusting! What's worse, you acted like you enjoyed it!", Naruto verbally thrashed the woman he thought he knew so well.

" The way you smirked when you did those things, and what you said about her daughter! You were like some murderer!".

She listened to the things he yelled at her, and even though she knew they'd be said, it still hurt. They had an incomplete picture of what she was, and they filled the gaps in with some imaginary ideas, only to have them ripped apart and see the truth.

" You're right, Naruto. I shouldn't have beat her..."

Naruto's rant stopped cold as he stared up at her as if it was the understatement of the year.

"..by law, I should have killed her as soon as I saw what she was doing"

Both looked at her in complete shock.

" That's how assassination attempts are dealt with. You kill the assassin. And I would have. Kami, if you knew some of the things that went through my mind as I saw her setting up that trap meant to kill my son. I wanted to kill her in the most brutal, slow, painful way possible. But I didn't. Do you know why?"

Both numbly shook their heads.

" Because I remembered her being a single mother after her husband was killed 6 years ago. If I had killed her, I would have made two more orphans in Konoha, for one very stupid mistake on her part. So, I compromised, and turned her into a shuddering mess for the next few months. And yes, I enjoyed it"

She crouched down to their level, " I hurt her for trying to kill you, and it felt damn good. That's part of me, the part of a professional murderer.. You seem to forget, Naruto, that I was a trained killer long before you were even born, and I still am. That is what a ninja is. And as ninja, you are going to see friends and loved ones do terrible things and make terrible faces. You're going to see them spill blood in brutal manners, see them go through emotions at times that make them look like monsters, do things unspeakable to get the job done, possibly even torture, and you're going to see the haunted looks on their face when it's all over."

Both of them were teary eyed, " Why did we have to watch?"

" To wipe any false illusions of what a ninja is from your thoughts. Kids tend to see ninja as righteous warriors, bound for fame and glory, when in reality everything is grey instead of black and white, good and evil, and the only way you draw fame is from how strong you are and how many people you've killed. Most of the "legendary" shinobi you've heard of have body counts in the thousands. If you become ninja, inevitably, you will become trained killers as well, and you will use your skills to kill, maim, cripple, and threaten, just like I did.. Remember this, do what you know is right, and if an alternative presents itself, take it. Threatening someone with something horrible is usually more effective than actually doing said horrible thing, if you're even capable of doing it that is."

"...s-so when you threatened to kill her daughter", Tenten finally spoke up/sniffled.

" She attempted to kill my son. I think the idea of her having to watch her own daughter die from her stupidity is a fair trade off from the idea of having to pull Naruto's remains out of a crater. Plus, it did it's job in getting her back up to take her punishment. Now, she has Naruto to thank for sparing her from me, she still has her children, and she's not going to jail or the chopping block", she replied as she got up and looked back at the ER doors.

"...What would have happened if she didn't-"

"-I would have killed her where she laid. I have no sympathy for someone that doesn't put their own wellbeing before their child's.", Rin cut Tenten off with a blunt reply.

" ...Is it worth it?"

Rin's eyebrows rose as she turned to Naruto, who was staring at her dead in the eye, " Is what worth it?"

" Is becoming a ninja worth seeing stuff like this?"

"...That's a question that has to be answered by you and only you. Only you can decide if it's worth it. For me, it was, for others I know, it wasn't.", she replied. At least they were asking questions.

Tenten looked at the ground, " So..how many people have you killed?"

Rin sighed, " Two hundred and seventy six. I haven't seen much combat in a half dozen years so mine is lower than most. Just don't go asking every ninja you meet that question. It can be pretty personal."

Silence reigned over the trio until Naruto let out an exasperated sigh, " Can we get back to training? All this heavy stuff is giving me a headache."

Rin narrowed her eyes at him, " Are you going to just shrug it off?"

Naruto crossed his arms, " You said I'd have to find out myself if it's worth it, and I won't find that out until I actually become a ninja. I was born around ninja, I was raised by ninja, I've befriended ninja, so I'm sure as hell going to become one. Isn't that right Tenten?"

Tenten looked up at him in confusion, " W-wha-"

" -We'll both become ninja and find out if it's worth it. After all, it's what we've been working so hard to find out, we're not going to get cold feet before we even get into the academy. We'd be no better than civilians."

Rin watched in fascination as Tenten went from confused to determined, " Right...after all, I'm not just practicing to throw my weapons into dummies...so darn right I'm going to be one."

Naruto nodded in satisfaction and then remembered something, " Besides, my first reunion with you was you sawing a guys head off and then hugging me covered in blood. I guess I shouldn't have been as shocked as I was"

" Then why were you?", Rin asked, prodding the boy into admitting something.

"...I guess it was seeing the fear and hearing her plead and beg, and then finding out she even had kids. I mean, I know she tried to kill me...but.."

Rin chuckled as she knelt back down to ruffle his hair, " Somewhere in that perverted interior, you have a good heart. Don't lose that, but don't let people exploit it either, especially when it's a fight for your life. As much as the other guy has to lose, you have just as much here, and I'm not going to see your funeral."

" Deal"

" ...Alright, I think taijutsu training can wait for a day. There's something else that, as a medic, I'm going to make sure my own children can do. First Aid.", Rin proclaimed.

Naruto looked warily at her, " You're not going to use a live practice doll are you?"

Rin scoffed, " Of course I am. Unfortunately I only had the one that I could beat up, so we'll just have to get by with treating simulated injuries on Taiga".

" That, I think we can do", Naruto sighed along with Tenten.

The woman fully recovered two months later, smarter, and more grateful for what she still had.

8

8

8

8

* End flashback*

" Alright you two, that's it for the day", they heard Rin call out from under a tree as she got up.

If there was any doubt left that she was pregnant, it died when her belly started inflating, which is why she had her jacket closed instead of open like she usually had it.

Not that it helped much. Sure, it wasn't peaking too badly yet, but you could still tell.

" Tenten, I swear to god, if you hop on a kick again, I'm going to weight your sandals down with lead", Rin chastised.

Tenten's cheeks blew up in a pout, " Well it's hard not to. He's such a shorter target than I'm used to-*smack*". Tenten leaped up on her toes and her eyes widened as a hand smacked her butt.

" I may be shorter, but it makes harassing you so much easier!", Naruto declared before running off, Tenten hot on his trail.

" I'll teach you for smacking my ass!"

" Such dirty language from such a young lady!"

" You're one to talk, hypocrite!"

Rin shook her head. They used to be a lot calmer. Now they were always picking on eachother. She knew better than to think it was anything less than friendly. As soon as they weren't near eachother, they got bored. One of the many things that changed in the last two months.

8

8

8

8

" Flashback, Middle November"

"ACHOO! *sniff* uguuu"

Naruto shook in revulsion. She just sneezed on him!

" Tai-chan, cover your damn mouth when you sneeze!", he admonished as he wiped it off with one of the rags he brought in.

" Sowrry", she nasaled out as she fell back into the pillow. Naruto sighed. Honestly, why did he have to take care of her?

Oh, that's right. Because Kaa-chan slapped a quarantine sign on the door and told him to "make her better" before she came back.

Ugh.

He slapped a cold rag to her head...not that it would help much with her fever, he just liked her reaction.

" Eeeeek! It's cooold!"

" That's the point"

" But it's coooold!"

" Grrr, fine. I'll go find a fan or some-ara?", he paused, after pulling the cloth off, when he saw some green marking on her forehead, which was apparently hidden before, under makeup.

" Hay Tai-chan, what's with this weird tattoo on your forehea-"

He was cut off as she grabbed the cloth out of his hand and slapped it back on her forehead.

" Oh, it's nothing. I gotta go ge..get somethinggg..in the bath-" she diverted as she got up, made it three steps and started passing out. Naruto made sure she did it in the direction of the bed.

What a reaction.

He pulled the rag off her head to look at it again. He then got a notebook and sketched it. It kind of looked like a seal. Once he had it drawn, he put the rag back on. She'd be out of it for a while.

* A couple days later*

Naruto was in the middle of making miso soup when his front door burst open. A figure in a gas mask commando rolled into the apartment before popping up and spraying everything with can upon can of disinfectant

" Kaa-chan, aren't you going a little overboar-OI!", he complained as she sprayed him too.

" Nope! I'm not catching that crap. Especially when it's not just me I'm worried about!", her semi-muffled rebuttal came from behind the gas mask, before giving him one good final spray, much to his annoyance, " Where is the walking plague machine anyways?".

Naruto wiped the disinfectant off his face before responding, " Holed up in our-err my bedroom. Apparently she's feeling good enough to drag the TV and one of my game systems in there. She better not overwrite my save data again...speaking of Taiga...", Naruto picked up the notebook from earlier and showed Rin what he drew, " This was on her forehead under some makeup. Do you know what it is?"

Rin was silent as her arms slunk to her side, " So she does have one", Rin mumbled. Naruto waited patiently for an answer.

" That...", she started as she sat down, "..is called the Caged Bird Seal. The Hyuga clan uses it as a sort of slave collar."

Naruto's shock was evident, " But she is a Hyuga, isn't she?"

Rin nodded, " Yes, but the Hyuga are split into two families. The Main family and the Branch family. The Main family puts it on the Branch family to control them."

" So...Taiga is from the Branch family?"

Rin shook her head, " No. She was from the Main family."

Naruto looked confused, " Then why isn't she with them? And why does she have that seal, they use, on her forehead?"

Rin got back up, " That, you'll either have to ask her, or find out by yourself. I think I know why, and it wasn't to hard to figure out. Anyways, I'm here to give her a booster shot, and I need your help.", Rin stated as she displayed a syringe.

" You do?", he asked in surprise, to which Rin nodded.

" She hates needles."

Oh boy. She could be hell on legs when there was something she didn't like.

Rin crept up to the door," We'll sneak in and catch her by surprise", Rin mumbled.

Naruto looked at her with a questioning look, " I know she's an airhead, but she's still an anbu. How are we going to "catch her by surprise?", he quoted physically with a skeptical tone.

Rin harumphed, " Obviously, you've never seen the "Santa Claus came early" tactic."

"...There's no way...let's just get it over with", he groaned.

They both got ready to burst in as Rin cracked open the door-

*snore*

She opened it up the rest of away. They found her crouched over and snoring as a puppy did circles on the TV set from her leaning on the controller.

" Well...that makes things easier. An explosion could go off and she wouldn't wake up", Rin sighed.

" Why do you think I'm able to tie her up all the time. Heck, this one time I got bored and started putting things on her. I got a really funny picture of her with a bucket on her head and holding the can of whipped cream I used to make a beard on her."

Rin almost stuck herself with the needle as she held her sides, trying to stifle her laughter. After she managed to calm down, she just walked up and gave her the shot while Naruto tuned off her game and laid her down into the bed.

He saw that she had reapplied makeup to her forehead, but not too well, as a section of green still remained to be seen by him and Rin.

" Poor girl", Rin mumbled upon seeing it, but Naruto heard her.

Once Rin left to "decontaminate" herself, Naruto decided to fridge the soup and do do a little investigating. He was sure he could figure it out if he just found another Hyuga. It was made easier now that he didn't have to stick to one part of the village.

He found them in the "Rich Bitch" part of town and started observing.

8

8

* An hour later*

Naruto reentered his apartment. Kaa-chan was right. It didn't take him too long to reach a conclusion.

Compared to all those conceited, uptight assholes, Taiga stuck out like a sore thumb.

Even the ones with their foreheads concealed had sticks up their asses. Naruto could already paint a picture of what happened, and it made him angry.

Sure, she was airheaded, clutzy, a bit dim, and a bit of a...ahemslutahem..but she was loyal to a fault, caring, fun loving, and she put up with so much of their crap and still hung around them...

The next thing Naruto felt was guilt. He'd be lying if he said he never saw her as an annoyance. It's not like she could help it. It's just the way she was.

These were the thoughts he had as he walked into the kitchen and found her sitting at the table in her sick, miserable state...and flimsy nightgown.

" Huuungryyyy. Feeeed meee", she groaned out.

Naruto snorted, " Alright Zombie-chan. I'll go find you some fresh brains-"

"uuuuguuuu"

"-or maybe some soup would be better."

" Haaaaaai".

So Naruto reheated the soup.

" N-nanda?", Taiga questioned as Naruto pointed a spoonful of soup at her face.

" Say aaah"

Taiga pouted, " I can at least feed myself. I'm not a ba-gmm!" Naruto stuffed the spoon in her mouth when he was an opportunity.

As soon as she tasted the soup, she caved and just let him continue feeding her.

8

8

8

8

* A few days later*

Taiga was back to good health and antagonizing Rin on duty.

Naruto, on the other hand.

"ACHOOO! Guuuuuhh", he groaned as he plopped back down into bed.

It was apparently amazing to Kaa-chan that he was sick.

He was around Taiga for days! Why wouldn't he get sick?¡ Honestly, did she think he was immune or something?

At least he wasn't throwing up anymore. That was a good sign usually.

His semi-councious musings were interrupted as he heard his front door close.

Ugh. If it was Kaa-chan here to spray him with disinfectant again, he was going to pull that gas mask off and cough right in her face.

" I'm back Naru-chan!"

Ah, it was Tai-chan

" Now I can take care of you for the rest of the day!", her voice got closer until she opened the door.

" Sempai even game me this nurse outfit to wear. Isn't it so cute?"

Naruto tried holding his blood in his head. Oh it was cute alright...and latex. How was she even walking in those boots?¿

" She even said I could keep it! It's kinda tight in the chest though", she added as she poked at them, then looked curiously.

" I wonder what these buttons are for? *Snap,snap,snap, *Boing*. Ahhh, that's a lot better...Naru-chan? Eeek!"

Naruto was leaned over in a pool of his own blood. Funny how she could kill with kindness.

*end flashback*

Rin flipped the ingredients in the wok as she listened to Naruto help Tenten with caligraphy at the dining room table. The girl had taken an interest as soon as she saw Naruto make a sealing scroll.

Rin knew why. Tenten's love of all things pointy and sharp became obvious as soon as she moved in, especially when Rin had to liberate her cutlery set from her...four times. She finally caved and gave the girl her own kunai set.

She had seen too many kids jump around in joy like that to say she's never seen a kid jump around in joy like that.

Of course, her collection had grown from god-knows-where, to the point she couldn't carry them all anymore. So, of course, she wanted to learn how to store them...oh and explosive seals...how could she forget the gleam in Tenten's eye when Naruto mentioned explosive seals...

Luckily, she would be entering the academy tomorrow, and then her obsession would be Asuma's problem, who's class Rin was sure to enroll her into.

It's not like she was eager to get rid of her for the majority of the day. Tenten had become a great part of her family. She wished she had adopted her sooner...before she started exhausting a lot easier because of the ever-increasing bump in front of her and her still healing injuries. She couldn't keep up with the squirt anymore.

So, until she finally pumped the next kid out, she would gladly take a supportive role, especially after being forced into maternity leave... after what happened.

8

8

8

8

*Flashback*

Asuma blinked at Naruto, " You want me to take you into the next town to go shopping?", he asked for clarification.

Naruto nodded eagerly, " Christmas is coming up, and I want to get Tai-chan something special, but none of the jewelry stores around here...deserve..my patronage"

Asuma sighed. He knew that would be the main reason, " I don't know Naruto. I have to look after Tenten too, and I have to work on the baby room-"

"-oh no you don't!", an annoyed voice proclaimed from the table, showing Rin in her uniform without the mask, holding a cup of tea while glaring at Asuma, " You've been working on that room for a month, even though it was finished in the first week! If you add anything else, there won't even be any room for the baby!"

Asuma huffed indignantly. There was plenty of room! He measured it himself!

" This isn't going to be anything like you last "present" to her is it?", she asked suspiciously.

It was Naruto's turn to huff, " What was wrong with getting her a nightgown?"

" You can read a book through it!"

" So? She loves it!"

" She's not the only one who loves it!"

" So you love it too?"

"..."

" It does add that amount of pointlessness that makes it even more erotic", Asuma admitted. All three were silent as they blushed. This was Taiga after all.

" No. I'm not getting her anything like that...that's what White Day is for. I want to get her a necklace."

Rin's eyebrow quirked at this, " Kinda going all out don't you think?"

Naruto shook his head in the negative, " She's been helping me train in taijutsu..",

He had even won against her...in his mind...that was still collecting itself, at the time, from the single kick that took him down. The same mind that was sorely irked as she panicked out that she didn't think he was "that slow".

Yeah, she was good, and fast about it too.

" She even taught me a ninjutsu!", he proclaimed, to Rin's and Asuma's shock

" She did?¡", Rin cried out, to which Naruto nodded

" Yup! Doton: Doryuheki ( Earth Release: Earth Encampment Wall)!"

Rin palmed her face. Giving a kid ninjutsu. Great idea...but then she wasn't doing any better by teaching him Shunshin she guessed.

" Not only that, but it seems like she never has any money of her own. What the hell does she do with all of it?"

Rin shrugged, " She puts it into an account for some reason or another. She would never tell me why."

It was a mystery for a later time.

" Then, lastly, all the crap we put her through and she still hangs around us. Anybody else would have hated us by now...or be a complete machoist-"

"-masochist."

" Yeah, that."

Rin thought for a while with a guilty expression, before pulling out money of her own and handing it to Naruto, " Make it a really nice one, from the both of us."

Naruto nodded vigorously, " Can do, Kaa-chan."

Asuma took that as a sign that he was taking him, and sighed. There was four cubic feet he could have done something with in the baby room after all.

" Sempai!", Usagi burst through the door with a swirly eyed Tenten under arm. Rin had her doing target practice out in a training field instead of tearing up the back yard again.

" Ox says there's reason to believe an infiltrator got into the village!", Usagi exclaimed as she set down Tenten, who started crawling for the bathroom. Asuma quickly helped her so he wouldn't have to clean the floor.

Rin shot up out of her seat, " Finally some action! It's been way too boring lately. Let's go find us a mole!", she declared as she grabbed her mask off the table and followed Usagi out, but not before turning to Naruto, " Don't have too much fun out there, and you better get going before they lock down the village."

With that, they ran out the door. Asuma had been trying to get her to take maternity leave, but she stubbornly refused, stating she wouldn't until it started weighing her down.

8

8

*An hour later*

It only took them a little while to get to the next town. The town itself was, in a sense, a middle man for the shadier merchants to trade, sell, and converse with more "respectable" merchants that frequented Konoha.

It was also a well known smuggler stop, so one could find almost anything, for a price of course.

So, a jewelry store was pretty mundane, but that's where we find our travelling trio, looking at necklaces.

" This is boring."

Asuma looked at Tenten with surprise.

Did a member of the female gender just call jewelry shopping, boring?

Naruto and the saleswoman were just as shocked.

"...What?", Tenten blurted out in confusion.

" I figured you'd like jewelry", Naruto replied.

Tenten huffed as she crossed her arms, " All it is, is shiny, glittery junk that doesn't do anything but look pretty. I don't see why girls go so nuts over it for."

Naruto chuckled hysterically. Asuma as well, while the saleswoman covered her ears and audibly tried to convince herself that it was all a figment of her imagination.

Tenten grumbled to herself as Naruto started searching again.

" Ahah! This one is perfect", Naruto proclaimed, pointing at one in the case. They all looked to see a small, bejeweled tiger on the end of an elegant gold chain.

The saleswoman looked skeptical.

" Uh, are you sure? It costs fifteen thousand ry-*flash*-oh", she conceded when Naruto pulled out the money

Ninja families, go figure.

" Can I have it engraved as well?", he asked.

" Of course. What did you want it to say?"

Naruto thought hard about it until he smiled to himself.

8

8

8

*present*

"**~Ahhhhh~**", was the unanimous agreement around the table after diner. It was still the best food made in Konoha, and cleaning up after the meal was a bargain price to pay for it. Too bad Asuma was still stuck at the Academy doing who-the-fuck-knows to prepare for class tomorrow.

" So, are you going back home after you're done Naruto?", Rin inquired, as he took a stack of dishes away from the table.

" Nah, not yet. I wanted to visit Tai-chan before I got home...you know, keep her up to date. Did you want to come with?"

Rin shook her head, " I visited her yesterday...so you can go ahead. Don't get into any trouble on the way there", she joked half heartedly.

8

8

*past*

Naruto and Tenten conversed back and forth as the trio walked back to Konoha.

" You didn't get me any jewelry for Christmas, did you?", Tenten asked with accusation.

" I already got your present. So, no, it's not jewelry."

" So what is it?"

" I'm not telling you. That would ruin the surprise."

" Aww, come on."

" Fine. I got you a set of leather thongs."

" No you didn't!"

" I got you a book on self bondage."

" Bullcrap!"

" I got you Super Happy Puppy Adventure 3."

" That's Taiga-chan's thing!"

" I got you a t-shirt that says " I bugged Naruto about my Christmas present, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."

" Hmph!", she pouted as they walked the rest of the way to the gates.

" Halt!", the familiar gate guard proclaimed, " Identify yourselves."

Asuma sighed, " Kotetsu, you just saw us leave a couple of hours ago."

" We have an infiltrator in our midst. How do I know you're not him?"

Asuma deadpanned, " If he's already in our midst, why would he be trying to get in instead of out?"

" You could be his reinforcements for all I know."

" And you could be too, positioned here to bog down incoming shinobi and provide an escape route." Naruto countered.

"...touche", Kotestus replied, with narrowed eyes, before the voice of common sense decided to step in.

" Knock it off Kotetsu. You know damn well it's them. Stop harassing people just because you're bore-*BOOM*"

All five snapped their heads towards the giant plume of black smoke.

" What the hell was that?¡", Kotetsu shouted out.

A worry popped into Naruto's head, " What if it's from the guy Kaa-chan is chasing after?"

This made the other two worried as well.

Against better judgement, they all ran towards the smoke cloud. What they found was a building with the top half in shambles, and Rin yelling at the medic-nin trying to treat her due to the fact all of her clothes were mangled and she was bleeding...alot.

8

*present*

Naruto walked past a very beautiful, pink haired woman as she talked mockingly and defiantly to someone. He guessed not all visits were sad ones. He brushed it off and looked for the person he came to visit...though he knew where she was, since he had visited numerous times before.

8

*past*

Tenten and Naruto stared in shock at Rin as Asuma tried calming her down. She was a mess. Worse than that woman she beat up.

"-we had him cornered, but he had an explosive strapped to himself-", she mindlessly explained as she kept looking through the debris, still reeling in shock from the blast and the injuries.

" Rin, you need to be looked at by the medics-"

" I'M FINE GOD DAMMIT!", she shrieked as she collapsed on the ground, fresh tears rolling down her bloodied face.

It was a couple seconds later that Naruto found something wrong. Very wrong.

" K-kaa-chan...where's Tai-chan?"

Rin's eyes widened in horror, like she had just realized Naruto was even there. It might have been the case. Her mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out.

" We have a body!", one of the recovery teams shouted for assistance to his team.

Naruto's vision lagged as he slowly turned to them, seeing them pulling out a woman in shredded anbu gear, and a painfully familiar head of dark blue hair splayed across her bloody face.

Naruto went numb as his eyes fixated to her, hardly feeling it as someone tried to turn him away to shield him from the sight.

This was just another simulation wasn't it? Another one of Kaa-chan's gut wrenching lessons right?¡

As the recovery team freed her body, her head rolled to the side, staring directly at him with a look of...nothing.

He heard a scream to the side of him, Someone hadn't shielded Tenten in time...they were too busy worrying over the one who was unresponsive, until everything hit him like a lead brick, and he broke down.

8

* present*

" Hey Tai-chan", Naruto started as he talked to the grey stone that displayed her name. He started telling her what had been going on as the events of her funeral still played in his head.

8

*past*

Naruto looked around himself, trying to avoid looking at the casket in front of him. Through tear-laden, puffy eyes, he scanned through the people who came to pay their respects.

Kaa-chan was a mess, emotionally and physically. Bandages covered a good portion of her, and the parts that weren't had nasty bruises somewhere or another. She was propped up on a crutch as well, in fact, the only part of herself that was unscathed was her stomach, which she had shielded from the shrapnel as she jumped away from the blast.

Naruto looked around again. Of course, Taichou and Tenten were there, along with the rest of Kaa-chan's command and the Sandaime. Alot of Inuzukas came as well.

But that was it. No Hyugas to speak of. Even upon her death, they refused to pay their respects. They had earned Naruto's ire, to say the least.

" Are you alright Naruto?", he heard from Kaa-chan, who he looked up at.

The first time he saw her in the hospital, he had frozen on the spot. She looked worse without the blood and the idea of seeing such a strong figure in his life in such a state was a shock to him. Even now...and she was crying too...

He couldn't talk, all the emotions were coming back. He shook his head in the negative and clamped onto Rin as fresh tears started pouring out. It was only a little while later that they started the funeral service.

8

*present*

Naruto finished speaking and did a prayer in front of the grave.

It still hurt, even now. It hurt even more when he had to box up all of her things at his apartment, the memories playing in his head...

He stared at the carving in the stone. They had adamantly refused to put the Hyuga name on it, considering her visible past with them, so they came to a consensus, as a sort of final Christmas present, since leaving the necklace on the grave was asking for it to be stolen.

It's too bad they couldn't have given them to her in life. Inuzuka Taiga was such a fitting name for her, even the Inuzukas agreed.

With a final goodbye, Naruto made his way home as memories churned inside his head.

8

8

8

I already have the omakes typed up, but I figured it would be kind of an atmosphere kill if I posted them along with this. I'll post them later.


End file.
